Would anyone really be sad if I didn't post this?

Uh...what was I going to say?

Um....

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Oh, well, I got lucky today. I was driving to lunch (and it was so not worth the time or money or effort involved, either), and as I drove down Academy, I was going around...51 at the moment I'm discussing. The speed limit there is 40. Yes, I was speeding. Yes, I've been going 50 more often than not on Academy whether the limit is 40 or 45. It's bad, I know, and I'll get bit sooner or later. Luckily not today. I passed a side street going the said 51mph (give or take), and realized (before I passed it) that there was a motorcycle cop clocking. He could have pulled me over, because by the time I saw him he would have gotten my speed even had I put in the effort to slam on the breaks. I slowed down, but by that time it was pretty pointless. Thank God, he didn't pull me over. Quite lucky for me. I only went 5 over on the way back to work. I guess he wasn't interested in pulling over someone for going 10 over, thankfully. Not today, at least. But maybe tomorrow. So I need to start making sure I'm adhering to the "9 you're fine, 10 you're mine" thing. Five over is my acceptable limit. I've been bad about it lately, though. (And for some reason, it's worse when I'm in the Jeep than when I drive the Olds, not that I drive the Olds that much these days.)

I made an appointment today to go to the dentist. Friday at 5pm. $19 for a new patient visit, including check up and x-rays. Pretty sweet deal if you ask this un-dental insured girl. And that is where I shall learn the fate of the wisdom teeth. Or, at least figure out where to go from here. I'm pretty sure they'll tell me to get them taken out. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll say I can wait until they all poke through the gums. (No idea how long that will be, since so far it's just the one. I'm teething again! And man, I don't get why babies cry so much about it. They're such babies. Haha.) Maybe I'll be unlucky, and they'll tell me I have four impacted wisdom teeth that need out ASAP, plus three cavities that need to be filled, and bonus, I have the Gum Disease Gingivitis. Wouldn't that just be a dandy dentist trip? Sigh. Well, let's just hope that my thus-far good luck in the dental arena continues through Friday. At the very least, the anticipation is worse than not knowing anything, even if I do find out the worst.

I'm making changes in my life. Things I've needed to change for awhile, but just didn't want to. Now, I don't want not to anymore. So I'm trying. Time will tell how it goes. At the very least, I won't have to be as disgusted and disappointed with myself so much. I'm going to take chances. Go out on limbs. Take risks. (Well, risks for me, which are nowhere near risks for most people.) I'm going to try to take advantage of opportunities.

And I'm going to start going to bed at 11. (Or at least make sure I'm off the computer by 11. That's what always keeps me up longer than I want to be. It's so silly/stupid/ridiculous.)

One more thing: I love Michael Buble.

"Romeo loved Juliet,
Juliet she felt the same.
When he put his arms around her,
he said "Julie baby you're my flame.
Thou givest fever, when we kisseth,
fever with thy flaming youth.
Fever - I'm afire, fever yeah I burn forsooth."

Yeah, I know, he didn't write the lyrics, but I love his version of that song. I just love him. And his debut album, which I just bought myself last month? Yeah, it pretty much rocks. I mean, with Fever, Moondance, For Once in My Life, How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?, Crazy Little Thing Called Love (I love that one!), Sway, The Way You Look Tonight (this song always rocks), and more, how can it not rock? I just love his voice. So so much.

Here. I dare you to watch/listen to this and not dance (or itch to dance).


Ok. It's three minutes before 11. Time to hit the hay. Or something. Maybe I'll knit a row or four before I fall asleep. (See, that's another reason I should give up the Internet - then I'll be able to get a lot more knitting done! For what, though, I'm not sure...)

Goodnight!

Thinking about Lent

Believe it or not, Lent isn't too far away (as one of my co-workers has been telling us for two weeks now). Just about 8 weeks now. Anyway. Normally I give up something food-related, like soda, or candy, or something, and I'll probably do that again. Except I might do something more strict this year. But in addition to that, the past few years I've tried adding something to my prayer life in addition, like going to daily Mass or saying the Rosary or something. Last year it was daily Mass, and I wanted to do a daily Rosary but I didn't manage that. So I was thinking I'd do that this year. Except now I've started saying it every day already. I've been adding to my prayer life, too (and by adding I mean...actually having a consistent one).

Anyway, my point is, every time I think of something I might do for Lent, I'm already doing it. Except one thing that I really don't think I'd be able to do without a really convincing reason. Lent is a pretty convincing reason. I bet you could guess in three tries what I'm talking about. Internet. That's right, I'm considering giving up the Internet for Lent. Outside of work and work-related things. And, I guess, Gravity-related things when those come up. (So, with that stuff in mind, I'm thinking that I might just do something like giving myself an hour a night, or something. A specified hour.)

Anyway. Who knows if I'll be able to do that, and/or stick with it, but I've been thinking of doing it for a few years now, and maybe it's the right time this year. So, we'll see.

And if not that, I could always just do a 40 day fast. Haha. fun.

(Oh, and on a side note, Hazel is pretty much the cutest/prettiest puppy EVER. She's just...so cute. I can't even stand it.)

(AND, not a single one of the teams that anyone in my family follows made it into the playoffs. Not the Patriots, despite their 11-5 record (first time an 11-5 team hasn't made the playoffs since like the 80s), which in itself was a great feat considering Tom Brady got injured in the first quarter of the first game of the season, and they've had tons of other injuries throughout the season. Not the Broncos, despite having a 3 game lead in their division or something like a month ago. Not the Cowboys. Not the Raiders (uh, I think not, anyway - I never pay any attention to them). Not a one. Sigh. Oh well. Broncos and Patriots are playing next season. I don't know yet if it's in Denver or in Mass., but man wouldn't it be awesome if it were in Denver? I would do whatever possible to get tickets to that game. Well, maybe not anything. But I would LOVE to go. Of course, it'll probably be in Foxborough, and it won't matter anyway.) (YES!!! I just did some digging to try to find where that game will be, and it is, indeed, in Denver. Doesn't say when yet, but dude. I am so going to that game. Of course, with my luck, I'll be...I don't know, somewhere else. But whatever. Maybe 2009 will be the year I go to my first NFL game, first Patriots game, first pro-team-I-actually-cheer-for game.)

Anyway. Sorry about getting off-track...haha.

C'est fini

One month, 2961 stitches, and almost exactly five skeins of yarn.

May not have turned out exactly as good as I would have hoped (I actually think it's a tad on the wide side, or maybe just not quite long enough or something), but hey, it's pretty darned good, especially considering it's my first real-person afghan. (As opposed to the two baby blankets I knitted for my nephews. Neither of which were really very good.)

Pictures will be forthcoming. I may want to give it to the recipient before I put pictures on here. Not that it really matters, but yeah.

Yay!

(Now on to the next one...starting tomorrow?)

A Question to Those Smarter Than I

So, I'm reading this book - Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love by Edward Sri. It's a book sort of explaining John Paul II's Love and Responsibility in somewhat easier-to-understand terms, I guess. I'm only a few chapters into it, but it is pretty good so far.

However, I'm a little frustrated by the message (of the book and, presumably, Love and Responsibility). So far there's been a lot of talk about not being in relationships for what we can get out of them, but instead for what we can do for the other person. More or less. I understand this, and I agree with it, and that we shouldn't just be in relationships because of what we get from the other person (whatever that relationship might be). The thing is, though, that so far what I'm getting from it is that we shouldn't ever be in relationships that we get something from. I mean, I know it's not really saying that, but I'm getting really confused about what it is saying. To me, it's saying that I shouldn't derive pleasure from any of my relationships, because then I'm just in these relationships for their utilitarian value. It seems like it's saying that getting any pleasure from any relationship is a bad thing, and dooms the relationship to failure. But so far, it hasn't told me how to be in relationships without deriving pleasure from them.

I know this can't be what Sri and JPII really mean, but I can't figure out how to see it another way. (Maybe I should finish reading the book first, huh?) And I suppose it doesn't help that I've been criticized for being unable to be in a relationship unselfishly...While I don't really believe the person who said that, I still wonder if maybe it's true. But I can't figure it out. Does that mean that I need just to ignore myself, my desires, my happiness, in my relationships? Even if everything in me is screaming that it's not the right person, should I ignore that because I'm just being selfish? (Obviously that is more relating to romantic relationships, not just friendships.)

Anyway. I'm just wondering if anyone has any helpful insights for me (who is just about ready to throw up her hands, give up on any and all relationships, and go move into the mountains). I know I'm getting this wrong, but I need help getting it right.

Who uses that?

So, I just sat down and un-screen savered my laptop, and saw that my AIM window was blinking. I had several conversations open, so they were all grouped together. I accidentally hit right-click instead of left-click, so the thing popped up with a variety of things I could choose to do, as happens when you right-click. The bottom one, though, annoyingly, is "Close group". I hit left click, trying to close the thing that had popped up, but the mouse must have been high enough that it was on the "close group" option, and it closed all my AIM windows. So I have no idea who sent me an IM. Sigh. Obviously it's not a big deal, it's just annoying.

Seriously, why is that an option, though? Boo.

So...if you IMed me today and I didn't answer, sorry.

Oh, and I've now finally given in and gone from an old version of AIM (like, 5.something) to the latest version. They have things like conversation logging, and prompting to see if you really want to close the group if you have an unread IM. Sweet, and sold.

Random Friday Night Thoughts

Question: Why do people want to get married "in the Church" so badly if they don't want to live as the Church prescribes? I mean, for the most part I do understand it, but really, I don't. It's not just something to do because it's expected, or the family wants it, or any of that. It's a commitment, both to the person and to the Church. It's something that should be taken far more seriously. It's not something that should be done while trying to "get around" certain rules and restrictions and ways of living that the Church has. Eh, whatever. People will do what they'll do.

People keep telling me I'm overreacting about the wisdom teeth thing. I'm sure I am. But I'm a worrier; it's what I do. So I'm going to make an appointment at the dentist, and just go from there. And it'll all be fine.

I decided that I'm going to knit myself a little bag to keep my veils in. That's right, I got another one today. Except this one is white. Traditionally, white veils have been for girls and unmarried women, and black for married or widowed women. The first veil I got back in August is black, partly because I just liked black better, and it blends in better. But lately I've been thinking that I should be wearing a white one. And I think the fact that it does stand out a bit more might be good for me, too. So today I bought myself a white one. And I plan on wearing it on Sunday. Yay me.

Anyhoosiers. It's Friday night. That's nice. It's the weekend. I like weekends.

Word to the Wise...

So, I have an interesting feeling in my mouth tonight. Know what it is? A wisdom tooth poking through the gum. Greeeeeat...

I've been expecting this for a little while, because the gums in those four areas have been a little more sensitive and whatnot lately. And now I can feel and see one. I need to go to the dentist. When I went back in March, she told me I should see an oral surgeon about them sometime, but it didn't seem terribly dire. I'm hoping that this isn't going to be as awful as I fear it will be. Because I'm making a wild assumption and guessing that I'll have to get them removed.

And there's a reason that I'm 23 and still haven't gotten them removed.

Had I been smarter, I would have gone with the assumption that they'd get removed eventually anyway, and had it done while I was still under Dad's insurance. I've known for years that that's what I should do. Not only would it have been easier, I'm guessing, removal-wise and recovery-wise (plus, I could have done it over a break or something and not had to miss work), but now I don't even have dental, so...yeah. That should be fun.

Honestly? I'm a little terrified of the whole thing. No, a lot terrified. I mean, first of all, there's all those horror stories. All the worst-case scenarios. When Tom got his out, he had some nastiness happen afterward too, which is just gross to think about let alone experience. Plus I really, really, really hate the idea of being anesthetized. Just completely without control. I don't like that idea.

Oh gosh. I don't want to do this. I'm scared, people, and I haven't even gone to get it checked out yet. I sort of just want to cry. Blah.

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I know that I had a pretty good day. Slept till 9, showered, siblings came over, presents, brunch, relaxation. Good stuff. The boys were pretty fun (although Jason kept insisting on "more presents" and was rather upset when his supply ran out. But then he busied himself for awhile with some puzzles he got. Jimmy was happy with anything. Here's a few cute pictures of the kids enjoying Christmas.



And of course I have to include some puppy pictures. This is Hazel (duh), and Peter and Sara's terrier puppy Jazmin. And that's a big candy cane rawhide Hazel got today. Much of which she's eaten already...


Also, as far as presents go, I made out pretty well. I got a beautiful string of pearls and matching earrings (which my parents gave me last night, since I knew they were coming anyway, and I could then wear them to Midnight Mass, which I did, and it looked great), and I got Newsies! And Tom got me Apples to Apples (as pictured above), which is pretty funny because I had decided two nights ago or so that I should buy it for the family, since it's a fun game and we don't have it. I played it for the second time the other night, and really enjoyed it. So anyway. I bought it yesterday as a family gift. So I'll be returning that now. :-) He got it even though he wasn't sure if I'd like it or not, but he played it at Peter's bachelor party or something, and also thought it was fun. So, good stuff. I got a couple other things, too, but I think my definite favorite present is this:

That's a rosary and rosary box that my paternal grandmom used until she died. First of all, I love heirloom type things. Second of all, after she died we got to go through some of the stuff they had around the house if we wanted anything, and there was a drawer in one of the dressers in the room at my grandparents' where my sister and I would always sleep when we visited, and it had lots of rosaries (probably mostly free ones that had been sent as gifts in the mail, you know, from those places that are always asking for money and whatnot). Some of them were pretty nice, though, and I took a bunch. I've been using one of those as my main rosary ever since, so for just about six years now. (My grandmom was definitely into rosaries, I think.) So, there's that. And the rosary box? That happens to be my favorite painting. Apparently it was hers, too. When Grandpop was getting ready to move out recently, we got a bunch of stuff including some pictures and paintings from around the house, and a lot of Christmas tree stuff (including a train and little Christmas village deal). I don't know if I remember seeing this one last year, but when I decorated the tree (by myself) this year, one of the ornaments from Grandpop's house was this pretty ball ornament with that picture on it, and '79 on the back (I guess the year they got that ornament). Mom told me I can take that ornament when (if...haha) I move out to my own place. We also have a pretty painting of that hanging up in our dining room now, which we got from their house. (Mom said I can have that one when she dies. I think I'll be happy to wait for that one.)

Anywho. Long story short, I love that present. Mom gave us all rosaries, actually, which is pretty cool. Cathy got Memere's very pretty rosary (which, I believe, has beads made out of roses that were used at Pepere's funeral, or something like that). Hopefully we'll all use them...

I'm very stoked about the rosary, actually. I've been carrying around with me all day. Is that weird? Oh well.

Now I just need some nice, sweet, tall, hot Catholic boy to show up on my doorstep and sweep me off my feet, and my Christmas day will be pretty much perfect.

Haha, oh well, I guess I'll settle for the day as it was. I did play and win at Cranium tonight, which, if you know me at all and my not so enthusiasm for that game (it involves doing things, like drawing, and acting, and stuff), you know what an accomplishment this is. Of course, I'm sure it helps that my teammate is probably pretty good at that game to begin with.

So all in all, not a bad day. No snow, but there never is. (On Christmas. Or in the 10 day forecast, which, excluding tomorrow, is pretty much exclusively 40s, sunny, and 0% chance of precipitation. Sooooo boring. But, ah well, that's what I get for buying dressy-ish boots yesterday, right?)

Happy Christmas!

O Night Divine

Still, still, still,
One can hear the falling snow.
For all is hushed,
The world is sleeping,
Holy Star its vigil keeping.
Still, still, still,
One can hear the falling snow.

Sleep, sleep, sleep,
'Tis the eve of our Savior's birth.
The night is peaceful all around you,
Close your eyes,
Let sleep surround you.
Sleep, sleep, sleep,
'Tis the eve of our Savior's birth.

Dream, dream, dream,
Of the joyous day to come.
While guardian angels without number,
Watch you as you sweetly slumber.
Dream, dream, dream,
Of the joyous day to come.

A couple more random things

Remember those mittens I took pictures of, oh, awhile ago? Ah, February. Wow. How pathetic this will sound now. I finally got them sewn up. You probably can't tell in those pictures, but at that point they were just folded over. I still had to sew up the side with the extra yarn there. Apparently that's the part I hate the most when it comes to knitting, because although I finished in February (maybe I only had knitted one at that point, but still), and despite wanting to have them finished for Bethany way before we graduated, and then by the time we graduated, and then for her birthday (in September), and now for Christmas, I just finished them on Friday night. Anyway. They're done now. And, while I haven't worn mittens in I don't know how long, they're not too bad. I mean, they're not perfect, and that bothers me, but oh well. My first try, right? Lucky Bethany gets to have them. haha. Poor her.

Also, I'm not sure that I should be watching The Holiday right now, in my current state of hating singledom. (Christmas is good for that. Christmas, the part of Christmas that's removed from its actual meaning - the Incarnation - can be pretty much depressing for people who are single and don't want to be (every...single...year), or, I'm sure, people who don't/can't have kids and wish they had kids. It actually pretty much sucks. And I can't wait until Christmas, and New Years, and all that is over.) I can so identify with Kate Winslet's character in The Holiday. Until, of course, the end when she gets the great guy. They always do. Of course, that's not reality. But anyway. Also, going to the mall the Saturday before Christmas is a terrible idea for someone who's single and cursing her stupid heart.

All righty. That's all. I have lots left to do on the afghan I'm working on. I mean, not really "lots" but enough that I probably won't finish by Christmas...of course, I probably won't be seeing the recipient on Christmas, either, so, oh well.

I will disclose that I typically mute commercials.

Remember the day Peter got back from Iraq, back in November, and I posted about how I had turned on my TV for about five minutes at 5am or so, when we got back from the welcome-home ceremony right before I went back to sleep for a couple hours before work? And how during that 5 minute period I saw my favorite Christmas commercial?

Yeah. I haven't seen that one at all since November 12.

Now, I don't really watch a great deal of TV, really, and yes, I mute commercials. However, I can't help but think that this particular commercial is just not sales-pushy enough to fit in with the rest of the "holiday" commercials that are on TV now. They have to make room for more sales-oriented, "buy this car, buy those earrings, buy that TV, and that, and that, and that, and make it THE PERFECT HOLIDAY." Because, we all know that we need lots of stuff to have a good Christmas, right?

Oh well. At least I can still watch it online.

Maybe that's why I don't do much knitting in the summer...

The great part about knitting an afghan? (Aside from the satisfaction of being able to say - and have it be true - "I made that".) It keeps me warm while I'm knitting!

That's good stuff right there.

Also...

Nah. That's it.

Let it snow...please?

So I just turned on the TV, and the New England game is on (which is nice, since I think I've seen maybe one NE game this season). It's in Massachusetts, and it looks like they're getting a nice snowstorm there.

I'm jealous. I wish we were getting that.

I mean, it's hecka cold here anyway (my car said somewhere between 9 and 13 on my way to and from church this morning - and yet I still passed someone who had her window down partway because she was smoking. I'm so glad I'm not addicted to smoking. Sheesh). If it's going to be that cold, it might as well snow, right?

Sigh. I spoke too soon last week about the snow situation here. As soon as I wrote that, the weather decided to get sunny every day, and not terribly cold (with a couple exceptions, such as today). Maybe there'll be some snow on Tuesday, but it looks like that's it for awhile. At least they've lowered the high on Christmas from 51 to 38. But really, if it's not going to snow, who cares.

Anyway. I should move to a place that gets lots of snow, and people who live there who don't like the snow should move here or something. Apparently my love of snow is something of an anomaly among most normal people, and people over the age of 12.

Confession confessions

So, I went to confession today. At the mall. We have a Catholic Center at one of our malls here, and they have walk-in confession all day every day, and they have a chapel there with Mass during the day. Anyway. I had never gone to confession there, but I really needed to go and was planning on going to the mall anyway. So, there I went. I walked in, and there was one man sitting there waiting, and the woman working there said that the priest was in the back getting a snack. After we waited for at least 10 minutes (I don't know how long the man was there before I got there), the woman had to go take something to the back and said she'd let the priest know that we were waiting. He came out a minute or so later, and the first guy went in there. Took maybe two minutes, at most, and then I went in. I went through my list and waited for the priest to say at least a few things relevant to my situations and the sins I confessed, as is what normally happens in confession. This time, though, the priest basically seemed to rattle off some rehearsed general thing, something about God giving us the gift of Christ on Christmas, all stuff that is true and was nice enough, but really not very helpful the way confession should be. And at the end, while he was absolving me and doing the sign of the cross, he checked his watch. I mean, not a huge thing, but just, like...uh, ok. I don't know. Maybe I expect too much of priests, or something. I'm sure he has to hear a lot of confessions. It'd be tough trying to think of something applicable to say for each one. Especially confessions like mine which tend to be rather rambly and probably don't make much sense. (I'm a lot better at thinking it all out in my head, but then it gets jumbled once I start talking.)

It was just a topper of a lovely weekend. Sometimes I just don't know what God's thinking. Why, when I really need a good confession and a bit of spiritual guidance, would he give me a rather unsatisfying confession experience? I mean, the important part was of course done and fine and good, and yay for being absolved (who doesn't love that?), but the rest of it just didn't do much to help my spiritual state right now. Maybe he's testing me to see how much I can take before I give up completely. Not that I'm anywhere near to giving up. It's just beyond my understanding why he's doing certain things in my life (or letting them happen, if not doing them himself).

Anyway. Oh well. Maybe Mass tomorrow will blow me away. In a good way. Or it won't, and life will go on.

I'll be the crazy old knitting cat lady

Sooo...I told someone at work that I'd knit her an afghan for her birthday (in January). She was looking at some patterns today on her break, and found this site, freepatterns.com. I told her I'd sign up for it so I could see the pattern and how difficult it'd be, because all we could see without signing in was the picture. Anyway, tonight I signed up, and after looking for that pattern (which is quite doable), I looked around at other afghan patterns they have.

People, I found about 18 different patterns I'd love to try. Maybe I'll just knit all presents I have to give people for the foreseeable future. Of course, knitting takes time (and then there's the stress of trying to figure out what patterns people want, and what kind of yarn, and what color, blah blah blah, but so far I've made the recipients figure that out for me), but I have next to no life, so whatever.

Anyone want a blanket?

Whatever happened to Darwinism?

So, the other day my dad told us about this story about a pair of gay penguins. It's pretty much ridiculous. So there are these two male penguins, who are apparently gay, were stealing eggs from actual parents by placing stones where the eggs were. They got segregated, obviously, because it's not cool to steal other people's (or penguins') eggs, right? But then people protested, because these penguins weren't being given their "rightful" chance to become parents. (Because we all have a natural right to become parents. No matter what.) So the zookeepers took eggs from inexperienced parents and gave them to the "gay couple". Apparently, if they do a good enough job, the zookeepers will let them become "real" parents through artificial insemination.

It's all just completely stupid. First of all, it's stupid that people would actually complain that these penguins aren't being given a chance to fulfill some sort of biological need they have. I mean, does that mean that if I want a baby badly enough, in order to fill that biological need I can go steal someone else's baby? I'm pretty sure people go to jail for that.

But, you know, whatever. We can't risk offending anyone, so we have to bend over backward for everyone who complains. (Except for a certain group that gets gypped when people bend over backwards for other people. Like, did you know that now it's not enough to get rid of any sort of religious Christmas song during school "holiday" recitals and whatnot, we can't even sing Rudolph because it mentions Christmas and Santa Claus. Ugh. People are dumb.)

Anyway. Whatever.

Puppy love

(Apparently red eye remover doesn't work on dogs. Because, clearly, their eyes don't turn red. They glow.)

Knitting break

The news people are always really excited when there's a Colorado Springs (or local) connection to some big national news story. Today's story? The top one is that they figured out who killed Adam Walsh, the son of the guy who started America's Most Wanted, back in 81. And they were very excited to tell me that he (the guy who killed the kid) has a connection to the Springs. I think it was something like he killed someone here in the 70s or something. Obviously I wasn't as excited to listen as they were to tell me.

Anyway.

Guess what? The weather has been at least acceptable lately, if not more so. Yesterday's high was like...8 or something cold like that, and I think we hit a record low in the morning. Today it was practically warm (20s), but still cold enough. We've had several days in the past few weeks with at least some snow, and while there haven't been any blizzards, I'm more than ok with the snow we have gotten. And hopefully we'll be getting more within the next week. So, good for me.

Oh, I just caught the five-day forecast on the news. Sunday's high? 10 degrees. Weather.com had it at 18 a few hours ago, then 21 a couple hours ago, so who knows. Either way, cold seems to be guaranteed. How lucky for my brothers and dad who will be attending the Bronco game that day...haha.

Things are so weird right now. I don't know. I wish I could figure some things out. I mean, figure out some things.

Christmas is less than 10 days away. That's crazy, people. Crazy. I still have to figure out what I'm getting the...four? five? people I'm actually buying presents for. I know what I'm getting one/have already gotten. Two of them should be fairly easy, and I'm already partly finished with them. The fourth will also be easy (I just have to go get what I'm getting), and the fifth...well, I'll figure it out. I have some ideas. We'll see how that goes. More importantly, though (just kidding), I have to buy a Christmas dress! I've been wearing the same one for several years now, and I've worn it to basically any event for which I need a nice dress, and I'm a little tired of wearing it. Chances are I'll end up in it again this year, because in case you didn't hear me the first time, we have less than ten days to go, and me and shopping don't get along very well. Plus I don't know when I'm going to do it...hm. Oh well.

Back to knitting. It's going really well. I'm very happy with it so far. I hope the cast off edge looks ok...but I still have a bit to go before I get there. Oh man. Not much time to finish it...Christmas is creeping up!

9th grade...those were weird times.

I'm cleaning my room a bit. (I say a bit because it'll take hours and days and weeks to get it really clean. Sigh.) I just came across a shoebox, which I guess I haven't opened or looked at in years. I decided to tonight because I'm really trying to get rid of more stuff. Anyway, imagine my surprise when it's a box full of notes that were written to me during my freshman year. Mostly from three girls (so far), who I guess I used to write to back and forth throughout the days. I don't really remember doing this, but...well, I have a box full of notes to prove I did.

Anyway. Most of them are just notes written to me (so I can't read my half of the conversations, in most cases), but I've found a few that I wrote myself and either didn't give to the other person, or we just both wrote on the same page. I'm a bit ashamed to read the language I wrote back then. I mean, nothing really too scandalous, but I would never talk that way now. I had some very badly influential friends during middle school. Not good influences at all. I'm glad I don't really have that anymore.

Hm, apparently the (freshman) football team didn't like me very much in 9th grade. I, along with two of my good friends (at the time) were managers for the team, and I just read a note from one of those friends who referenced a sign that was put on my locker. I guess some group at the school used to put "good luck" type signs on the team's lockers on game days, and they put it on the managers' lockers too (I'm assuming, based on this note). Well, this one day, apparently the one on my locker said "You don't deserve the love. -The Team". I guess they were kind of jerks to us. Huh. I don't particularly remember that (but I do know I didn't keep doing it after freshman year. Maybe I did a couple weeks sophomore year, but then I stopped). Anyway. Don't worry, I'm throwing them out after I read them. I guess there's no reason to keep them, right? I don't even talk to any of them anymore (which, in at least one case, is sort of sad). Wow, two of them are realllllly obsessed with their boyfriends (at the time, obviously).

K done with those. Now I just found a list of websites for searches. Google isn't even on there! Crazy.

Well, a bit later, and I'm giving up for the night. I got one corner mostly done. There's just so much. How have I accumulated so much junk? And junk that I'm reluctant to part with. It's crazy. I'm so too attached to things. Things are bad. I need to work on that. And I'm trying. I still can't quite get myself to throw out all my binders and whatnot that I've saved from high school (and college, somewhere), but I think one of these days I'll be able to do that. I mean, really, I'm never going to go back and look at that stuff. I guess I'm just too lazy to go through those binders piece by piece to find the few papers and tests I might want to keep. And I'll admit, I have a bit of pride that I should try to get rid of, because that's the reason I don't want to get rid of my math stuff from high school. I was stellar at math back then. I loved it. I was awesome. It was great. And I like to remember that. (Now, let's try to ignore the fact that I haven't looked at that binder more than once or twice - and even then, it's more or less just been the outside that I'm looking at - and I can still remember how great I was in that class.)

Anyway. Last night we watched It's a Wonderful Life. What a great movie. And then, lo and behold, it was on TV tonight. Such a great movie. I'll admit, I watched it again tonight. (Well, the last two hours or so, anyway.) "To my big brother George, the richest man in town." Is there a better moment in any movie? Really? Sigh. So good. See, George Bailey didn't have all this junk, and things worked out ok for him in the end, right? Oh, and Hark! The Herald Angels Sing is always good to hear in movies, because it's always played during some really great moment. In It's a Wonderful Life, they're singing it when Harry Bailey comes in and delivers his line. In Charlie Brown Christmas, they sing it at the end. In Little Women, they're singing it when their dad comes home from being wounded in the war. Cue the warm fuzzies.

Also: Bold/weird pick-up line: "I just got some mistletoe. Why don't we go back to my place and try it out?" Oh, Bryan Bedford. I don't think that's the right thing to say after the woman you're trying to get yells at you for taking her non-Santa-believing 5 year old (who doesn't believe because her mother has always told her Santa isn't real) to see Santa.

Oh, and the scene where Santa signs to the little deaf girl? So cool. I mean, I guess it's a lot more PC or whatever than what he does in the original Miracle on 34th Street (isn't it a Russian kid or something like that?), but whatever.

Have I ever mentioned that I don't remember ever believing in Santa Claus? I'm very sure that I must have at some point, but I don't remember it, and I don't remember when I stopped, only that I did. Same with all the other fantasy creatures (the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny - and, by the way, what is that about, anyway? While I know I must have believed in Santa, I'm not so sure I ever believed in the Easter Bunny, or that my parents ever encouraged or told us to believe in him (it?). Etc). Hm.

I put up our Christmas tree today. Well, Dad brought it in the house and put it in the holder thing. But then I put on the lights and all the ornaments. Things sure have changed from the days when I used to have to fight with my siblings over who got to put the first ornament on the tree. Oh well. I guess it looks ok; ok enough anyway. It sure does smell nice. The smell is half the reason I hope I never have to get a fake tree. That smell is Christmas. Mmmmm.

Anyway. Can you tell I'm bored tonight?

This. Is. AWESOME.

And not just because Rudy is in there twice. (That's right, twice.) (Speaking of ND, I went with a friend to Noodles and Co. tonight for dinner, and the guy who took my order called me his favorite person tonight because I was wearing my ND zip up fleece. He said that's his team, and he was super impressed when I told him I went there. Almost made my night, but not quite. Always nice to meet other masochists, though. Because these days, only masochists are still ND fans.)

Also, Newsies. Which reminds me. I want someone to buy me Newsies for Christmas. There. I can say that without adding a "but...well,...you know..." to it. I want Newsies.

Yeah, because that makes sense

So, I heard this commercial the other day on the radio. First it mentioned something about "while doing your holiday shopping blah blah blah", which I must have picked out because it's just silly to call it holiday shopping. Then it said something about buying an extra toy for all those kids who "won't get to celebrate Christmas this year". Because, of course, we can't really celebrate Christmas without toy toys and more toys, right?

The thing that really struck me as odd, though, is the fact that they're not allowed to call it Christmas shopping, yet they can tell us to help kids have good Christmases. What, don't kids deserve to have good Hanukkahs too? Or Ramadans? Or Winter Soltices? Or Kwanzaas? Or whatever else wacky holiday we're supposed to be PC about? (Not that Hanukkah or Ramadan are necessarily wacky holidays, of course. But when people try to lump them all together with Christmas, well, it's just a little weird.)

That's all.

(For the record, I'm not against buying kids toys and stuff at Christmas, who otherwise might not have anything. Just throwing that out there.)

What's the most difficult question to answer?

"Hey Susie, what do you want for Christmas?"

Honestly, I have no idea. (Well, no idea what I want that people could actually get me, anyway.)

If someone wanted to give me $70,000 or so to pay off my loans, that'd be pretty nice.

(I'm going to have to start making payments on my plethora of student loans at the end of the month. I'm excited...to have a quarter of my monthly earnings go toward student loans. You better believe I'm excited! Ha. ha. aw.)

Or, you know, a new car, that could actually be mine and I wouldn't feel bad for driving, that'd be cool too.

But realistically, I just can't think of anything. There's things I want, sure, like, there's always a DVD I wouldn't mind owning (it might be nice to own Miss Potter, for example), and I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult to find some CDs I'd like, but do I really want to waste a Christmas gift on a CD that's been in the "saved for later" section of my Amazon shopping cart for months now (so, clearly, not that important to me)? I wouldn't mind having a whole set of circular bamboo knitting needles, preferably something like sizes 0-15, in a few different lengths. But then I'd need somewhere to keep them good and organized. Maybe I could ask for some sort of knitting organizing station. Like...a bag. Haha. I could ask for a new camera, except things like that I prefer to purchase on my own, because I like to examine and compare for months on end. I'm picky with my electronics. Probably why I'm not big on getting new electronics once I have one I like. (Although it'd certainly be easier to have someone else make the decision, but then I'd have to deal with features that I don't like, or miss features it doesn't have that I wanted, etc.) Maybe I should make someone lock me in my room for a day until I get it cleaned and decluttered. (And by a day, I probably mean a week.) It'd suck, but in the end I'd be so much happier. (Except, don't actually do that as a "present", because that wouldn't be very fun. Merry Christmas, Susie, go spend the day in your room!)

Hm, actually, looking around the bamboo needles there, there's not that many good options. A few months ago (or...many months ago), there was one seller that had tons of sets of bamboo needles, in different lengths, for really cheap. This one is interesting, and I for sure wouldn't say no to that one (except all three of those sets only go up to size 10.5), but hm.

I don't know. It's all just stuff, in the end. Although, that's not very helpful for people who really do want to get me something for Christmas.

Hm. Maybe some books. Maybe...well, I told one friend that I've been wanting to read some David McCullough books, like 1776, John Adams, or probably any other. I think she's getting me one of those, though (probably one of those first two, since I'm pretty excited about them). I do love reading about history in general, however. (Specifically either medieval, or American from the 1700s to maybe WWII. Especially the Revolutionary War and Civil War periods. I also quite enjoy reading about the history of Catholics in America.) Historical fiction has been my thing for almost as long as I can remember - since probably 6th grade at least, for sure. I've been wanting to read Pillars of the Earth for awhile. This book is also pretty cool. But as far as books go, I'm always wary about buying them, because what if I read it once and don't really like it? Then I'm stuck with this book. So I don't know.

You may be interested to know that I have 33 items in my Amazon cart "saved for later". At least three of those are cameras, a few are things I've since gotten (must have gotten them elsewhere, or forgot they were in there?), a few are books I was going to buy for classes but ended up finding cheaper elsewhere, I supposed, and never took out of the shopping cart. Hm. I wouldn't mind having the soundtrack to Harry Potter 1. I'd also really like a subscription to Magnificat, but why would I ask for that from someone else when I can get it at a discount from work? (At least, I think I can - not sure if subscriptions are different than other products...maybe I'll ask about that tomorrow.) The oldest item in my shopping cart was added on April 25, 2005. Funny. Hm. A good Dean Martin CD might be good, like this one.

Anyway. It's too much stress to buy things. Or to have people buy things for me, anyway. Maybe my parents can just pay for part of the pretty new Christmas dress I hope to get before two weeks (from tonight!). Or buy me a nice matching set of earrings and necklace, since usually my jewelry doesn't match that well (plus I always just end up wearing the same three rings and the same one necklace. Less work). Like...pearls, or something (although I don't know what pearls really go well with. And I don't know if I'd want a whole string of pearls (not sure how I feel about those), or just a necklace with a few pearls on it). Or some sort of sapphire-y looking necklace/earring combo. Preferably silver-colored, rather than gold.

Not that I honestly expect my parents (or anyone) to get me jewelry for Christmas, of course. I expect that as much as I expect someone to buy me a new car or pay off my student loans. Haha.

Or, you know,...yeah, I don't know.

Well, poop.

I haven't done this in awhile, but back...sophomore year, I think, a lot, I used to open a Word document and put random things in there - like quotes I found that I liked, things like that. So the other day, I had this prayer that I wanted to put somewhere to remember, but I didn't know where to put it at the moment, so I just opened a document (in this case, Open Office, since I didn't pay to put Word on this laptop when I got it in July or whenever it was). Stuck it in there. Then, when I was changing the look of my blog a couple days ago, I wanted to remember the color scheme I had (since I use one of the templates on here, but I change around the colors). I might not use it again, but I liked it, and just in case, I wanted to remember what it was. So I put that in the document I had open. And then I found this knitting pattern that I really liked, and for some reason didn't think just to bookmark the page where I found the pattern, so I put that in there too. And there may have been something else as well, but those are the three main ones I can remember.

Anyway. I forgot that Open Office isn't Word in that it doesn't seem to save itself periodically in case it shuts down (I think. Maybe it does, and I just don't know it). Anyway, end result is, I hadn't physically saved it myself yet (which was dumb of me, obviously), and last night Windows decided it needed to restart my computer (even though I put it on hibernate when I went to bed last night) and install its stupid updates. (Well, what if I don't want your dumb updates, huh Windows? Huh?) So when I went to turn it on today, obviously everything was gone, including that document. A thing popped up to start "recovery", but when it "recovered" and I opened it, all it was was a stupid blank document. I'm a little annoyed. Boo. Oh well. I guess it's not that big a deal, but still. Boo.

With the exception of the color scheme stuff (and I may have successfully downloaded that anyway, I'm not sure - you can do that on blogger, to save it, so hopefully that worked), I think I can find the rest of it. Except if there was something on there that I don't remember. In which case, obviously it wasn't that important, I guess, right?

And now I'm watching Home Alone. On VHS. We are so with the times. Haha.

Sappy as that Christmas tree sitting in our garage.

(In full disclosure, I have no idea how sappy our tree actually is. I'm just assuming here.)

So, I went to book study tonight. (This is separate from Bible study, although with the same group, and pretty much mostly the same people. Which is a-ok with me because they're pretty rockin' people. Yes, rockin'. Without the G.) Anyway, we're reading a book called Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. We're taking it slow(ly), so we've only read the first three chapters so far, and we only meet once a month. But it's pretty good, what we've read, and we had a great discussion on the first three chapters tonight. One of the things we discussed that's hitting me right now is the fact that we don't have silence in our society anymore. We live in a place where people are constantly connected to something, be it the Internet, TV, cell phones, MP3 players, whathaveyou. Now, it's not always a bad thing to be listening to music or watching something or doing something at the Internet at any given point, but I know that I rarely just sit and have no electronic input of some sort. And that can't be good for me. It's not good for anyone. How are we supposed to hear God when we won't turn down (off) the noise?

So. Here's what I've decided I'm going to try to do. I know it's a little too ambitious to take on all at once, because it's sort of like quitting cold turkey and we all know that's a difficult thing to do. But. My goal is to start getting to bed earlier. I know, I've been saying this for months (years) now. But it really needs to happen, because I'm having very many issues getting out of bed in time to be in the shower by 7:30 these days. As a result, most days I get to work a few minutes late. (I do usually stay a few minutes late, though, to make up for it, but still. Not a good thing to do.) And I've been saying since I got her that I need to take Hazel for a walk in the morning before work. It's terrible of me that I'm not. Really terrible. So that's one goal.

Another goal is to be on the Internet much much much less. I'm sitting in front of a computer all day, and I get home and I really don't want to be online and yet here I am. (Sometimes I do just have it up and open because I'm talking to people on AIM or whatever, but yeah. A lot of times I just go here and there and everywhere, not even really caring, but just...doing it. No point.) I have lots of knitting to get to! Not to mention sleep to get. And puppy-playing to do. And, hey, remember reading? I used to like to read. All the time. Do you know the last time I read a book? It's been far too long. And even then, the last four books I really read were the first four Harry Potters. Pathetic, no? Not that they're bad, but I've read them already, twice, and there are so many other books out there. Oh, I guess I have read one or two since the fourth Harry Potter (I'm currently about three chapters into the fifth. Maybe more. But I've been about that far since this summer, so yeah. I don't know what's wrong with me and books lately). Anyway. Reading is good for the brain. Maybe not Harry Potter, necessarily, since it's sort of like reading...I don't know, CareBears or something (not really, obviously, but it's no Dickens. And thank God for that, because me and Dickens? We don't get along so well). Very engaging though. Anywho. I need to read more. And knit more. And pray more. Hooo boy do I need to pray more.

My prayer life up until a few months ago has been basically deplorable. Seriously. Awful. It's still really bad, but it's been much improved since...well, especially since November. I really really suck at praying (can someone please teach me how to do it?), so I've been relying on read prayers, such as the Magnificat and the In Conversation with God books. And at least they help me, and center me, and force me to think about God and all that jazz, and having the prayers written there help keep my mind from wandering, as it tends to do when I try to pray elsewhere. And I've been going to Adoration a lot since September. Well, a lot compared to very rarely like I was doing before. But I go once a month for work, and I've been going to this Friday night praise and worship/adoration thing at least a couple times a month since September. Oh, and Vigil Praise up at the seminary in Denver; that's once a month. Although...while I have come to enjoy Vigil Praise very much, it's not very adoration-y for me. Praise and worship, definitely, and they do confession too which is quite convenient, but often I find certain aspects of it distracting as far as adoration goes. But anyway. Lots of adoration. During which, of course, I have no idea what to say, and my mind wanders. I don't know how to talk to God. I really don't know how to listen to God. I've been Catholic for 23 years now and I don't know if I've ever really heard God speaking to me directly. And if I do, which I very well might, I dismiss it as my own brain coming up with something I either do or don't want to hear. Either way, I figured how am I supposed to know for sure, so I dismiss it. And I want to learn how not to dismiss it, and how to figure out when it is God and when it's not.

So. With all that being said, I need more quiet time with God, and maybe I can just sit and turn off my brain (I have no idea how that is possible), and finally hear him say something to me. (I really wish he'd realize how difficult it is for me to differentiate his voice from my thoughts, and make it easier for me. Like...the whole big sign that says "Hey Susie, this is God, here's what I think" sort of thing. But alas, God's not the big sign kind of guy. He's more the tiny whisper that I always miss. Sigh.

Anyway.

I also might be changing something else, but that's for me to know, and you...not to know. Unless I choose to do it, and choose to tell you all, my lovely Internets.

So I'm not going anywhere, but I'm just going to try my hardest to make God more of...well, everything in my life. I've already made a lot of changes since graduating, as far as my spiritual/Catholic life is concerned (going to the not eating meat on Fridays thing, which...well, let's just say I hate how poor catechesis has been since the 60s; fasting on Fridays now; almost finally managing my goal of confession once a month - hopefully soon I'll get it to once a week), but I still have a long way to go. And before people jump to any conclusions, I'm certain that going to Notre Dame led me directly to where I am today, right now, this moment. I wonder if I would be this orthodox had I gone somewhere else - anywhere else. I can't say for sure that I would. I know I certainly wasn't headed in this direction during high school. At all. And obviously working at Aquinas and More has had a big impact on me as well, so much for the better, and I am so so so thankful for that. And I think ND had at least a little something to do with me getting a job there (despite its outward reputation for...not so orthodoxy...) (oh my gosh I just had "it's outward reputation". Luckily I noticed it! How embarrassing that would be, the grammar nazi, doing one of the things she hates the most! hehe. And also, I realize that if I were a true non-hypocritical grammar nazi, many sentences in this entire post, and blog, would be re-written. Or never written the way they were to begin with). Anyway. I am so lucky I went to Notre Dame. I'm so lucky I realized things that I had never thought about or been forced to think about in high school and prior to that. I'm just incredibly lucky, you know that? I really am.

Anyway. I wish I could take up letter-writing again. But it'd just be weird to send letters to my friends like people used to do, pre-Internet. I mean, I'd write a letter, then talk to them that night on AIM and tell them the same thing I just wrote in a letter that they'll get in three days? Just seems weird. That, and I just don't have enough to write about in letters...random conversations on AIM that don't really say anything and just talk about random thoughts that pop into our heads as we're sitting here, that's one thing. Letters are different. Maybe I should become a pen pal to some soldier in Iraq. And then we can fall in love and get married. Haha. No. I used to write to my grandmothers, and then one died six years ago, and then the other died in April. I could write to my grandpop, but he's a boy, and boys don't really reciprocate communication very well. I mean, I do send him the occasional letter, but yeah. Hm. I suppose I could write to a few of my aunts who I'm close-ish to. Eh I don't know. It'd be fun if I could write to my friends. Maybe I will anyway. Except...hm I need to find their addresses...people all moving all the time and whatnot, it's hard to keep track.

Anyway. Between writing this post (which was done in between talking to a couple friends on AIM), it's now a little after 11pm. I want to go up to bed soon. Maybe do a row or two of knitting, except I think it's a little late now. I need to do some praying. And go to bed so I can wake up at 6:30. And take Hazel for a walk. And hopefully not slip and fall on the ice. Although, eh, what's the worst that could happen? I suppose I could die, which would suck, because I'd like to go to confession this week, or at least before I die...but other than that, at worst I'd just get a broken bone or something. No biggie. Unless it impeded me from driving...I've been wondering that, how do people drive when they break their right ankle or something, and that foot/leg is in a cast? Seems like it'd be difficult to do. I'd have to have a chauffeur. I wouldn't like that very much.

Ok, what am I doing? Wasting time, that's what. Time to break off this conversation with my lovely dear friend, and go upstairs to my nice warm bed.

Because, people? My bed is nice and warm. (Unlike my house...or other buildings I'm in much of the time...) That's the beauty of an under-sheet bedwarmer. I'm such an advocate of those. Mmmmm. Also, speaking of which, I really miss sleeping in a twin bed at school with my wonderful sheet set I had for that. Twin beds really rock. Queens are such a waste of space if you're just one person, as I am.

Oh, one more completely unrelated thing (except it's Catholic related, so not entirely unrelated). Yesterday was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary (as in, Mary's conception, not when she conceived Jesus). Since I had the day off (ah, working at a Catholic store, getting Holy Days off, not too shabby), I was going to go to the Cathedral's 12:10 Mass. I don't know about the rest of their Masses, but their 12:10 weekday Masses always seem nice enough, and especially when it's an HDO. I mentioned it to my parents Sunday night, and they said they were also planning on going to that one. So we all went. And it was really quite lovely. As an extra treat, the Bishop was the presider, which was nice. I like him. And a seminarian friend I have (by the way, it's fun to have seminarian friends. I highly recommend it) was also helping at the Mass. I hadn't seen him in a few weeks, so that was fun too. I was the only veil-wearer there, which was slightly weird since I've been sort of getting used to being one of at least a few (since several women wear veils at the 8:30am St. Gabriel Sunday Mass), but it's all good. You never know where you might plant a seed, right? We must be catechists, even just by example! (Someone's gotta do it.) Anyway. Yay for wearing a veil. So the Mass was nice, and I saw a surprising number of people I knew, which was also rather a pleasant surprise (even if I didn't talk to any of them afterward or anything. Just nice to see them, I guess). Good stuff all around.

Ooooh, also, to be completely shallow for a second, I've also been eating less (both less frequently and smaller portions, and attempting to eat healthier although that's...well, harder to do), and I've had a few people ask me if I'm losing weight. And one of those people I actually believe to be sincere. Haha. Anyway. I don't know if I am (I step on a scale maybe twice a year, excluding any doctor visits I might have), and I haven't really noticed my clothes fitting differently, but it's always nice to hear that. Much better than the alternative. Not that I've ever really had anyone say that to me (out loud, to my face, at least. Haha).

Wow, am I in a good mood tonight, or what? (I wonder what the crash will be tomorrow...hey, maybe there won't be one!) And why the good mood? Maybe because I have found an awesome group of friends here, who are so wonderfully and orthodoxly Catholic, and those around me at work are the same, and some overlap the two groups (and do you know how wonderfully great it is to be almost constantly surrounded by like-minded individuals? Sure, tell me I'm just sticking my head in the sand, but I get enough of the rest of the world from, well, the rest of the world. I like being in my Catholic bubble as much as possible. It keeps me sane and does my heart so good to know that there are at least a few of us out there. No wonder some people live in communes. Haha), and my family's pretty great too, not to mention the Hazelnut, nuttiest of all Hazels, and...life. Life is so good. Even amidst the pain and sadness and trials and turbulence and evils and anything and everything negative. Because when it's all said and done? God is still there. And we can always cling to him, no matter what, and he won't let go if we're reaching for him. (It's when we stop reaching that problems start to mount up.)

Anyway. Goodnight, my lovelies.

Winter perfection.

Mmm.

Request, repeated

Please, please don't post anonymously. I really don't care what you say, as long as you tell me who you are. What's the point of not even putting in a first name? I mean, for all I know your name could be Sally but you put in Jane, and I really wouldn't know the difference. But having a name in there would make me feel so much better. (Obviously, I'd prefer it if you used your real name, but whatever.)

Anyway. If you read that post I put up yesterday afternoon, obviously I've taken it down. It didn't need to be made public, really. If you read it, well, lucky you...?

So. Yeah.

Anyway.

Hey, so I got this postcard in the mail today from Notre Dame, informing me that the 10am Basilica Mass is now being shown again live on TV (of course, a cable channel - CatholicTV, which I've never heard of). But, luckily for me, I can also watch it online. So that's what I did for an hour this afternoon. Sigh. I miss that place. It's so lovely and wonderful.

Luckily for me it's also snowing here right now. I just took Hazel out an hour ago. It was cold, but so pretty, and just so nice. It'll (mostly) all be melted by Wednesday, though. Ah, well, that's the way it is here in Colorado Springs. I'll take what I can get and just enjoy it to its fullest when it comes.

Mmm snow.

Live-blogging a cake baking?

So, I'm being home-makery tonight. Not really, because all I'm doing is a little bit of baking. But I'm excited. I really hope this turns out well. I'm making a Dutch Almond Butter Cake (doesn't that sound delicious?). Sprinkled with sugar and sliced almonds on top. Mmmm. I hope it turns out well. It's for this St. Nicholas Day party thing we're having at work tomorrow. I don't think there's going to be enough, though, if as many people come as we're thinking might come. Anyway. I'm making two of them. I really hope they turn out well. Sigh. I'll be so disappoint if they don't. Although, there's not a lot that even I can mess up. All it took was mixing butter, sugar, eggs, almond paste, and flour. And putting it into a pan. And sprinkling almonds and sugar on top. And sticking in the oven. Done. But you never know, especially with me.

I'm excited though. Even though there won't be enough. I guess just the lucky ones will get to taste the deliciousness of my baking. Haha.

I'm in a really good mood right now. But also, not in a good mood. It's odd. But I understand it.

If this cake doesn't turn out well, I really won't be in a good mood, that's for sure. I'll kick myself for a month of Sundays. Or, something.

Oooh, there's about six minutes left on the timer, and it smells heavenly. Maybe not quite (what does heaven smell like, anyway?), but it does smell delicious.

K, cake #1 has been removed from oven, cooled off, and taste tested. Judged to be pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. Cake #2 is coming out of the oven any minute now (if it would just hurry up and be done baking already! It's taking longer than the first one for some reason. But it looks better). It's pretty sweet, but it's yummy. I hope the texture/consistency is ok. It's so hard to tell. It's not exactly a cake - it's more like a cookie, really, but yeah. Anyway. I think it's good enough. (Perhaps too sophisticated for small children as are likely to be at the thing tomorrow...Haha, oh well.)

Oh man, the toasted almonds on the top (toasted once it's out of the oven, anyway) are like icing on the cake. Literally! Ha. Anyway. Mmm toasted almonds.

I'm gonna go watch Jellyman Kelly again, and then go to bed (assuming this cake is about ready to come out now).

Scroll down to find out about Jellyman Kelly

Puppy got spayed today. She's a little wobby, slow, and tired, but seems to be doing all right. I guess they said not to let her run or jump for two weeks if we can help it. Ha. Hazel not jump for two weeks? We'll be lucky if she goes two days. I mean, at dinner tonight, even though she was groggy and slow and tired and all, she still wanted us to throw the ball for her like she always does at dinner. And she really wants to now. She's so silly. They didn't give her an Elizabethan collar (those pets look miserable, don't they?). Apparently they only do that with male dogs now. (And for other things - Kebbie got one a couple years ago when she got a tumor thing on her side removed. She did not enjoy it, so it didn't stay on very long. Plus it made walking while still pretty high on whatever drugs they gave her very interesting - she kept running into things with the collar. Poor puppy. Aw I miss her. Colt had one too, a little kitty-sized one, when we got her declawed. She was so cute. With the collar and all the time. I miss that one too.) But anyway, she didn't die, so I'm pretty happy.

(I'm a worrier, I can't help it, ok?)

It snowed all day today. Quite lovely. And very cold, which I'm not going to complain about. It's probably accumulated a total inch or two, though. Not much snow, that's for sure. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right? (Sort of...if that actually fit the situation...)

I'm going knitting crazy lately. I'm obsessed. And I have like 18 projects and things I've told people I'll knit for them. Maybe more like 5. But still. It's ok though, because I want to do it. More practice, more learning how to do things, and maybe someday I'll be able to live off my knitting. (Yeah, right.) I finished that hat I was working on. I really like it, except I think I'm going to frog the whole thing and start over, this time doing fewer repeats of the pattern (I think I overshot, and it is a bit slouchier than I wanted), and casting on one fewer sets (it's split up into 13 sets of 9 stitches each, so I guess I'll just do 12 sets of 9. Should fit my head better). I really am not too discouraged by the fact that I finished the hat but am now planning to undo it all. It didn't take too long to do in the first place, and is pretty easy, so it's all good. Plus I'd much rather have a hat that fits me better than one that's just ok but I was too lazy to redo.

Tomorrow is Friday and I couldn't be happier. What a stressful week it's been. Not that I anticipate the weekend to be very stress-free - I have stuff going on all day Saturday (well, the afternoon and evening/night. And the afternoon thing is mostly because I feel obligated to be there, for at least a little while. And that thing is stressing me out sort of a lot right now, actually, now that I think about it. Dude, I need a vacation. No, that's not exactly what I need. I think I know what I need, but I don't think it can happen for awhile. But anyway, I stress myself out far too easily, more so than I ever thought I did or would).

And I'm so tired. I could have easily gone to bed at 7pm tonight. (Actually, I did fall asleep on the couch at about 7 or 7:30.) Why am I not in bed now, then? Because I'm knitting. And I want to knit. And I love to knit. But my obsessive-compulsive nature gets too into it, and then before I know it it's three pm and it takes dropping a stitch and the prospect of having to undo a whole row to get to the stitch I dropped to make me put down the knitting and go to bed. I mean, theoretically. That's never happened.

...

Oh, but we have Monday off (Holy Day of Obligation). That's exciting. Very exciting, in fact. Not so exciting is the prospect of figuring out where to go. I got excited on Sunday because I saw that St. Gabriel's is having a "Latin" Mass at 5pm on Monday. That either meant a Novus Ordo Mass in mostly Latin, which would be yay, or it meant a Tridentine, which would be...ok, but not really my thing. Turns out, it's Tridentine. So I probably won't be going to that one. Since I have the day off, maybe I'll just go to St. Mary's at noon. Their HDO noon Masses are normally pretty nice, I think. Well, the one or two times I've gone for HDOs in the past...many years. At least the church is nice to look at. It's no Basilica, of course, but you take what you can get.

So, I really really really want to go to the Midnight Mass up at Holy Ghost in Denver on Christmas Eve. Really really. Problem is, no one else seems up for the idea. Sigh. I don't mind going to Mass by myself, but a Christmas Eve Midnight Mass alone? Depressing. Christmas is depressing enough as it is (aside from its wonderfulness, of course). Plus, I don't think that driving up to Denver and back that late at night alone would be the best idea anyway. Oh, and besides, it's going to be snowy, because we're going to have a white Christmas this year.

(Stop laughing. It has to happen sometime, doesn't it? I mean, if I have to be single every single Christmas forever and a day, can't I at least get a white Christmas one of these times? Yeah, you're right, I can't.)

I should totally get a job being a professional typist or something. Except I'm not good enough to be professional. But man, I would love being able to type all day long. As long as I didn't have to think of what to type, and could just...transcribe...or whatever.

I got my Office DVDs today! So excited. I have all four seasons now. Yay! And I got an email today telling me that my other Amazon stuff (which I ordered separately from the Office DVDs) shipped today, and should be here by next Wednesday. That's especially exciting, because it includes my Michael Buble CD, and a couple other CDs, and stuff. (Two of the CDs are Christmas-music-related, so I was hoping I'd get them sooner than the original estimated ship date, which wasn't until like the 15th or something.)

Christmas music is fantastic. Especially when it's the mix of Christmas music I have. Because, let me tell you, I have some good stuff. Including, of course, the wonderful Josh Groban. Mmm. His voice is so very nice. And, of course, the Buble. And Celtic Woman. And Mannheim Steamroller. And I love my newly-acquired (as of this year, at least, so it's the first time listening to it now) Glee Club Christmas CD. (That would be the Notre Dame Glee Club, of course.) Oh man those guys can sing. Oh and Kenny G's two Christmas albums (that I own) aren't bad either. And who can forget Nat King Cole? Or those classic songs like Holly Jolly Christmas (the original, of course), and It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (also the original), and White Christmas (Bing!), and all that stuff. Also, earlier this week I totally downloaded Colorado Christmas by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. I just love that song. Or there's Elton John's Step Into Christmas, and freshman year I got this mix CD from my RA (she gave it to all of us in the section the week before finals), and it included a few Christmas songs I had never heard before, such as Garth Brooks' Baby Jesus is Born, Christmas Song by the Dave Matthews Band (not that Christmas Song), and The Magic of Christmas Day by Celine Dion. For some reason I just love those songs, even though typically I'm not a big fan of the non-classics. Except, I just make myself a liar every time I say that. Whatever.

Speaking of Christmas music, I sort of would love to have this. (Recommended for ages 4-8.) We used to have the cassette (I'm sure it's around somewhere), and I remember many a Christmastime night when I would have that playing when I went to sleep. That and Mannheim Steamroller (A Fresh Aire Christmas. The best one. But obviously I'm biased for nostalgic reasons). I haven't heard the Wee Sing one in years and years, but I bet it would bring back a lot of memories. Which is sometimes simultaneously good and bad...but yeah. It'd be fun to hear again, I think. (When I listen to the Mannheim Steamroller cd, I can still hear the tape stopping after "Still, Still, Still", which was the end of the first side. Ah, the days of turning over tapes and all that jazz. I always used to hate it when I was still awake when the tape ended. Sometimes I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep when I was a kid.)

So we still don't have Christmas lights up on the house. My dad was talking about maybe doing them last weekend, after Thanksgiving, but then we got snow and such. I wonder if he'll be able to do it this weekend...I mean, Christmas still lasts for another month (it's true. Look it up), but yeah. I want to see some lights on my house soon. Of course, now it doesn't really matter, since we've used up our allotted pre-January snow by now, probably. I love seeing snow on Christmas lights. Sigh. So wonderful.

Oh man, oh man. Speaking of childhood reminiscing, we were talking about this Sesame Street video we used to have (my mom says we still have it somewhere), some random sing along thing with legit stars singing with the Sesame Street characters. The only song I really remember is Put Down the Ducky. And randomly tonight I thought, hey, I should see if it's on YouTube!

Of course it is.


Come on, Paul Simon is in it! I love Paul Simon. And where else are you going to see him, Jeremy Irons, Rhea Perlman and Danny Devito, Itzhak Perlman, John Candy (I think that was John Candy), Ladysmith Black Mambazo (!), Jane Curtin, Pee-Wee Herman, and...other people (I don't really know who a lot of them are), all in one place? It's great!

DUDE!!! I had totally forgotten about this! And there's no way I knew who James Taylor was back when I used to watch this video. Jellyman Kelly!


Seriously. I just watched that one again because I love it so much. And I had a goofy smile the whole time. Wow. That's 20 years old. Those kids are like...old now. Haha. Ok maybe not old.

Geez, I love Jellyman Kelly. Seriously. That's good stuff right there.

Wow this is one long post. Sorry about that. No, no I'm not. (But wow, look at all those different labels! Haha. What's the point of having them if I'm going to use so many on one post? I should learn to be less random in my posts. But I don't wanna.)

OH BOY!!!

Yes, that's right, ALL CAPS.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!! I just happened to see what was on TV tonight, and saw that on PBS there's a Celtic Woman Holiday concert thing. So of course I flipped it on because, well, it's Celtic Woman. And Christmas. (Except they just started the concert again after the pledge part, where it was when I turned it on, and it's not Christmas. It's their other stuff. But that's ok. Oh, it's "The Greatest Journey - Holiday Special." That's their most recent CD, and maybe it's a "holiday special" because it's on during Christmas season...?) Anyway, during the pledge thing they were talking about get tickets to their concert if you pledge $240. I immediately got excited and went to the Celtic Woman website, and indeed, they're coming back to Red Rocks on July 1 and 2!!! I soooo want to see them in concert. At Red Rocks. I really wanted to go when they came two years ago, but didn't have money. And oh man. I'm totally going this time. I don't even care. (Although I do care enough that I'm going to wait until they're actually on sale instead of getting them early by "supporting my local PBS station". Because $240 is kind of a lot of money for two tickets...)

Hm, I wonder if this means they're coming out with a new CD. I'd support that.

Oh, now there's a Christmas(ish) song. Ok. Well, whatever. I guess they're interspersing songs from their Christmas album (and the Christmas concert they did that is available on DVD) with this other concert. I guess that's pretty ok with me.

Oh, also? Man I love Michael Buble. I used to be sort of ambivalent about him - I've always liked him, but felt that he made too many songs faster than they should be. However, I now love pretty much all his stuff. I mean, I have favorite songs and not so favorite songs, but I just love his voice. Case in point: Last year, I saw he had a Christmas CD (with a whole six songs on it, and two are the same - one live, one not), but after hearing some of the songs, I was pretty "eh" about it. Too fast. This year, though, I don't know what I was thinking last year. His versions are so good! And really, none of them are any different tempos than they should be. So. Yeah.

My eyes are killing me. Have been for the past few days. I think these contacts must be getting old. I have no idea how long I've been wearing them (probably more than two weeks, but I doubt more than a month). I think I'll throw them out tonight.

Also, I love Christmas. I mean, knitting. Um...both. Yes.

English-style, baby

So, in teaching myself various stitches and such (including things like ssk, or slip slip knit, and m1, and how to knit in the round, etc), I've discovered that the way I knit is English style, as opposed to Continental style. It just has to do with the way a person holds the yarn that creates the next stitch. I hold it in my right hand and loop it over the needle, whereas Continental style holds it sort of taut behind the needles in the left hand and the yarn just gets picked up from there as the needle goes into the next stitch. No looping invovled, from what I can tell. As a result, it seems like it'd be easier to do it that way. Had I learned that way. I tried a couple days ago to do what it looked like they were doing, and it was confusing. I'm sure I could make myself figure it out and get used to it. Maybe I will. But probably not.

Interesting. Apparently, "continental style" was commonly associated with Germany, and thus fell out of favor in English-speaking countries during WWII. But it's also preferred by professional knitters because it's more efficient. Ah, those efficient Germans. Maybe I should learn it so as to get back to my roots.

By the way, knitting in the round is awesome. (That's when you just keep going around and around the needles, so your work is like a tube, instead of a flat thing. I guess it doesn't make much sense explaining here if you don't know what I'm talking about. But it's fun.)

Knitting rocks. I'm so glad I picked it up again sophomore year. Good stuff. (Also, lucky me that I had roommates/friends who hung around a lot who also knitted. They got me to convert.)