You try coming up with a title for this post.

The past few nights have been beautiful (snowless though they may have been). The moon has been just about full (either last night or tonight), and there's fresh snow on Pikes Peak. And they've been clear nights. Which means that, even at 10pm or later, it's possible to see Pikes Peak quite clearly, what with the moon shining on the snow and causing the contrast of white against the dark sky. I love that.

I don't love other things that are going on currently. But there's not a lot that I can do about it, conflict-resolver though I try to be. (Conflict-avoider is more like it.)

You know, it'd be a lot easier to apply for things like grad school if I didn't have to get recommendations. For some reason, that's what's holding me back. That and the fact that I don't know if I really want to leave again, and leave whatever I've built up here in the last 8 months. (Has it really been eight months since I graduated? Really? Man.) (I'm not sure when the exact date was. Is it bad that I can't remember what day I graduated from college? Aside from "Sunday". Maybe it was the 19th. Ah, no, 18th. I just checked. I graduated from high school May 19. I remember that. Probably because we had started that year on August 19, and first semester ended December 19, so it was all even and exact, and I liked that a lot.)

Anyway. I'm ridiculous sometimes about some things.

But you know what? I love Michael Buble's version of Come Fly With Me. It's just awesome. Sigh. He's so great.

Things are just weird. Life is weird. One minute I feel like, wow, I'm not doing too badly with all of this. Go me. I feel almost (but not really at all) on top of the world, like maybe things are making sense and such. And then two seconds later, I realize that I had it all wrong and nothing makes sense and I'm failing at life. I guess the reality is somewhere in between. This might be an interesting week, though. Who knows.

Also: CDs I've decided I need to get next time I have some extra cash (so, in like twenty years or so) (and, yes, they're all movie scores): Saving Private Ryan, Glory, Jurassic Park, ET, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter. (Notice a common theme there, with one exception?) Anyway. First, there's student loans to pay off. And soon a large oral surgery bill. Yay! Who knows what else will come up. At least Christmas is done and paid off.

I did go to the philharmonic last night. But luckily I found someone who wanted to go with me, which was fantastically terrific. We got the cheapest seats possible, so we ended up being pretty much as high up and as far back as possible. There was one row behind us. (But a few rows in front of us, for several rows, were basically empty for some reason. I don't get it.) I got to hear Fanfare for the Common Man live and in person, and man I love that song. Overplayed though it may be. (There's a reason that certain sayings are cliched, and certain songs get played a lot. They fit. And they're good.) And then some other Aaron Copland songs, like ten short ones, with a singer. That part was...eh. But then Adagio for Strings was after that. Oh man. I love love love that song. It's so emotional. It's impossible to listen to and not get chills and/or tears when they hit the climax. And then the starkly contrasting silence immediately following, before the end. (Of course, some people don't seem to realize that there's a silence there for a reason, and one person actually started to clap during that silence. Kinda ruined the mood a little bit. I mean, yeah, it brings up a lot of emotion, but hold your applause, please.) Man that song is great. And after intermission was a Dvorak piece, some symphony in some key, aka "From the New World" or something like that. I recognized it, or at least a few of the four movements. That's a great song too. Anyway, all in all an enjoyable evening. Followed by a view of Pikes Peak once we got outside in its aforementioned beautiful night glory.

Anyhoo. Tomorrow is another day, start of another week, weeks that stretch out ad infinitum before me. I wish the real world were like school with breaks here and there. I suppose that's what vacation is for, but Americans aren't known for our dedication to vacations like the Europeans. Who knows when I'll get to take a vacation. Vacations tend to take money, though. Although, I have a friend (the same one who went with me to the philharmonic, actually) who had a week off in October and spent it exploring Colorado, for pretty cheaply I think. That'd be super tons-of-fun. I love the mountains, and I'd love to see more of them. I'm getting sick of living in a city, really. Even if some people don't consider Colorado Springs much of a city. It's much too much a city for my liking. I am so not a city girl. Too bad I've never really lived anywhere but a city...this is why I have to go out and find some rancher in a mountainy area to marry. Unfortunately, I don't tend to run into a lot of ranchers...haha.

So yeah. Anyway. Life is funny, and strange, and weird, and confusing, and impossible, and delightful, and crazy, and very, very finite. (Souls are a different matter, at least as far as the finiteness goes...)

Well, enough of this.

Edit: I just realized/noticed that I've been putting 2008 in my journal still. And I only realized it because I just wrote 2009 and it felt weird, like I hadn't really done it at all yet. Turns out, I hadn't. Not in the four other entries I've written since we entered this new year. Weird.