Doctors

I've never been much of one to go to the doctor. Only when absolutely necessary. Luckily for me, this year (I guess mostly this school year), I've seen more doctors than I ever wanted to. And tomorrow I get to go again. Another check up for the lovely cyst I have. I'm a little nervous, all though I really don't think I need to be. Hopefully it'll be a quick and painless ultrasound (the only pain involved being a full and uncomfortable bladder), and they'll just determine a more specific course of action (maybe it will just end up being to take birth control for a few months and see how things go). Hopefully it won't be a "Oh, we should operate on this" or something drastic like that. I doubt that'll be the case, but you never know. I mean, I don't look forward to taking birth control pills, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to say I'd rather have some sort of surgery to deal with the problem. Unless that could guarantee that it won't come back. I don't necessarily have that guarantee with the birth control. So anyway. We'll see.

(We're supposed to get 5-8 inches of snow tonight, and a few more tomorrow. A part of me hopes that they'll for some reason have to cancel my appointment tomorrow. I like to postpone unpleasant things, you see. But that just means I'll have to go again another time. Although, I really don't want to drive around town in that much snow. Apparently for some reason this city sucks at clearing snow off the roads. Anyway. Whatever.)

To the people who sit behind/around me in various classes

Please please please don't talk during class. (And don't continue with what I'm sure are terribly important conversations when the teacher is obviously trying to start class. Nothing people discuss before class is so important that it can't be put on hold.) Not only is it disrespectful to the professor (who is trying to teach a class here, already), it's incredibly distracting for someone who has problems focusing on one person talking when she can hear bits and pieces of whispered conversations behind her. I am not paying $40,000 a year to go here so I can hear your thoughts on things that may or may not be related to class. As I don't want to be the person who turns around and shushes you (how old-lady would that make me seem?), I just have to trust that you'll all somehow find your way here to my blog and maybe...listen to me?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Thanks anyway.

March for Life post! (Sort of.)

So, I just clicked to try to make a new post, and it wasn't letting me! I was sad. But we're back now. And guess what? I finally uploaded my pictures from the past few weeks, so...soon there should be some on here, maybe. Or at least a link to view pictures.

Ok, I just spent a long time getting pictures onto my picasa page, and I even added captions! So go here for some of the fun. Perhaps tomorrow or sometime I'll make an accompanying post that sort of narrates the pictures more than the captions did. Anyway. Enjoy. Except, they're really boring, and not very good or interesting. And a lot of them are very orange. (Those ones are taken without the flash. The flash sometimes hinders more than helps the situation. Sort of lose-lose.)

I like grammar, snow, and purple notebooks. No wonder no one likes me.

Know what I notice more and more? The lack of -ly at the end of adverbs. Usually when the adverb is the last word of the phrase. For example, "Man that food came quick." Or "I did so bad on that test." I know it's a nit-picky thing, but that's what we grammar grouches are good at. People, keep the "ly"s! Don't make me sing the song from 1776. Ok, maybe just the refrain:

You see it's here-a-Lee, there-a-Lee
And everywhere-a-Lee-a-Lee

Social-Lee, political-Lee, financial-Lee, natural-Lee
Internal-Lee, external-Lee, fraternal-Lee, eternal-Lee

And then there's the wonderful ending:

Franklin:
When do you leave?
Lee:
Immediate-Lee!
Here-a-Lee, there-a-Lee!
Franklin:
When will you return?
Lee:
Short-Lee!
Here-a-Lee, there-a-Lee!
And I'll come back triumphant-Lee!
Here-a-Lee, there-a-Lee!
Everywhere a-Lee-a-Lee

By the way, that's a great movie. Just sayin'.

In other news. Today it was rainy, and quite warm (up in the upper 40s, I think! It was like a heat wave! I just wore a jacket!). Much of the snow melted as a result. When we got out of dinner, we saw lightning and heard thunder. In the end of January. Crazy. And when I went to work an hour or two later, it was still raining a bit, and there was still thunder and lightning. By the time I left work, the rain had turned into snow (like the end of Dan Fogelberg's Another Auld Lang Syne, except in that one it's snow turning into rain). And it was the great snow, nice and wet with big fat flakes. Love it. Except I had to stand outside in it for a few minutes, trying to find someone in the dorm to call while waiting for someone else either to leave or to come back to the dorm, because of course my card still isn't working. So that's great. I'm trying to pursue different avenues, hoping one of them will pan out. It better get fixed tomorrow, because I am sick of this. Whatever.

Also, today I finally bought myself a notebook for the semester. A 3-subject one, as I've been meaning to get (I have three real classes, so it makes sense, no?). I was going to get one at Meijer the other day, but alas, the ones they had there only had two of the separator thingies, which meant only two folders. The ones I had last semester each had three separator things, one before each section, and each had folders. That's what I wanted, so I can keep the syllabi and notes already taken for each class in the folders before each class. So I ended up just getting one at the bookstore, like I did last semester, even though it's slightly more expensive. But! I got a purple one! How exciting is that? Very, that's how exciting.

And I just finished my head wrap thing. (It's now much later than the timestamp says.) It's pretty cool. I have to get a button for it, and get a needle with which to sew in the ends, so I can't quite wear it yet, but yeah. Very quick to make. It's a little bigger than I would like though, unfortunately...but oh well. I'm sure I'll make more and get better at it.

Anyway. Bye.

Since I've been so moody lately

Here's some happy things:

I can't wait until Sunday. Superbowl baby! I hope I have someone to watch it with. I think I'll go over to TC, they'll probably watch it over there. Bethany, at least. I need to be friends with more sports-loving boys, I think. Oh well.

I got a thing of yarn yesterday, which I've been wanting for most of the semester so far (which is only a couple of weeks, really, but still) so I can make this. I started it last night. Got almost five rows in, and then I realized I had messed up at the beginning of the fourth row. And then it was confusing to try to undo, because it's not just knitting the same thing each row, so I ended up having to take it all out. So I'm only one row in at the moment. But I'm excited. And, know what? I managed to pick out the yarn within like five minutes. Granted, I only had one aisle of yarn from which to choose (Meijer doesn't have the best yarn selection, but that's where we were, so whatever), and I don't even know if I picked a good color or yarn, but I like it. And shouldn't that be what matters?

This afternoon, I still didn't have that history class re-added to my schedule, so I sent an email to the registrar people (who were supposed to be handling it), saying basically "What's the deal here, people?" And then I checked again like an hour and a half later, after I had gotten back from lunch and from trying to wrap up another loose end from the whole non-enrolling thing, and it had been added. And I had an email from them saying that it was added and to leave them alone already. Ok they didn't exactly say that. But sort of. haha. Anyway. So now all I think I have to get wrapped up is the fact that my card still doesn't get me into the dorm. Or clocked in at work. Both very annoying things. I think hopefully the dorm thing will be fixed by tomorrow, I hope hope hope, and hopefully that'll somehow fix the other problem. If it doesn't, I'm not sure where I have to go to get my card to register at work. That's the frustrating thing about the card thing. I have no idea who to talk to about it. I initially talked to Amy, after it was still not working on Friday when the registrar thought it should. She said she'd email "Steve" but that it wouldn't work until Monday. So then I emailed her again today, and she said someone else had to get involved (so I'm not sure if she even emailed that Steve guy. Who knows). Anyway. It'll get resolved, I'm sure, it's just frustrating as all get out. And I've been particularly moody the past few days (gotta love that PMS), which doesn't help. Nor does my ever-present, never-going-to-leave cold.

Anyway.

I went to Mass this evening at the Basilica because it was the Mass for the feast of Thomas Aquinas. That's the Mass which, two years ago, showed me the beauty of Latin chant during Mass. Not sure I had ever really been exposed to it much before then. But I fell in love with it. So when I heard that the Mass was today, I was excited. And it didn't disappoint (although there was no incense. I suppose that was a tad disappointing. But that's ok). Latin during Mass is so beautiful and perfect. Related to this, I have three stories. Firstly, on the Sunday we were there, a group of us went to St Matthew's Cathedral in DC. That's where the archbishop does Mass. His "chair" or whatever. I didn't really know it existed before we went, but man. I had been excited to go to the National Basilica, which was also breathtakingly beautiful in a different way, but St Matthews was gorgeous. I might even like it better than the National Basilica, which surprised me. On the outside, it's pretty plain looking (and seems somewhat small). But inside? Wow. And huge. Anyway, while we were walking around and such, from somewhere I heard faint sounds of Latin chant. Maybe there was like afternoon prayer or something going on in one of the side chapels. Not sure. Whatever it was, it just...fit. That's the sound the inside of a church should have. Mmm.

Later that day, we did make it to the National Basilica. They were doing a Mass in the main church, so we spent awhile exploring the crypt below. There are so many different tributes to different Marian devotions down there. And there's the crypt church itself, which was also lovely (but I couldn't explore that until later either because there was a Mass in there too). Anyway. In one of the bigger Marian chapels off to the side, there was another Mass going on with what I assume was some youth-centered group, probably in town for the March. The music was very...Life Teen-esque. And, whatever, but it just occurred to me while wandering around that the music sounded sooo out of place in that beautiful, old, tradition-filled place. It was just such a disconnect. And then on Tuesday morning, when we got to DC intending to do the big rally and Mass thing in the Verizon center but got there after it had filled to capacity, we ended up going to Mass at one of the other places doing overflow Masses. The church was really pretty, inside and out (and very very quite crowded. Crowded Masses were apparently the theme of the March gatherings, because man. The Mass Monday night in the Basilica? The most crowded Mass I've ever attended. Something like 8,000 people, and every bit of floor space was used, on the sides, in the back, in the smaller aisles, all of it), and really really old too I think. But then? The songs were SO much Life Teen songs. And at first I was like, wow are they serious? But they were. I had forgotten much of the music used for those Masses. And man, I didn't miss them. Again, that music just seemed so out of place from the whole thing. The church, the experience, the reason we were all there. Those songs are just so...watered down. It's like...let's see if I can put into words what that music is for me, in a Mass setting (they're ok on a Christian radio station or whatnot). That music compared to something more traditional, Latin or not, is like dining hall potato soup compared to a really excellent homemade potato soup. Or like drinking Natty Lite instead of a really good delicious beer (I don't really know a good beer to compare to because I don't drink beer). Hopefully you get the point. (Something like that might even be even more applicable because, if you've only ever had the weaker version of something, you don't realize what you're missing. I didn't. I used to like those Life Teen songs and Masses. But then I found out it could be oh so much better. And now it's hard to go back and think of it as good.) Oh well.

So. I just went off topic a bit. But there, that's a bit less I'll have to write when I get around to doing a March post. If I do...I should. Just to have it. Not that I'm sure anyone wants to hear the ins and outs of my DC experiences.

Wow. I hadn't written a good post in awhile. (Good meaning...long? haha) Sometimes thoughts just get so built up in my head, but they're not thoughts that are good enough to share with real people, so that's why this blog is so therapeutic sometimes. I can just get it out. Otherwise it builds up and I can't concentrate as well and I get just...I don't know. I get like I've been the past few days. Because I haven't even written in my diary for awhile either. I always do that when I'm in bed, ready to go to sleep, and usually it's either go to bed right away, or stay up possibly half an hour longer writing. Sleep has been winning lately.

Ok I'm going to stop writing now. My fingers are itching to knit. I love knitting with a passion I can't even explain. Mmm. And I'm excited to make that thing I'm making too, because it'll be nice. I don't like wearing hats, but that seems much better than a hat. But serves the same purpose. Yay!

I hate thinking up titles

Sorry for last night's post. I should stop emotiposting. Oh well. Sometimes I don't feel like whining to real people, so I whine to the internet. Whatever.

Also? I miss having a cat around. I really really really miss having a cat around. Obviously I wouldn't have one at school, but I've been home two breaks now without a cat sitting on my lap. I don't like that.

Know what else? I am the. most. indecisive. person. EVER. I think I must be missing a gene that helps me differentiate what I want clearly from what I don't. I mean, I can't pick between colors of things, I can't pick between ringtones, I can't pick between ANYTHING. Do you know how frustrating it is? I mean, sure, it's probably frustrating to be with someone like that. But imagine actually being that person. It's like I don't even know what I want. Like, I have no way to tell what is the better choice for me. I'm not sure if maybe when trying to make decisions for things for myself I keep thinking about what other people might prefer, or maybe I just have no self-confidence in the things that I think I want because, really, what do I know about anything? Other people are much more knowledgeable than I am. For everything. Even things that won't affect other people at all. I just don't get it. I'd give anything for a bit of self-confidence. Or a boost. Or something.

K, sorry, I'm done.

This is what happens when I get too pensive.

I went to see 27 Dresses tonight. Perhaps not the best thing for me. gah.


Sometimes I think the Internet is very bad for me. Sometimes it's good, but sometimes it causes me to...wallow, I guess, more than I should. Or it causes me to enable myself to be anti-social. I'm too anti social. It's so much easier.


Whatever happened to my determination to lose two dress sizes by graduation? Oh, you know what happened to it? I coughed on it. AND THEN I ATE IT.


Maybe I should just go to bed right now, instead of pretending to be social like I'm apparently going to be in a little while. Maybe I'll just pretend to be social for a few minutes, and then come back here and go to bed.


Weekends aren't fun anymore.

Unless I blatantly ignored six emails without realizing it...

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get at this whole enrolling situation. How much money do I pay to go here? (I use the term "I" very loosely...) If I'm supposed to re-enroll every single semester, the least they can do is make sure their stupid email reminders get to everyone. If there's residual problems from this, which I can pretty guilt-freely say was not my fault (aside from the fact that I suppose I should have remembered, somehow, to do it, and magically should have known that we had to do it by the 23rd or whatever), I am going to have some words with some people. And I don't do that. But this is irritating enough as it is. I couldn't clock in at work today because my card's still not re-registered for things, aside from the dining hall and swipes at the Huddle, I guess. It's not that big a deal because they can just write down my name and hours and whatnot and enter them later, but still. And I can't get into the dorm. Which is annoying. Very annoying. And man, they had better figure out how to get me back into that history class, because if for some reason I can't graduate because of this, well that'd be just not cool. I can't imagine it going that far, but somehow it wouldn't terribly surprise me either. The administrative part of this place sometimes just gets to me. And pretty much everyone else I know.

Ah, whatever.

Coming soon: A March for Life wrap up post. Detailing, far more than anyone wants to read, my adventures of the weekend. But let me say this: If you ever get a chance to go (hopefully, in a perfect world, there won't be many more opportunities because we as a country will realize what an atrocity abortion is and it will become illegal, and thus a March for Life won't be necessary), I highly, highly suggest it. It's one thing to hold firm to a belief by yourself, but quite another to be with a group of thousands upon thousands upon thousands who hold that belief as well. Hold it to the point that they're all willing to travel from far and wide to show the world. It's a pretty powerful thing, I must say.

Unnecessary Hassle

Note of advise: Don't forget to web enroll for classes. Causes a whole mess of problems that just...aren't good.

(For the record, I maintain that I somehow did not get the email which reminded us that we need to enroll for the semester, the email that usually comes at least twice each semester, but which I just definitely...I don't even know. If I got it, I only got it once and then it disappeared, but I think I never got it somehow. Very, very, very annoying. Hopefully there won't be any permanent or semi-permanent ramifications of this fun little adventure. Currently somehow they can't get me back into one of my classes. Makes no sense, and I don't know why it'd be a problem to do so as there's definitely still a spot available, but...whatever. Ugh. And I currently can't use my card to get into my dorm, and it's Friday, which means I won't be able to use it all weekend, which sucks a lot. At least it works again in the dining hall and whatnot.)

Sigh. I hate that we have enroll every semester. How annoying.


Edit: So I just heard from someone at the registrar, whom I emailed because apparently we were supposed to fill out some sort of graduation info when we registered this semester (we being seniors, obviously), and the dude told me that I missed six emails. I don't feel as bad now, because I definitely did not get six emails. I doubt if I even got one. So. Six emails? How the heck did I somehow get left off the list? I am positive I didn't get them. Which in itself is annoying.

I'm back

So it's been a pretty eventful weekend, both for me and elsewhere:

Patriots won! They're going to the Superbowl! (Against the Giants? Weird.)

I saw lots of sights and sounds of Washington, DC. Including the Cathedral, which is the seat of the Archbishop, and was quite beautiful, and of course the Basilica (where I attended a Mass that included a half-hour long procession in, and which was filled to standing room only -- even in the aisles. Except the major ones, obviously. But yeah, ridiculously filled. And, in keeping with the religion theme, a group of us who were touring around on Sunday even went into a Church of Scientology where we met and talked with a real, live scientologist. Weird. Gail and I went to the Smithsonian and around there on Monday. Fun as well.

And then there was the March itself. I'll be writing a longer post at some other time (not right now), with more detail and maybe even pictures. Although I didn't take a whole lot of the March itself. But it's hard to get good pictures when I can only really see the crowd around me, and not anything that can convey the whole expansiveness of the crowd.

And then last night Katherine texted me to tell me Heath Ledger died. Which I then passed along to a few around me on the bus, and since none of us could believe it, several made confirmation calls. But it's true. And weird. And sad. And disconcerting. Very disconcerting.

Anyway. I gots things to do, and have been sitting here for an hour and a half catching up on stuff. (But so far, I have yet to see a mention of the March on any news pages. Surprised? Not really.) It's really cold, and I was cold all night on the bus, and all weekend walking around, and this morning walking back from the bus. ALLLL the way across campus. In weather that felt like 4 below, apparently. And it did.

So. Until later. (I'm planning on being anti-social tonight, when I'm done with class and work and stuff. For a person who enjoys moments alone at least every once in awhile, it's been a bit tiring being around people -- usually lots of them -- 24/7 for the past four and a half days. But at the same time, I haven't seen people here in awhile. So who knows.)

Where I'll be...

Check here for lots of good updates on Tuesday.

Go Irish, save babies! (Although, apparently we don't have a very good contingent this year. People here just don't care enough. Plus it's sorta far.)

So, I keep bouncing between sort of wanting this weekend and next week to be over, and being really excited about going to DC. Not sure why the two are mutually exclusive for me, but they seem to be. I mean, I'm excited about going, I am. I'll definitely get to go to Mass at the National Basilica, which is like one of the lesser-tier dreams of mine! And I think Gail and I are planning on going to the Smithsonian and the Washington Monument and...who knows what else. But the Smithsonian is free apparently! How sweet is that? I guess a lot of stuff is free out there. So that's cool.

(The wanting it all to be over comes from the fact that it requires a 12 hour bus ride both ways, two nights sleeping in a parish hall or something with everyone else -- girls and boys separated, of course, because this is ND after all -- which means probably not great sleep for me since I tend not to sleep well without a fan or some continual noise like that. And the fact that I'll feel a bit behind in my classes next week. And the fact that I'm sick and all that. But yeah. It's all good though, really.)

Also, completely unrelated: I'm in a beginning guitar class this semester. With about 15 or so people, most of them boys (from the list that was posted, at least). One of them being Terrail Lambert. I find this amusing for some reason.

And now. It's 11:30 (even though I started this at 9 and then forgot about it...perhaps I'll change the time to reflect that), and I think I'm going to bed. (But I have to be up and at McKenna, 10 minute walk, by 9am tomorrow, so it's not that great.) I still have to pack for DC, but I think I'm just going to do that tomorrow between the end of the Saints conference thing (so far, pretty boring but hey it's an easy credit) and when I have to leave. Not a great deal of time between those two things, but I can manage. I mostly know what I want to take anyway. Layers. So it doesn't even really matter what I wear. My biggest question: what shoes to wear? Boots for the long walk, or my running shoes, or my boring old tennis shoes? The biggest wrench in this is Mass at the National Basilica. I don't want to look like a slob, but it seems that bringing along a skirt and nice shoes and whatnot would be rather...unreasonable and impractical. I think I might bring khakis or something, but then I don't really have good shoes for that...hm I might have just figured out something. Anyway. Ok. Bed.

The word of the day is: Cough!!!

Update on the sickness situation: Cystian pain is all but gone (which means there'll still be twinges here and there and I have to take it easy the next few days, but the worst part is over -- yay ibuprofen and not having to resort to vicodin!).

Cough, however, remains. I just loaded up on stuff: I got some Mucinex DM from the health services pharmacy, which I'm hope hope hoping will help with the cough, and I got some more Tylenol severe cold stuff which I ran out of this week at some point. Because no longer do I just have a cough but feel fine otherwise. I have a cough, and my ears have been annoyingly plugged the past few days, and my nose is stuffy and runny (not helped by my bouts of violent coughing spurts that happen every once in awhile and often end up with me gagging, and always make my eyes water and nose run), and...yeah. So. I'm not sure how mixing the mucinex and the tylenol works, but it doesn't say anything on either box, so hopefully it's ok. I mean, I just took the Mucinex, and I'll wait a couple hours before taking the tylenol. But anyway.

I just want to feel healthy again. This school year has been ridiculous for me, sick-wise. I mean, the last time I was really healthy in the way of not feeling like I had a cold or anything was back in like October. And at that point, I had the toe thing to deal with. Before this year, I would typically get maybe two colds a year, one per semester, and never really badly. All that went out the window this year, though. Sigh. Oh well. Could be worse. Could always be worse.

Things I've discovered today

Having a continual, annoying, hearty cough certainly does not mix well with pains in the abdomen caused by an ovarian cyst. And cold weather doesn't help the cough. And having a coughing fit right after walking into a building, particularly when it's not very feasible to sit down right away (because the pain is somewhat lessened when sitting down/hunched over), just makes the whole thing worse. (Don't be too jealous of me, now.)

The question now is, do I deal with it until it gets unbearable, probably sometime tomorrow if the past few times were any indication, or do I take vicodin now and deal with those consequences? Well, as long as it goes away by Saturday, it doesn't matter. And unless I'm really unlucky (and let's face it, sometimes I am), it will go away by Saturday. I'll probably take vicodin a little later tonight, and hopefully I can sleep away the aftereffects.

Also, what else I discovered: Medium-sized vanilla chai with two honey packets. So so so good.

Also: I leave on Saturday for DC, right? We'll get back Wednesday morning. This means two things: schoolwork next week is going to suck, and I'll be going potentially 3.5 days without my computer, or access to a computer at all. (I say potentially because I may stumble across one at some point somewhere.) But that's a long time to go without a computer. For me. Which, I realize, is sad. I'm sure I'll survive though. Haha.

Also, I would love to see John Williams in person. Like, conducting a concert of his best stuff or something. Man that'd be awesome.

Also, apparently the number of abortions are at their lowest point since like 1976 or so. I'm pretty sure it's still over 1 million a year, though, and even one is too many. But progress is progress I guess.

Also, I'm tempted to get one of those Olympics songs as my ringtone. I like them, and John Williams, so much. But I'm afeared people might think I'm a bit off if I did that. (Right now, I think I have it narrowed down to Bolero, Rhapsody in Blue, and Beethoven's Symphony no. 6. The one played during the fun little faun scene in Fantasia.) Of course, if I don't change it soon they're going to look at me weird anyway. I still have my Christmas ringtone on there. And it's not Christmas anymore, folks. Christmas was already almost a month ago. It's already past mid-January. Tomorrow is exactly four months before I graduate. Hm, too bad I don't graduate one day later. I graduated from high school on May 19, so it'd be cool to graduate college on May 19 too. But that's just because I like things to be even like that. Senior year, we started August 19, had our last day of fall semester on December 19, and then graduated on May 19. It was great.

Um...yeah.

Hump day

This weekend here, it's supposed to be like 12 degrees. As a high. And lots of snow, of course. At first I was excited about this. Because I'm weird and all that. But then I realized, I'm not going to be here for that! Well, it's Saturday and Sunday that are supposed to be really cold, so I guess I'll be here most of Saturday. But still. Ah well. Also, today I realized that Sunday is football day, and that I'll be in DC on football day. Not just football day, but AFC/NFC Championship football day. I might possibly be able to find a TV somewhere in the city at some point, enough to catch hopefully some of the game (preferably the latter half rather than the first half, if anything), but who knows. Oh well. It's worth it. I mean, I'll be in DC. And for cheap! S'all good. But man, I hate the thought that football season has two days left. Effectively. I mean, yeah, it goes until Feb 3, but it's only two actual days of football. That makes me so so sad. Basketball definitely doesn't do it for me. Baseball's ok, but not nearly as interesting or exciting, plus it doesn't even really start until like what, April? That's a full two months or so without sports to watch. Football season is far, far too short.

Anyway.

I'm bored. So...here.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? Me, myself, and I.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Um...Saturday, maybe?

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes. It's not very feminine, though. Which, I guess goes with the rest of me.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Don't really have one, actually.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes, eighteen.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I sure hope so. I mean, I'm pretty much the embodiment of the perfect person.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Um, no. I'm a very honest, forthright person.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? As far as I know.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I don't think you could pay me to do that.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Depends on my mood.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. Unless I was wearing my boots, in which case I do because it's sort of impossible to take them off without untying.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Not particularly.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Changes, but I do often enjoy cookies and cream, or cookie dough, or an M&M McFlurry.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Hm...height, maybe. Depends on what I'm looking at.

15. RED OR PINK? Don't have strong feelings about either.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? The fact that I cannot for the life of me get myself to do my homework and get to bed before like 2. And that's being ambitious.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Right now, I guess, my family. Not many other people to miss. I miss my cat, but she's not coming back.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? The pants I'd live in if I could (they're blue), and some white socks. Because all I have are white socks. Because I have big feet, and they don't make fun special socks for people with big feet. Jerks.

19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? It was a mistake, and I'm really wishing I hadn't, and I knew this would happen, but a 3 Musketeers bar. Or part of one, anyway.

20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Office and Conan. (one during commercials.)

21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? White. Or...yellow. I'm not cool enough to be blue or purple or something. Maybe I'd be brown. Brown's pretty boring.

22. FAVORITE SMELLS? I sure do like the smell of rain. Or a cold winter night.

23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I believe it was my sister.

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? See above. (Football. Always football. Good ol' American football.)

25. HAIR COLOR? Brown. Lovely boring brown. (But it's ok. I like it.)

26. EYE COLOR? See the above.

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes, yes I do.

28. FAVORITE FOOD? That's just an impossible question for me to answer. Chicken lo mein always makes me happy, though, the rare occasions I get it.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I hate scary movies, and I don't care if a movie has a cheesy happy ending. There needs to be happiness in the world.

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Anne of Green Gables.

31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? A black long-sleeved Tshirt under my favoritest sweatshirt, the grey ND one I got Christmas of my senior year high school (like a week after I found out I got into ND, way to have faith that I'd get in early, Mom and Dad). I could seriously live in this whole outfit. Well, the undershirt I don't really have strong feelings about. And I do have socks I love more than these boring white ones. Anyway.

32. SUMMER OR WINTER? I definitely get sick of summer more quickly than I do winter. So, I guess I'd have to pick winter.

33. HUGS OR KISSES? I think if everyone were hugged more often, there'd be less stress and negativity in the world. True fact -- touch is very important in human development.

34. FAVORITE DESSERT? Oh man. I like dessert way too much. I'm really not picky. But of the major groups, I'd probably have to say ice cream is my favorite.

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Ignoring school books (and boy-howdy, do I), Anne of Avonlea.

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Nothingness. (I don't even have a mouse. Ahhh, laptops.)

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Um...did I? No, I didn't, I watched Anne of Green Gables with friends.

38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? The stillness that comes with snow late at night. Among other things.

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I guess Beatles. But I'm not a huge fan or anything.

40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I guess Maine or something like that. Unless Disneyworld is farther from CO than New England.

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Um...sort of, maybe, but not really.

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Lowell, MA.

Might as well live it up while I can, right?

I have three classes that are in actual classrooms. I mean, not counting my directed readings which is just me meeting with the prof in his office. Of those three classes, one is on the 8th floor of Hesburgh (which means, ugh, twice a week ventures on the elevator in there. I hate that elevator. I'll probably at least be taking the stairs down, if not up, every time). The other two? In Debartolo. In the same classroom. How weird. And I think it might be in the classroom where I had Old Testament last semester. Yep. Hm. I don't like that classroom because there's no windows. I like classrooms with windows. Ew I bet the Hesburgh classroom won't have windows either. Blah. Oh well. How weird that I won't have a class in the north end of Debartolo. I've had several in there every semester since at least first semester sophomore year, if not freshman year. Huh.

Anyway.

Also, there's finally a review of my history prof on ndtoday.com. I don't think there was one before...I don't really remember. But anyway, this one person said that it's a fairly easy class. So that's good. I do think this semester will involve large amounts of reading (obviously, considering the ridiculous number of books I had to buy for three classes total), but I also think that: I have lots more time because of fewer classes, and it's my last semester and I intend on having fun and not worrying so much about grades. I mean, who's really going to care about my GPA? And it's not like it's really possible to have it change all that much. I'll graduate with somewhere around/above a 3.5, which I think is plenty good enough for me. I won't ever again have the chance to sit around with friends until early hours of the morning, chatting about nothing or about everything, going to bars and going crazy (within reason) without any real consequences, spending time soaking in the indescribable amazingness that is Notre Dame. So, I think that's going to be my focus this semester. I obviously want to try, and perhaps even do well, in my classes, but I have no plans to kill myself to do so.

This is my last chance to have fairly responsibility-free fun. And I am going to take advantage of it as much as possible. So there. (Also, related to this, I'm thinking of dropping one of my four work shifts. And not because it interferes with classes. It's a Thursday night shift, 7-9, which I did because I wanted a fourth shift, wanted to stay away from Wednesday nights (LOST!), and didn't want something too late. But as it turns out, they stupid moved Lost from Wednesday nights to Thursday nights at 9. And Thursday nights are often fun nights for going out. Occasionally. So first I'm going to see if maybe there's another shift I could do some other time. Unlikely, though, but you never know. If not, I think I might just cancel that shift. I have no money, I realize, but...eh I don't know. I hate money. But Lost is just so much better watching it with other people. If I keep that shift, I'll miss at least the beginning every episode, which means I'll have to tape it and watch it all later (or watch it online or something) by myself. I know, stupid reason to turn down $14 extra a week. Hm. I don't know. I'll just hope there's another shift I can get, I guess.)

Anyway.

Classes start tomorrow. Weird. My first CS Lewis class was cancelled, so I only have one class tomorrow, and just the one Wednesday (as it will always be). So that's pretty cool. But time to go now. (Oh one more thing. I'm amazed at how many times it snows around here and I just am completely oblivious. Like a little while ago, I heard them plowing the parking lot outside my window. I didn't know it had snowed at all, let alone enough to require plowing. Apparently I don't look out of windows. I blame it on being on the fourth floor and only having windows that are small and pushed out from the rest of the wall, so I'm not right next to it. Yeah. That's the problem.)

Time to turn things around

I've been wanting to air out a complaint of mine for a couple of weeks now. Well, it's something I've definitely discussed before, but not necessarily this aspect of it.

So, we all know I think (...know?) abortion is wrong. To put it lightly. But for now, it's legal. Whatever. But what bothers me is that Planned Parenthood, which purports to be all about helping people "be educated" and whatnot when in reality they're all about abortions (yeah, I know, that's not all they do, but it is a big part of what they do), is funded in part by tax dollars. Which means that my taxes, the taxes that are taken out of my paychecks, small as they may be, help fund abortions. My money helps to support something that I'm against at the very core of my being. Something that completely boggles my mind with the fact that it even exists. And I have no say in keeping that money from going to support it. Kinda sucks.

Know what else? I find this article rather interesting. Now, obviously we can't say that all babies that have been aborted since it became legal would now be alive and existing today were abortion not legal, but it's an intriguing thought nonetheless. To me, anyway.

It won't be long before the number of babies killed since Roe v. Wade hits 50 million. That's a lot of people who weren't given the chance to live. Our country sure has some messed up ideas about what's right and wrong. Sometimes I wonder if we will eventually crash and burn like the ancient Roman empire, as some occasionally allude to. And I wonder if it'll really be that bad of a thing to happen.

Mmm Notre Dame

I'm back. Victoriously, and happily. (Side note: I stopped to get gas about an hour past Davenport, mostly because I wanted coffee as I was more tired at that point than I had been at all during the drive yesterday, oddly, and there was one of those Love's stops coming up. I had brought from home a Love's travel mug, because I heard tell that if you have one of those, you can get refills of coffee for free from those places. I passed a total of two, including that one, so yeah. Anyway. About the gas. I didn't really need it yet, but didn't feel like stopping again later, so I filled up. And apparently forgot to put the cover back on my gas tank. Which means I drove a good...two and a half, three hours with my gas tank uncovered. Hm. I'm typically pretty anal about making sure I have that on, so I don't know what happened. I think I was distracted by the thought of going in to ask about the free coffee...it's a bit more assertive than I like to be, so whatever. Anyway. Someone told me as I was getting out of my car after parking in front of Cavanaugh that it was open. Except, by that point the door thing that covers the cap and all had sort of closed, as much as it was possible. Woops.)

I don't like Peyton Manning. (Edit an hour later: Goodnight, Colts! Now we just gotta get it done against the Chargers. I think we can.)

Oh right, back at school. So everything went well, I got a sweet parking spot because lots of people are still gone (that spot won't last long, though. I think I'll have to go to Walgreens or something tomorrow, or sometime soon, to get a prescription filled that I didn't have time to get before I left Colorado), and now it's time to unpack. I'm feeling rather...tired at the moment, though, because of all the going up and down four flights of stairs, arms full of stuff. But. No worries. Oh, and there wasn't any weather today either. It was foggy a lot of the drive today, and cloudy the whole way, but that just meant I didn't have to worry about wearing sunglasses.

Well, that's all I really wanted to say. Good to be back. Back in my lovely tiny twin bed tonight, and with freshly cleaned sheets too! Let's hope the cough doesn't interfere with what could be a lovely night's sleep, finally. I know that alarms certainly won't.

Consider this your postcard

I'm sitting here in a ridiculously huge room in a Davenport Super 8 motel. I mean, seriously. It's got a couch, a lounge chair, a table with four chairs, a coffee table, several storage places, a fridge (sadly, not stocked), and a microwave. And a HUUUUUGE bed (which I'm sort of ambivalent about, because I sort of prefer my twin size bed at school even to my full (I think) size bed at home. I don't move around a lot, and I prefer feeling cocooned at night, so I like being in a small bed. But anyway.

I'm in a surprisingly good mood right now, even though I drove 13 hours straight today. Stopped for gas twice, and got a quick bite to eat, and had to go through a small stretch with some snow which was sort of harrowing because I wasn't sure if it was slick or not on the roads (and brake-checking for slickness is one thing when you're going 10, 15 mph. Quite another when you're going 60, 65, 70). So I'm sort of very tense still right now, and I sort of have a headache and am a bit shaky (probably partially due to not eating enough today), but I'm happy-ish. I am going to attribute this to two things: Firstly, the drive went pretty well. No real complaints. I'm in love with cruise control and don't know why I ever shunned it before this past August. It's really a thing of beauty. Somehow makes the tenseness that comes from sitting in one position for 13 long hours just a bit better. Secondly, the Patriots are playing tonight (did you know? Have I mentioned?). I found it on an AM station so I was able to listen to it all before I got to the hotel (which was shortly into the third quarter), even if there was some random music playing over/behind it, and even if it would get static-y to the point where I couldn't hear it for a minute or two every once in awhile. It's all good. Oh, and guess what? Patriots just won! Mmm yay. (Oh and a third reason: I have a Papa John's pizza on the way. YES.) I hope my pizza hurries up. I'm hungry.

So, um...I forgot. oh yeah. It's now around 10pm here. It feels so much later, and my computer, since it's set on eastern time, keeps making me think it's an hour later. (It's been eastern all during break, but I guess when I was home I knew to adjust two hours, but what with the traveling and all today maybe I'm just all confuzzled.) Plus, you know, I'm tired. Amazing how SITTING can exhaust a person. Plus there was the waking up at 6am, after a trifecta of going to bed later than I should have, not being able to fall asleep for awhile after I did go to bed, and then being woken up at five and kept awake by Kebbie being all annoying and stuff. Sigh. Oh well.

Pizza finally got here. Pizza + coke this late at night? Hm. Perhaps questionable. (But oh so good.)

Not sure how well the sleeping thing is going to work tonight. Not only do I tend not to sleep very well in hotels (or unfamiliar places in general, I think), my cough's bothering me sort of a lot all of a sudden and I left the cough syrup I brought with me in the car. And I'm too lazy to go get it. oh well. Maybe I'm tired enough that it won't matter. Eh, I can sleep all day Monday if I want to, and only have four hours to drive tomorrow. I was hoping to leave early-ish (7 or 8), but maybe depending on how sleep goes, I'll let myself be a little lazy. We'll see.

Either way, I should get going now. Until later, then!

I am an organizer's worst nightmare

I know I said yesterday that I might not be able to post again before I get back to school, but I have some downtime at the moment (waiting on some laundry to dry so I can get more packed). Plus, I mean, it's me, and how can I stay away from posting? Haha.

Guess what I discovered today? I am like an obsessive, ridiculous, completely insane packrat. I was looking for something, an old silly Christmas gift I received years and years ago that I've told people about and want to prove that it's real. (It's a nose flute. Seriously. Coolest thing ever.) I hadn't seen it in awhile, and thought it might be in this trunk-like apparatus that I have in the closet, where I put some "oooh memories!" stuff. I actually have two of those, but one of them has a little crappy lock on it (like one of those silly little girl diary locks), and I couldn't find the keys to it and to the trunk itself (they're together somewhere). So I was looking in this non-locked one, and oh my gosh I am ridiculous. I have the most stupid things in there. Including, get this -- a piece of wrapping paper. Wrapping paper. Used wrapping paper. Ripped, wrinkled, torn wrapping paper. Now, I remember having that wrapping paper and the fact that it must have covered some special present from a special occasion in my life, and I remember the fact that I wanted to save it. But ask me what special present and what special occasion, and I most certainly cannot tell you. Seriously. Why would I keep used wrapping paper? What is wrong with me? There's some random useless crap in there. And that would be the story of my room.

So. I'm thisclose to having the willpower to purge my room completely. Well, not completely. I mean, not everything I save is crap. Believe it or not. But I have a desk full of old binders, filled with random pointless-to-keep assignments, some dating back to middle school. Yes. Middle school. I don't know why I feel such attachments to things that amount to nothing, basically. That stuff does not need to be saved. I know I would feel oh so much better if only I could get rid of probably a good 50% of the stuff in my room. And clothes. I have too many clothes. Clothes I don't wear that often, and even some I do wear fairly often. I don't need them all. So. Here's the deal, folks. I'm trying to minimize. I can't really do much about my room right now (since I'm leaving in, oh...8 hours or so...crap I should get to sleep soon), but with the clothes thing, I'm doing an experiment. I'm going to try to leave some superfluous things here. Some clothes I don't wear often, or perhaps haven't worn lately because I sort of need to lose a bit of weight before I can wear it without feeling...um...bulgy, shall we say? Things like that. I took a ridiculous amount of clothes home with me. Partially due to my lack of doing laundry during like the entire month of December, before coming home, and thus having a lot I needed to do. And hey, why not take it home and do it for free? Anyway. I'm going to try. But it's a first step, and thus might not seem that impressive. But I'm trying. And come this summer (possibly spring break, even?), my room will be getting de-cluttered. Maybe I'll have a usable desk. Not that I really need a desk in my room...anyway though. I'm excited at the fact that I'm almost at the point where I can get rid of that stuff. It will be an interesting endeavor, to be sure. Including lots of trips down memory lane. Although, I won't quite know where all those memories...come from...possibly.

(Oh yeah, know what else I have saved a ridiculous amount of? Tags. Like, clothing tags. What? I guess I save those in case I want to return something, but I found like a bag of them in that trunk. At least, that's what it looked like. What is wrong with me?)

By the way, the nose flute? I found it in my nightstand. Under some other crap. Nearby, the keys to that other trunk. Interesting. Sadly, I was pressed for time today what with all the other stuff I had to do, so I didn't get to venture into the locked trunk. I think it's got more exciting, less "What was I thinking?" stuff in it. But maybe not. Who knows. Tis a mystery. Oh but one good thing came from my searching. I found my high school diploma! I had realized I didn't know where the heck it was this summer, and my brief search didn't turn it up, but it was in a box in my closet (on top of the trunk thing) with some other end of senior year high school stuff (my last report card, my IB diploma, etc). So that was cool. I guess. And in the trunk, I found my preschool class picture (sadly, the only names on it are the first names of my friends that I wrote on the back in huge preschool-aged handwriting), my 5th grade class picture (with the names listed underneath -- cool because I had been trying to remember some people in the past year or so), and some other stuff like that. So there are some legit things in there. But some not so much.

Anyway. Laundry's done, so I should get going. Good news, though. We reserved a room for me tomorrow night at a hotel in Davenport, Iowa, which is 13 hours away. Assuming I don't give up before that and stop somewhere else, I'll have a hotel with free Internet! So, yay. And I should get there around 9ish local time if I'm lucky, which means I'll get to watch at least a bit of the Patriots game. I'm sad I'll miss the earlier game (although I don't remember what it is), and much of that game, but it happens. I'll only have five hours to drive Sunday, so I should hopefully be able to get back to school by 1pm (I'm hoping to leave at 7, and there'll be an hour time change, sigh), so I should get to watch both Sunday games. I think there's two. Ok, so I'm missing the Green Bay game (I guess that's not too sad), and I'll get to see the Colts-Chargers and Dallas-Giants. I'm more interested in the second. Anyhoo. So hopefully good things will happen this weekend. And by good, I mean uneventful, and just as planned. The drive down here took like 17.5 hours (I think...the whole two hours thing is throwing me off, plus I can't add. Or subtract. Or whatever I need to do). And that was including a bit of a break with some low tire/figuring out how to work the non-working pressure gauge thing, and a longer lunch than I'd take by myself. So I'm hoping that it won't take the full 13 hours to get to Davenport tomorrow, and that it won't take five more hours after that to get to school. But I think weather might be a bit worse, so we'll see. Looks like I can count on maybe seeing some snow a good chunk of the drive tomorrow. And Sunday. Oh well.

Ok, seriously now, leaving. If you read this sometime before Sunday afternoon (and man I hope I'm there by Sunday afternoon, or else something has gone amiss), perhaps say a quick prayer that everything goes well! Thanks! (Here's hoping the roads, if not weather-free, are at least fairly people-free. Less people, less cars to worry about hitting, or hitting me.)

I always mean to write short posts. And then they GROW.

Conan just said that he's a Patriots fan. Heck yes Conan! (I believe he's a Red Sox fan as well.) Man, is there anything bad about him? Haha.

Know what I discovered today? I discovered just how uncomfortable a person can get with a full bladder, and then some. And then how much it sucks to be that uncomfortable and have the added bonus of someone putting pressure on said bladder, to the point where you just don't think you can take it anymore and would almost rather wet yourself than have to feel like that. And then I discovered that, when in that situation, I can pee for a looooong time. Sorry if that's too much information. But man. (All this was for an ultrasound to check on the cyst situation. It's 5cm right now, apparently. So...that's better than the 10cm it was in November...hopefully it'll get resolved fully and completely within the next few months now, though. I'll be going on birth control, reluctantly, because I guess it's the only good option. I guess it could be worse. Hopefully I won't have any adverse reactions to it.)

My parents are pretty much the most fantabulous, wonderful, amazing, lovely, generous, awesome, loving people and I'm so so so so so lucky to have been born to them. I don't deserve them and their goodness. It'd be awesome to win the lottery, right? I'd love it because then I could finally pay back my parents for all their years of spending too much on me. I could give them most of it and I could stop feeling like the world's biggest mooch/spoiled child. That'd be the first thing I did, I think. Sigh. I just wish I felt more...productive in the not depending so much on my parents to finance things. Of course, it's hard when I'm in college and without much of a means to support myself financially. So I guess I'll just be thankful for great parents. Parents who won't even expect me to move out right after I graduate, knowing it's more financially responsible to stay at home for awhile instead of wasting money on rent right away. (Money I won't have right away.) I love you, Mom and Dad, and am so appreciative for everything you guys do for me. Even though I don't say thank you nearly enough.

So I'm leaving on Saturday. I feel, as always, torn about this. Very excited and looking forward to getting back and being back, of course, but also sad at leaving my family. I really do have a great family. Stressful and frustrating as they can sometimes be. That's family, right? I really do love them though. We're none of us perfect, but we work well together, I think. So yeah. Plus there's the fact that I hate the pre-traveling stuff (packing, getting everything ready, etc) and then the traveling itself. If I come back here after graduation and never take another trip again, I think I'd be ok. All right, that might be somewhat of a lie. But yeah. It'll be nice to keep my traveling down to maybe one or two trips a year, instead of four or five or more. Anyway. So to sum things up, I'm glad to be at home, and I'll be glad to be back at school, because that'll mean I'm done traveling. For this time. Oh and also? I need to get rid of some clothes. I have way too many. It's a fine line, though, between having a ridiculous number and having not enough to have much variation so that it looks like you wear the same thing once a week. I don't know. I really do want to try to start packing lighter. I've never been good at that. I definitely was terrible at that this trip, but that's partially because I felt like I could bring along more stuff since, hey why not? Not like I had a weight limitation like on a plane. So yeah. If I were really awesome, I'd try to get it so that I could pack my spring break stuff into the suitcase that fits into the overhead, so I wouldn't even have to check a bag. I think that's being too ambitious though. Actually, I know it is.

Anyway. Oh, for the record, I most definitely believe and stick to the idea that traveling would not be as hated for me if I weren't always traveling alone. The ride out here wasn't really bad because I had someone with me. The ride back? Hm we'll see. I'll have the companionship of books on CD, but I'll also be making it longer by stopping for the night in a hotel. By myself. Sometimes I still feel like such a little girl, and then I have to remind myself that I'm 22, and 22 isn't exactly young to be getting a hotel room alone. So. Yeah. The plus is, by doing all these things by myself, I become more comfortable to be able to do them later on, and that's a good thing, right?

I hope good things come of this semester. I really do.

And I hope my driving back to school goes well. Weather-wise I think it won't be as easy as driving out here. Might snow in Nebraska on Saturday, and there's a good chance it'll be raining/snowing as I get closer to Chicago and South Bend on Sunday. So...yeah. Sigh. Oh well.

(Oh yeah, have I mentioned that I've been enjoying the tv show The Office over break? I might have. I don't remember. I'd seen episodes here and there and always found it amusing; even the season premiere of the 4th season this September was enjoyable despite the fact that one of the subplots included the death of one of the character's cats, and it was shortly after Colt had disappeared/died. Anyway, I decided I needed to catch up and watch all of them over break, so I borrowed a friend's DVDs of it, and yeah. Very enjoyable. Good times.)

K. Enough for tonight. Not sure if I'll post again before I get back to school; possibly Saturday night if I get lucky and the hotel I stay at has wireless, preferably and specifically free. That'd be awesome. But unexpected. So anyway. Bye.

Let's make it four more years instead of four more months

I was thinking tonight about being at school. Specifically, for some reason, about walking across south quad on the stretch of sidewalk between Hayes-Healy/Riley and just past the engineering building. At night. When it's cold out. On my way to see a SUB movie. I'd say I probably average around three SUB movies a semester, at most, so it's not like this is a regular thing I do. But that popped into my head tonight for some reason, and it just struck me how much I'm going to miss that. How much I'll miss walking that stretch of sidewalk (even though it does have the unfortunate inclusion in the wind tunnel that is south quad, which is made even worse in the cold at night). And how much I'm going to miss all of it. I'm trying not to get too melancholy about it all yet, but dude. How am I supposed to say goodbye to that chunk of my life in May? Sigh. Change sucks.

I like Notre Dame.

Incidents and accidents

All of a sudden, I'm scared at the thought of having kids. (Not that it matters, as it's not like I'm in a position where I might start having them any time soon.)

Tonight my nephew was over here (the one that'll be three in March), and after dinner we were playing, and long story short, he tripped on something and fell and out came a tooth. A nowhere near loose tooth, as he's not quite at that age yet, obviously. I didn't see him fall so I don't know how it happened or what he fell on. But it was slightly (read: very) disconcerting, to say the least. Good thing my mom was here to handle it, because man I don't know how I would have reacted.

Kids have injuries. They fall. Things happen. We've all been through it and survived. But I think a lot of that is almost worse on the parent than the kid (assuming there aren't really any lingering problems, as often there aren't. Not major ones anyway). It's a scary thing, to say the least. This is the first time I've been around for a slightly serious injury, beyond like head bumps and whatnot. I'd just as soon not have to be around for any more. Hence the being scared to have kids thing. I'd just as soon (sooner, really) have myself be injured than have any of my family members be injured. (Including and especially my sister. She doesn't need any more injuries.)

Sigh.

And the thing about kids is, while they might get older and their propensity for injuries grow less and less (at least as far as doing things like falling and hitting their heads, and whatever else little kids tend to do), we still have problems that we want our mothers to fix for us. Except they're the problems that can't be fixed with a bandaid and a kiss. My poor mom. She deserves to go straight to heaven for what we kids have put her through. Especially as we've gotten older, especially the last year or two (or more). If for no other reason than to help her peace of mind, I want to try being more positive about things. I haven't been good at that lately. I need to work on it.

(Interestingly enough, the one who probably cause my mom the most worry with physical ailments as a child -- Peter -- might be the one who's causing her the least angst now, aside from that tiny detail that he's...in...Iraq...but at least he's pretty happy, except that he doesn't want to be there and all that...Eh I could be wrong. But I, who rarely if ever had any serious physical problems, have cause her no end of grief since college, complaining to her about this and that and the other, and far too often bemoaning to her about my lack of boyfriend. It doesn't help anyone, and she doesn't need that, so...time to stop. There's enough other real things that might require her help, and that one? Not so important.)

By the way, one of the reasons this break has been rather less of a "break" than I'd prefer is because, especially the last week or so, I figured we were going to be putting Kebbie down before I left, because I really really want to be here. We've had a number of animals in my lifetime, and I have been around for zero of their deaths. I don't really know if it's something I actually want to be present for, but...with Kebbie, I do. Anyway. We decided to wait until spring break (because I can't say goodbye yet?), and so now while I was planning on not coming home again until after graduation, I guess I'll be coming home then. (I don't have money to do anything fun really, anyway.) I don't know if it is the right decision, but right now, in the present moment, it's a lot easier to think of it being a month and a half away rather than a few days away. There's a chance that something unexpected might happen with her between now and then, something that would necessitate her being put down when I'm at school, but I'm just going to pray that she's still here in March. And leave it up to God. I know that it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, no matter when it happens, and I fully expect that it'll be one of the worst days of my life (the other day that would count as one of the worst days is actually today, five years ago), but...that's life. At least this way I'm not forced to add another terrible anniversary to the month of January. I already have enough reasons to hate January. Another one would just reinforce my hatred of the month, I guess, instead of spreading out the unpleasantness throughout the year...Anyway. Sorry I'm being sort of a downer. I'm done talking about this now. For now.

Anyway. Soon enough, I'll be back at school, my last semester, doing the best I can to make it a great one.

Question

Why has it taken me so long to read Anne of Green Gables? Why did I never read it as a child? Why has it taken me until my senior year of college to read the actually story upon which one of my favorite movies is based? (Surprisingly, the many differences between the two -- the book and the movies -- haven't really bothered me. I'm quite bothered watching Harry Potter, knowing that it's so much better in the books. But maybe my love for the movies and my delight in the books separates them from one another somehow. I don't really know.)

All I know is, it's some great stuff. I must have been not very bright when I was younger.

Living for the little things.

This made me laugh (and laughing hasn't been on the menu much this break):



And I'm very much looking forward to the summer Olympics. I love the Olympics. I do enjoy the winter Olympics (and I very much like the speed skating, especially when Apolo Anton Ohno is racing). But the summer Olympics I think are more exciting. Swimming, gymnastics, I guess track is ok, ...yeah. I like the swimming. I don't remember quite what else is in the summer Olympics that I care about. But anyway. Lots of people don't care about the Olympics, but for some reason, I just greatly enjoy them. So. Even if the summer holds no promise of anything good, at least I have the Olympics to look forward to.

Sometimes, the world just gets me down

Somehow it's newsworthy that Katherine Heigl didn't live with her fiance before they got married recently. Wow. I mean, good for her I guess, but sad for society that it's noteworthy enough to mention with celebrity news.

Know what else is sad? The fact that people feel they need to be kept "safe" from the perils of -- oh no -- children. Horrible, horrible, money-sucking children. I don't often like to venture to general places on the Internet, places that pull in random people from all over, because typically the general opinion is far too much the opposite of what I believe. I have to deal with it enough in the real world, why subject myself to it more than I have to when I'm perusing the Internet? Call it burying my head in the sand if you want, but whatever. For this reason, I keep my forum-browsing to a few select sites, which mostly happen to be Catholic. Not to say that I don't run into people with other beliefs on those sites, but they're fewer and farther between, and at least there's a good number who agree with me. Tonight, though, I went to this forum I've never been to before (it's attached to this thing a friend showed me, a site to help keep track of calories consumed every day, etc), just to see what was there. I came across a thread that was discussing the benefits of going the vasectomy route over tubal ligation, etc, and...well obviously I wasn't going to like that thread very much. And then there was another one with a pretty innocuous title about an early Christmas present or something, and the early Christmas present was "no more babies!" because she had just finished some procedure that rendered her sterile. I realize not everyone shares my beliefs, but I just find it so depressing when people are so anti-children. I don't know how I'd feel if I heard my mom rejoicing because she wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore. I think it'd sort of make me feel like I wasn't exactly such a wonderful thing to her, if that makes any sense.

The whole sex-saturated society in which we live just sometimes really gets me down. It's not good for anyone. Not to say sex isn't good, because obviously it is -- but within the confines of a marriage, and with the right intention. Even within marriage, sex isn't supposed to be just some lustful thing done for each person's individual pleasure. It's supposed to be a unitive thing, as well as procreative. Obviously this isn't to say that every married couple is required to have 20 children or anything like that. But...I don't know, it's just sad for me to hear everyone say "Oh we have a boy and a girl now, so our family is complete and perfect." If my parents had said that, I wouldn't be here. But the ultimate end of life isn't to have lots of worry-free sex, believe it or not. It's not the only cause of this, but society has gone downhill in so many ways since contraception became widely available. Lots of people don't really want to believe that, but it's true. One of the biggest tragedies that has resulted is the legalization of abortion. It's such a terrible thing, and I just cannot wrap my mind around the thought process that people have that can make it ok to them. Even if it's a difficult decision, as I'll grant that it probably is for many people. They still make that decision, and it doesn't have to be that way. It shouldn't be that way.

There's just so much that seems wrong with our society. Sometimes it's overwhelming, hearing about this murder and that murder-suicide, the latest shooting, drug-addicted parents, extremely messed up celebrities getting more attention than, well, pretty much anything else it seems. Why do people do such horrible things to each other? I can't watch the news anymore, having to hear about robberies and mindless violence over petty things, and just depressing things in general.

It's hard for me, not really with these more serious things, but with the sex-obsessed aspect of society, because even among my friends and family, I'm sort of in the minority. Everyone lives his or her own life, and good for them and all, everyone has the right to choose what's right for them (although, ideally, they'll have decided what's right for them based on a conscience formed by something other than thin air, formed by something real and true and lasting). I know that my choices aren't what a lot of people would pick. But it's hard for me not to have support even among friends and family. Really, there are very few people to whom I can turn about this stuff who will be able to understand and empathize and yes, even agree. There's such a difference between people who'll just listen and people who listen and know exactly what you mean and where you're coming from. It's not just that I have to put up with stuff from society, which I can (and do) sometimes pretty effectively tune out, but it's also more prevalent than I'd like among those close to me. Not to say I dislike these people or anything; some of them are some of my closest friends (and some of them are extended family I rarely if ever see or talk to). But it's hard on days like today, when I feel like I'm the only one who cares about this stuff, the only one who wishes things were different. I know, I'm a horrible, judgmental, behind-the-times prude. I'd rather be that than someone else, than someone who accepts and embraces this culture such as it is.

Days like today, I sort of just want to go move into a cabin in the mountains, without TV or radio or any of that. Today hasn't been a wonderful day, really. (Although I did sell three books I listed on half.com last night, for over $30 total. So that's something, at least.) I'm sort of just waiting for the silver lining on things. For something to make me really happy. For bad things to stop. But you know what? Bad things don't stop. Because they're a part of life. I just wish I had a better outlook on things so that the bad things wouldn't seem so overwhelmingly prevalent.

Sorry.

A few things

Firstly, while last night was spent buying books up the wazoo (ridiculous. man), tonight was spent putting last semester's books onto half.com. It was only eight (and, interestingly, I had six classes last semester. Granted, there's a couple books I didn't sell for various reasons, but still. Let's say I had...11 books, for six classes, while this semester I have 21 for three. Huh?), but most are more than $5. So that's good. If they sell, of course. Let's hope that they do, because man oh man, I could use the money.

Speaking of money. I'm going to the March for Life, and am getting ridiculously excited about it. What does that have to do with money? Well, I'll tell you. As I may have mentioned, I'm sort of broke at the moment. You know how with lots of things that cost money (at least things that are church-related, or school-related, in my experience) they say "If this is a financial hardship, blah blah blah"? I figured, I've never really been in a situation where I really needed to...utilize that offer. But I sort of...am, at the moment. So, yeah. I mean, I still expect to pay a chunk of it, but anything will be nicer than nothing. And, I'm going to the March for Life! AND I'm going on the medium-sized trip (there's one that leaves Friday the 18th, one Saturday the 19th, and one Monday the 21st), which means I'll get there Sunday morning and have Sunday to go to Mass and stuff (not sure what time we'll get there, or where exactly we'll be, but maybe...maybe...I could go to Mass at the National Basilica (sorry...Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception). Probably not, but whatever. And Monday? All freed up to spend sightseeing in DC! At which point, hopefully, I'll at least get to visit the Basilica (maybe hit up a daily Mass there or something). And other places. And then Tuesday? The March! Which is, obviously, the whole point, and the best part. And one of my lovely wonderful awesome amazing beautiful friends, Gail, is coming too! Which just makes it all so much better. I'm excited. And that Monday and Tuesday of classes I'll be missing? Totally university-excused. Awesome.

And I just heard about this. I don't know what time we're going to have to be back to the buses after the March, but I'd like to try to stop by there afterward, at that tea thing with Dawn Eden. Just because it'd be cool. But who knows. Anyway. Good times, people, good times. You know, it's sort of intimidating, the whole March thing, from what I remember. But it's definitely an amazing experience, and I'm glad I will have gotten to go at least twice in my life. And it seems that there's starting to pop up Marches in other cities, too, that are getting bigger. Pretty exciting, if you ask me. Man, I'm excited.

Ok, Conan tonight? Amazing. I love Conan. Man I'd love to go to a taping of his show sometime. Seriously. And, awesome, I'm watching some episodes of The Office (season two, borrowed from Katherine for break so I can finally watch all the episodes as I think it's a fairly quality show but have only ever managed to catch episodes here and there), and he was randomly in the one I just watched! It was awesome. God I love him. (You know, I really should have a label just for Conan. And his red, red hair.)

Um...no.

The high today? Today, the third day of January, nicely sitting in the season that is wintertime? 60. 60 degrees, folks. And there's a good foot or more of new snow sitting on the ground back at school? Unacceptable. Sigh, Colorado Springs. You're so darned pretty, but so disappointing in the weather-area. Today would have been a really lovely day, though, I have to admit. Had it not been January. It was cloudy all or most of the day, and like I said, not cold at all, but the overcast-ness made the mountains look ridiculously beautiful, what with the little bits of snow all over and the pretty mountain part showing where the snow isn't. It's really pretty. I love overcast days like today, when there's even a little bit of snow on the mountains. I love the mountains. Mmm.

So, I went to Border's tonight with my friend Cathy. At one point, we were perusing the calendars section, and you know what they have? They have calendars for the main presidential candidates. I mean, it's so weird. Who would want a calendar with Hillary's face on every page? Or Giuliani? Or McCain? Very very odd to me. But then, I'm the girl who would love to have this calendar:

Just lovely

Last night, I bought my books for the semester. I spent $75 and $96 respectively at amazon and half.com. I managed to find a $5 off coupon for half.com (although I had to set up a new account to do it). But for both those orders, the books themselves each were only like $60 or so (each meaning at each place). Of course, at Amazon it was $60 for only 7 books because there were a few I bought new so I could combine them and get free shipping (which probably saved me about as much money as I would have spent on a cheaper book but more shipping, so negligible at best anyway, but this way I have newer books and maybe I can sell them for more at the end of the semester. Or keep them, and just have nicer books). Sigh. I hate shipping.

I just hope I don't have any unexpected course packets I have to buy this semester. Because those are ridiculously priced at the stupid bookstore. I don't think I do, but you never know. Sometimes they spring these things on me at the last minute, and them I'm like, dude that sucks.

Anyway. The person who does the mailroom in Cavanaugh is gonna love me. 19 books, which means...14 or so different packages, as I have four grouped together from the Amazon order, and two that should be coming together from half (I managed to find a seller who was selling two of the books I need, which means on the second book I only had to pay 1.89 or something in shipping, instead of 3.49. But again, it barely made a difference because while I saved 1.60 there, I ended up getting a book that was around 1.50 more than the cheaper book I was going to get. So...yeah...barely even worth it. But hey, fewer packages to worry about, right?) And no, I don't know if it's 14 packages. I can't count, so I can't figure out how many it is. Well, I guess it's 15. That makes sense. Anyway.

Speaking of books, I'm reading Anne of Green Gables currently. I finished reading the second in the Chronicles of Narnia (at least, the second in the good arrangement, which means LWW comes first, then Prince Caspian. I'm not sure what the third is, as I left it at school, sadly, and can't remember). But man, they are some good books, and so quick to read. I don't know why I haven't read them all the way through yet. What's wrong with me? (Maybe it's partially because I love LWW so much, and have loved it since at least 7th grade, and I know that the other books won't ever have quite the same pull for me that that one does. But the second one didn't disappoint, so that's good. Not sure how I'm going to handle having to get used to new main characters after the original foursome leave, after the third book. I missed the animal characters from the first book when reading the second, but oh well. That's life, I guess.) I love the version I have, which include the books all separated and quite small. We've had this version of LWW since I was little, and then sophomore year or so I decided I wanted to get the whole series, but as I tend to dislike carrying around huge books if I can avoid it, I didn't just want to get one book with all the stories. So I looked on Ebay for the series, hoping to find the version that matched the LWW that we already had, as I quite like that version. And lo and behold, I found it! I was quite excited. And I think I got it pretty cheaply too, something like $10 or 15. Anyway. Good times. I don't have to buy the Chronicles for my Lewis class this semester now, either, so that's a good thing. Obviously I'll have a different version than probably everyone, but it's still the same story. I'm excited for that class. I've always wanted to read more CS Lewis. One of the new books I got from Amazon last night was The Complete CS Lewis Signature Classics. I think, by getting it new, I paid around $2 more than I would have had I got it used (I think including the shipping difference, too, especially as I would have had more than $25 worth of free shipping eligible stuff even without it), but I figured that it'd be nice to have that new, because I think I'll want to keep it an enjoy it. And there's something lovely about a nice new book. Although, for me that can backfire because I like new things to stay looking new, and if I use them, they don't end up looking new. I'm less afraid to use used books. But oh well.

Also speaking of reading, the other night I put a bunch of books on CD on hold at the library. I had wanted to get the Lord of the Rings on CD to listen to on my way back to school, as it'll be a long and lonely drive. After some research, I have found that there's only one version unabridged, and the rest are a bunch of abridged versions. Seeing as how I've never read the books, and part of my reason for wanting to get them on CD is so I can actually "read" them and know the story as the books tell them, not just as they are in the movies, I don't know how much I really want to get an abridged version. And seeing as how on ebay the unabridged versions are going for way more than I have available to spend right now (most of them for at least $80), I'm thinking that I won't be getting the Lord of the Rings to listen to on my way back. But. I decided to expand my horizons, and so at the library I have many books on CD on hold now. I just have to decide which one(s) I want to bring back with me (which I'll then have to ship back, but it's cheaper than buying it). One of them is 1776, written (and read) by David McCullough, who I've heard many good things about. I've wanted to read that book (and his book on John Adams) for awhile. So I'll bring that with me. And then I have a few other things, both fiction and non, including one or two books I have to read this semester for one or two of my classes. Figured I might be able to get that somewhat out of the way. Not exactly, but somewhat. I just want to make sure I have stuff that'll keep me awake and engaged, so I'm going to bring a few with me just in case one starts to put me to sleep or something. Since that would be pretty much the opposite effect from what I want. But anyway. Should be interesting. I've never really listened to a book on tape. I'm not sure how it'll work, me being the type of person who likes to see things rather than just listen to them (especially when it comes to being read to in class. Unless it's something interesting. And hopefully these will be interesting, so they'll work for me).

Well. That's enough book-talk for now, I suppose. But hey, know what? I'm excited for this semester. Even if I did have to buy 20 books for 3 classes. I'm especially excited about CS Lewis. A subject I'm interested in, and a professor that I know I very much enjoy. Good times.

Taking bets

So, today or last night, my dad asked me how the power cord thing is going, seeing if it was still charging as it ideally should and whatnot. I said it was working fine, as I would expect since both it and the motherboard into which it connects were replaced less than a month ago. So what did I notice today? Occasionally, my screen's been flickering as if there's a loose connection somewhere on the power cord. I thought it was where the power cord plugged into the wall, but no. And it's not where that part plugs into the HUGE box part of the power cord. Which leaves...where the power cord plugs into the motherboard. So, that's cool. I wonder how long it'll last this time before it gets unbearable. Would be great if I could get it to last until graduation. But I fear that may be a bit too ambitious. I mean, come on, a Dell replacement motherboard lasting more than...well, what's my average? 4 months? So hey, maybe I'll make it.

In other far more important news, Conan has a beard! And he's back! Woohoo!!!

We spent a whole class period talking about this!

You know, as sometimes annoying as my film class was last year, I did learn some pretty interesting things about movie-making and whatnot. Including learning about tracking shots. It's something you don't really notice until it's pointed out (at least, I didn't before we learned about them -- and about things like how Fred Astaire liked to have his major dance sequences done in one take. Although I might have learned that for the Internet. But I know we talked about that in class, too), but they're pretty cool, and...um...I got sidetracked and forgot what I was going to say to finish this sentence. Anyway. The point is, there were some cool things we learned/looked at in that class. It wasn't all watching craptacular movies on Monday nights.

This makes me sad

Look at all those pretty pictures of my pretty campus with lots of pretty snow. And here I am, like a sucker, in the precipitation-less bubble that is Colorado Springs, with the 1st of many many days of sun we'll have this year. Ok, that's pretty pretty too, but still. It's not snowing. I like me some snow. I don't like me some sun. Usually. Perhaps it's precisely because I've lived in the 300-days-of-sun-a-year Colorado Springs, but I have the opposite reaction to sunny days vs cloudy days from most people. As in, the latter makes me insanely happy, and the former makes me sort of sad. Sometimes. Depending. And sun doesn't necessarily make me sad, but if given the choice, 9 times out of 10 I'll pick cloudy over sunny. Especially when it's winter, and when cloudy includes snowy. Mmm. And by the way, aren't you jealous at how pretty my school is? And about the fact that my school has webcams? Hahaha. Good times.

Edit: Ok, so the pictures of campus are apparently updating themselves because of the way I linked them. So as of right now (two hours after I originally posted this -- wow, exactly two hours), the snow and whatnot is actually worse than it was when I first put them on here. I could actually and easily see the dome and basilica in that first shot. Hm. Which also means that at another time, they'll look different. Well, here.


Ok I saved the pictures as they are now. So now there's an updated version and a lovely snowy version. Man I wish I were there. Or I wish it were snowing like that here. I love snow. And it's especially nice at school because I never have to drive anywhere. I just have to wear my hiking boots which moonlight as my snow boots. And I have no idea what's up with that weird box at the end of this post. Not sure if other people can see it, but I can and it's bothering me. But I can't delete it. I want to. Oh well. I just won't look at my blog. There. Solved it.