I can't remember the last time I blogged. Was it pre-March? I think so. So, the March for Life was cool. The Vigil Mass the night before was, as usual, awesome, breathtakingly beautiful, wonderful. I did one of the petitions - terrifying. (I don't even like to speak in front of my class. My 12-person class. Of people I know. The Shrine? Had upwards of 10,000 people packed in. Plus more watching on EWTN. Ick.) Went ok, though, and because of it I got a fairly good seat. (Well, any of the seats I would have gotten would have been good, as my place of work allows me a seat up on the altar. Super awesome.) I love that Mass. Seeing the nearly 600 seminarians process in is one of my favorite things. It does give a girl reason to hope. (Well, it doesn't really give a single girl reason to hope, in a sense, because...all those wonderful, holy young Catholic men! But they're giving their lives to God, as it should be, so clearly none of them would have been for me anyway.) Seminarians are beautiful people. The end.
Also, the scarf I had been wearing that day, and which was in my purse under my chair at Mass, still smelled like incense the next day. So that made me happy. I love smelling like Church.
And the next day was the March, which in my case involved a four-mile pre-march (in heeled boots, no less) because by the time my classmates and I got down to the Metro, we realized that if we waited for alllllll the people in front of us (who were still waiting to get down into the station, let alone on the platform, let alone on one of the already-crowded trains that were stopping there), we might actually miss the March! So we walked. From CUA. Four miles. Took us about an hour at a fairly good clip, and boy, my feet were feeling it. I chose the heeled boots that day because it was fairly cold (below 30), and they're warmer than my sneakers. I was also only planning to be walking the mile, mile and a half it takes to get from the Mall to the Supreme Court. Four miles? Definitely not on my itinerary. But that's ok. What's a few blisters and sore feet?
I got to hang out with two Colorado friends and their friends, a few of whom I've met before, so that was fun. Long day, though, since I had class in the morning before the March.
OH. AND. It's amazing that anywhere from 200,000-400,000 people (no one really does an official estimate) can congregate and march and close down streets of downtown DC for hours, and it gets next to zero press. The only mainstream media articles I saw on it were a link from someone to an article about it on CNN's religion section (which I don't even know how to GET to from their main page), and something else maybe in the Washington Post or something. But seriously. It's amazing how ignored this is. I didn't even hear them mention it on the radio that morning, even just as a heads-up to people that those areas would be closed and crowded. Nothing. It's so bizarre to me. But considering how relatively little press last week's Philly abortionist story got, I guess it's not really surprising.
Nothing else much going on this week. Yesterday was interesting, as we had a storm move through the area. Didn't really start until around 3, which is conveniently right around when I was leaving work. (My plan had been just to go in for a few hours and leave at 1 or 2 so I could miss the storm and the people leaving early to miss the storm, but then I just ended up staying until almost three for some odd reason.) The drive home, which on a bad day takes an hour, took an hour and a half. And that's the best of anyone I've talked to. I know people who took two hours, 2.5, 4. To go...not really all that many miles. But when I left work, it was misting. Then it started all-out raining. Then it was hailing/sleeting/ice pelleting. And then it eventually started snowing, big, wet, heavy flakes. And the roads were clogged with everyone trying to leave early to beat the storm, plus when roads get wet around here people freak out like they've never seen water before. So, that was fun. Thankfully traffic here doesn't typically get me upset, and I had my music to listen to (and no one in the car to be embarrassed about singing and sometimes dancing in front of). The snow fell for hours last night, and really got my hopes up for a snow day today, but I didn't really truly believe that would happen. It was too wet, and not cold enough for the roads to be impassible. And sure enough, when I woke up school had a delay (CUA opened at noon, which means my morning class - the only one I had today - was canceled), and work was delayed two hours, but no snow day. So to work I went. Wasn't too bad, though - and thankfully, since so many people didn't go to work today in general, the commute there and back was practically heavenly!
And now it's once again almost the weekend. And I realized that Valentine's Day is in a few weeks. Normally I don't care a whit about Valentines Day, but sometimes it just sucks. Last year? I had to sit at home while one roommate got ready and went out with her boyfriend, and while another had two friends come over and they all got ready together and then their husbands/boyfriend came to pick them up to go out. And I...had nothing. It's a dumb day, and I don't think I'd care much about it if I weren't single, but when I'm blatantly single and can't avoid those who aren't single, it can be rather depressing. Jury's still out how this year will turn out. I sort of just want to go find a hole to sit in that weekend/day so I can avoid any references to it. Every year, the number of people with whom I can commiserate that day gets smaller and smaller...
At least I have my knitting to distract me. Oh, knitting. Where would I be without you?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Things that make today good
We're all about the positivity here, folks!
(I'll give you a moment while you compose yourself.)
It's worth it though. So, wish me luck! :-)
PS. Sorry about all the knitting talk. Maybe it's like how some people talk about their kids all the time. I don't have kids. I have knitting projects. Such is life. And when I'm knitting? Life is good.
(I'll give you a moment while you compose yourself.)
- I heard that Sharpie has these new pens - not markers, but actual pens, and in fine tip too! (I loves me some fine tip. My favorite pens are Pilot G2 gel pens with a .38 tip, which are hard to find. The Sharpie ones are .5, which is acceptable.) So I went to Staples today, since it's next door to the grocery store and I had to get some milk anyway. I just wanted to see if I could find them. Well, lo and behold I did, and I also grabbed a thing of my favorite pens (except, the .5mm tips, since I've only ever seen the .38s at Office Depot). Imagine my surprise when I got to the register, paid, and realized that I was charged about $6 less than I had expected! They must have been running a special because when I looked at the receipt, the non-Sharpie pens were listed as $0.00, and the negative amount of what they were below it, like a discount. 100% discount. haha. So, that was pretty exciting.
- I also got some yarn on sale. Some luscious, beautifully soft yarn that I just want to rub against my face forever. Alpaca yarn is quickly becoming a favorite. Dude. Feel some. It's amazing. I think I'm going to start making cowls because cowls maximize the yarn-on-skin ratio. And for some reason they're super in right now. I'm very excited about this.
- Yarn. It just makes me delight in life. To think, not even a year ago I had barely made anything that wasn't 100% acrylic. I still have and use acrylic yarn (such as the blanket sitting in my lap as we speak, which I've been working on since NOVEMBER and on which I have four rows to go - but because of the pattern, this means probably still another two hours of work to put into it), but I've been majorly branching out the past few months and getting different types of yarn. Better yarn. Nice yarn. More expensive, yes, but it's so worth it. And compared to other things, not so bad. Especially when you consider the use one can get out of a nice piece of knitted something. I'd be interested (and scared) to see how much I've actually spent on yarn since I moved to Alexandria (which is when the yarn hoarding really started, thanks to my close proximity to a beautiful, wonderful, filled-with-deliciousness yarn store a few miles down the road). Which has also, incidentally, led me to find a few favorite online yarn stores. Including one that's located in Colorado! But sadly, she has not a physical store. Plus, she's in Boulder or somewhere around there. Lovely, lovely yarn, though. Terrible for my bank account. (I know, I know, I'm a terrible person for how much yarn I have and buy. But if it weren't for my knitting, I don't think I'd still be sane. Also, I'd be a lot more boring. Also, knitting is a useful skill not just for me, but for everyone! My goal is to knit blankets for as many people as I can. So far, I've done...11, I think, excluding baby blankets, and mostly in the last year and a half. Still have quite a few people I owe. Not that they know it. :-) )
- Have I mentioned that knitting delights me? Not just delights. It...completes me, in some ways. Sometimes I'll be sitting in class or somewhere, and I think about knitting, and it seriously uplifts me, somehow. I know it sounds dumb. It probably is. But the joy I get from it is crazy, and wonderful, and I'm so thankful I taught myself those...however many years ago. It amazes me that I can still increase my enjoyment of it - in December, I tried out this kind of needle I'd never used before, and my goodness how much I love it. I really want to get the whole set, because it makes knitting so much better - which is saying something! I also taught myself a new way to hold my yarn, and it just slips through my fingers so delightfully now that it's often hard to get myself to stop. (Which has caused multiple too-late nights for me. Like, a lot. Really.) And today? I knit a lot today. Mostly because I want to get this mondo blanket done. I hope it turns out well, or at least well enough that the recipient is pleased with it. But if not, oh well. It's a pattern I had wanted to try, and now I've tried it. That's something, at least.
- Large checks going into bank accounts. Specifically, my bank account. Now if I could just stop the yarn madness for the rest of the semester, I'll be pretty good with things. Ignoring the fact that said large check is a loan, which means it'll have to be paid back. But that's what jobs are for. And jobs are hopefully what this master's degree will get me. Although I can't imagine pro-life organizations will have many high-paying jobs, if they even have available jobs. But that part's up to God, I suppose. And I'll just be paying loans for awhile.
- Watching Little Women and other wonderful uplifting movies. Although, the last line of that movie is SO CHEESY. But maybe it's just because I'm too cynical. And have never been in love. Who the heck knows?
- I wrote all the above much earlier this evening. That blanket I mentioned? It's done now. But the two hours I was thinking it would take turned into more like...five. Ugh. And the edging is too tight, so it doesn't lay as flat as I would like at the edge. But my hands are pissed at me for doing so much knitting today, and I'm not about to take out all...hundreds of stitches (I think 576 total on the outside row) and redo the bind-off edge. But I finished it. And that makes today good.
It's worth it though. So, wish me luck! :-)
PS. Sorry about all the knitting talk. Maybe it's like how some people talk about their kids all the time. I don't have kids. I have knitting projects. Such is life. And when I'm knitting? Life is good.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Send Invisibility Cloak
I've always been an introvert in the extreme.
When I was young, my parents would occasionally have people over (for meetings, Marriage Encounter stuff, etc).
I never wanted to interact with these people. Sometimes, I'd hide upstairs, or I'd stay in the family room and hope people didn't walk through the kitchen much (since the family room is visible from the kitchen).
Those times when I'd hide in my room? Occasionally I needed to go downstairs for something. But this presented a problem, since the end of the staircase was right across our "foyer" (such as it is) from the living room, where the meetings were inevitably held. Which meant - duhn duhn duhn - that at least some of the people in there would see me if I went down the stairs.
I came up with a solution to this, however. The railings that go up half the staircase have large slots between them. The biggest one is the furthest up, between where the railing ends and the upstairs wall begins. (This has been for years referred to as the "dog head hole". And the dogs know it.) The drop is probably at most five feet at that point, but probably less. So, you can probably guess where I'm going with this.
Instead of having to be seen for the three seconds I might be if I used the stairs like a regular person, I took to climbing through that slot in the railing. This resulted in the occasional scratch or bruise, since graceful I am not, but it got the job done.
All because I was deathly afraid of having my existence proven to the handful of people in the living room.
I would just like to acknowledge right now that the girl in that story is still alive and well. Perhaps not so extreme, but still preferring invisibility over comfort.
That is all.
When I was young, my parents would occasionally have people over (for meetings, Marriage Encounter stuff, etc).
I never wanted to interact with these people. Sometimes, I'd hide upstairs, or I'd stay in the family room and hope people didn't walk through the kitchen much (since the family room is visible from the kitchen).
Those times when I'd hide in my room? Occasionally I needed to go downstairs for something. But this presented a problem, since the end of the staircase was right across our "foyer" (such as it is) from the living room, where the meetings were inevitably held. Which meant - duhn duhn duhn - that at least some of the people in there would see me if I went down the stairs.
I came up with a solution to this, however. The railings that go up half the staircase have large slots between them. The biggest one is the furthest up, between where the railing ends and the upstairs wall begins. (This has been for years referred to as the "dog head hole". And the dogs know it.) The drop is probably at most five feet at that point, but probably less. So, you can probably guess where I'm going with this.
Instead of having to be seen for the three seconds I might be if I used the stairs like a regular person, I took to climbing through that slot in the railing. This resulted in the occasional scratch or bruise, since graceful I am not, but it got the job done.
All because I was deathly afraid of having my existence proven to the handful of people in the living room.
I would just like to acknowledge right now that the girl in that story is still alive and well. Perhaps not so extreme, but still preferring invisibility over comfort.
That is all.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Esplode
I have this really long post I've been writing for three days regarding abortion. (And then it devolves into the general mess that is Our Society.)
I should just post it, because it says what I want to say right now, but it's so all over the place and I'd prefer to clean it up first. Which means I'll probably never post it, because I do this a lot - start a post that I really want to post, and keep adding, and then never actually hit "publish" for this that or the other reason.
Basically, though, what it boils down to right now is that our society, man, it's totally just bumming me out. Today was a rough day (because it's been a rough two weeks, what with the Constant Class and the Trying to Work 20 Hours and the shuffling back and forth between the two and never just relaxing, except when I'm home, where I over-relax and end up being under-productive). On Tuesday I had a review session in the morning (before which I worked), and then went back to work, and then went back to school for class, and then went back to work, and then went back to school for another class. If I didn't work right across the street from where I go to school, and if my work wasn't so flexible with hours, I wouldn't be able to have a job right now, plain and simple. Unless I found somewhere to work weekends, I guess. Wednesday I just worked all day. Today I did Mass, class, work, class, work, home. Tomorrow will be pretty much the same. Classes are two hours apart, so I usually get in about 1.5 hours when I work between them, which isn't much time to get things of significance done. Especially when things of significance are given to me ten minutes before I have to leave again. It's this constant...ugh. Anyway. It's stressful. It won't be this bad all semester, but one of my classes has this weird condensed schedule because it's taught by three different professors and one of them flies in from Nebraska, so we have it four days in a row starting today, and then again next month, and some other weird time in a couple weeks with the second prof, and then three Wednesdays in March with the third professor. It'll be almost nice when we don't have it. But of course, when work is at its absolute busiest, and when I'll have to be working all day Sunday, it's one of our four-day sessions. Sigh. Anyway.
Point is, I was already just...tired. Exhausted. All that jazz.
And then I just feel bombarded by all these news stories and things of just the deplorable state we're in. The abortionist in Philadelphia who's charged with murder (because he killed at least two women, and also killed at least seven live-born babies - but based on the Grand Jury report, much of which I've read, it seems like it was status quo for a lot of the babies not to be aborted in the womb, but to be given birth to and then killed after being born. Which, really, shouldn't make a difference because murder is murder, but in this country right now as long as the baby is still in the womb, it's not illegal). Divorce. Homosexual behavior. A new MTV show that's basically pornographic, and using teenage actors. A famous couple announcing they have a new baby, born through a "gestational carrier", ironically named Faith.
Nothing really new, when you think about it, but maybe my shield that helps deflect some of this stuff isn't up right now. Maybe everything I'm learning here is making me more susceptible to it because I can see so acutely, so painfully what all these things are doing to us, and how we got here - and where we're likely headed if we don't stop.
I just can't take it.
I'm tempted to say I really shouldn't have read that grand jury report, because, oh my gosh if you want to be disturbed, that's the thing to read. But sometimes we need to be shaken so we don't get complacent. We're too complacent to this stuff. I mean, two weeks ago a shooter walked into a crowd, shot 20 people, killed 6 of them. And we as a country rightly stood up and shouted. Of course, some people shouted at the wrong things, blaming everything but the actual shooter. But we all recognized the evil that was there, at least. Why isn't there that level of outrage for the abortionist? Why are those six people who were killed in Arizona remembered and mourned more publicly, more dramatically, than the dozens, hundreds, probably thousands of lives taken by this man in Philadelphia? When the story broke yesterday, I kept looking to see if CNN would report it. They finally did - hours and hours after I first heard about it. And then it was just a small headline, low in their list of "top headlines." Most people probably agree, I would hope, that it's a gruesome story. But abortion has been legal for so long, I think, that stories like this bounce off of most people. I think it's easy for people to say, "Well, it's sad, but...they were just babies." Or something like that. I don't know. Maybe they don't even think about it. But the fact is, not only did he endanger women who went to him (most of whom were minority, and/or low income) - seriously harming and even killing some - he cut the spinal cord of alive, moving, breathing babies. For multiple years. Not some random act of crazy. Methodical, frequent evil.
Where's the outrage?
And one of the terrible aspects of the story (as if there's not enough already), is that people knew about it. They knew about the conditions. They knew what he was doing. Hospitals, authority figures, abortion regulation officials, etc. They knew about it. And did nothing. We all know why, though some might want to deny it. And we know why it's not getting more press. Because it's about abortion. And this is just one more story exposing the fruits of abortion for what it is - blatant murder. Those who push for and promote abortion often - not all, obviously, but often - don't have the health of women in mind. They have money in mind. Abortion is ridiculously lucrative for those who do it. Yes, I'm oversimplifying here. But that doesn't make it untrue.
Ugh this whole thing makes me sick. We live in a sick, sick world. I know there's beauty here. I know not everyone is terrible. I know there's goodness, and joy, and I know I need to do a better job of absorbing that instead of all this awful stuff I see. But it's like everywhere I turn, I'm bombarded by sex, divorce, abortion. Maybe I should stop going to CNN for news, because I swear, literally every day there's some article up there on their front page about "better sex" or something sex-related. I'm so sick of it. If people would stop having sex outside of marriage, that would reduce the abortion rate, for sure.
And you know what's ridiculous? This doctor, all those babies he killed? If Obama had his way, even that wouldn't be illegal. He voted in Illinois for doctors to be able to kill babies born from botched abortions, even viable ones (which most of the babies this doctor killed were). Our president wanted that to be legal. It makes me sick.
How are we supposed to fight against this? How on earth can we ever make this right? It's all so entrenched in our society, the sex, the culture of death, the rampant pornography, little accountability and personal responsibility, divorce, the pro-gay culture (and Lord help you if you try to go against it or say that it's wrong, because you're sure to be labeled hate-filled, intolerant, and homophobic).
Sorry. I'm feeling a little helpless right now. And this post is as disjointed as that one I haven't posted yet. But that one has links to interesting/angering articles. And links to people who say it all so much better than I do (and who are therefore much more effective at maybe changing hearts than I ever will be). So maybe I'll work on it and make it a little bit better and more persuasive and less...ah...emotional? reactive? and post it soon.
But seriously, people. I feel like I'm just screaming with no voice. And there's no way anyone's going to hear me. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, who recognizes what's going on and wants to stop it. But it feels like those of us who are trying amount to a hummingbird trying to stop a moving train. Maybe even an eagle. Either way, that train's just going to keep on coming.
I want to feel better about our society. I don't want to see it as some spiraling mess, moving ever closer to collapse. I want to have hope! I know that there's always hope and joy and beauty in Jesus, and I do take comfort in that. But we're looking more and more like Sodom and Gomorrah, and it's only a matter of time before God says enough is enough. (Not that he's not still all loving and all good and wonderful. But we make our choices, too.)
Ok. I spewed enough. I feel a little bit better now. Sometimes I just need to get it out, and I hate actually talking to people about this stuff when I'm in this mood because we all know how terrible it is, and my talking to people only makes me more Debbie Downerish than I already am. Anyone still reading this, you chose it! Hahaha.
God is good. (And hopefully he'll be merciful to us all who continue to sit by and let this all happen.)
I should just post it, because it says what I want to say right now, but it's so all over the place and I'd prefer to clean it up first. Which means I'll probably never post it, because I do this a lot - start a post that I really want to post, and keep adding, and then never actually hit "publish" for this that or the other reason.
Basically, though, what it boils down to right now is that our society, man, it's totally just bumming me out. Today was a rough day (because it's been a rough two weeks, what with the Constant Class and the Trying to Work 20 Hours and the shuffling back and forth between the two and never just relaxing, except when I'm home, where I over-relax and end up being under-productive). On Tuesday I had a review session in the morning (before which I worked), and then went back to work, and then went back to school for class, and then went back to work, and then went back to school for another class. If I didn't work right across the street from where I go to school, and if my work wasn't so flexible with hours, I wouldn't be able to have a job right now, plain and simple. Unless I found somewhere to work weekends, I guess. Wednesday I just worked all day. Today I did Mass, class, work, class, work, home. Tomorrow will be pretty much the same. Classes are two hours apart, so I usually get in about 1.5 hours when I work between them, which isn't much time to get things of significance done. Especially when things of significance are given to me ten minutes before I have to leave again. It's this constant...ugh. Anyway. It's stressful. It won't be this bad all semester, but one of my classes has this weird condensed schedule because it's taught by three different professors and one of them flies in from Nebraska, so we have it four days in a row starting today, and then again next month, and some other weird time in a couple weeks with the second prof, and then three Wednesdays in March with the third professor. It'll be almost nice when we don't have it. But of course, when work is at its absolute busiest, and when I'll have to be working all day Sunday, it's one of our four-day sessions. Sigh. Anyway.
Point is, I was already just...tired. Exhausted. All that jazz.
And then I just feel bombarded by all these news stories and things of just the deplorable state we're in. The abortionist in Philadelphia who's charged with murder (because he killed at least two women, and also killed at least seven live-born babies - but based on the Grand Jury report, much of which I've read, it seems like it was status quo for a lot of the babies not to be aborted in the womb, but to be given birth to and then killed after being born. Which, really, shouldn't make a difference because murder is murder, but in this country right now as long as the baby is still in the womb, it's not illegal). Divorce. Homosexual behavior. A new MTV show that's basically pornographic, and using teenage actors. A famous couple announcing they have a new baby, born through a "gestational carrier", ironically named Faith.
Nothing really new, when you think about it, but maybe my shield that helps deflect some of this stuff isn't up right now. Maybe everything I'm learning here is making me more susceptible to it because I can see so acutely, so painfully what all these things are doing to us, and how we got here - and where we're likely headed if we don't stop.
I just can't take it.
I'm tempted to say I really shouldn't have read that grand jury report, because, oh my gosh if you want to be disturbed, that's the thing to read. But sometimes we need to be shaken so we don't get complacent. We're too complacent to this stuff. I mean, two weeks ago a shooter walked into a crowd, shot 20 people, killed 6 of them. And we as a country rightly stood up and shouted. Of course, some people shouted at the wrong things, blaming everything but the actual shooter. But we all recognized the evil that was there, at least. Why isn't there that level of outrage for the abortionist? Why are those six people who were killed in Arizona remembered and mourned more publicly, more dramatically, than the dozens, hundreds, probably thousands of lives taken by this man in Philadelphia? When the story broke yesterday, I kept looking to see if CNN would report it. They finally did - hours and hours after I first heard about it. And then it was just a small headline, low in their list of "top headlines." Most people probably agree, I would hope, that it's a gruesome story. But abortion has been legal for so long, I think, that stories like this bounce off of most people. I think it's easy for people to say, "Well, it's sad, but...they were just babies." Or something like that. I don't know. Maybe they don't even think about it. But the fact is, not only did he endanger women who went to him (most of whom were minority, and/or low income) - seriously harming and even killing some - he cut the spinal cord of alive, moving, breathing babies. For multiple years. Not some random act of crazy. Methodical, frequent evil.
Where's the outrage?
And one of the terrible aspects of the story (as if there's not enough already), is that people knew about it. They knew about the conditions. They knew what he was doing. Hospitals, authority figures, abortion regulation officials, etc. They knew about it. And did nothing. We all know why, though some might want to deny it. And we know why it's not getting more press. Because it's about abortion. And this is just one more story exposing the fruits of abortion for what it is - blatant murder. Those who push for and promote abortion often - not all, obviously, but often - don't have the health of women in mind. They have money in mind. Abortion is ridiculously lucrative for those who do it. Yes, I'm oversimplifying here. But that doesn't make it untrue.
Ugh this whole thing makes me sick. We live in a sick, sick world. I know there's beauty here. I know not everyone is terrible. I know there's goodness, and joy, and I know I need to do a better job of absorbing that instead of all this awful stuff I see. But it's like everywhere I turn, I'm bombarded by sex, divorce, abortion. Maybe I should stop going to CNN for news, because I swear, literally every day there's some article up there on their front page about "better sex" or something sex-related. I'm so sick of it. If people would stop having sex outside of marriage, that would reduce the abortion rate, for sure.
And you know what's ridiculous? This doctor, all those babies he killed? If Obama had his way, even that wouldn't be illegal. He voted in Illinois for doctors to be able to kill babies born from botched abortions, even viable ones (which most of the babies this doctor killed were). Our president wanted that to be legal. It makes me sick.
How are we supposed to fight against this? How on earth can we ever make this right? It's all so entrenched in our society, the sex, the culture of death, the rampant pornography, little accountability and personal responsibility, divorce, the pro-gay culture (and Lord help you if you try to go against it or say that it's wrong, because you're sure to be labeled hate-filled, intolerant, and homophobic).
Sorry. I'm feeling a little helpless right now. And this post is as disjointed as that one I haven't posted yet. But that one has links to interesting/angering articles. And links to people who say it all so much better than I do (and who are therefore much more effective at maybe changing hearts than I ever will be). So maybe I'll work on it and make it a little bit better and more persuasive and less...ah...emotional? reactive? and post it soon.
But seriously, people. I feel like I'm just screaming with no voice. And there's no way anyone's going to hear me. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, who recognizes what's going on and wants to stop it. But it feels like those of us who are trying amount to a hummingbird trying to stop a moving train. Maybe even an eagle. Either way, that train's just going to keep on coming.
I want to feel better about our society. I don't want to see it as some spiraling mess, moving ever closer to collapse. I want to have hope! I know that there's always hope and joy and beauty in Jesus, and I do take comfort in that. But we're looking more and more like Sodom and Gomorrah, and it's only a matter of time before God says enough is enough. (Not that he's not still all loving and all good and wonderful. But we make our choices, too.)
Ok. I spewed enough. I feel a little bit better now. Sometimes I just need to get it out, and I hate actually talking to people about this stuff when I'm in this mood because we all know how terrible it is, and my talking to people only makes me more Debbie Downerish than I already am. Anyone still reading this, you chose it! Hahaha.
God is good. (And hopefully he'll be merciful to us all who continue to sit by and let this all happen.)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Decision: Made
I just decided something.
And it requires its own blog post, because it's That Big.
Once I finish this degree, I'm going to...
...print out all the patterns I've made/want to make, and put them in a binder, and organize them by type (blanket, hat, gloves, shawl, etc). Gosh. That'll be soooo nice to be all organized like that. Oh man. I'm so excited about this. Seriously. Maybe I'll put them all in their own plastic sleeves, maybe sleeves I can write on with marker and erase when I'm done. Sometimes I need to write or mark on the pattern I'm doing if I need to help myself keep track of where I am. And that way I wouldn't have to reprint every time I make a certain pattern.
Dudes, this is going to be awesome.
(But, alas, must wait until later.)
And it requires its own blog post, because it's That Big.
Once I finish this degree, I'm going to...
...print out all the patterns I've made/want to make, and put them in a binder, and organize them by type (blanket, hat, gloves, shawl, etc). Gosh. That'll be soooo nice to be all organized like that. Oh man. I'm so excited about this. Seriously. Maybe I'll put them all in their own plastic sleeves, maybe sleeves I can write on with marker and erase when I'm done. Sometimes I need to write or mark on the pattern I'm doing if I need to help myself keep track of where I am. And that way I wouldn't have to reprint every time I make a certain pattern.
Dudes, this is going to be awesome.
(But, alas, must wait until later.)
Semi-monthly update
I haven't updated in awhile.
-My life is too boring for this blog to be an "about me" blog.
-I get too caught up in things (and also am not very persuasive, nor do I do a better job than anyone else you might read) for this to be an "issues" blog.
-I just want to knit. And knitting always wins over blogging.
-Also, I should be more school-focused. (Like studying for comps right now, instead of writing in my blog.)
Quick update, I guess:
I got back a week ago. Proceeded to sit in two lectures a day, all week, for our "master class week." They were more or less interesting, but I think I would have preferred having actual classes. (Which, despite the workload I know I'll have, I am looking forward to.) Also had to fit in work during those two lectures every day, which made for some interesting hours. 45 minutes here, and hour and a half there, etc. Got a good chunk, though not the 20 I try to get every week.
Also had some interesting facebook conversations. And by "interesting" I mean hair-pulling-inducing. Why people think Facebook is an appropriate median to try to have a debate is beyond me. Sometimes I post "controversial" articles, but only in that they hit on controversial subjects - like, you know, anything to do with Catholic teaching, or abortion. In this case it was an article about the abortion rate in New York City, which was recently found to be 41%. A ridiculously high number, as I think most would agree. But of course it got all derailed, and crazy, and I ended up being defriended. Fine by me, as the only interaction I had with this person, really, was when he would respond to one of my "controversial" posts, as he and I are not of the same mind on many topics. Plus, there's a backstory there (which I think most reading this already know).
So that made my week...interesting. Ah, life.
This week classes start. I'm looking forward to it, as I mentioned, even though I'm a terrible student. I have two Christmas presents I never finished (and one I discovered I'm literally like three rows short of yarn to finish, so I either have to make it a tad shorter - and it's already not quite as long as I'd like it - or order a new skein of yarn to finish. And of course my local yarn store doesn't have that color in stock right now, so I'll have to order it from a website and wait for it to show up. I should have just bought more yarn when I initially ordered. Ugh. Stupid Susie. And then the other one is just taking FOREVER and I might just cut and run, call it good where it is), and a baby blanket I just started last week (which is fun, and going quickly, and is also much smaller than a regular blanket, which is a nice change). Not to mention all the other lovely patterns I want to do, and yarn I have and want to work with. But they'll all still be there in a few months, when I have more time to devote. I'm really going to have to limit myself this semester if I want to finish with a bang. I'm resigned that I may well have to re-take one of the comps question, assuming I fail one, but I'd really rather not have to. And I want to do well in general in my classes, which means doing the reading. And I should do the reading, just for my own general knowledge, because it's good for me and it's why I'm here.
Next Monday is the March for Life, which means next Sunday is a big day for my office. I'll be working all day (which is ok with me, since included in that "working" is going to two awesome Masses). My lovely Patriots lost last night (ugh. So painful), but that means I won't be distracted at Mass next week when I'm missing the AFC championship. (Rooting for Steelers now, both because I like them and hate the Jets, but I won't be too broken up if the Steelers lose.)
Thinking a lot about my life going forward. I do actually have some ideas about where I'd like to be, beyond "Colorado", but I don't know if they're realistic or practical or possible. This is excluding, of course, my pipe dream of going to live and work in some pretty mountain town. I think I'll put that on the back burner for now. Still going to hold out for my dream mountain man. ;-)
I really think I want/need to be in the pro-life movement. Not sure what this will look like in reality, but I'm hopeful something will work out to enable that. I guess if it's what God wants for me, of course something will work out. So THERE.
Seriously now. Must should go work. Hopefully will not go knit. Oh, to have four arms, so I could knit while typing or reading.
-My life is too boring for this blog to be an "about me" blog.
-I get too caught up in things (and also am not very persuasive, nor do I do a better job than anyone else you might read) for this to be an "issues" blog.
-I just want to knit. And knitting always wins over blogging.
-Also, I should be more school-focused. (Like studying for comps right now, instead of writing in my blog.)
Quick update, I guess:
I got back a week ago. Proceeded to sit in two lectures a day, all week, for our "master class week." They were more or less interesting, but I think I would have preferred having actual classes. (Which, despite the workload I know I'll have, I am looking forward to.) Also had to fit in work during those two lectures every day, which made for some interesting hours. 45 minutes here, and hour and a half there, etc. Got a good chunk, though not the 20 I try to get every week.
Also had some interesting facebook conversations. And by "interesting" I mean hair-pulling-inducing. Why people think Facebook is an appropriate median to try to have a debate is beyond me. Sometimes I post "controversial" articles, but only in that they hit on controversial subjects - like, you know, anything to do with Catholic teaching, or abortion. In this case it was an article about the abortion rate in New York City, which was recently found to be 41%. A ridiculously high number, as I think most would agree. But of course it got all derailed, and crazy, and I ended up being defriended. Fine by me, as the only interaction I had with this person, really, was when he would respond to one of my "controversial" posts, as he and I are not of the same mind on many topics. Plus, there's a backstory there (which I think most reading this already know).
So that made my week...interesting. Ah, life.
This week classes start. I'm looking forward to it, as I mentioned, even though I'm a terrible student. I have two Christmas presents I never finished (and one I discovered I'm literally like three rows short of yarn to finish, so I either have to make it a tad shorter - and it's already not quite as long as I'd like it - or order a new skein of yarn to finish. And of course my local yarn store doesn't have that color in stock right now, so I'll have to order it from a website and wait for it to show up. I should have just bought more yarn when I initially ordered. Ugh. Stupid Susie. And then the other one is just taking FOREVER and I might just cut and run, call it good where it is), and a baby blanket I just started last week (which is fun, and going quickly, and is also much smaller than a regular blanket, which is a nice change). Not to mention all the other lovely patterns I want to do, and yarn I have and want to work with. But they'll all still be there in a few months, when I have more time to devote. I'm really going to have to limit myself this semester if I want to finish with a bang. I'm resigned that I may well have to re-take one of the comps question, assuming I fail one, but I'd really rather not have to. And I want to do well in general in my classes, which means doing the reading. And I should do the reading, just for my own general knowledge, because it's good for me and it's why I'm here.
Next Monday is the March for Life, which means next Sunday is a big day for my office. I'll be working all day (which is ok with me, since included in that "working" is going to two awesome Masses). My lovely Patriots lost last night (ugh. So painful), but that means I won't be distracted at Mass next week when I'm missing the AFC championship. (Rooting for Steelers now, both because I like them and hate the Jets, but I won't be too broken up if the Steelers lose.)
Thinking a lot about my life going forward. I do actually have some ideas about where I'd like to be, beyond "Colorado", but I don't know if they're realistic or practical or possible. This is excluding, of course, my pipe dream of going to live and work in some pretty mountain town. I think I'll put that on the back burner for now. Still going to hold out for my dream mountain man. ;-)
I really think I want/need to be in the pro-life movement. Not sure what this will look like in reality, but I'm hopeful something will work out to enable that. I guess if it's what God wants for me, of course something will work out. So THERE.
Seriously now. Must should go work. Hopefully will not go knit. Oh, to have four arms, so I could knit while typing or reading.
Friday, January 07, 2011
That's all I have to say about that.
The thing about Colorado is...we never get the chance to get sick of weather. Except maybe sunny weather. Because we get that a lot.
I'm not so much dreading going back to DC as I am going back because that means comps are soon. Like, two months soon. (cue freak out music.)
I'm looking forward to being back at St. Rita's. I really like that church.
I'm also looking forward to visiting my favorite knitting store again. Someday. I don't really need yarn, so I don't anticipate a trip anytime soon. But some time.
Taking down Christmas decorations is depressing. As is January at large.
In four months, four months from this very day, I will (God willing) be completely done. It will be Saturday after finals. And that gives me hope.
Four months from today, I may or may not be freaking out depending on the job situation. Woo.
It's weird to me that people actually bet on who will win awards in various award ceremonies. Why does Vegas care? Why does anyone care? Hollywood is dumb.
Colin Firth is a great actor and deserves to win an award.
My family is fantastic.
I read today that 41% of pregnancies in NYC end in abortion. Forty-one percent. Rare? Yeah right. Something like 60% of African American pregnancies end in abortion. Similarly large percentages in other minorities, too. Even nationwide, the rate is 23% of pregnancies aborted. Almost one in four. People don't really grasp this, I think. Imagine if we just went and killed one in four babies born in hospitals. It's a big number. (Later edit: I saw today an article about a couple in...New Zealand? Australia? who have three sons, lost a baby girl in infancy, and recently got pregnant through IVF with twin boys who they aborted because - get this - they feel they deserve a girl. Thus those two little boys don't deserve to live. Those two boys they paid someone to create. Oh, it's not what they want, so let's kill them, because we want a girl. They're trying to make it so they can sex-select the next round of IVF so they get a girl, which I guess is not allowed where they're from, and if they can't, they're going to come to the US to do it. Woo United States, where we allow almost any and every children-as-commodities scenarios you can dream up. Ugh.)
I really hope I can get a job in the pro-life field. Or at ENDOW. :-)
I really want to go to: Telluride. Leadville. Ouray. Durango. Etc. Maybe one...or two? this summer. Who knows. Who knows where I'll be/what I'll be doing. Oh well. I suppose I should also want to go to places like: Arches. Zion. Glacier. Yellowstone (again). Grand Canyon (again). Those are more commitments though. I'll just wait until I get married to someone who will take me on a western-national-park-honeymoon-tour. (Either that, or a 14er hike honeymoon tour.) (This is also why I hope I don't end up with a city/sissy boy.) (But I guess if I do, I'll be pretty happy with him.)
The worst part about leaving, I think, is that I know I have to take comps this semester. And I'm really concerned about that. They're only two months away. But hopefully I can be disciplined for once this semester, and really be tough with myself and the studying. I hope.
I'm also really going to miss my family, so that sucks. But it's only four months. Maybe four and a half depending on...things. (You know, like, if I stay until the end of May or something. No idea if I'd do that, but I guess it's a possibility. I'd rather not.) And I like to worry about things, too. But mostly my concern is about comps. Once I get past those, I'll have just over a month left in the semester, and then, whoo. Done. (And maybe even less of the semester if I fail a question and have to take it over. Which is certainly a distinct possibility.)
Good thing is, I am excited about this semester's classes, more or less. At least, from the book list. And what I know from hearsay.
It's been so nice to be home. I barely saw any friends, but I saw lots of Palmer Park, and my beautiful Pikes Peak, and had lots of good dog time, and lots of good family time. I love my family. Love em to pieces.
I'm not so much dreading going back to DC as I am going back because that means comps are soon. Like, two months soon. (cue freak out music.)
I'm looking forward to being back at St. Rita's. I really like that church.
I'm also looking forward to visiting my favorite knitting store again. Someday. I don't really need yarn, so I don't anticipate a trip anytime soon. But some time.
Taking down Christmas decorations is depressing. As is January at large.
In four months, four months from this very day, I will (God willing) be completely done. It will be Saturday after finals. And that gives me hope.
Four months from today, I may or may not be freaking out depending on the job situation. Woo.
It's weird to me that people actually bet on who will win awards in various award ceremonies. Why does Vegas care? Why does anyone care? Hollywood is dumb.
Colin Firth is a great actor and deserves to win an award.
My family is fantastic.
I read today that 41% of pregnancies in NYC end in abortion. Forty-one percent. Rare? Yeah right. Something like 60% of African American pregnancies end in abortion. Similarly large percentages in other minorities, too. Even nationwide, the rate is 23% of pregnancies aborted. Almost one in four. People don't really grasp this, I think. Imagine if we just went and killed one in four babies born in hospitals. It's a big number. (Later edit: I saw today an article about a couple in...New Zealand? Australia? who have three sons, lost a baby girl in infancy, and recently got pregnant through IVF with twin boys who they aborted because - get this - they feel they deserve a girl. Thus those two little boys don't deserve to live. Those two boys they paid someone to create. Oh, it's not what they want, so let's kill them, because we want a girl. They're trying to make it so they can sex-select the next round of IVF so they get a girl, which I guess is not allowed where they're from, and if they can't, they're going to come to the US to do it. Woo United States, where we allow almost any and every children-as-commodities scenarios you can dream up. Ugh.)
I really hope I can get a job in the pro-life field. Or at ENDOW. :-)
I really want to go to: Telluride. Leadville. Ouray. Durango. Etc. Maybe one...or two? this summer. Who knows. Who knows where I'll be/what I'll be doing. Oh well. I suppose I should also want to go to places like: Arches. Zion. Glacier. Yellowstone (again). Grand Canyon (again). Those are more commitments though. I'll just wait until I get married to someone who will take me on a western-national-park-honeymoon-tour. (Either that, or a 14er hike honeymoon tour.) (This is also why I hope I don't end up with a city/sissy boy.) (But I guess if I do, I'll be pretty happy with him.)
The worst part about leaving, I think, is that I know I have to take comps this semester. And I'm really concerned about that. They're only two months away. But hopefully I can be disciplined for once this semester, and really be tough with myself and the studying. I hope.
I'm also really going to miss my family, so that sucks. But it's only four months. Maybe four and a half depending on...things. (You know, like, if I stay until the end of May or something. No idea if I'd do that, but I guess it's a possibility. I'd rather not.) And I like to worry about things, too. But mostly my concern is about comps. Once I get past those, I'll have just over a month left in the semester, and then, whoo. Done. (And maybe even less of the semester if I fail a question and have to take it over. Which is certainly a distinct possibility.)
Good thing is, I am excited about this semester's classes, more or less. At least, from the book list. And what I know from hearsay.
It's been so nice to be home. I barely saw any friends, but I saw lots of Palmer Park, and my beautiful Pikes Peak, and had lots of good dog time, and lots of good family time. I love my family. Love em to pieces.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Music to knit by...
So, I'm not saying it's a good decision, but I just got in a mood and downloaded several albums from Amazon. I had downloaded the National Parks soundtrack the other night (and oh man. SO good.), but there were a few others I've been wanting to download too (some for longer than others). First, there were a couple of Michael Buble songs I didn't know existed until I happened to come across these add-on albums that had some new songs (and some live versions of songs I already have, so I didn't get those). So that's exciting, because I could listen to Michael Buble sing the phone book and be satisfied. Listening to his version of Presley's Can't Help Falling in Love? Um, yes please.
I've been wanting the Firefly soundtrack for a long time, too, so...I got it. And I may or may not have also downloaded the soundtracks to both True Grit and The King's Speech. I can't help it that they both had fantastic scores. And downloading's cheaper than getting the physical CD (although I do like to buy real CDs when it's cost-effective, because I like having the hard copy. But I can always just burn these to a CD if I need that). And hey, if I have to be alone, I might as well be alone with some great music. And this is some great music. Well, I think it is, anyway. And I only have to please myself, so IN YOUR FACE.
I might as well also mention here that I finally loaded up the iPod my dear older brother gave me last month. 80gb, so all my music actually fits on there! And I have it separated into playlists and everything! I never did figure out how to do that effectively with my zune...but with only 4gb, it doesn't have a lot of room for multiple playlists anyway. So now I won't have to go back and forth with my music, listening to only instrumental/classical/movie scores for awhile, then switching to some of my favorite sung music, then switching to Christmas when the time comes... yeah. So that's nice.
In other news, I've been knitting this afghan for what feels like FOREVER. It's been less than a month in reality, though. But I'm still only 3/4ths done. I need to get it finished before I go back. I kinda figure I won't get them both finished in time, but if I can just get one done, that's something at least. Of course, I also really want to start another smaller project, something more portable, but then I'll just get caught up knitting that more than the blanket, and I need to finish the blanket. Hey, now I have some new good music to listen to while I knit!
I only have a week left now, and that makes me not so happy, but at least now the end is in sight. Four months after I go back, I'll be graduating (God willing). Which makes me realize...I only have two and a half months until comps. Gross.
Well. Happy New Year, at least. 2011. The year of Susie? Yeah, I don't think so either.
I've been wanting the Firefly soundtrack for a long time, too, so...I got it. And I may or may not have also downloaded the soundtracks to both True Grit and The King's Speech. I can't help it that they both had fantastic scores. And downloading's cheaper than getting the physical CD (although I do like to buy real CDs when it's cost-effective, because I like having the hard copy. But I can always just burn these to a CD if I need that). And hey, if I have to be alone, I might as well be alone with some great music. And this is some great music. Well, I think it is, anyway. And I only have to please myself, so IN YOUR FACE.
I might as well also mention here that I finally loaded up the iPod my dear older brother gave me last month. 80gb, so all my music actually fits on there! And I have it separated into playlists and everything! I never did figure out how to do that effectively with my zune...but with only 4gb, it doesn't have a lot of room for multiple playlists anyway. So now I won't have to go back and forth with my music, listening to only instrumental/classical/movie scores for awhile, then switching to some of my favorite sung music, then switching to Christmas when the time comes... yeah. So that's nice.
In other news, I've been knitting this afghan for what feels like FOREVER. It's been less than a month in reality, though. But I'm still only 3/4ths done. I need to get it finished before I go back. I kinda figure I won't get them both finished in time, but if I can just get one done, that's something at least. Of course, I also really want to start another smaller project, something more portable, but then I'll just get caught up knitting that more than the blanket, and I need to finish the blanket. Hey, now I have some new good music to listen to while I knit!
I only have a week left now, and that makes me not so happy, but at least now the end is in sight. Four months after I go back, I'll be graduating (God willing). Which makes me realize...I only have two and a half months until comps. Gross.
Well. Happy New Year, at least. 2011. The year of Susie? Yeah, I don't think so either.
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