Today was bound to be good, because it's the Feast of the Annunciation! In other words, the day we celebrate Christ becoming flesh. (Because he did not, contrary to popular belief, become flesh on Christmas day. He was born on Christmas day. He became man nine months prior, when he was conceived. And nine months prior just happens to be today.) The day Mary said YES.
Anyway. As an aside, I have no idea why today is not a Holy Day of Obligation. It really should be. But then, I think we should have a lot more HDOs than we currently do. (Of course, this is coming from someone who tries to go to daily Mass every day, so I guess it wouldn't be at all disruptive to my schedule if they made more HDOs. I'm also of the opinion, though, that people need more Mass, not less.)
So, it was good. I even got almost a full night's sleep last night. Amazing what that can do for a morning. I should do that more often.
What else was good about today...well, there are trees blooming around campus and work. Pretty pink blossoms. I think some of the trees are the same as some we have around campus at ND, which I do miss. I'm pretty sure I decided last spring that Colorado has kind of lame springs. Definitely less flowery. Less blossoming tree-y. Maybe I just didn't notice, who knows. All I know is, the trees around here are starting to blossom, and I love it. And there are flowers blooming on campus. And daffodils! Lots of pretty yellow daffodils! all around the building at work. I decided today that daffodils are added to my list of favorite flowers. (Now the list includes lilacs, cactus flowers, and daffodils. And pretty much any wild alpine/mountain flower you can find in Colorado.)
So there was that.
Other things weren't so great today, but whatever. Life's not perfect. Unpleasant things happen.
I got that book I've been waiting for today. It was waiting for me when I got home, which was nice. I started reading it. Excited to continue. I'm seriously in love with the pandora station I made. I mean, it makes me giddy with excitement when the Back to the Future movie score comes on. Or the Ten Commandments score. (Speaking of which, I'm bummed that they play that movie on TV every year the night of the Easter Vigil. I never get to watch the whole thing. I love that movie.) And of course anything John Williams. Or Braveheart. Or lots of other great ones. LOVE IT.
And tomorrow is Friday. I have class in the morning (I actually get to "sleep in" tomorrow, since normally I wake up to leave the house by 7:30 to be at work at 8, but don't have to leave until 8:45 or so tomorrow), then I'll hit up Mass and do a couple hours of work. Then hopefully I can get myself down to the mall, maybe see if I can find a cute, cheap dress for Easter, and buy some food supplies for Saturday. I'm waking up early on Saturday (well, early for a Saturday) to bring breakfast food to the second years who are taking their last section of comprehensive exams. (They had the first two sections last Saturday, and we put together a lunch for them between the two sections.) I'm in charge of it this week, so I'll supplement and fill in whatever people didn't sign up for that we decided would be good to have. Of course, getting myself down to the shopping area will require the use of a car, so I hope one of my roommates won't be using one of their cars in the afternoon. I suppose at worst I could always take the metro one stop up and then just have to walk the rest of the way, which isn't far - but tomorrow's supposed to be lousy weather, and I'd rather not have to walk back to the metro with lots of bags. Ah, well, we'll see. It'll work out.
Life is good. And things work out. God's pretty good about that.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Life really IS
You guys, I'm so happy these days. It's crazy. Ridiculous. I have nothing to be that happy about, but I just so am. It's wonderful! And it's the little things, too.
Such as:
-The Pandora station I just created. (Hint: I titled it EPIC Movie Scores.)
-That book I ordered at the beginning of the month? It finally got shipped today! I should have it in my hot little hands by Friday. I may or may not be reading it all weekend. (Not that I expect it to have all the answers. Or any answers, really. How can one person's journey answer questions about the journey God has me on? But I'm excited to read it. I'm sure at the least it'll have some pearls of wisdom.)
-LOST tonight was great.
-Flowers and trees are blooming! Weather was kinda icky today, a little rain, sorta cold, some wind, but all in all not too bad. (And apparently they're getting a blizzard back home right now. Not that I'd mind a blizzard. But spring/March in most places that aren't Colorado typically doesn't mean snow and blizzard. In Colorado, it definitely does.)
-Yesterday, I went to Mass at the USCCB chapel instead of the Shrine Crypt as per my usual routine. Why, you ask? Well, because Cardinal O'Malley was celebrating. And Cardinal DiNardo was concelebrating. Along with 15-20 bishops. And imagine my surprise when I went into the rather small chapel before Mass, when the only people in there were a few bishops praying before they went to get vested, and lo and behold, there's Bishop Sheridan! (Bishop of Colorado Springs.) Totally not expecting that. I smiled at him when he was walking out to get vested, but I'm not sure if he recognized me. Probably not. I mean, I've met and talked to him a number of times, but he's the bishop, and I'm just me. So then that Mass was awesome, because how often do you go to Mass where the bishops outnumber the lay in attendance? Yeah. Not very often. At least, I don't. I love the bishops! Woo. And then this morning, when I walked into the USCCB cafeteria to get some coffee, there were like ten bishops in line getting breakfast. Including, you guessed it, Bishop Sheridan! I chickened out saying hi to him. I should have. Ah, well.
-Working at the Bishops' Conference is awesome. (But also, sometimes, kind of depressing, because we're deeply into the health care stuff, and it gets depressing sometimes reading all these purportedly Catholic groups, publications, etc that only serve to harm the Church and lead people astray from it...)
-Did I mention flowers? And spring? And birds chirping? Well, that.
-Easter is just around the corner!
-Everything else I haven't mentioned.
-Everything I have.
Daily Mass, people. That's all I know. I don't have any big reasons to be happy. (Thankfully, I don't have any big reasons to be sad, either.) God is there. God is here. God. God, who sent his son to die. For us. To bring us back to him. For no reason other than that he loves us. I mean, how crazy is that? How amazing is that? How beautiful is that? I love the Triduum more than any other days of the year. We remember Christ's death and resurrection every Sunday, of course, and then some. But at the Triduum, it's so much more real. It's so beautiful. It just is SO. And I can't wait.
Life. It's good. It's beautiful. It's tough. It's confusing. But it's there. It's what we have. It's what we need to get to God. However long or short that takes, however long God decides we need here. It's great. I just pray that when times get really tough, I can remember that God is still there, still loves me, still wants me with him, close to him, trusting him. I hope I never get tested like Job, but I pray that if I do - even if it's on a much smaller scale - I can keep faith and trust in God like he did.
Even in the tiny trials. Like facing the prospect of having to get an ear lavage again. (Grrr.)
Now, if only God could make it so I could run better on 5 or 6 hours of sleep...
(PS: Um, also, things are kind of depressing right now on a national scale. But everyone knows that. And like I've heard mentioned before, we all know who wins in the end. We're going to lose a lot of battles. But we know who wins "the last battle," so to speak. (Yay CS Lewis! That's a beautiful book, by the way, if you haven't yet read it.))
Such as:
-The Pandora station I just created. (Hint: I titled it EPIC Movie Scores.)
-That book I ordered at the beginning of the month? It finally got shipped today! I should have it in my hot little hands by Friday. I may or may not be reading it all weekend. (Not that I expect it to have all the answers. Or any answers, really. How can one person's journey answer questions about the journey God has me on? But I'm excited to read it. I'm sure at the least it'll have some pearls of wisdom.)
-LOST tonight was great.
-Flowers and trees are blooming! Weather was kinda icky today, a little rain, sorta cold, some wind, but all in all not too bad. (And apparently they're getting a blizzard back home right now. Not that I'd mind a blizzard. But spring/March in most places that aren't Colorado typically doesn't mean snow and blizzard. In Colorado, it definitely does.)
-Yesterday, I went to Mass at the USCCB chapel instead of the Shrine Crypt as per my usual routine. Why, you ask? Well, because Cardinal O'Malley was celebrating. And Cardinal DiNardo was concelebrating. Along with 15-20 bishops. And imagine my surprise when I went into the rather small chapel before Mass, when the only people in there were a few bishops praying before they went to get vested, and lo and behold, there's Bishop Sheridan! (Bishop of Colorado Springs.) Totally not expecting that. I smiled at him when he was walking out to get vested, but I'm not sure if he recognized me. Probably not. I mean, I've met and talked to him a number of times, but he's the bishop, and I'm just me. So then that Mass was awesome, because how often do you go to Mass where the bishops outnumber the lay in attendance? Yeah. Not very often. At least, I don't. I love the bishops! Woo. And then this morning, when I walked into the USCCB cafeteria to get some coffee, there were like ten bishops in line getting breakfast. Including, you guessed it, Bishop Sheridan! I chickened out saying hi to him. I should have. Ah, well.
-Working at the Bishops' Conference is awesome. (But also, sometimes, kind of depressing, because we're deeply into the health care stuff, and it gets depressing sometimes reading all these purportedly Catholic groups, publications, etc that only serve to harm the Church and lead people astray from it...)
-Did I mention flowers? And spring? And birds chirping? Well, that.
-Easter is just around the corner!
-Everything else I haven't mentioned.
-Everything I have.
Daily Mass, people. That's all I know. I don't have any big reasons to be happy. (Thankfully, I don't have any big reasons to be sad, either.) God is there. God is here. God. God, who sent his son to die. For us. To bring us back to him. For no reason other than that he loves us. I mean, how crazy is that? How amazing is that? How beautiful is that? I love the Triduum more than any other days of the year. We remember Christ's death and resurrection every Sunday, of course, and then some. But at the Triduum, it's so much more real. It's so beautiful. It just is SO. And I can't wait.
Life. It's good. It's beautiful. It's tough. It's confusing. But it's there. It's what we have. It's what we need to get to God. However long or short that takes, however long God decides we need here. It's great. I just pray that when times get really tough, I can remember that God is still there, still loves me, still wants me with him, close to him, trusting him. I hope I never get tested like Job, but I pray that if I do - even if it's on a much smaller scale - I can keep faith and trust in God like he did.
Even in the tiny trials. Like facing the prospect of having to get an ear lavage again. (Grrr.)
Now, if only God could make it so I could run better on 5 or 6 hours of sleep...
(PS: Um, also, things are kind of depressing right now on a national scale. But everyone knows that. And like I've heard mentioned before, we all know who wins in the end. We're going to lose a lot of battles. But we know who wins "the last battle," so to speak. (Yay CS Lewis! That's a beautiful book, by the way, if you haven't yet read it.))
Monday, March 22, 2010
New lappytop
My new laptop was sitting waiting for me when I got home this afternoon. It seems ok. It's a bit bigger, from side to side, than I might have preferred, but on the plus it's lighter and thinner in other directions, so I guess that makes up for it. I do intend to buy a laptop protector, though, because I have a feeling that led in part to the demise of Mr. Toshiba.
I would like to thank especially xmarks.com, which is awesome. I discovered it over spring break when trying to figure out how to import/export my firefox bookmarks so that I could save them somewhere and put them on the new laptop I was going to get. Xmarks keeps all your bookmarks online, AND you can also synthesize those with any computer you have. So now all my bookmarks are up there in the bookmark place, and it also put all the bookmarked sites I have on the toolbar back there, too, which I wasn't expecting. (I was sad because I couldn't remember all the ones I had there on my other laptop. Which is once again dead. As of last night, anyway.)
So that's pretty nice. Now I just have to wait to get my parents' external hard drive so I can have all my pictures and music on this laptop. Other than that, I guess I'm satisfied. I mean, we'll see. I'll be happy if this lasts at least a couple of years. OR until I hit the lottery. That would be ok with me too.
A lot of the newness of this laptop also has to do with Windows 7, since I had Vista on the other one. But 7 has a cool option for backgrounds that change periodically. Since I don't have any of my own pictures for a background right now, I picked one that has some pretty landscape pictures. It's pretty cool.
So. There you go.
I would like to thank especially xmarks.com, which is awesome. I discovered it over spring break when trying to figure out how to import/export my firefox bookmarks so that I could save them somewhere and put them on the new laptop I was going to get. Xmarks keeps all your bookmarks online, AND you can also synthesize those with any computer you have. So now all my bookmarks are up there in the bookmark place, and it also put all the bookmarked sites I have on the toolbar back there, too, which I wasn't expecting. (I was sad because I couldn't remember all the ones I had there on my other laptop. Which is once again dead. As of last night, anyway.)
So that's pretty nice. Now I just have to wait to get my parents' external hard drive so I can have all my pictures and music on this laptop. Other than that, I guess I'm satisfied. I mean, we'll see. I'll be happy if this lasts at least a couple of years. OR until I hit the lottery. That would be ok with me too.
A lot of the newness of this laptop also has to do with Windows 7, since I had Vista on the other one. But 7 has a cool option for backgrounds that change periodically. Since I don't have any of my own pictures for a background right now, I picked one that has some pretty landscape pictures. It's pretty cool.
So. There you go.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
It's like, you know, whatever.
When was the last time I wrote? I don't remember. (Does anyone even bother checking this anymore? I have no idea.)
I got back to DC after an interesting extra 9 or so hours spent in Chicago, thanks to United's wonderful planning which resulted in me landing at O'Hare on time, but then having to sit on the runway for 40 minutes before pulling into our gate because another plane was there. By the time we pulled in, were let off the plane, and I had gotten my gate-checked bag (since it was a smaller plane that requires gate-checking bigger carryons), I saw on the departures screen in the terminal that my next flight was already closed. But it was just after 9pm, and the flight didn't leave until 9:10, so I fruitlessly ran through O'Hare's frustrating large United terminal(s) (by the way - there are few things more frustrating when you're trying to get to your next gate as quickly as possible than passing shop after restaurant after Starbucks, with a smattering of gates here and there, instead of having all the gates near each other in an orderly line), only to get to my next gate and be one of several people who had missed it, and were then told to go back through their large maze of gates, shops, and hallways to their customer service desk. To stand, as it turned out, in a line behind hundreds of other people who had also been seriously inconvenienced by United's ineptitude that night. Three hours later, I finally got to the front of the desk, basically the last person in line (because by that point they had opened up other makeshift customer service desks at gates near the main one, but I fell victim to the "changing lanes in traffic" Murphy's law and had gone to the end of the first extra desk they opened, and of course five minutes later they opened another that, had I still been in the main line, I might have gotten a better spot). After listening to people ahead of me in line have to settle for confirmed flights on Tuesday, with possibilities of standbys on Monday, I wasn't too optimistic about my chances of getting back on Monday - especially since a) I had called United early on in my line-waiting to see if they would get me on a flight and then I'd just have to wait in line for a hotel voucher, and the lady I talked to told me the best she could do would be in the afternoon, but she couldn't do that because...well, I didn't really understand her reasoning, but she said I had to stand in line and do it at the airport. Whatever.; and b) someone I was talking to in line said that he had been talking to someone else going to DC and she was told there was nothing until Monday afternoon at the earliest. But I told the lady who I was, where I was going, and she told me in a rather apologetic voice that she could get me a 6am the next morning to Dulles (I was flying into Reagan originally). Granted, I didn't ask to see what other options I could get, but I don't know why anyone would have a problem with a guaranteed seat at 6am to a different airport in the same city, when lots of other people couldn't even get out until Tuesday. Maybe if they had a car parked at the original airport. Even still. I was like, that's fine. She mentioned something about rush hour (it got in at 8:45), but if my other options were to get in even later, I don't know why that would be a huge deterrent.
So anyway, instead of sitting there and trying to figure out what other options I might have, I just said yes please, and she got me the ticket, and a hotel voucher, a meal voucher, and I went on my merry way. Well, not so merry, but at least glad to be getting out the next morning. (It took me approximately five minutes for the whole exchange. All night I was watching people who were at the various desks for upwards of 15-30 minutes. I have no idea what they were doing that would take that long. I realize obviously it was easier for me since apparently it wasn't hard to get me a seat, but seriously. I do sort of wish I had asked for a ticket voucher for another flight, but I'm not confrontational enough for that. Especially at midnight, when waiting in line for three hours.) I went to where I thought the lady had told me to go to catch the hotel shuttle, but after standing there for about 15 minutes (with another girl who I had been in line with), some cab driver told us we were in the wrong spot. So we headed over to where we were supposed to be, and waited some more with a bunch of other people (which made more sense, since there was no one else where we were, and there were a WHOLE lot of people who also presumably had to catch shuttles to their United-provided hotels). By the time I got to the hotel and checked in it was almost 1am. Fun. I was planning on catching the 4am shuttle back, since there was no way I was going to miss my flight the next morning and you never know how security might be, so I didn't want to risk the 4:30am. (Of course, as it was, I'm sure it would have been fine, but I like leaving lots of room for error when traveling. Hence why the original 55-minute layover in Chicago had been making me a little nervous ever since I bought the tickets.) By the time I was settled in my room and whatnot, it was after 1:30, and I had set my alarm and scheduled a wake-up call for 3:45. (The guy who answered, when I told him, said "That doesn't give you much time." Thanks, hotel guy, that's a very helpful statement - I really had no idea. I thought two hours was plenty of time! To be fair, he did say that he'd have coffee down in the lobby, "and you're gonna need some.") But with all that, and sleeping in a hotel room (not my favorite thing), by myself (even less of a favorite thing - hotel rooms can be creepy!), knowing I had to wake up in less than two hours...well, I couldn't fall asleep. I think I managed to doze off approximately twenty minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Always fun.
So, anyway, I did get downstairs pretty much right as the shuttle got there, so that was good (although there were several of us who apparently missed the memo that we were supposed to tell him what airline we were flying from, which resulted in us having to walk from the C terminal back to the A terminal - kinda a long walk, especially when you weren't planning on having to walk at all just to get to the correct place for security and whatnot). Once I was past security, I saw a Starbucks and made a beeline for it. I had a $15 voucher that I could only use in one place, and darn it, I was going to use as much of it as I could at that Starbucks. One venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte, overpriced bottle of water, blueberry muffin, and rather disappointing cheese danish later, and I think I got pretty close. Although as I got close to my gate, I passed a cafe thing that I sort of wish I had used the voucher on instead, as I probably could have gotten something more substantial/possibly healthier. And then, ha, there was a Starbucks right at my gate, too, as it turned out. But you never know where you'll find things in airports. Anyway. It was worth it if only for the coffee and the water I got. (Oh man, I was so thirsty by the time I got to the hotel, since all I had on the first flight was a cup and a half of coffee, and the water fountain that was right next to my customer service line wasn't working, so I hadn't had anything to drink for a good 8 or more hours. I bought a $4 bottle of water in a vending machine by the check-in at the hotel. Ridiculous, but so good.)
Our flight was late leaving (I was so happy, I had a window!), but I didn't care. And we got there practically on time anyway. I never know how they manage that. If they can do it so much shorter than scheduled when they leave late, why can't they do that all the time? Anyway. I slept practically the whole flight, which never happens. And then from Dulles to my house it took almost 2 hours, which is somehow longer than it took to get from Chicago to DC. And then I slept for four hours. And my laptop died again. (And hasn't shown signs of life until, randomly, it decided to turn on tonight. New one is getting here on Monday, though, which I hope treats me better than this one did.) And I cleaned my room and did some laundry. And then it was time to go to bed again.
So this week has been wacky, for a number of reasons. Just...weird. And my schedule's been all off. One of my classes was cancelled Tuesday, too, which didn't help. It hasn't been bad, just weird. I like routine. This week wasn't routine. And my laptop was dead, so I felt very disconnected as I didn't want to mooch my roommates' other than a couple of times just to check email quickly, so I've only had access at school and work. But, you know, this week, it's over. And the weather's been fantastic. And today is spring!
And funny thing that occurred to me in the airport in Houston on my way to the Springs at the beginning of break: you know that Bible verse that talks about being faithful in little things, to know that you can be faithful in the big things? (It's Luke 16:10 - "The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones.") Well, so when I was halfway between my arriving gate and my departing gate, I realized I had lost my phone. I knew I had it when we landed in Houston, so it was somewhere around there. I said a prayer to St. Anthony (my goodness I love him!), and then just kept asking God to help me find it. Well, of course, I found it - I got to the gate where I had landed, and there were two women there, one of whom was on the phone the other was playing with a cell phone. After a minute I saw the cell phone, which was blue, the woman looked at me and asked "Are you Susan?" and I, so relieved, said "Yes!" I must have left it on my seat (hence how she knew my name). And she asked if I was going to Colorado Springs so I guess she had my itinerary there. Anyway. I had my phone back, yay. And I just had to laugh, because of course I had it back. Because God really is faithful. I mean, I guess it sounds silly to say that now that I'm writing it, since obviously God doesn't answer yes to all our prayers. (Case in point: he sure didn't answer yes to me making my connecting flight in Chicago the next weekend.) But he really shows me that he can be trustworthy - no, is trustworthy - in those little things in my life, and through that it helps me know, believe, and have faith that I can trust him with the bigger things in my life.
I'm at such peace right now about things. I mean, I have no idea what's going on, big picture. I don't even know what's going on medium picture. But I know that God will guide me through it all and his plan is there. I just have to learn to roll with the punches. That might mean staying in DC through June to finish out my internship here, then maybe going back home for a couple of months either to be a bum or maybe to find a temp job (which will still allow, I hope, the opportunity for some good hiking and mountain-climbing). It might mean staying here through the summer. Or going home in May. Who the heck knows. The end.
But not really the end. (It's only just the beginning. Hahaa. No. But seriously.)
The only other thing I want to say is, I've been reading a lot of Catholic news lately, and man, sometimes it can just be really depressing. Mostly, especially, reading things like the National Catholic Reporter. And seeing things like the Catholic Health Association, and that letter from a small percentage of nuns in the country (not, as they want you to think, ALL the nuns in America), supporting the health care bill. And Nancy Pelosi in general. Just, all these Catholic organizations and people who seem to take no end of delight in leading Catholics away from the bishops, and the Pope, and true Catholicism and Catholic teaching. It makes me so sad. At the same time, I know that this is a tough time for the Church, but also that it's a great time - young Catholics are among the most traditional and faithful and orthodox Catholics, which only means good things to come. It just takes awhile for all the fruit to ripen. But still. Right now, things are depressing sometimes. But it's ok. Because you know what? God's in charge. And he won't let his Church die. He's guided it through tough times before, and even tougher times than now. We'll be ok.
God. He's really wonderful, you know? (And he still loves me, even though I'm so very very terrible to him. Even though I ignore him. Even though I disobey him. Even though I'm mean to his other children, who also happen to be my brothers and sisters. He still loves me through it all. How amazing is that?)
I got back to DC after an interesting extra 9 or so hours spent in Chicago, thanks to United's wonderful planning which resulted in me landing at O'Hare on time, but then having to sit on the runway for 40 minutes before pulling into our gate because another plane was there. By the time we pulled in, were let off the plane, and I had gotten my gate-checked bag (since it was a smaller plane that requires gate-checking bigger carryons), I saw on the departures screen in the terminal that my next flight was already closed. But it was just after 9pm, and the flight didn't leave until 9:10, so I fruitlessly ran through O'Hare's frustrating large United terminal(s) (by the way - there are few things more frustrating when you're trying to get to your next gate as quickly as possible than passing shop after restaurant after Starbucks, with a smattering of gates here and there, instead of having all the gates near each other in an orderly line), only to get to my next gate and be one of several people who had missed it, and were then told to go back through their large maze of gates, shops, and hallways to their customer service desk. To stand, as it turned out, in a line behind hundreds of other people who had also been seriously inconvenienced by United's ineptitude that night. Three hours later, I finally got to the front of the desk, basically the last person in line (because by that point they had opened up other makeshift customer service desks at gates near the main one, but I fell victim to the "changing lanes in traffic" Murphy's law and had gone to the end of the first extra desk they opened, and of course five minutes later they opened another that, had I still been in the main line, I might have gotten a better spot). After listening to people ahead of me in line have to settle for confirmed flights on Tuesday, with possibilities of standbys on Monday, I wasn't too optimistic about my chances of getting back on Monday - especially since a) I had called United early on in my line-waiting to see if they would get me on a flight and then I'd just have to wait in line for a hotel voucher, and the lady I talked to told me the best she could do would be in the afternoon, but she couldn't do that because...well, I didn't really understand her reasoning, but she said I had to stand in line and do it at the airport. Whatever.; and b) someone I was talking to in line said that he had been talking to someone else going to DC and she was told there was nothing until Monday afternoon at the earliest. But I told the lady who I was, where I was going, and she told me in a rather apologetic voice that she could get me a 6am the next morning to Dulles (I was flying into Reagan originally). Granted, I didn't ask to see what other options I could get, but I don't know why anyone would have a problem with a guaranteed seat at 6am to a different airport in the same city, when lots of other people couldn't even get out until Tuesday. Maybe if they had a car parked at the original airport. Even still. I was like, that's fine. She mentioned something about rush hour (it got in at 8:45), but if my other options were to get in even later, I don't know why that would be a huge deterrent.
So anyway, instead of sitting there and trying to figure out what other options I might have, I just said yes please, and she got me the ticket, and a hotel voucher, a meal voucher, and I went on my merry way. Well, not so merry, but at least glad to be getting out the next morning. (It took me approximately five minutes for the whole exchange. All night I was watching people who were at the various desks for upwards of 15-30 minutes. I have no idea what they were doing that would take that long. I realize obviously it was easier for me since apparently it wasn't hard to get me a seat, but seriously. I do sort of wish I had asked for a ticket voucher for another flight, but I'm not confrontational enough for that. Especially at midnight, when waiting in line for three hours.) I went to where I thought the lady had told me to go to catch the hotel shuttle, but after standing there for about 15 minutes (with another girl who I had been in line with), some cab driver told us we were in the wrong spot. So we headed over to where we were supposed to be, and waited some more with a bunch of other people (which made more sense, since there was no one else where we were, and there were a WHOLE lot of people who also presumably had to catch shuttles to their United-provided hotels). By the time I got to the hotel and checked in it was almost 1am. Fun. I was planning on catching the 4am shuttle back, since there was no way I was going to miss my flight the next morning and you never know how security might be, so I didn't want to risk the 4:30am. (Of course, as it was, I'm sure it would have been fine, but I like leaving lots of room for error when traveling. Hence why the original 55-minute layover in Chicago had been making me a little nervous ever since I bought the tickets.) By the time I was settled in my room and whatnot, it was after 1:30, and I had set my alarm and scheduled a wake-up call for 3:45. (The guy who answered, when I told him, said "That doesn't give you much time." Thanks, hotel guy, that's a very helpful statement - I really had no idea. I thought two hours was plenty of time! To be fair, he did say that he'd have coffee down in the lobby, "and you're gonna need some.") But with all that, and sleeping in a hotel room (not my favorite thing), by myself (even less of a favorite thing - hotel rooms can be creepy!), knowing I had to wake up in less than two hours...well, I couldn't fall asleep. I think I managed to doze off approximately twenty minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Always fun.
So, anyway, I did get downstairs pretty much right as the shuttle got there, so that was good (although there were several of us who apparently missed the memo that we were supposed to tell him what airline we were flying from, which resulted in us having to walk from the C terminal back to the A terminal - kinda a long walk, especially when you weren't planning on having to walk at all just to get to the correct place for security and whatnot). Once I was past security, I saw a Starbucks and made a beeline for it. I had a $15 voucher that I could only use in one place, and darn it, I was going to use as much of it as I could at that Starbucks. One venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte, overpriced bottle of water, blueberry muffin, and rather disappointing cheese danish later, and I think I got pretty close. Although as I got close to my gate, I passed a cafe thing that I sort of wish I had used the voucher on instead, as I probably could have gotten something more substantial/possibly healthier. And then, ha, there was a Starbucks right at my gate, too, as it turned out. But you never know where you'll find things in airports. Anyway. It was worth it if only for the coffee and the water I got. (Oh man, I was so thirsty by the time I got to the hotel, since all I had on the first flight was a cup and a half of coffee, and the water fountain that was right next to my customer service line wasn't working, so I hadn't had anything to drink for a good 8 or more hours. I bought a $4 bottle of water in a vending machine by the check-in at the hotel. Ridiculous, but so good.)
Our flight was late leaving (I was so happy, I had a window!), but I didn't care. And we got there practically on time anyway. I never know how they manage that. If they can do it so much shorter than scheduled when they leave late, why can't they do that all the time? Anyway. I slept practically the whole flight, which never happens. And then from Dulles to my house it took almost 2 hours, which is somehow longer than it took to get from Chicago to DC. And then I slept for four hours. And my laptop died again. (And hasn't shown signs of life until, randomly, it decided to turn on tonight. New one is getting here on Monday, though, which I hope treats me better than this one did.) And I cleaned my room and did some laundry. And then it was time to go to bed again.
So this week has been wacky, for a number of reasons. Just...weird. And my schedule's been all off. One of my classes was cancelled Tuesday, too, which didn't help. It hasn't been bad, just weird. I like routine. This week wasn't routine. And my laptop was dead, so I felt very disconnected as I didn't want to mooch my roommates' other than a couple of times just to check email quickly, so I've only had access at school and work. But, you know, this week, it's over. And the weather's been fantastic. And today is spring!
And funny thing that occurred to me in the airport in Houston on my way to the Springs at the beginning of break: you know that Bible verse that talks about being faithful in little things, to know that you can be faithful in the big things? (It's Luke 16:10 - "The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones.") Well, so when I was halfway between my arriving gate and my departing gate, I realized I had lost my phone. I knew I had it when we landed in Houston, so it was somewhere around there. I said a prayer to St. Anthony (my goodness I love him!), and then just kept asking God to help me find it. Well, of course, I found it - I got to the gate where I had landed, and there were two women there, one of whom was on the phone the other was playing with a cell phone. After a minute I saw the cell phone, which was blue, the woman looked at me and asked "Are you Susan?" and I, so relieved, said "Yes!" I must have left it on my seat (hence how she knew my name). And she asked if I was going to Colorado Springs so I guess she had my itinerary there. Anyway. I had my phone back, yay. And I just had to laugh, because of course I had it back. Because God really is faithful. I mean, I guess it sounds silly to say that now that I'm writing it, since obviously God doesn't answer yes to all our prayers. (Case in point: he sure didn't answer yes to me making my connecting flight in Chicago the next weekend.) But he really shows me that he can be trustworthy - no, is trustworthy - in those little things in my life, and through that it helps me know, believe, and have faith that I can trust him with the bigger things in my life.
I'm at such peace right now about things. I mean, I have no idea what's going on, big picture. I don't even know what's going on medium picture. But I know that God will guide me through it all and his plan is there. I just have to learn to roll with the punches. That might mean staying in DC through June to finish out my internship here, then maybe going back home for a couple of months either to be a bum or maybe to find a temp job (which will still allow, I hope, the opportunity for some good hiking and mountain-climbing). It might mean staying here through the summer. Or going home in May. Who the heck knows. The end.
But not really the end. (It's only just the beginning. Hahaa. No. But seriously.)
The only other thing I want to say is, I've been reading a lot of Catholic news lately, and man, sometimes it can just be really depressing. Mostly, especially, reading things like the National Catholic Reporter. And seeing things like the Catholic Health Association, and that letter from a small percentage of nuns in the country (not, as they want you to think, ALL the nuns in America), supporting the health care bill. And Nancy Pelosi in general. Just, all these Catholic organizations and people who seem to take no end of delight in leading Catholics away from the bishops, and the Pope, and true Catholicism and Catholic teaching. It makes me so sad. At the same time, I know that this is a tough time for the Church, but also that it's a great time - young Catholics are among the most traditional and faithful and orthodox Catholics, which only means good things to come. It just takes awhile for all the fruit to ripen. But still. Right now, things are depressing sometimes. But it's ok. Because you know what? God's in charge. And he won't let his Church die. He's guided it through tough times before, and even tougher times than now. We'll be ok.
God. He's really wonderful, you know? (And he still loves me, even though I'm so very very terrible to him. Even though I ignore him. Even though I disobey him. Even though I'm mean to his other children, who also happen to be my brothers and sisters. He still loves me through it all. How amazing is that?)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
One day, I'll update
I've been back in Colorado since Friday, and it's been quite nice, of course, as usual and expected. I leave Sunday afternoon.
My laptop is on the fritz. It died at the Houston airport while I was waiting out a layover, but I googled it when I got home and found a solution that seemed to fix it so it would turn on again. But then Tuesday night, same story. Only this time my fix didn't work. Finally today I got it to turn on (and actually stay on for longer than 30 seconds, which is pretty much the best I got - and only a couple of times - between when it shut off and this afternoon), long enough to copy my pictures from this semester to my parents' external hard drive. I've been using that as my back up and made sure everything was copied over there while I was home on Christmas break, so even if I hadn't been able to get this computer back up, I wouldn't have lost much. But anyway, it only stayed on a few minutes so I couldn't backup my music (which I hadn't done in awhile). I got it to turn on again tonight, though, and it's been on for awhile now. I got all my music copied over (or most of it, anyway - might have missed something, but probably nothing too important), whatever documents I've created that weren't already on the external, and I got my bookmarks into a folder and on there. And then I also signed up for this bookmarks backup thing that backs up your bookmarks online, which is awesome because they're accessible on any computer. I tried it on my parents', and I could get my bookmarks on there. So that's awesome.
Anyway. Blogging. I don't know. Just don't feel motivated to do it these days. Maybe I will someday soon. Who knows.
In the meantime, I have a lot of knitting to do. But I'm pretty sure I need to cool it on that and focus more (much more) on schoolwork. I mean, in case you didn't know, it's already mid-March. That means only a month and a half left in the semester. That's kinda crazy. So, while I have lots of projects in the queue, I might have to put them on hold until summer. Or just take a lot longer to do them. My primary vocation right now is student. Not, unfortunately, knitter.
And that's...that.
(Oh, and PS: Now I have to buy a new laptop. Of course, the fact that I got this thing on tonight and it's stayed on for a good two+ hours at this point is making me rethink that. But that's just what it wants me to do. Rethink until I talk myself out of buying a new computer and then BAM! I'll have a dead computer again, just like that. I haven't trusted this thing for awhile, really. But I hate spending money. Especially large amounts all at once. It's making me tempted to get the very cheapest laptop that I've been looking at. Because I have no money. And I don't want to spend it. Siiiiiiigh. Plus, everything having to do with this summer is making me all tense and stressed. Well, not really, but it easily could, because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. Gah. Oh well. It'll all work out. It'll be ok, somehow. It will.)
My laptop is on the fritz. It died at the Houston airport while I was waiting out a layover, but I googled it when I got home and found a solution that seemed to fix it so it would turn on again. But then Tuesday night, same story. Only this time my fix didn't work. Finally today I got it to turn on (and actually stay on for longer than 30 seconds, which is pretty much the best I got - and only a couple of times - between when it shut off and this afternoon), long enough to copy my pictures from this semester to my parents' external hard drive. I've been using that as my back up and made sure everything was copied over there while I was home on Christmas break, so even if I hadn't been able to get this computer back up, I wouldn't have lost much. But anyway, it only stayed on a few minutes so I couldn't backup my music (which I hadn't done in awhile). I got it to turn on again tonight, though, and it's been on for awhile now. I got all my music copied over (or most of it, anyway - might have missed something, but probably nothing too important), whatever documents I've created that weren't already on the external, and I got my bookmarks into a folder and on there. And then I also signed up for this bookmarks backup thing that backs up your bookmarks online, which is awesome because they're accessible on any computer. I tried it on my parents', and I could get my bookmarks on there. So that's awesome.
Anyway. Blogging. I don't know. Just don't feel motivated to do it these days. Maybe I will someday soon. Who knows.
In the meantime, I have a lot of knitting to do. But I'm pretty sure I need to cool it on that and focus more (much more) on schoolwork. I mean, in case you didn't know, it's already mid-March. That means only a month and a half left in the semester. That's kinda crazy. So, while I have lots of projects in the queue, I might have to put them on hold until summer. Or just take a lot longer to do them. My primary vocation right now is student. Not, unfortunately, knitter.
And that's...that.
(Oh, and PS: Now I have to buy a new laptop. Of course, the fact that I got this thing on tonight and it's stayed on for a good two+ hours at this point is making me rethink that. But that's just what it wants me to do. Rethink until I talk myself out of buying a new computer and then BAM! I'll have a dead computer again, just like that. I haven't trusted this thing for awhile, really. But I hate spending money. Especially large amounts all at once. It's making me tempted to get the very cheapest laptop that I've been looking at. Because I have no money. And I don't want to spend it. Siiiiiiigh. Plus, everything having to do with this summer is making me all tense and stressed. Well, not really, but it easily could, because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. Gah. Oh well. It'll all work out. It'll be ok, somehow. It will.)
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Positive
-That book I mentioned the other day? Now available on Amazon. Which means, if you're following me, that I can get it with free shipping. Because I don't have to buy from a Canadian publisher. Woot! I think I'll order it, maybe tomorrow. It'll still be 2-4 weeks before it ships, but that's ok.
-I had a lousy morning. I am not a morning person, in case you weren't aware. And some mornings are worse than others. Today was a bad one. I don't understand people who are talkative in the morning. Or who talk in the morning.Unfortunately, there are at least two people in my life who I see on a regular basis who are definitely more morning people than I am. Takes a lot of effort for me to remain pleasant, at least outwardly (and if you're not feeling it, outwardly is the place to start, and the rest of you can usually follow. Eventually, at least). Plus, eh, Tuesday morning, long day ahead, blah blah blah. So. This hasn't been positive up to now. But eventually I got over my grouchiness, and then I got to leave work and go to Mass which is always nice (I really do love the Crypt. And while the Basilica at ND will always have my heart, I've grown rather fond of the Shrine. Especially all their Marian shrines. Especially the one to Our Lady of Lourdes. But that's because I love her. And it's a nice, dark place. Very contemplative). On the walk from the Shrine to the building where my classes are (just across the lawn from the Shrine), I was thinking how nice it was outside. One of those days most people wouldn't consider "nice", exactly - overcast, a threat of rain or drizzle or some sort of precipitation which came later. But not too cold; at least, not at that point. And the best thing: I heard birds chirping as I was walking into the building! I heard the song of this one particular bird that always signifies spring to me. No idea what it is, but I just love it. So that was great.
After my afternoon class, I had about an hour 15 before my evening class so I went to confession which I'd been meaning to do for awhile. It had been far too long, and I'm flying on Friday and I dislike going on trips without having been to confession recently. Plus, I'm a terrible sinner. You know. That little detail. So I walk into the crypt, and I held the door open for these two little nuns who were walking out. As the second one passed me, she held out her hand and put something in mine, and said "This is for you" (except it was in some kind of accent which made it all the more awesome for some reason). It was just a little plastic keychain, on one side a painted picture of Blessed Maria Teresa of Jesus, and on the other side it just says "Carmelite Sisters" and their address. Nothing special. But something about it just made my day. Then, you know, confession, always good for the soul. And my evening class discussion was on IVF tonight, and we had some fantastic discussions about all sorts of stuff related to it. Really fascinating. Talking about stuff like that, realizing all the nuances that most people don't notice, or gloss over in favor of the emotional argument, or whatever, it just really gets me so excited to have the Church. Because, man. She is brilliant! Golly. It's great.
-Also, hey, you know what? I love knitting. I know I'm a little bit obsessed, and addicted, and I need to cut back because hello, I'm a student right now and can't just knit all the time that I'm not at work or in class; but really, it's been both the greatest and the worst thing for me this past year. Mostly the greatest. Such an oasis when I need relaxation. Also a time-waster (but only in the sense that I do it at the expense of not always doing my required reading which is far less interesting and seems far too unnecessary or inapplicable to anything). Overall, though, I think it's been really good for me. I know it's just a hobby, but it's amazing to have found something that I'm genuinely pretty good at. Even if I don't always admit it. I mean, I'm not perfect, and wouldn't have the confidence to sell my stuff or anything like that, but I can't describe how great it feels to take a bunch of yarn, put it on some needles, and in a certain number of hours, have a blanket, or a hat, or a scarf, or gloves, where before there was just yarn. I've finally found something in my life that I feel I can do well, and I want to put in the effort to improve and get better and learn new techniques. I can't even say that about studying theology and I've been doing that for years now. Oh well. You know, since the summer I've spent more money on knitting-related things (mostly yarn, and a few purchases of knitting needle sets) than anything else other than food, travel expenses, and...I don't know what else. Well, other living expenses, I guess. But besides those things, yeah, knitting has been my #1 money drain, I think. I mean, in that time I have made...at least five large-sized afghans, three or four or so baby blankets, five or so hats, a scarf, and a few other various little things here and there. With lots more yarn for lots more projects currently in the works. I love it. Best thing I could spend money on, I think. I just can't explain what knitting does for me. I don't think most people get it. (I mean, it's completely normal to me, but I get those weird "isn't knitting for 80-year-old women?" looks. And comments, from time to time. It's actually pretty funny. I can definitely handle being made fun of for knitting, because deep down, we all know it's just plain awesome.)
-That being said, I really do need to start curbing my over-enthusiasm for knitting projects. We're almost halfway through the semester, and if I have any hope for doing well this semester I need to get my butt into gear. Homework first, then knitting. One of my friends today said I should use knitting as a reward - for ever hour I read, I get to knit for fifteen minutes. (Or something along those lines.) It's just so hard when I have these projects I want to get done for people. But you know what, most knitting projects are colder-weather-related anyway, and it's practically spring already. Won't kill most of them to wait, right? I guess I do have one or two that are more time-sensitive and I'm planning for gifts...but eh. I have things I need to get done. Two 10-page papers due at the end of April. Seems far away now, but they'll sneak up on me, I know. So. Operation butt-in-gear is about to commence. Spring break will be equal parts knitting and researching for the good paper. Except it won't be, who am I kidding. I just have to get a lot of knitting out of my system over break. That's all there is to it.
-Speaking of: Spring break! Colorado in basically two days from now! Woohoo! Have I mentioned how excited I am about this? Because, um, I'm excited. I mean...goodness. Colorado is goodness! Family! Friends! Nutmeg! NATURE! Mmm. I just plain ol' can't wait. And I don't care that I'm lame and have never gone anywhere but home for spring break. I don't have the travel bug. I have the family bug. I have the "I'm from Colorado - why would I want to travel somewhere else?" bug. And I'm pretty sure that's ok. It's good to have roots, and to want to be near my family, and not to feel a need to relocate every other year. (Or ever, but God's not letting me stay in one place very long yet. Still holding tight to those roots, though!)
-One more thing:
Clockwise from top left: shortly after she came into our lives, when we were both pretty much strangers to each other; a few months later after we were both more comfortable with the relationship; this summer, when she was mine.
-I had a lousy morning. I am not a morning person, in case you weren't aware. And some mornings are worse than others. Today was a bad one. I don't understand people who are talkative in the morning. Or who talk in the morning.Unfortunately, there are at least two people in my life who I see on a regular basis who are definitely more morning people than I am. Takes a lot of effort for me to remain pleasant, at least outwardly (and if you're not feeling it, outwardly is the place to start, and the rest of you can usually follow. Eventually, at least). Plus, eh, Tuesday morning, long day ahead, blah blah blah. So. This hasn't been positive up to now. But eventually I got over my grouchiness, and then I got to leave work and go to Mass which is always nice (I really do love the Crypt. And while the Basilica at ND will always have my heart, I've grown rather fond of the Shrine. Especially all their Marian shrines. Especially the one to Our Lady of Lourdes. But that's because I love her. And it's a nice, dark place. Very contemplative). On the walk from the Shrine to the building where my classes are (just across the lawn from the Shrine), I was thinking how nice it was outside. One of those days most people wouldn't consider "nice", exactly - overcast, a threat of rain or drizzle or some sort of precipitation which came later. But not too cold; at least, not at that point. And the best thing: I heard birds chirping as I was walking into the building! I heard the song of this one particular bird that always signifies spring to me. No idea what it is, but I just love it. So that was great.
After my afternoon class, I had about an hour 15 before my evening class so I went to confession which I'd been meaning to do for awhile. It had been far too long, and I'm flying on Friday and I dislike going on trips without having been to confession recently. Plus, I'm a terrible sinner. You know. That little detail. So I walk into the crypt, and I held the door open for these two little nuns who were walking out. As the second one passed me, she held out her hand and put something in mine, and said "This is for you" (except it was in some kind of accent which made it all the more awesome for some reason). It was just a little plastic keychain, on one side a painted picture of Blessed Maria Teresa of Jesus, and on the other side it just says "Carmelite Sisters" and their address. Nothing special. But something about it just made my day. Then, you know, confession, always good for the soul. And my evening class discussion was on IVF tonight, and we had some fantastic discussions about all sorts of stuff related to it. Really fascinating. Talking about stuff like that, realizing all the nuances that most people don't notice, or gloss over in favor of the emotional argument, or whatever, it just really gets me so excited to have the Church. Because, man. She is brilliant! Golly. It's great.
-Also, hey, you know what? I love knitting. I know I'm a little bit obsessed, and addicted, and I need to cut back because hello, I'm a student right now and can't just knit all the time that I'm not at work or in class; but really, it's been both the greatest and the worst thing for me this past year. Mostly the greatest. Such an oasis when I need relaxation. Also a time-waster (but only in the sense that I do it at the expense of not always doing my required reading which is far less interesting and seems far too unnecessary or inapplicable to anything). Overall, though, I think it's been really good for me. I know it's just a hobby, but it's amazing to have found something that I'm genuinely pretty good at. Even if I don't always admit it. I mean, I'm not perfect, and wouldn't have the confidence to sell my stuff or anything like that, but I can't describe how great it feels to take a bunch of yarn, put it on some needles, and in a certain number of hours, have a blanket, or a hat, or a scarf, or gloves, where before there was just yarn. I've finally found something in my life that I feel I can do well, and I want to put in the effort to improve and get better and learn new techniques. I can't even say that about studying theology and I've been doing that for years now. Oh well. You know, since the summer I've spent more money on knitting-related things (mostly yarn, and a few purchases of knitting needle sets) than anything else other than food, travel expenses, and...I don't know what else. Well, other living expenses, I guess. But besides those things, yeah, knitting has been my #1 money drain, I think. I mean, in that time I have made...at least five large-sized afghans, three or four or so baby blankets, five or so hats, a scarf, and a few other various little things here and there. With lots more yarn for lots more projects currently in the works. I love it. Best thing I could spend money on, I think. I just can't explain what knitting does for me. I don't think most people get it. (I mean, it's completely normal to me, but I get those weird "isn't knitting for 80-year-old women?" looks. And comments, from time to time. It's actually pretty funny. I can definitely handle being made fun of for knitting, because deep down, we all know it's just plain awesome.)
-That being said, I really do need to start curbing my over-enthusiasm for knitting projects. We're almost halfway through the semester, and if I have any hope for doing well this semester I need to get my butt into gear. Homework first, then knitting. One of my friends today said I should use knitting as a reward - for ever hour I read, I get to knit for fifteen minutes. (Or something along those lines.) It's just so hard when I have these projects I want to get done for people. But you know what, most knitting projects are colder-weather-related anyway, and it's practically spring already. Won't kill most of them to wait, right? I guess I do have one or two that are more time-sensitive and I'm planning for gifts...but eh. I have things I need to get done. Two 10-page papers due at the end of April. Seems far away now, but they'll sneak up on me, I know. So. Operation butt-in-gear is about to commence. Spring break will be equal parts knitting and researching for the good paper. Except it won't be, who am I kidding. I just have to get a lot of knitting out of my system over break. That's all there is to it.
-Speaking of: Spring break! Colorado in basically two days from now! Woohoo! Have I mentioned how excited I am about this? Because, um, I'm excited. I mean...goodness. Colorado is goodness! Family! Friends! Nutmeg! NATURE! Mmm. I just plain ol' can't wait. And I don't care that I'm lame and have never gone anywhere but home for spring break. I don't have the travel bug. I have the family bug. I have the "I'm from Colorado - why would I want to travel somewhere else?" bug. And I'm pretty sure that's ok. It's good to have roots, and to want to be near my family, and not to feel a need to relocate every other year. (Or ever, but God's not letting me stay in one place very long yet. Still holding tight to those roots, though!)
-One more thing:
Clockwise from top left: shortly after she came into our lives, when we were both pretty much strangers to each other; a few months later after we were both more comfortable with the relationship; this summer, when she was mine.
And now this.
Man, I love that dog.
(hey, it's 3/2/10! That's pretty awesome! I love dates like that. mmm sequential numbers.)
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