So, I've been feeling rather apprehensive about my upcoming 20-hour round trip drive this weekend. Mostly because I'm tired a lot, and driving + tired = not good things. And as I haven't had a car out here until recently, I have next to no CDs, and my Zune definitely wouldn't make it a whole 10 hours. And neither would my phone, if I resort to calling people to keep myself alert, should it come to that.
Action was necessary. What action? Well, it occurred to me last night that maybe they have car chargers for Zunes. And then as I was researching that this evening, it further occurred to me that, hey, they make car chargers for phones, too! So. Thanks to my amazon prime membership, I should have both of those items by Thursday. For cheaper than they'd be in the store, too. The Zune charger also comes with an a/c adapter, which is also nice.
I feel better about life now.
(I may or may not have also purchased a CD or two of the Glee music, which I've wanted for a year now...)
Next up: buying tickets to go home for Christmas. Too many options...Do I go home Thursday night? (I think my last final will be Thursday. But that'd probably be too stressful.) Friday? Stay for the Christmas party on Saturday, remembering that last year I decided to fly out Sunday so I could go to the Christmas party, and ended up getting snowed in that weekend, and having to leave Monday? And then when should I plan to come back here? I have to be back by the 10th. But should I come back earlier and get in a few days of work? I'm not very good at making decisions when I have lots of options. So, I'm going to delegate to someone else. Tell me when I should leave and come back, and why.
And also speaking of buying things, I have a few knitting projects planned for Christmas presents. I really need to get the yarn bought for that...man. I have quite a few projects I need to do. Ah, to be a professional knitter...
I'm really feeling much better about this weekend. And I'm so excited to be going. Oh, how lovely it'll be to be back at ND. I really do love that place. A whole lot.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Pointless post.
Today was a good day.
There were some not-good things that happened today.
But aside from that, I had a good and productive day. (Surprisingly, considering the hour at which I awoke this morning.) Went to the bank (had to deposit some money), went to the post office (had to send off a couple packages), watched ND fail epically to Navy (quite sad), got a few groceries I needed, made myself go for a run, did laundry, and baked some pumpkin bread (one loaf with chocolate chips, one with coconut). Yummmm.
And I watched Hook while I baked, and now I'm watching Sleepless in Seattle. And last night I watched While You Were Sleeping. Yay for early 90s movies! (Last weekend was 80s, with Back to the Future and Turtles 1 and 2.)
So, that's good.
There were some not-good things that happened today.
But aside from that, I had a good and productive day. (Surprisingly, considering the hour at which I awoke this morning.) Went to the bank (had to deposit some money), went to the post office (had to send off a couple packages), watched ND fail epically to Navy (quite sad), got a few groceries I needed, made myself go for a run, did laundry, and baked some pumpkin bread (one loaf with chocolate chips, one with coconut). Yummmm.
And I watched Hook while I baked, and now I'm watching Sleepless in Seattle. And last night I watched While You Were Sleeping. Yay for early 90s movies! (Last weekend was 80s, with Back to the Future and Turtles 1 and 2.)
So, that's good.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Don't want to end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard
You know, I really love my family. I do. They're fabulous.
I had a revelation the other day. Maybe it's not so much a revelation as...I don't know, something else. Maybe it was obvious. Maybe I've even mentioned it before. Anyway, point is, I realized that one of the things that makes being here so hard is that I don't have anyone. I don't have my peeps, as they say. (Who "they" are, I'm not sure, but I think someone somewhere says that.) But seriously, if anything really serious were to go wrong out here, I don't have someone to turn to, you know? All my family and friends are elsewhere. Especially my parents. I hate that feeling. It's so unsecure. (No, not insecure. Unsecure.) My safety net is thousands of miles away. Ugh, it's a terrible feeling. It really is. But that's why I have this incredible need to go home. Even just for Thanksgiving weekend. And I can't think about anything else. When I'm home, I'm safe. Maybe it's bad that I don't feel safe elsewhere, but I don't. (Not in a "I feel like I'm going to be mugged around every corner" way, but in an unsettled way.) Bad things can and do happen there, sure. But I'm not alone when they do.
I think it's ok that I feel that way, really. It's good for families to stay close to one another. My family is the lone wolf in our bunch of relatives, or was for many years before some cousins and such moved long distances away from the northeast region. I didn't get to grow up with a bunch of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents around all the time. I'm glad I grew up in Colorado, but I'm sad I missed out on that. And I don't want to have to experience that again, should I ever get married and have kids. It's ok for me to go home again. I mean, sure, I really have no idea what's going to happen in my future, but short-term, it's ok.
We had to read a book earlier this month called Hannah Coulter, a fiction by Wendell Berry, and it deals a lot with the theme of place and its importance in people's lives. Berry's view might be a little unrealistic, especially for the time and culture in which we live now, but the ideas behind it are spot on. (Maybe not for everyone, as some people have different callings that take them all over.) Family is important. Being nearby is important. Where one lives is not incidental to his or her life.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at, but all I know is, my place is with my family. In Colorado. Colorado, whose very name thrills me to my fingertips. (Name that reference!)
All this to say, I cannot wait to get home for Thanksgiving. Oh, how delightful to be going.
I'm so excited about it that every time I use semi-public restrooms (the ones at work and at school), I wish it were at an airport. I always associate public restrooms with airports for some reason. Probably because, other than work and school, I avoid public restrooms as much as possible. I have to make an exception for airports, though, because if I don't, I'll be holding it a loooooong time. Sorry, TMI. But yes. I can't wait to be back in an airport, is the point. Airports mean home. Except when it's the other end of the trip and it means leaving again. But still. Ah. Can't wait.
But first - next weekend I'm going to Notre Dame. And I'm nervous. First of all, because I'm driving 10 hours on Friday and 10 hours on Sunday just to do it. A little ridiculous, and scary to do alone. (Not that I haven't driven a distance like that by myself before, but still. Would be nice to have a companion to come along.) And...well, I guess that's most of my hesitation. I'll get there Friday night sometime, and will probably go to the bar shortly thereafter (haven't been to the Backer in over two years, obviously...ought to be interesting...). Saturday. Football. Traditions. Notre Dame. Oh, it'll be glorious just to be back on campus. Hopefully walk around a little, see some of the sights my eyes have been missing for so long. Oh man. And hopefully I'll get some sleep Saturday night because, did I mention? Ten hours of driving awaits me on Sunday...but before that. Oh, before that. My heart will be reunited with one of its favorite places on earth. The Basilica. That place where I did so much praying, so much growing, so much Church-loving. The most beautiful man-made place I've ever seen. (Nostalgic much?)
I'm apprehensive because I'm always like that when I'm doing something out of my routine (except when it involves my family visiting, or visiting my family, I've noticed - gosh, maybe I really just need to cut the umbilical cord), and I always second-guess myself up until it's time to do whatever it is I'm doing, and then I typically have a good time. Even knowing this, I'm still apprehensive. It's going to be a whirlwind weekend. Not very restful. But man, will it ever be good to be back at ND, even just for not even 48 hours. To see at least some of the old crew. Maybe have a shot with Schott. For old time's sake, of course. Yay. :-)
In the meantime, knitting. And schoolwork, I suppose. Man, it's so much easier to keep up with reading for only three classes instead of four. I never understood why people are surprised to hear my program makes us take five classes (but one of them audited), when I used to have five non-audit classes every semester at ND. But now, I get it. It's a heck of a lot easier to keep up with and internalize readings for three classes instead of four. Plus the audit. Which I read when I can.
One week to ND. Fourpointfive to Colorado. And then just three or four after that to Christmas break!
I had a revelation the other day. Maybe it's not so much a revelation as...I don't know, something else. Maybe it was obvious. Maybe I've even mentioned it before. Anyway, point is, I realized that one of the things that makes being here so hard is that I don't have anyone. I don't have my peeps, as they say. (Who "they" are, I'm not sure, but I think someone somewhere says that.) But seriously, if anything really serious were to go wrong out here, I don't have someone to turn to, you know? All my family and friends are elsewhere. Especially my parents. I hate that feeling. It's so unsecure. (No, not insecure. Unsecure.) My safety net is thousands of miles away. Ugh, it's a terrible feeling. It really is. But that's why I have this incredible need to go home. Even just for Thanksgiving weekend. And I can't think about anything else. When I'm home, I'm safe. Maybe it's bad that I don't feel safe elsewhere, but I don't. (Not in a "I feel like I'm going to be mugged around every corner" way, but in an unsettled way.) Bad things can and do happen there, sure. But I'm not alone when they do.
I think it's ok that I feel that way, really. It's good for families to stay close to one another. My family is the lone wolf in our bunch of relatives, or was for many years before some cousins and such moved long distances away from the northeast region. I didn't get to grow up with a bunch of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents around all the time. I'm glad I grew up in Colorado, but I'm sad I missed out on that. And I don't want to have to experience that again, should I ever get married and have kids. It's ok for me to go home again. I mean, sure, I really have no idea what's going to happen in my future, but short-term, it's ok.
We had to read a book earlier this month called Hannah Coulter, a fiction by Wendell Berry, and it deals a lot with the theme of place and its importance in people's lives. Berry's view might be a little unrealistic, especially for the time and culture in which we live now, but the ideas behind it are spot on. (Maybe not for everyone, as some people have different callings that take them all over.) Family is important. Being nearby is important. Where one lives is not incidental to his or her life.
I'm not sure what I'm getting at, but all I know is, my place is with my family. In Colorado. Colorado, whose very name thrills me to my fingertips. (Name that reference!)
All this to say, I cannot wait to get home for Thanksgiving. Oh, how delightful to be going.
I'm so excited about it that every time I use semi-public restrooms (the ones at work and at school), I wish it were at an airport. I always associate public restrooms with airports for some reason. Probably because, other than work and school, I avoid public restrooms as much as possible. I have to make an exception for airports, though, because if I don't, I'll be holding it a loooooong time. Sorry, TMI. But yes. I can't wait to be back in an airport, is the point. Airports mean home. Except when it's the other end of the trip and it means leaving again. But still. Ah. Can't wait.
But first - next weekend I'm going to Notre Dame. And I'm nervous. First of all, because I'm driving 10 hours on Friday and 10 hours on Sunday just to do it. A little ridiculous, and scary to do alone. (Not that I haven't driven a distance like that by myself before, but still. Would be nice to have a companion to come along.) And...well, I guess that's most of my hesitation. I'll get there Friday night sometime, and will probably go to the bar shortly thereafter (haven't been to the Backer in over two years, obviously...ought to be interesting...). Saturday. Football. Traditions. Notre Dame. Oh, it'll be glorious just to be back on campus. Hopefully walk around a little, see some of the sights my eyes have been missing for so long. Oh man. And hopefully I'll get some sleep Saturday night because, did I mention? Ten hours of driving awaits me on Sunday...but before that. Oh, before that. My heart will be reunited with one of its favorite places on earth. The Basilica. That place where I did so much praying, so much growing, so much Church-loving. The most beautiful man-made place I've ever seen. (Nostalgic much?)
I'm apprehensive because I'm always like that when I'm doing something out of my routine (except when it involves my family visiting, or visiting my family, I've noticed - gosh, maybe I really just need to cut the umbilical cord), and I always second-guess myself up until it's time to do whatever it is I'm doing, and then I typically have a good time. Even knowing this, I'm still apprehensive. It's going to be a whirlwind weekend. Not very restful. But man, will it ever be good to be back at ND, even just for not even 48 hours. To see at least some of the old crew. Maybe have a shot with Schott. For old time's sake, of course. Yay. :-)
In the meantime, knitting. And schoolwork, I suppose. Man, it's so much easier to keep up with reading for only three classes instead of four. I never understood why people are surprised to hear my program makes us take five classes (but one of them audited), when I used to have five non-audit classes every semester at ND. But now, I get it. It's a heck of a lot easier to keep up with and internalize readings for three classes instead of four. Plus the audit. Which I read when I can.
One week to ND. Fourpointfive to Colorado. And then just three or four after that to Christmas break!
Yay for positive witnesses!
So, I never watch this show. I don't know anyone who watches it. BUT. Apparently people do, because one of the Catholic sites I go to linked to it the other day.
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/undercover_boss/video/
This past week, it was the CEO of Frontier Airlines. If you click that link and go to his episode, he starts talking about his family at about the 3:15 mark. And, get this - he says that after he and his wife decided they had enough kids, they practiced contraception, but then had a spiritual awakening or something and realized that they had to give everything up to God, including their family size. He says that. On national TV. Yay for big Catholic families! I've been a fan of Frontier for awhile, and might be more inclined to choose them now.
Anyway, related to that, I also read this article the other day: Contraception: The Bitter Pill. It's quite good. Kind of a long article, but definitely worth the read. (Granted, it's kind of a topic I'm particularly interested in, so of course I think it's worth reading.) People don't get the harm that is inherent in contraceptive use. I sit in my classes here, and we talk about stuff like that, and the way things used to be (even waaaaaaay back when, you know, like when the Bible was written), and see the beauty in how things were, and the way things were created, and how we've messed it up royally. Anyway. Sometimes it amazes me that people just don't see this stuff, stuff the Church has been teaching since it began, things that are still relevant and true today.
Gosh. Being Catholic makes me so happy. And it makes me so happy to see other people embrace it too. And be positive witnesses for it on national TV!
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/undercover_boss/video/
This past week, it was the CEO of Frontier Airlines. If you click that link and go to his episode, he starts talking about his family at about the 3:15 mark. And, get this - he says that after he and his wife decided they had enough kids, they practiced contraception, but then had a spiritual awakening or something and realized that they had to give everything up to God, including their family size. He says that. On national TV. Yay for big Catholic families! I've been a fan of Frontier for awhile, and might be more inclined to choose them now.
Anyway, related to that, I also read this article the other day: Contraception: The Bitter Pill. It's quite good. Kind of a long article, but definitely worth the read. (Granted, it's kind of a topic I'm particularly interested in, so of course I think it's worth reading.) People don't get the harm that is inherent in contraceptive use. I sit in my classes here, and we talk about stuff like that, and the way things used to be (even waaaaaaay back when, you know, like when the Bible was written), and see the beauty in how things were, and the way things were created, and how we've messed it up royally. Anyway. Sometimes it amazes me that people just don't see this stuff, stuff the Church has been teaching since it began, things that are still relevant and true today.
Gosh. Being Catholic makes me so happy. And it makes me so happy to see other people embrace it too. And be positive witnesses for it on national TV!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
A-happenings
I've felt so much better the last few days than I have most of the semester. I'm not exactly sure why, but I have a few theories:
- I had a midterm on Wednesday, so once that got out of the way, I could breathe a bit again. I had taken my final the week before, and then this midterm was done, and now I just have my three (non-audit) classes to worry about for reading, which takes a lot of pressure off. And that's good.
- I decided to go home for Thanksgiving. I tried not to, but in the end, I just needed to. I was going to do it on Thanksgiving, so it'd be cheaper, but then...well, I ended up paying a bit more to go home the day before. And I'm so excited. I know it'll be so good for my mental health, and I really like being sane. Plus, I just love Thanksgiving and all it entails, and I'm glad I get to celebrate it with my dear family (minus our favorite little brother).
- I also decided to go to ND for a game in two weeks. The main reason (aside from the fact that oh my GOODNESS I miss it, and all of a sudden today started thinking about how nice it might have been to go to ND for my masters degree...) is that a friend of mine offered to give me tickets for that weekend. For free, you understand. And my Chicago ND friends who go for practically every home game have friends in the area that they stay with, so I don't have to worry about that, and all I have to worry about is getting there. It's 10 hours to drive, so that's not exactly wonderful, but it's probably something like two tanks of gas each way. Could be worse. I just think I'd regret it if I spent two years out here, marginally closer to ND than Colorado is, and didn't go for a visit. ESPECIALLY if I can go to a game for free. Oh man. I miss it. It's not at all the same visiting as opposed to living there and being a student (and man, now all of a sudden I just wish so much I had gone there instead of here...sigh), but I miss it and visiting is better than nothing.
- It's stupid, but I'm still loving the Chile miners' story. I hope they all manage this sudden fame and whatnot ok. Man, I love inspiring stories like that.
- I love knitting. And having things to knit. And having yarn to knit the things I have to knit.
- Oh, and did I mention, I'm going home for Thanksgiving? Still over a month away (39 days, to be exact, I think), but that's soooo much better than two months away. Which is what going home for Christmas would be. I can't wait. I can't can't wait. I'm nervous about having to drive up to Baltimore on the day before Thanksgiving (terrible day to drive, esp in DC, where I've heard something like 20% of the population exoduses since, you know, no one is actually from here). And I'll have to figure out long-term parking and such by myself - I'll probably do one of those off-site places, as there's one I've seen that has good reviews and is just as if not cheaper than the actual airport long-term parking. But once I get there, and am on the plane, I'll be golden. It's a direct flight to Denver, which is nice. I'm flying Southwest (first time ever, I think), and decided to pay a few bucks extra to have like priority seating, or something, since it's a first-come first-served deal with seats. This way I get to go after like business class or whatever and those kinds of people, but before just the regular people who get seating assignment numbers when they do check-in. Hopefully it'll save me a little hassle and let me get a window seat. Because a middle seat for a 4 hour flight? Not my idea of fun.
- Point is, I'm going HOME! And I'll get to take my dog to Palmer Park. And the park around my house. And have delicious Thanksgiving food with my family. And hold my dog on my lap. And give her puppy kisses on her sweet little Nutmeggy head. Oh gosh. I miss her. Oh! And see my fun nephews. I miss them tons too. I can't wait.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
To the rescue!
Last night, I watched live video of the first Chilean miner to be taken out of the mine after having been stuck down there for 69 days. I'm not one given easily to crying, but when his little son ran up to him and gave him a hug, crying, for the first time in over two months, I might have teared up a little bit. A couple of hours later, I watched the fourth guy come up, and while he was making the ascent they showed a few minutes of either the second or the third guy getting out of an ambulance, going into some building, and hugging what I assume are a couple of his family members (maybe siblings or something). It's just so cool.
I just watched the 12th guy come up. I don't have sound here (and last night when I was watching, none of it was translated anyway so sound or not doesn't make much difference), but it's still so fascinating to watch. I mean, can you imagine? Being stuck half a mile down in the earth for almost 70 days, and finally being able to stand on the surface of the earth again. To see sunlight again. Even those who came up in the middle of the night last night had sunglasses on. I can't imagine what that would be like - especially those coming up now, with the full brightness of day. Must be some pretty strong sunglasses. (It's kind of funny - I'm currently in the middle of re-reading The Silver Chair, the fourth book in the Chronicles of Narnia series, and the whole climax of the book, more or less, takes place in this city way way underground from which the main characters have to rescue the Prince. It's interesting to think about in light of this.)
Gosh, it's just so...inspiring. Seems like a trite word to use, but oh well. Triumph of the human spirit, and all. Everyone who worked together, so hard, so that they could reach and rescue these miners. (At least some of whom, if not all, seem to have pretty strong faith. In God. They even build a shrine to Our Lady in the mine.) Such a lesson in patience, that's for sure.
An awesome story about the second miner to be rescued.
Article about each miner's first minutes out.
Live blog of the rescue. (And another here, which I think is better.)
Pope prays for the miners.
Seriously, this is endlessly fascinating. No one could write a better story than this whole saga. And it's just so beautiful! The completely unscripted, real emotions that they all show every time a new miner reaches the surface and greets friends and loved ones....really, you can't write this stuff. And the rescuers! There are three men who voluntarily went down into the mine to help get the miners out, one by one. Better than reality TV for sure, bringing the whole world together. I love that this is getting top-billing on news channels. Such good news for once! Lovely. So lovely.
I just watched the 12th guy come up. I don't have sound here (and last night when I was watching, none of it was translated anyway so sound or not doesn't make much difference), but it's still so fascinating to watch. I mean, can you imagine? Being stuck half a mile down in the earth for almost 70 days, and finally being able to stand on the surface of the earth again. To see sunlight again. Even those who came up in the middle of the night last night had sunglasses on. I can't imagine what that would be like - especially those coming up now, with the full brightness of day. Must be some pretty strong sunglasses. (It's kind of funny - I'm currently in the middle of re-reading The Silver Chair, the fourth book in the Chronicles of Narnia series, and the whole climax of the book, more or less, takes place in this city way way underground from which the main characters have to rescue the Prince. It's interesting to think about in light of this.)
Gosh, it's just so...inspiring. Seems like a trite word to use, but oh well. Triumph of the human spirit, and all. Everyone who worked together, so hard, so that they could reach and rescue these miners. (At least some of whom, if not all, seem to have pretty strong faith. In God. They even build a shrine to Our Lady in the mine.) Such a lesson in patience, that's for sure.
An awesome story about the second miner to be rescued.
Article about each miner's first minutes out.
Live blog of the rescue. (And another here, which I think is better.)
Pope prays for the miners.
Seriously, this is endlessly fascinating. No one could write a better story than this whole saga. And it's just so beautiful! The completely unscripted, real emotions that they all show every time a new miner reaches the surface and greets friends and loved ones....really, you can't write this stuff. And the rescuers! There are three men who voluntarily went down into the mine to help get the miners out, one by one. Better than reality TV for sure, bringing the whole world together. I love that this is getting top-billing on news channels. Such good news for once! Lovely. So lovely.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Deplorable State of Down Syndrome
I came across this article today, found on the Aggie Catholics blog. Down syndrome comes up a lot in pro-life discussions, because did you know that over 90% of babies who are diagnosed with Down syndrome while in the womb are aborted? 90%. I mean, just think about that. And think about the fact that there are often false positives (although, really, we can't know how often because usually these babies are killed). There have been numerous examples of people who are told their baby will have Down syndrome, but choose (against most medical advice these days) to carry the baby to term anyway, and go on to have a perfectly healthy baby without Down syndrome. But even if every single positive was a true positive, that wouldn't be any less reason to let these children live. I mean...it just boggles my mind that people think something like this is reason to kill their own child. And what about this recent case in Canada? A couple wanted a child so badly that they used the (immoral) means of a surrogate mother to have one, and yet, when first trimester tests showed that the baby had signs of Down syndrome, they told the surrogate to have an abortion. This baby, this child they were willing to do literally anything to get, they decided to kill because it wasn't perfect enough for their standards. How is that ok? I mean, read this choice quote from the article:
It makes me so, so sad. I mean, abortion in general is such a sad, horrific thing. But the fact that people with Down syndrome are, essentially, becoming an endangered group - and not because they're being "cured" - is tragic. I'll admit that my exposure to people with Down syndrome is very limited. To the point where I'm not sure I've even really ever met someone with it, and if so then not more than just in passing. But there's something about them that I find so...beautiful, I guess. Maybe that sounds pro-life cliche, but whatever.
Some people try to justify killing these children by saying "No one would want to live like that," or "It's more merciful for the children," or "I'm just saving my child from a lifetime of suffering," or some other variant of that theme. I would venture to guess, though, that many people with Down syndrome are so much happier than those of us who were allowed to be born because we're "normal." Again, I haven't known many people with Down syndrome, but those that I've seen seem to exude happiness. I'm sure there's suffering there, too, but show me someone who's "normal" who hasn't experienced suffering in his or her life. Show me someone who hasn't had periods of unhappiness, even depression. Being born "normal" doesn't mean a lifetime of rainbows and butterflies and puppy dogs and lollipops.
I'm not trying to discount the huge sacrifices that are involved in raising a child with Down syndrome. But what in life doesn't involve sacrifice of some kind? Sacrifices help us grow. Well, unless possibly a person is sacrificing things like family in favor of material goods. I doubt that aids in growing the way we ought to grow. Whenever I talk about things like this, though, I feel the need to add the "I can't personally say I have any idea what it's like" caveat. But I know that there's an ultimate Truth, and I know with 100% certainty that certain things go against that Truth. Abortion - and in particular abortion as eugenics, as this is - definitely goes against Truth. And it makes me so, so angry. Especially the fact that women who do go through the testing that screens for Down syndrome (among other abnormalities), and get positives, are pressured by their doctors to terminate their pregnancies. How is that ok? How can we as a country let that happen, let that be the norm? From what I hear, it pretty much is the norm now. And they expect everyone to submit to this testing, too. Really, though, the only purpose is to determine whether or not someone would want to abort her child. It's ridiculous.
I really hope more people start to speak out about this. That New York Times article I linked to is three years old, I think. I hope there are more things like that being done, groups trying to show the inherent dignity and worth of everyone - even those deemed imperfect and worthy of termination. In a country that seems to be so gung-ho about tolerance, I can't believe that 90% of people with Down syndrome are killed. How is that tolerant? The media are so pro-gay, and yet how often do you hear about the hate crimes being done to this huge minority group? (Not that they shouldn't talk about hate crimes done to gay people, but that is not the only issue in our society today.) And now I'm getting overly emotional and off-topic, so I think it's time to end this while I'm not-quite-ahead.
Just...pray. God wins in the end, but we have to fight too.
Sally Rhoads, a former surrogate who runs a website supporting those involved in “third party reproduction,” told the Post that parents should be “protected” in the event of a disagreement over whether to have the unborn baby killed by abortion or not. “The baby that’s being carried is their baby. It’s usually their genetic offspring,” she said. “Why should the intended parents be forced to raise a child they didn’t want? It’s not fair.”A child they didn't want? They wanted this child. Enough to pay another woman to nurture it for the first nine months of its life. But not enough, apparently, to be willing to make the sacrifices involved in raising a child with disabilities.
It makes me so, so sad. I mean, abortion in general is such a sad, horrific thing. But the fact that people with Down syndrome are, essentially, becoming an endangered group - and not because they're being "cured" - is tragic. I'll admit that my exposure to people with Down syndrome is very limited. To the point where I'm not sure I've even really ever met someone with it, and if so then not more than just in passing. But there's something about them that I find so...beautiful, I guess. Maybe that sounds pro-life cliche, but whatever.
Some people try to justify killing these children by saying "No one would want to live like that," or "It's more merciful for the children," or "I'm just saving my child from a lifetime of suffering," or some other variant of that theme. I would venture to guess, though, that many people with Down syndrome are so much happier than those of us who were allowed to be born because we're "normal." Again, I haven't known many people with Down syndrome, but those that I've seen seem to exude happiness. I'm sure there's suffering there, too, but show me someone who's "normal" who hasn't experienced suffering in his or her life. Show me someone who hasn't had periods of unhappiness, even depression. Being born "normal" doesn't mean a lifetime of rainbows and butterflies and puppy dogs and lollipops.
I'm not trying to discount the huge sacrifices that are involved in raising a child with Down syndrome. But what in life doesn't involve sacrifice of some kind? Sacrifices help us grow. Well, unless possibly a person is sacrificing things like family in favor of material goods. I doubt that aids in growing the way we ought to grow. Whenever I talk about things like this, though, I feel the need to add the "I can't personally say I have any idea what it's like" caveat. But I know that there's an ultimate Truth, and I know with 100% certainty that certain things go against that Truth. Abortion - and in particular abortion as eugenics, as this is - definitely goes against Truth. And it makes me so, so angry. Especially the fact that women who do go through the testing that screens for Down syndrome (among other abnormalities), and get positives, are pressured by their doctors to terminate their pregnancies. How is that ok? How can we as a country let that happen, let that be the norm? From what I hear, it pretty much is the norm now. And they expect everyone to submit to this testing, too. Really, though, the only purpose is to determine whether or not someone would want to abort her child. It's ridiculous.
I really hope more people start to speak out about this. That New York Times article I linked to is three years old, I think. I hope there are more things like that being done, groups trying to show the inherent dignity and worth of everyone - even those deemed imperfect and worthy of termination. In a country that seems to be so gung-ho about tolerance, I can't believe that 90% of people with Down syndrome are killed. How is that tolerant? The media are so pro-gay, and yet how often do you hear about the hate crimes being done to this huge minority group? (Not that they shouldn't talk about hate crimes done to gay people, but that is not the only issue in our society today.) And now I'm getting overly emotional and off-topic, so I think it's time to end this while I'm not-quite-ahead.
Just...pray. God wins in the end, but we have to fight too.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Seven Quick Takes Volume XVIII
1. My Swift bag came on Wednesday. Not sure if I mentioned that here or not. It's pretty awesome. We're still getting used to each other, but so far I'm a happy camper. It's amazing how much it fits in there. And it comes with this thing called a "stuff sack" or something like that, which has a clear bottom, a drawstring tie, and a clip to clip into the main bag itself. And inside it has another clip thing, except it's specifically for your yarn to thread through, because the stuff sacks are actually made to keep knitting projects in, within the bag itself, but separated from everything else in the big bag. So that's awesome, and I bought an extra one too since rare is the time that I only have one project going at one time. They're nice because I can keep them in the bag and they keep my knitting safe from falling off the needles, etc, and I can take them out of the bag and work from them on the couch or wherever. And they just keep it all contained. I like it.
2. I think I'm going to make these one day soon. Oh, maybe you can't see them if you don't sign into the website. If that's the case, sorry. They're fingerless gloves, but it's two different colors throughout. I haven't done a lot of projects where I change colors, and I've done even fewer where the colors change continuously (as opposed to doing x number of rows in color A, and y number of rows in color B. This is switching back and forth every other row, and even every other stitch in places). One of my goals is to get comfortable with doing a lot of colorwork within projects, like fair isle and things like that. Someday. You know, when I have time to kill and all. (Not that I don't find time to kill now, but it's usually at the expense of something I should probably be doing more.)
3. Like this. I really want to do that. A lot.
4. This week, I finished the big project I had going. And tonight I finished one of the couple smaller ones I had, and am almost done a third smaller one. And apparently I have a scarf still on the needles that I started at least two years ago, and it's about the proper length for a scarf so I'll finish that up soon too. (I think one of my least favorite things is finishing projects. Which is kind of silly, when you think about it.) And then what? I do have a few things I've promised people and/or am planning for gifts. For some reason I'm not so motivated to do them yet, though. I go through weird phases in my knitting. Sometimes it's like the more projects I have, the more I want to do. The fewer I have going, the fewer I want to start. It's weird. There are also things I really want to do one of these days, but don't really have people to do them for, and I don't like knitting without a purpose. Maybe someday I'll try my hand at selling stuff, and then getting money for projects might motivate me more, but I don't know. Honestly, the idea of selling something I make seems a little weird. Half the reason I enjoy knitting (or, really, maybe more like 42%) is to know that it's for someone I know and/or love, and that they'll hopefully, theoretically enjoy it as well. But to make something just to sell it to someone I don't know seems...weird. But maybe I'll get over that, if I ever go that route. Or maybe I'll just make things to donate to charities. That seems less weird to me.
5. That big project I mentioned? I just pulled it out of the dryer. Oh man. SO soft and squishy. As most good knitting projects should be. Love. Love love love. It's amazing how much a wash and dry session can change a project. I mean, it was soft enough before. But now? Lovely. So lovely.
6. This morning, I woke up when my alarm went off, and then proceeded to sleep for another hour until I woke up when I was supposed to be leaving in order to make it to school for the 8:30 Mass. I still wanted to try, though, so I got ready as fast as I could, managed to leave about fifteen or twenty minutes later, and prayed that I could make it in time. Decided to stick with our typical routine of saying a Rosary on the way. And wouldn't you know it, traffic was surprisingly good, and I managed to make it to school just a few minutes late. AND there was one empty spot in the 2 hour Shrine parking, which was awesome.
7. Oh, I got the thrill of the week a couple days ago. I was on Netflix Instant, and was browsing their "recently added" just to see what they had on their, and lo and behold something came up that I've been wanting to be there for almost a year now: Monk. You can't imagine how excited I am about that. That show, it just makes me so happy. So so happy. As happy as a little girl. I love that show. Monk is one of my favorite characters ever created, I think. Man. So good.
2. I think I'm going to make these one day soon. Oh, maybe you can't see them if you don't sign into the website. If that's the case, sorry. They're fingerless gloves, but it's two different colors throughout. I haven't done a lot of projects where I change colors, and I've done even fewer where the colors change continuously (as opposed to doing x number of rows in color A, and y number of rows in color B. This is switching back and forth every other row, and even every other stitch in places). One of my goals is to get comfortable with doing a lot of colorwork within projects, like fair isle and things like that. Someday. You know, when I have time to kill and all. (Not that I don't find time to kill now, but it's usually at the expense of something I should probably be doing more.)
3. Like this. I really want to do that. A lot.
4. This week, I finished the big project I had going. And tonight I finished one of the couple smaller ones I had, and am almost done a third smaller one. And apparently I have a scarf still on the needles that I started at least two years ago, and it's about the proper length for a scarf so I'll finish that up soon too. (I think one of my least favorite things is finishing projects. Which is kind of silly, when you think about it.) And then what? I do have a few things I've promised people and/or am planning for gifts. For some reason I'm not so motivated to do them yet, though. I go through weird phases in my knitting. Sometimes it's like the more projects I have, the more I want to do. The fewer I have going, the fewer I want to start. It's weird. There are also things I really want to do one of these days, but don't really have people to do them for, and I don't like knitting without a purpose. Maybe someday I'll try my hand at selling stuff, and then getting money for projects might motivate me more, but I don't know. Honestly, the idea of selling something I make seems a little weird. Half the reason I enjoy knitting (or, really, maybe more like 42%) is to know that it's for someone I know and/or love, and that they'll hopefully, theoretically enjoy it as well. But to make something just to sell it to someone I don't know seems...weird. But maybe I'll get over that, if I ever go that route. Or maybe I'll just make things to donate to charities. That seems less weird to me.
5. That big project I mentioned? I just pulled it out of the dryer. Oh man. SO soft and squishy. As most good knitting projects should be. Love. Love love love. It's amazing how much a wash and dry session can change a project. I mean, it was soft enough before. But now? Lovely. So lovely.
6. This morning, I woke up when my alarm went off, and then proceeded to sleep for another hour until I woke up when I was supposed to be leaving in order to make it to school for the 8:30 Mass. I still wanted to try, though, so I got ready as fast as I could, managed to leave about fifteen or twenty minutes later, and prayed that I could make it in time. Decided to stick with our typical routine of saying a Rosary on the way. And wouldn't you know it, traffic was surprisingly good, and I managed to make it to school just a few minutes late. AND there was one empty spot in the 2 hour Shrine parking, which was awesome.
7. Oh, I got the thrill of the week a couple days ago. I was on Netflix Instant, and was browsing their "recently added" just to see what they had on their, and lo and behold something came up that I've been wanting to be there for almost a year now: Monk. You can't imagine how excited I am about that. That show, it just makes me so happy. So so happy. As happy as a little girl. I love that show. Monk is one of my favorite characters ever created, I think. Man. So good.
Monday, October 04, 2010
Autumnal Achings
You guys, it's wonderfully fall here today. I don't think it got past mid-50s, and it was kinda rainy this morning and then overcast the rest of the day. So nice. I broke out the hat and scarf. Tights, boots, longer skirt. Triple shirts (including a sweater!). Mmm. Soup for lunch AND dinner. Probably going to make myself some tea in a bit. Glorious.
But at the same time, fall makes me yearn for back home. This is the first time EVER I won't be in Colorado for at least a tiny bit of the autumnal season. Last year I was home for a weekend, this past weekend actually, for a friend's wedding. And Thanksgiving, of course. Every year I was at ND I came home for our October fall break, and again for Thanksgiving. This year? Nothing. I mean, fall in Colorado isn't really anything spectacular, but fall is just so...family for me. I don't know why. The coziness that comes from the newly chilly days and nights (before it gets old, as it sometimes can by the waning months of winter), all those family-oriented holidays (although, for me, most holidays are family-oriented), sitting in the family room with the fire going, going on walks in the afternoon around the greenway by my house when it's nice and chilly...Although that's more of a solitary venture. But still. I miss Colorado so much right now. :-( I really want to go for a walk in the cold. But not here. Back home. With Nutmeg. Around the park. And Palmer Park. Siiiiiigh. This is such torture. Torture, I tell you. I love fall. But I hate it here. Such a contradiction. (Ok, I don't really HATE it here, but I don't really like it either. Especially not when I can't get Colorado out of my mind. And I don't like the thought that maybe next fall I won't be in Colorado Springs, even if I'm back in Colorado. I guess that'll be better than nothing. I really hope I'm back in Colorado Springs, though.)
Turning that parenthetical thought into its own paragraph now...I know I need to trust God, and as long as I can aim for the Springs and hit somewhere nearby, in the general vicinity, I'll be mostly happy, but what I really want is to be back with my family, back in the Springs. I really want that. But every time I think that to myself, I think...what is there for me to do there? The diocese is pretty small. There aren't a whole lot of Catholic programs and organizations. It's a very evangelical city, not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but it limits my options a bit. I doubt a lot of evangelical organizations have a yen for someone with a Master's degree from a very Catholic background. I could be wrong. Can I tell you a secret? Ok, so first, I have to say I'm so torn. I know that the Catholic culture is so much better in Denver. Better churches (not that that's exactly difficult...), lots more Catholic opportunities, the awesome seminary up there, etc. But I want to live in the Springs. I love the Springs. I mean...I don't, really, in that there are a lot of things about it I'm not too crazy about. But I love it. It's my home. Sigh. I guess it's better that God's in charge of this instead of me. I'll do what I can, see where my chips fall, and see what sticks, I guess. Oh, but my secret. I might really want to work at the pregnancy center in the Springs where I volunteered (a whole one time) a few summers back. At that point I didn't have lots of extra time, or something, or was just about to leave for school again, I forget. But I couldn't do much. But I might see if they need someone next year when I graduate. That could be a possibility. Anyway. It's all maybes and ifs and hypotheticals right now. I hate that. But soon enough, something will be figured out. And maybe I can be completely impractical and get a job in Denver and still live in the Springs! Double win! haha. Minus, you know, transportation costs, and all that...
Well. Back to the point at hand. Autumn. Ok, well I guess I've actually exhausted that topic.
The other topic, which has nothing to do with autumn, rendering the title of this post ridiculous, is my failure as a graduate student. The longer I'm here, the more I realize how much I suck. We had a final today for our month-long intensive Theology of the Body class, and man. I felt so disappointed in myself when I walked out. So disappointed. As usual. I know I'm not the best when it comes to studying, but I tried to stay alert and focused and keep up with the readings for this class. I know I should have studied more, but still, I got in there, and it was like, all I could do was very general overviews of semi-related topics to the questions that were asked. I never know details. I never remember the nitty-gritty. I can't remember facts that I need to, who said what and when and why. I have never felt like I'm fully "in" this program, and even when I want to be, I can't manage it. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like the information just bounces off of me. I worry that I'm going to fail comps in an epic and spectacular fashion, and that I won't even get my degree after all this. And there's also a part of me that thinks...I really don't even deserve a degree after all of this. Why am I here? Am I even getting anything from it? Is there a point? I just don't know.
I just don't know, folks. I don't know anything.
Except I miss Colorado. I do know that much. That's my place, and it's where I belong. Someday, at least. (And let's pray it's sooner than later!)
Oh, and...fall is awesome.
But at the same time, fall makes me yearn for back home. This is the first time EVER I won't be in Colorado for at least a tiny bit of the autumnal season. Last year I was home for a weekend, this past weekend actually, for a friend's wedding. And Thanksgiving, of course. Every year I was at ND I came home for our October fall break, and again for Thanksgiving. This year? Nothing. I mean, fall in Colorado isn't really anything spectacular, but fall is just so...family for me. I don't know why. The coziness that comes from the newly chilly days and nights (before it gets old, as it sometimes can by the waning months of winter), all those family-oriented holidays (although, for me, most holidays are family-oriented), sitting in the family room with the fire going, going on walks in the afternoon around the greenway by my house when it's nice and chilly...Although that's more of a solitary venture. But still. I miss Colorado so much right now. :-( I really want to go for a walk in the cold. But not here. Back home. With Nutmeg. Around the park. And Palmer Park. Siiiiiigh. This is such torture. Torture, I tell you. I love fall. But I hate it here. Such a contradiction. (Ok, I don't really HATE it here, but I don't really like it either. Especially not when I can't get Colorado out of my mind. And I don't like the thought that maybe next fall I won't be in Colorado Springs, even if I'm back in Colorado. I guess that'll be better than nothing. I really hope I'm back in Colorado Springs, though.)
Turning that parenthetical thought into its own paragraph now...I know I need to trust God, and as long as I can aim for the Springs and hit somewhere nearby, in the general vicinity, I'll be mostly happy, but what I really want is to be back with my family, back in the Springs. I really want that. But every time I think that to myself, I think...what is there for me to do there? The diocese is pretty small. There aren't a whole lot of Catholic programs and organizations. It's a very evangelical city, not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but it limits my options a bit. I doubt a lot of evangelical organizations have a yen for someone with a Master's degree from a very Catholic background. I could be wrong. Can I tell you a secret? Ok, so first, I have to say I'm so torn. I know that the Catholic culture is so much better in Denver. Better churches (not that that's exactly difficult...), lots more Catholic opportunities, the awesome seminary up there, etc. But I want to live in the Springs. I love the Springs. I mean...I don't, really, in that there are a lot of things about it I'm not too crazy about. But I love it. It's my home. Sigh. I guess it's better that God's in charge of this instead of me. I'll do what I can, see where my chips fall, and see what sticks, I guess. Oh, but my secret. I might really want to work at the pregnancy center in the Springs where I volunteered (a whole one time) a few summers back. At that point I didn't have lots of extra time, or something, or was just about to leave for school again, I forget. But I couldn't do much. But I might see if they need someone next year when I graduate. That could be a possibility. Anyway. It's all maybes and ifs and hypotheticals right now. I hate that. But soon enough, something will be figured out. And maybe I can be completely impractical and get a job in Denver and still live in the Springs! Double win! haha. Minus, you know, transportation costs, and all that...
Well. Back to the point at hand. Autumn. Ok, well I guess I've actually exhausted that topic.
The other topic, which has nothing to do with autumn, rendering the title of this post ridiculous, is my failure as a graduate student. The longer I'm here, the more I realize how much I suck. We had a final today for our month-long intensive Theology of the Body class, and man. I felt so disappointed in myself when I walked out. So disappointed. As usual. I know I'm not the best when it comes to studying, but I tried to stay alert and focused and keep up with the readings for this class. I know I should have studied more, but still, I got in there, and it was like, all I could do was very general overviews of semi-related topics to the questions that were asked. I never know details. I never remember the nitty-gritty. I can't remember facts that I need to, who said what and when and why. I have never felt like I'm fully "in" this program, and even when I want to be, I can't manage it. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like the information just bounces off of me. I worry that I'm going to fail comps in an epic and spectacular fashion, and that I won't even get my degree after all this. And there's also a part of me that thinks...I really don't even deserve a degree after all of this. Why am I here? Am I even getting anything from it? Is there a point? I just don't know.
I just don't know, folks. I don't know anything.
Except I miss Colorado. I do know that much. That's my place, and it's where I belong. Someday, at least. (And let's pray it's sooner than later!)
Oh, and...fall is awesome.
Friday, October 01, 2010
Seven Quick Takes Volume XVII
1. It's October. October. There are three months left in the year. Three. Long. Months. Haven't quite figured out how I feel about it all yet. (But I am glad for fall finally starting to be here. Autumn. Such nice sound.)
2. I'm currently watching The Unsinkable Molly Brown, thanks to my dear and beautiful sister. It's SOOOOO inaccurate to the actual story, but oh, I love it. And, hello, set (and filmed!) in Colorado! Mmm. Man I miss Colorado. I'm always surprised when I come across people who don't know who Molly Brown is, but then, I guess she's more of a Colorado historical person than a country-wide one. Even if she was on the Titanic (hence the name). I mean, I wouldn't expect anyone outside of Colorado Springs to know who William Palmer was. But then, William Palmer wasn't depicted in a major motion picture that broke all sorts of records, either.
3. Next summer, I'm going to take a trip to Leadville. Actually, I wish I could just take a month or so and go to all those places in Colorado I've never gone but really want to. Leadville, Telluride, Ouray, Gunnison (including Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park), Aspen, maybe some return trips to Mesa Verde, always RMNP, etc. St. Malo's. And 14ers all over! Gosh. That would be like the best thing EVER.
4. I had been thinking about taking a trip to the Mall tomorrow - maybe Lincoln, or the National Gallery of Art. But then, no, this is DC, and it seems like every weekend there's some rally or another going on. And tomorrow, oh, tomorrow's a doozy. It's called One Nation Working Together, or something. Supported by such lovely groups as Planned Parenthood, Queers for Economic Justice, and the Communist Party of the USA. Sheesh. I want to be nowhere near that. I want to go down there when there aren't crowds. And specifically, when there aren't crowds of uber liberals. Oh well.
5. I'm having issues with some of my classes this semester, for various reasons, but overall they're so much more enjoyable than last year's. I mean, even in my current...whatever state, I can't help but sit there and marvel at the beauty that is the teaching of the Catholic Church. I guess this deserves something expanded, but I'm just going to leave it at that. Being Catholic = awesome. Best thing my parents ever did for me.
6. So, ok, I love this movie (Molly Brown), but dude. The end? Sorta creepy. But maybe that's because I just have this thing about people hiding behind open doors. (Not that he was hiding behind the door, but...yeah.) Also, I don't know how many times I've seen this movie, but this is the first time I noticed that the brass bed at the end is from their house in the beginning. Duh, Susie.
7. I really can't wait for Christmas. So much. For so many reasons. Although, Christmas Day is sometimes more depressing than I'd like...but I really love the preparations for it. (I just wish most of the prep time weren't filled with end-of-semester stuff and finals. Oh well). I'm sad I won't be home for Thanksgiving because it's the beginning of Christmas preparations, and I love it so. But...such is life, I suppose. Being home at Christmas will be fan-freaking-tastic. Even if it's disappointing. Because Colorado trumps here pretty much every time.
2. I'm currently watching The Unsinkable Molly Brown, thanks to my dear and beautiful sister. It's SOOOOO inaccurate to the actual story, but oh, I love it. And, hello, set (and filmed!) in Colorado! Mmm. Man I miss Colorado. I'm always surprised when I come across people who don't know who Molly Brown is, but then, I guess she's more of a Colorado historical person than a country-wide one. Even if she was on the Titanic (hence the name). I mean, I wouldn't expect anyone outside of Colorado Springs to know who William Palmer was. But then, William Palmer wasn't depicted in a major motion picture that broke all sorts of records, either.
3. Next summer, I'm going to take a trip to Leadville. Actually, I wish I could just take a month or so and go to all those places in Colorado I've never gone but really want to. Leadville, Telluride, Ouray, Gunnison (including Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park), Aspen, maybe some return trips to Mesa Verde, always RMNP, etc. St. Malo's. And 14ers all over! Gosh. That would be like the best thing EVER.
4. I had been thinking about taking a trip to the Mall tomorrow - maybe Lincoln, or the National Gallery of Art. But then, no, this is DC, and it seems like every weekend there's some rally or another going on. And tomorrow, oh, tomorrow's a doozy. It's called One Nation Working Together, or something. Supported by such lovely groups as Planned Parenthood, Queers for Economic Justice, and the Communist Party of the USA. Sheesh. I want to be nowhere near that. I want to go down there when there aren't crowds. And specifically, when there aren't crowds of uber liberals. Oh well.
5. I'm having issues with some of my classes this semester, for various reasons, but overall they're so much more enjoyable than last year's. I mean, even in my current...whatever state, I can't help but sit there and marvel at the beauty that is the teaching of the Catholic Church. I guess this deserves something expanded, but I'm just going to leave it at that. Being Catholic = awesome. Best thing my parents ever did for me.
6. So, ok, I love this movie (Molly Brown), but dude. The end? Sorta creepy. But maybe that's because I just have this thing about people hiding behind open doors. (Not that he was hiding behind the door, but...yeah.) Also, I don't know how many times I've seen this movie, but this is the first time I noticed that the brass bed at the end is from their house in the beginning. Duh, Susie.
7. I really can't wait for Christmas. So much. For so many reasons. Although, Christmas Day is sometimes more depressing than I'd like...but I really love the preparations for it. (I just wish most of the prep time weren't filled with end-of-semester stuff and finals. Oh well). I'm sad I won't be home for Thanksgiving because it's the beginning of Christmas preparations, and I love it so. But...such is life, I suppose. Being home at Christmas will be fan-freaking-tastic. Even if it's disappointing. Because Colorado trumps here pretty much every time.
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