Randomicity

Split infinitives abound.

Life is loud.

Resolution to go to bed by 11pm is not working too well. So far...probably less than five days I've actually managed that. And two of those were probably when I was sick. I'm pathetic. But also, giving up Internet for Lent should definitely help with this. Or I'll just renew my love of reading and stay up late doing that.

We did inventory at work today. I don't mind it as much as other people seem to, but even still, by the time I left work this evening, I was incredibly tense and stressed. Maybe it was just too much people and noise and stuff. And the worrying all day that I was entering numbers or quantities incorrectly. Who knows. At least tomorrow's Friday.

I'm about to reveal my true patheticness: A few weeks ago, I wasted $60 and joined CatholicMatch. I really should have continued to listen to myself and not do that, but it was a moment of weakness (probably at a high joining time for them, too, right between Christmas and New Year's). Yeah, it's only been a few weeks, but all it's been so far is a big fat disappointment. Just another venue for guys - now all over the country, not just local - to ignore me. Or maybe notice, but quickly decide I'm not who they're looking for. So, whatever. There's no one in town, there's no one in the country (who's online, at least) who wants me. Oh well. Just sucks, you know? (Yeah, I know, a few weeks isn't much, but...well, get into my head, and you'll understand. Maybe.) (Also, I haven't been terribly impressed with the Catholicity of many people on there. There's another Catholic site that I think tends toward more orthodoxy in its members, and I know someone who actually met and is now dating a guy through that site. But it'd be even more to join that one, and I just...I don't think I'm the type of person that does well with online relationships.) I am so sick of being alone, though. 23 years is more than plenty. I don't want to do it anymore. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, unless I greatly reduce my standards (and even then). As many guys as I may like in my life, it won't matter unless he likes me back.

Anyway.

I need to make an appointment to see my doctor about my ear. I'm sick of avoiding sleeping on my right side for fear that when I wake up in the morning, I won't be able to hear out of my right ear (temporarily). And I'm sick of not being able to hear well out of it after my shower when I get water in it. It's annoying. It usually only stays that way for five, ten minutes (hard to tell how long because rarely do you notice when you can hear well, as opposed to not hearing well), but it's always annoying when it's like that. So I think I better go to the doctor and have them clean it out, figure out what's doing that. How gross would it be to find out I have like a bug in there or something? Haha, I know that's totally not the case, but still. I must have tons of wax in there. (I try to clean it out! Really! And I don't use q-tips, because you're not supposed to put those in your ears!) Gross. The only problem is, I work a 9-5 mon-fri job, and so do most people (like doctors' offices). Maybe they have early hours, and I could go before work one day. I considered seeing if I could get my wisdom teeth pulled a little later in the day, and make it a whole day of doctor-fun, going to see about my ear and then following that up with some oral surgery, but then I just said "ok" when the scheduler lady said 8:45 for the teeth. I might still call and see if I can go before that. I guess I should just call, huh? Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned? I'm getting the teeth taken out on the 30th. Friday morning, so I have a full weekend to recover. And hopefully not get dry socket. Exciting, no?

Also, I'm in the midst of applying to grad school. The JPII Institute, of course. I don't know if it's the right thing to do (actually going; applying doesn't hurt anything except, perhaps, my stress levels, and maybe my dignity when I don't get accepted), but if I don't at least apply, I'll keep wondering about it. At least this way, even if I get rejected, I can have it out of my system. I told God to let me be accepted if it's where he wants me to go, and if that's not where I'm supposed to go, I get rejected. I suspect it won't be as easy as that in reality, though (well, unless I do get rejected - that's pretty cut and dry). I mean, there are tons of reasons why it doesn't make sense to go (job, friends, Gravity, family, mountains, life) (and, come on, DC? Their winters are milder than here. I should be looking at going to...North Dakota or something). But I'm at least applying. At least I can say I'm doing something to try to figure out my life.

My life, which is not getting enough knitting time lately. I have a week before the birthday of the recipient of my current project, and I still have ways to go to be done. No way it gets finished by next Saturday. Oh well.