Seven Quick Takes: Some Edition

(I wrote all of these last night (Thursday night), so any time I said "today" or "yesterday" or "tomorrow," it's meant from Thursday.)

1. One of my best good friends has been in Korea for a year and a half teaching English, because she's awesome. Well, she came back for a visit this week. And I decided, in order to maximize time with her, to take a few days off of work to come spend in the Springs. I don't really take days off very often (I actually sort of hate it on a certain level, but I also obviously enjoy days off), so I have quite a few built up. Which means, this week we had Monday off for President's Day, I worked two days, and yesterday drove down here. Just in time for one of the biggest snowfalls we've had in quite some time! I left work a little early because I first had to drive down to Pueblo to drop something off for work, and I knew it was going to snow later in the day. I hit a few patches on the way, but the snow really didn't start in earnest until after I got to my parents'. And then it was like the floodgates opened. I'm pretty sure just on Tuesday they were saying that it probably wasn't going to be very much down here, so I wasn't expecting much. But snow it did! I took Nutmeg out at like 7 last night, and though I've been on many a nighttime snowy walk, this one was intense. Lots of wet snow blowing in my face, covering my hair (and my scarf!), and by that point there were already a couple of inches. All told, we got around 8 inches, and it's awesome! Moral is, I picked a good day to start my vacation.

About a quarter of the way into our walk. I am NOT wearing a hat.

2. Tomorrow is a visiting-people day. It'll be nice to see some people I haven't seen in a while (one of whom just had her second baby on Monday! Well, I'm hoping to see her tomorrow). And then maybe Saturday will be hiking. And then who knows! I feel a little silly taking time off to do nothing, basically - I didn't really go anywhere, and there's no real "vacationing" going on, but if I wait to take time off until I actually go on vacation somewhere, I'll be waiting quite awhile.

3. I took Nutmeg for a walk today, and saw just how much she dislikes walking in the snow if it's more than a couple of inches. She's so funny. I mean, I totally understand it, but it's just funny to watch her in the snow. She didn't pee this morning until almost 10am because she didn't want to walk far enough out in the yard to find a good spot, and earlier tonight she went out, but it was like she had forgotten about the snow because when she got to the end of the patio (which is shoveled), she just stopped and turned around and walked back in. Now, like four hours later, I realized she hadn't even attempted to go out again after that, so I made her go. She reluctantly picked her way to a spot just far enough in, trying to find the least snowy path to get there, did her business (and seemed pretty relieved about it - get it? ha!), and came back in. She'll put up with it if it means going for a walk, but for something less necessary, like peeing, that's a lot more questionable.

4. Last time I was at the library, I saw the documentary The War there. Ken Burns does a great documentary, and I wanted to see it. I brought it with me because I figured my parents would be interested too, and lo, they are! We started watching it tonight, and it's really interesting. I mean, I love history anyway, but there's so much I had no idea about! I can't really remember learning a whole lot about WWII in school, except a class or two I took in college, though that doesn't mean I didn't learn about it. I know it was discussed at various times, but I remember learning more about WWI. Anyway. Point is, my WWII history was lacking, and this documentary is great.

5. It's also making me want to watch Band of Brothers again. Such a good series. With such good music. (Have I mentioned before how much I love that music? Next raise I get, I'm buying that sucker. That, and the BBC Sense and Sensibility.)

6. My car. It is so, so dirty. I need to get it washed so badly. I'd really like to get a really good, deep-clean one, but for now I think I'll settle for the $3 wash near my parents' house. Better than nothing, and at least it'll help alleviate the feeling of being boxed in that currently settles on me every time I'm driving it. One of the worst things about snow is how dirty it makes one's car. Goodness. I guess it doesn't help that they use gravel around here instead of salt on the roads. I can't wait to get it cleaned, though, even though it'll probably snow again the next day. At least I'll be starting with a clean palate again.

7. I'm in the middle of my first attempt at a sweater. It's a short-sleeved cardigan, the finished product of which I saw in a yarn shop I lived near last year, and fell in love with. I asked the lady there what the pattern was, because I wanted to try it, and she gave it to me because it's a free pattern. And here's where things get  hairy. See, I have this problem, particularly in yarn shops. I like to go browse and peruse, sometimes for ridiculous amounts of time, but my stash is so out of control (and my bank account is so sad) that I rarely need to buy things. (Though there was the shop I went in up in Estes Park last year sometime, and found yarn made out of BUFFALO, and really wanted it because, hi, I kind of am obsessed with buffaloes, but it was like $75 or something ridiculous for a skein that would have been enough yarn for maybe a hat or something small.) But sometimes I spend so long browsing that I feel awkward not buying anything, so I'll maybe just get a small skein, or a pattern book, or something. Anyway, this particular time I felt bad because she gave me the pattern, and helped me figure out how many skeins of the suggested yarn (which they had, of course) I'd need for my size, and one thing led to another...and I bought the yarn for the pattern, spending far more than I should have. And now here I am, nearly a year later (the project fell behind in importance because I had things for other people that needed to be done), working on it again. I think it'll be nice once it's done, but the problem is...I don't think the color is very good. Not for me, anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind once I finish it, but it's a red which I'm not sure works well for me, and I really should have gotten a navy blue (which I don't think they had, or else I would have gotten it).

And thus is the continuing, ongoing saga of my first (non-dog) sweater. At least the yarn is uber soft, which makes me happy.


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Co-whaaaa?

Sometimes, Facebook brings me face to face (ha, get it??) with things I might not otherwise see. For good or bad. The other night, one of the news station pages I follow posted an article about co-parenting. And it's not what you might think. At first, I thought it was going to be about divorced couples and how they share parenting duties. Oh no. This is about two people - who are not now nor ever were a couple - who decide they want to be parents, but without all the messiness of, you know, getting married and creating an actual family. Too much commitment, and who has time for that? Plus, you know, marriage is just becoming obsolete anyway, and probably wouldn't last. And single parenting is hard, you know, so the obvious answer is to find a random stranger who shares these views of parenting and marriage.

This is a real thing. Parenting without marriage, love, or any kind of real relationship. Two individuals, with no ties to each other, actively choosing to bring a child into the world without the slightest intention of raising that child in a normal two-parent household environment.

There is just so much wrong there it makes me want to cry.

Divorce is sad enough when there are kids involved. Kids naturally and without prompting want their parents to live together, to be a couple, to be married. That's the way things are supposed to be, and that's how kids ideally should be raised. Obviously, we don't live in an ideal world, and things like divorce and abuse and neglect exist, and kids suffer for it. But that doesn't mean that we should strive to be the lowest common denominator. We should be actively seeking to be the best we can be, to give our kids the best so that they can thrive and become good citizens down the road.

This whole thing is sad because it makes children commodities, there to serve the pleasures of the people who want to become parents at any cost. That's what our culture has done. Contraception and IVF have successfully turned children not into the gifts they so rightly are, but into items to be avoided or purchased, depending on your desire. They are returned when they come along at an inconvenient time, and they are manufactured at the cost of the lives of their siblings when they don't come along at the right time. And now we're encouraging people to choose to create a life that will be shuffled between parents? To the point where there are websites set up to match you with a good parenting partner?

There is just not a single inch of me that understands why two people who might not even know each other would willingly choose to bring a child into their life and subject that child to having to deal with being shuffled around. I thought it was a pretty agreed-upon idea that divorce is hard for kids in part because they have to deal with living in two different houses, back and forth all the time. Maybe people don't see that as a problem anymore because it's so common. But does that mean it's good? Does that mean we should actually seek it out? I certainly don't think so. To say that this is just the way the tide is turning, that these non-traditional means of parenting are inevitable and maybe even the new good, just seems incredibly short-sighted and defeatist. To compare this with the "it takes a village" method of raising a child ignores the fact that typically included in that village are the mother and father of that child. Not always, of course, but the nucleus of the village is the original family unit - mother and father in a committed relationship, with child brought into the world as a result of that relationship. As someone wise once put it, "a love so strong that nine months later you have to give it a name." Sure, it doesn't always happen this way, but that doesn't mean we should actively search out a way entirely devoid of love to bring a child into the world, regardless of how deep our desire to have a child.

Believe me, I understand the desire to have a child. But desire doesn't mean right. Even if it's a desire for something good, like having a child (yay babies!), that doesn't give us carte blanche to fulfill the desire with whatever means necessary as if it's our right. Not all desires are meant to be fulfilled, and even those that are don't often happen in the way we want them to. We long for certain things because we're ultimately longing for Something Else. Even having a child, even if you've waited years for that child, even if you've done everything the "right" way to have that child, won't bring you ultimate fulfillment. Only God can do that. He made us to be mothers and fathers, biological or spiritual, in different ways, ultimately to bring us closer to him. He doesn't give us those desires (to get married, to have children, etc) to see how far we'll go to fulfill them. He wants us to wait for him to fulfill them, in whatever way is actually best for us. Because we're not all meant to get married or have kids. We are, however, all meant to trust God and spend eternity with him (and man, it'll be so much greater than we can ever imagine!).

Anyway, mini tangent there..

This co-parenting thing is just...so so sad. Granted, those articles are both a year old. I don't know how common this is (I can't imagine it's very common, but until I heard about it the other day, I wouldn't have been able to imagine it at all), and I doubt it's going to be sweeping the nation any time soon. But...it exists. It just shows so profoundly where we've come in our culture, especially when it comes to children. On the one hand, there are a lot of examples of how our culture sort of despises children - and on the other, once we decide we finally want a child, rather than wait for the right person - or maybe even accept that there might not be a right person, and we might be called to something else - we manufacture children and bring them into a false relationship (or no relationship at all) just so we can have what we want when we want it. Children deserve better than that. They deserve better than to be brought into the world to serve our own selfish desires at the cost of their best interest. I'm not saying it's better that they not be born at all, but they deserve better than to be born to fill a selfish need their parents have that they ultimately won't really be able to fill adequately. Children are a gift, always, no matter what circumstance they're born into, or who or how they're created. But when we don't allow gifts to be given to us at the right time, as they're meant to be given, it changes things in a way that they're not supposed to be changed.

God wants to delight us. He loves to give us joy. His plan for each of us has more joy than we know, if we let him reveal it to us rather than forcing it from him. It doesn't mean we won't have joy if we don't wait, but it won't be as it was meant to be. It's like when you're really hungry, and you know there's going to be a great dinner in an hour or two - you don't know what it is, exactly, but you know you're going to love it. Or, better yet, you're hungry and you're pretty sure that when you get home, your mom will have made a delicious homemade dinner, because she told you she would. You don't know what it is, though, and you're not sure what time it'll be served. But you're so hungry that you decide to grab a hamburger from a fast food place. It's pretty good in the moment, but then when you finally get to that delicious dinner and you see all your favorite foods in front of you, you realize you're not really hungry anymore, and you can't really savor and enjoy the food someone lovingly prepared all day for you to eat, knowing how much you'd love it. Maybe you can't even eat it because your stomach's already too full with the fast food crap you ate earlier. Maybe it's a weird analogy, but it makes sense to me. (Not to say you shouldn't have a kid now because the one you'll maybe get later will be better; it's just that if you force it now and don't wait for the right time, the situation will be such that you won't be able to experience or enjoy the better situation God has been planning for you.)

Sometimes we have to go through moments of hunger/suffering/pain while we wait, knowing that there's something good on the horizon. It might not relieve our hunger/suffering/pain in the way we expect - maybe it's a new meal you've never had before, and it's served later in the day than you're used to, but if you just wait for it it's going to become your new favorite meal. Waiting to be relieved of discomfort, whatever kind it is, is difficult and something we'd all rather avoid. There's a lot to be said for the waiting, though - for the growth that happens there, and the learning and strengthening. And, most of all, learning to trust in God, to trust that he'll give us exactly what we need, exactly what will make us happiest, exactly when we need it. Suuuper hard to do. Suuuper necessary, though.

Moral of the story: Our culture/world/selves need a lot of prayer, and a lot of God.

Seven Quick Takes: Relationshipyish

1. This might sound like sour grapes, but if I read another (well-meaning, "don't wallow") article by a married woman telling me I should be happy to be single because it means I can sleep in on weekends and do whatever the heck I want to, I might just throw my laptop against a wall. I realize that being single affords me more freedoms and flexibility than if I were married with kids, but since when did freedom to do whatever we want become a desirable quality? Ok, I realize that sounds weird. Ultimate freedom, though, really isn't very freeing. I'd so much rather have a reason to get out of bed early in the morning, something (someone) around which to structure my schedule, another person to consider in making big life choices. I realize what those articles are getting at and sure, it's a valid point, but please, as someone who's been continuously single a very long time, don't try to tell me that I should be thankful to be alone when I go to bed, when I wake up, because I can go to bed and wake up whenever I want.

(I know, I know, it also pertains to the fact that I'm more free to answer God's call and whatnot. Again, valid. Again, sometimes not the most helpful thing to hear. Especially because being single =/= ability to drop everything easily and go do some big thing.)

End rant. :)

On the flipside, something about singles I don't mind reading is this entire book. (I first read it last year around Valentine's Day, and lo and behold, decided to pick it up again a few days ago. Not purposely because of Valentine's Day, I promise. Just because it's good.) (And, ha, after I had this all typed up, I came across this article. Funny when that happens.)


2. It snowed today, and was lovely, as always. And then driving home tonight from my Bible class, the foothills just west of where I live were pretty clearly visible in the partially cloud, mostly-moonless night because of their fresh layer of snow, and it was awesome. I adore snow-covered mountains at night. It's such a different view than we usually get - mountains are hard to see at night most of the time, in case you weren't aware. Snow just makes everything wonderful.

3. We oddly have Monday off from work. (It's President's Day, which some in the country get off, but as a person who went from a Catholic university to a Catholic store to another Catholic school to a Catholic organization, most of which rarely had normal federal holidays off - but which often had things like Holy Days of Obligation or/and time at Easter off - I'm unused to this. But hey, I'm not arguing.) What makes it even better is that I'm taking a mini "vacation" at the end of next week and beginning of the following (just going down to the Springs, and will get to reunite with not one but TWO friends I haven't seen in far too long, for various reasons. Well, no, just for one reason, and that reason is geography, my old enemy). So. Two weeks in a row, I'll only be at work for two days. Ha. I do feel bad, though, for my teammates at work. It's a bit of a slow season right now, which is good, but there still aren't enough of us to get things done as fast as we'd like, so it's tough when any of us are gone. But we all need a break sometimes. I really need a break.

4. Pope Benedict. My heart. Sigh. I have some words about this, but I think he deserves his own post. Boils down to I love him so much and am so thankful he's given so much of himself to us. Kenosis, indeed.

5. Last week, I watched a full episode(ish) of The Bachelor, for the first time ever, I do believe. I've seen clips here and there, maybe watch parts of various episodes, but man. That show. I know a lot of people love it, and I know a lot of people who love it, but there is just so much wrong with it. The consumerism of it (one guy with 25 women fighting over him? That's not how it's supposed to go. He shouldn't be able to sit back and let them wow and woo and impress him, and get to take pieces of them until, one by one, he decides he's done with them), the prize-winning aspect (these girls aren't really after him, they're after winning. Maybe some really fall for him, but the whole point of the show is for them to be whoever he wants them to be so that he'll pick the one who best portrays herself as his best match by the end), just the overall falseness of the whole thing. It's manufactured love. I can maybe get behind the concept of The Bachelorette a little bit more, since it puts the men in the pursuer role rather than as the prize, but even still. It's interesting - I was researching couples who have lasted from these two shows, and as far as I can tell there are three who are currently married (or have ever gotten married). And at least two were Bachelorettes. (Including the first, who has been married to the guy she chose for something like 10 years now.) Interesting? At least marginally.

Point is, I'm not a fan. But for me to be a fan of a reality show, it'd have to be a really good one.

6. I just started reading this book, Redeeming Love. I've heard good things about it from every woman I know who's read it (and it's quite a list), and I love the story of Hosea. Since I have not the money for things like books at the moment, I put it on hold at the library (there's a surprisingly long wait, considering it's not at all new). The other night, I noticed one of my roommates reading another book by the same author, and asked if she had read Redeeming Love. And, wouldn't you know it, she owns it! Good non non-fiction Lenten reading, methinks, and now I don't have to wait for it!

7. I love how often the term "knit" comes up in the Bible. (Twice in tonight's class!) It makes me have more of an appreciation for what I do, and makes me better understand just what that word means when I come across it. See, knitting isn't just some boring pasttime for old ladies. It's Biblical. Even God knits!


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7 Quick Takes: Youtube Edition

In a decidedly un-jolly mood today, so I compiled a list of seven random things on youtube that make me happy:

1. Ninja Cat


2. The Ludlows


3. The Wilhelm Scream


4. Jurassic Park


5. North and South (the best part)


(Alternate version with the cut to Henry's sad, sad face edited out)


6. Marcel the Shell


7. Motivational speeches



Runners-up:

Ashokan Farewell (with letter from Sullivan Ballou)


Mysterious Ticking Noise


The Planets: Jupiter

Seven Quick Takes: Happy February!

1. It is 9:12pm Thursday evening as I write this, so I may yet be jinxing myself...but ding dong January is gone! Bring on February, even with its insufferable holiday (Valentine's Day, not so appealing to a melancholic such as myself), and its more looked-forward-to season (Lent, which is certainly appealing to a melancholic such as myself). And Groundhog's Day! To which I'm looking forward mostly because I want to watch the movie. Another benefit of February: it is of shorter length than other months, which appeals to me at this present moment because it's two or three days fewer that my budget has to stretch. Woo!

2. Speaking of, this morning I discovered a forgotten-about unused tube of toothpaste I must have bought as a twofer once upon a time and then forgot about when the first one was used up, AND unexpectedly another bottle of contact solution (another forgotten half of a twofer) - two items that I was going to have to buy soon and now I DON'T for another period of time. I know it's small, but it makes a difference, and reminds me that God's looking out for me. He always comes through, even with the teeny stuff.

3. I miss my puppy a lot. We have this place for another 5 months, at which point it's already been determined we'll all be going separate ways (well, at least three separate ways, but two of us might move on together, possibly, though everything is, as always, it seems, up in the air) - due to circumstances taking us to different locations, though those locations are, for the most part, as yet undetermined, and not because we all hate living together, thankfully, because I live with delightful women - and at that point, I hope hope hope that I'll be able to be in a place, and that I'll be in a place in my life, in which I'll be able to have my dog with me again. I couldn't afford her now even if she were allowed here (though if she were, I'd probably already have her here and would just give up a few meals or something), but in 5 months that will definitely have changed one way or another because...it just has to.

All that to say, I'm going home this weekend because I need some puppy love. And it might just be an added benefit that I get to see my parents too. And (I hope) one or two of my siblings. All of whom I like a great deal.

(And by the way, how'd you like that incredibly long run-on sentence up there? Pretty awesome, no?)

4. One of my resolutions this year is to type up my notes from grad school. I started last week. It's actually kind of fun. I'm starting with my first semester, obviously, and it's funny re-reading those first few days of notes (like the first time in my life that I wrote the word "constitutive" - a word which would become inTEEgral to my grad school career, inexorably). Oh, I was so confused and nothing made sense. But! Now! Re-reading them, things make sense! It's great. My theology muscles have become sad and flabby, so I'm trying to work them out and get them back into shape. This is definitely a good start.

5. Every once in a while, I do the reading at Mass at work. And it's funny - the last few times I've done it seem to be on days that are favorite feast/saint days for me. My birthday, the day before Elizabeth Ann Seton's feast day (we didn't have Mass on her actual feast day, so I decided it was close enough), tomorrow (today) - St Bridget of Ireland's feast day. It just makes me laugh, since the lector schedule is pretty randomly decided.

6. Something about knitting. Like this scarf. I'm a big fan. Cables are so fun.

7. I have a new love for audiobooks. Not sure if I've mentioned that one yet (probably have), but it is so. However, it's never going to be quite the same as the real thing, holding a book in my hands, turning the pages. Like this one. My January splurge ($3 at a used bookstore in Georgetown, CO. Totally awesome). I love it.

Love, love, love it. The end.