Regarding the back thing: I often forget about a wonderful little device known as a heating pad. I decided to try it out tonight as I'm sitting here typing (really! I am! I have stuff written!), and I've definitely noticed a difference. Of course, I'm also semi-uncomfortably hot (my huge hot computer sitting on my lap doesn't help a great deal with that either), but I have a fan sitting right next to me so it's not too bad.
Unfortunately, I just discovered something that is pretty much the enemy of paper-writing for me. Typing games. Well, I just discovered a new one. Typeracer.com. Oh my gosh so addicting. I've done a few where I'm up into the 100s (WPM). Sometimes in the 90s, sometimes 80s. My last one was 120! So I figured it's a good place to stop, because if I do another one and don't come in first, or even come in first but with a number in the 80s or something, I'll want to improve. It caused me to try to get my B key working regularly again, because it's hard trying to type competitively when you have to take extra time on the B key. And I think I managed to get it back in working order, so see, it was productive for me to come across this highly addictive website. (I'm such a nerd. My favorite computer games are typing tests. Or typing related. Not that I really ever play any very often, but yeah. I don't know what it is with me and typing, but I love it.) Anyway. I just wasted some good time on it, so hopefully it's out of my system for tonight and I can get back to this paper. But then tomorrow night? Oh man, internets, it is on. Haha. Except hopefully I'll be doing something much more fun in actuality.
Also: The Rudy soundtrack? Great music to write a paper to. Or do anything, really. It's just an awesome score. (I just wish it included the ND-related songs that are in the movie.) Man it's going to be weird to watch that movie for the first time as a non-student. I remember the first time I watched it after having been here a little while, and I actually recognized where the scenes were taking place! It was amazing. Although there's one tiny part that I've never been able to figure out where it takes place. It's all of like five seconds, but it bugs me. Maybe someday I'll figure it out.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Going to the doctor does not count toward enjoying this place
I had a doctor appointment at 10:30 today. I got there on time. And proceeded to sit...and wait...and wait...and wait. Lots of other women there (many/most looked pregnant), and man it took forever. Finally after maybe 40 minutes, I got called to go back. Got put in a room, got all set and ready, and then sat...and waited...some more. Maybe another 20-25 minutes. Ugh. It had been definitely over an hour that I had been there by the time my doctor came in. And then she talked to me for about five minutes, and then I went to get an ultrasound, and that took another 5-10, and then I had to wait like five minutes to pay at the end. But man. It was annoying. I've never had to wait long there before (the two other times I've gone), but apparently this morning one of the doctors there got called out on an emergency and women were already there for that doctor so everyone had to be shuffled around and accommodated and whatnot. So oh well. Oh and then the more fun part was once I got back to campus, as expected the parking lot was full. So I ended up driving around/sitting in park at the edge of a row for seriously close to half an hour waiting for someone, anyone, to come leave the parking lot. See, the lot where I park is also a lot where off-campus people who have a parking pass can also park, so during school days it's full whereas during weekends when it's only the on-campus people there, there are always at least some spots, even if they're somewhat far away. So yeah. It was ok though, I was listening to the oldies station (yay oldies!) and I called my sister and talked to her for awhile. And it took following one or two people a bit creepily in my car, but I did finally manage to get a spot. Good for me.
(Oh, and as for the long-awaited results of that doctor appointment? The cyst is down to 1cm, which is pretty good I guess. My doctor wants me to stay on birth control for at least another few months, and then go and get things checked out back home at some point after that to make sure nothing new is forming. And hopefully find it, if there is something new, before I land in the hospital again. So...I guess it's pretty good.)
Speaking of medical stuff, man my lower back is a mess. I don't know what's wrong with it lately, but it's just been pained. I don't know if I'm sleeping oddly or something, or...I don't even know what. I'm just a ball of problems at the moment. Luckily they're all more or less very minor, mostly just irritants. But yeah. Can't wait to get back to having regular chiropractic care. Oh and also, despite the fact that I feel like I've gained about fifteen pounds in the last month or so (maybe that's an exaggeration), my weight really hasn't changed at all pretty much all year. I mean, I weigh myself very infrequently, and this year it's mostly been at doctor's appointments and whatnot, but it's stayed pretty consistent. Not sure if that's good or bad. Maybe I've just lost muscle weight and gained fat weight. Not that I had much muscle weight to begin with. Haha. Anyway. Whatever. I'm looking forward to taking in the healing powers of Colorado. South Bend isn't good for anyone.
I am down to one class left. Ever. It's just so bizarre to think about. Even if I do happen to do grad school at some point down the line, it's not the same. (Especially if I do the Mom-route and do it by correspondence.) I can't believe I only have one class left. (And how I wish that it didn't have a paper attached to it. Sigh. But I guess that is better than a final, I'll admit that.) Man. I just hope that the weather improves for these last 2.5 weeks. Wow I'm down to less than three weeks here. (And what's really sad is, this Sunday will be my last Sunday Mass in the Basilica. That really, really makes me want to cry. It's one of the reasons I was hesitant to go to the Cubs game with everyone else in the senior class who got the tickets as one of the Senior Week events, because we leave 10:30 Sunday morning the 11th. But it'll be fun to spend time with all my friends who are going. I mean, I've had lots of time in the Basilica, and it is just a church after all, though it pains me to say. My friends are my friends, and after the 18th I have absolutely no idea when I'll see any of them again. So yeah. But this Sunday will be hard. I'm gonna miss those Masses so very much.) This is all so crazy. It's also why people shouldn't go more than three hours away from their homes to go to college. That's wacky too, though, I know. Notre Dame can only be in one place, and it's so worth it to come even if you live far outside the Chicago/Ohio/places-closely-north-and-south-of-here radius around Notre Dame.
Anyway. I hope I'm not up as late tonight doing this paper as I was last night. Last night was just pathetic. I didn't even have to start anything, which is always the worst part. I just had to find and add three more pages worth of stuff, and sort of manage to synthesize it together semi-coherently. Not sure if I accomplished the latter, but I was successful in getting 10 full pages total (and even got onto an 11th! Yay me!). But I piddled around so long, it just took a ridiculous amount of time. I just did not want to do it. What else is new, though.
Ok. Here we go. We're going to do this. Maybe not well, maybe even terribly, but it's going to get done. And then I will hand it in at 11:45 tomorrow morning, sit through an hour and fifteen minute class, and be that much closer to being done forever. Oh gosh it's so weird and sad and scary and awesome and exciting and confusing all at the same time. Why do other people not seem to feel this cocktail of emotions? Why does it never seem to surface? Maybe because other people aren't graduating from Notre Dame. It is the best university, pretty much, as we all know. I'm gonna be so sad to say goodbye. BUT. I still have two and a half weeks before that has to happen. So I'm going to do my darnedest to enjoy every bit of this place, as much as possible, until that moment.
(Oh, and as for the long-awaited results of that doctor appointment? The cyst is down to 1cm, which is pretty good I guess. My doctor wants me to stay on birth control for at least another few months, and then go and get things checked out back home at some point after that to make sure nothing new is forming. And hopefully find it, if there is something new, before I land in the hospital again. So...I guess it's pretty good.)
Speaking of medical stuff, man my lower back is a mess. I don't know what's wrong with it lately, but it's just been pained. I don't know if I'm sleeping oddly or something, or...I don't even know what. I'm just a ball of problems at the moment. Luckily they're all more or less very minor, mostly just irritants. But yeah. Can't wait to get back to having regular chiropractic care. Oh and also, despite the fact that I feel like I've gained about fifteen pounds in the last month or so (maybe that's an exaggeration), my weight really hasn't changed at all pretty much all year. I mean, I weigh myself very infrequently, and this year it's mostly been at doctor's appointments and whatnot, but it's stayed pretty consistent. Not sure if that's good or bad. Maybe I've just lost muscle weight and gained fat weight. Not that I had much muscle weight to begin with. Haha. Anyway. Whatever. I'm looking forward to taking in the healing powers of Colorado. South Bend isn't good for anyone.
I am down to one class left. Ever. It's just so bizarre to think about. Even if I do happen to do grad school at some point down the line, it's not the same. (Especially if I do the Mom-route and do it by correspondence.) I can't believe I only have one class left. (And how I wish that it didn't have a paper attached to it. Sigh. But I guess that is better than a final, I'll admit that.) Man. I just hope that the weather improves for these last 2.5 weeks. Wow I'm down to less than three weeks here. (And what's really sad is, this Sunday will be my last Sunday Mass in the Basilica. That really, really makes me want to cry. It's one of the reasons I was hesitant to go to the Cubs game with everyone else in the senior class who got the tickets as one of the Senior Week events, because we leave 10:30 Sunday morning the 11th. But it'll be fun to spend time with all my friends who are going. I mean, I've had lots of time in the Basilica, and it is just a church after all, though it pains me to say. My friends are my friends, and after the 18th I have absolutely no idea when I'll see any of them again. So yeah. But this Sunday will be hard. I'm gonna miss those Masses so very much.) This is all so crazy. It's also why people shouldn't go more than three hours away from their homes to go to college. That's wacky too, though, I know. Notre Dame can only be in one place, and it's so worth it to come even if you live far outside the Chicago/Ohio/places-closely-north-and-south-of-here radius around Notre Dame.
Anyway. I hope I'm not up as late tonight doing this paper as I was last night. Last night was just pathetic. I didn't even have to start anything, which is always the worst part. I just had to find and add three more pages worth of stuff, and sort of manage to synthesize it together semi-coherently. Not sure if I accomplished the latter, but I was successful in getting 10 full pages total (and even got onto an 11th! Yay me!). But I piddled around so long, it just took a ridiculous amount of time. I just did not want to do it. What else is new, though.
Ok. Here we go. We're going to do this. Maybe not well, maybe even terribly, but it's going to get done. And then I will hand it in at 11:45 tomorrow morning, sit through an hour and fifteen minute class, and be that much closer to being done forever. Oh gosh it's so weird and sad and scary and awesome and exciting and confusing all at the same time. Why do other people not seem to feel this cocktail of emotions? Why does it never seem to surface? Maybe because other people aren't graduating from Notre Dame. It is the best university, pretty much, as we all know. I'm gonna be so sad to say goodbye. BUT. I still have two and a half weeks before that has to happen. So I'm going to do my darnedest to enjoy every bit of this place, as much as possible, until that moment.
Oh. My. Gosh.
So cute. Unbearably. Ugh.
Also, even though it's a dumb thing for me to be doing, I was sort of browsing the petfinder.com website last night...just for "fun" or something. (And also because I'm thinking maybe it'd be better, and more feasible, for me to get an older puppy.) And man, it made my heart ache seeing all the dogs on there that are listed as "adult" or "senior" and wondering if they'll ever get a permanent home. I think most of the dogs listed there are in foster homes and such, but yeah. It's sad. And it didn't help that earlier I had been thinking about Kebbie, and my mind somehow wandered to the worst memory I have related to her -- the day/moment we put her down. Ugh. I'm always ok with the whole situation until my mind goes there.
I'm just so tired and I'm trying to distract myself from things. I'm just limping through the finish line (which I'll cross, excluding finals, in approximately 24 hours. Schnikies), and by tomorrow I might just be crawling. And argh my "B" isn't coming with me because ever since last night when I took it off the keyboard to get a piece of gerba that was down there, it's been temperamental and not wanting to work unless I push really really hard on it. This happened to my left side control key sometime last semester, which had been the one I used primarily, but I got annoyed with it and retrained myself to use the one to the right of my space bar. And now it works well. But I don't have another B key. So...bbbbbbbbbbboo. Sorry. My computer's falling apart, and ain't it fun?
Anyway. The problem with trying to distract myself from certain things is that I then start thinking too much about that which I'm using to distract myself, and then I need to be distracted from that. So yeah. Doesn't work too well. But that's ok. I'll pretend for another month that it doesn't look bad or unworkable, the me getting a puppy situation. Sigh. Anyway. One more paper to finish tonight, so maybe I'll be able to forget about the puppy thing for a little while tonight.
Also, even though it's a dumb thing for me to be doing, I was sort of browsing the petfinder.com website last night...just for "fun" or something. (And also because I'm thinking maybe it'd be better, and more feasible, for me to get an older puppy.) And man, it made my heart ache seeing all the dogs on there that are listed as "adult" or "senior" and wondering if they'll ever get a permanent home. I think most of the dogs listed there are in foster homes and such, but yeah. It's sad. And it didn't help that earlier I had been thinking about Kebbie, and my mind somehow wandered to the worst memory I have related to her -- the day/moment we put her down. Ugh. I'm always ok with the whole situation until my mind goes there.
I'm just so tired and I'm trying to distract myself from things. I'm just limping through the finish line (which I'll cross, excluding finals, in approximately 24 hours. Schnikies), and by tomorrow I might just be crawling. And argh my "B" isn't coming with me because ever since last night when I took it off the keyboard to get a piece of gerba that was down there, it's been temperamental and not wanting to work unless I push really really hard on it. This happened to my left side control key sometime last semester, which had been the one I used primarily, but I got annoyed with it and retrained myself to use the one to the right of my space bar. And now it works well. But I don't have another B key. So...bbbbbbbbbbboo. Sorry. My computer's falling apart, and ain't it fun?
Anyway. The problem with trying to distract myself from certain things is that I then start thinking too much about that which I'm using to distract myself, and then I need to be distracted from that. So yeah. Doesn't work too well. But that's ok. I'll pretend for another month that it doesn't look bad or unworkable, the me getting a puppy situation. Sigh. Anyway. One more paper to finish tonight, so maybe I'll be able to forget about the puppy thing for a little while tonight.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Posting up a storm today!
Blogger's been very much somewhat slightly annoying me lately. Well, mostly today. I was trying to change the colors of my blog so that they look slightly less dreary and slightly more spring/summery, to match my no longer winter picture up at the top. (Of course, now that I think about it I don't think I can change the main background color, just the background color of the text and such. So that grey-ish color is staying. Which perhaps means I should just find a new look altogether, perhaps. We'll see.) Anyway, I would make the changes I wanted, click the "Save changes" button, and it'd say "Saving" but then not do anything and never finish. So I never got it to change. And it's just...there have been little things here and there that are just annoying me. I'm considering transferring my whole blog (you can do that!) to wordpress or something like that. I haven't quite decided to do that yet, but I have been considering it anyway for awhile now. Maybe not even transferring this, but starting over at a new place. I think I had almost decided to do it, probably once I start my "new life" or something. Start over everywhere. But I'm not sure yet. We all know how much I dislike changing things if I can avoid it.
Speaking of change, I got something in the mail today. A book, ordered from half.com. About puppy-raising. I'm very excited about it. It's also making me realize a few things though (of course I already opened it and started reading, first about the "Deciding to Adopt a Puppy" chapter then the "A New Beginning" chapter about the first few days. Why would I do something like homework when I can read about puppies?). Firstly, I definitely need to figure out if it's feasible for me to come home every day during lunch to walk the puppy/let it go to the bathroom, etc. I think I could make it work, but it'd mean spending my whole lunch (half) hour driving to and from the house and going on a walk. I am ok with that, really, but yeah. I just have to figure it all out. And then there's another thing I wasn't really considering before, the fact that I'd need to spend at least a few days at home with the puppy. Obviously that poses a bigger problem because I'm only going to have weekends off, and I can't just...take a few days off a month or two into a new job. I'll have 4th of July off,which is a Friday, but I don't know if that'd work. So I guess it's still up in the air, which is disappointing. Who knows, maybe I can get a puppy for my birthday if this summer doesn't work out. It'll be really sad having to wait that long (by my birthday it'll be six months without any pets in my life), but maybe that's what has to happen. I don't know. But the thought of waiting that long does sort of make me want to cry (because I've been building myself up for this disappointment for a few weeks now). Ah well. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Sigh.
I have to get up early (-er than I would normally on a Tuesday) tomorrow because I have a check up appointment to see how my cyst is doing. Hopefully it's not doing anything because hopefully it's gone. I'm not really looking forward to the appointment (having to get up early, drive down to the office, etc), but I guess if I'm given the all-clear it'll be worth it. It'll be nice to know either way, I guess. My last appointment was...the end of January I think. Maybe early Feb. I forget. But yeah, almost three months. So who knows. If it's still there, I'm not sure what the next course of action will be. Whatever it is though, it'll probably be done in Colorado because it'll probably involve something a tad more invasive, and I'd just rather not put myself through that in these next few weeks. Although, hm, I don't know when I'd be able to do it with my new job and such, which I'm starting May 27th...ah well. Maybe nothing has to happen anyway. I should just wait and see. But ugh I hate going to the doctor. Even when it's not even a big deal, as in this case. Oh well.
This has been making the rounds quite a bit today. It's really an amazing story. Jim Caviezel is just awesome. I just went to his Imdb page and it's amazing how many people seem angry at him for his strong Catholic views. Weird. Anyway, good for him and his wife. Seriously.
Sigh. I should really finish that stupid history paper. I don't even know how hard I'm going to try, because I sort of want to go to bed soon. And I'm just sick of this paper. And trying to find more sources? Ugh. We'll see. I don't even need to work that hard because, have I mentioned the pass/fail thing? haha. I suck. Good thing my days as a student are numbered. (Eeek!)
Man, I really want to make this puppy thing work. Sigh. I don't know. Yeah yeah yeah it's pointless to worry about it now. I have almost a month before I'm home and can even start considering it, and I really probably need to wait until I start my job and figure out how the schedule works and such...but...sigh. Oh, and it's not even as though I can just go get a puppy as soon as I decide it's feasible (if I decide it's feasible), because I then have to decide where I'd want to buy from, and what kind, and all that jazz. So even though I may decide shortly after starting work etc that I can do it, that doesn't mean the right puppy will be available right away. So I may have to wait anyway. Who knows. Ok. Sorry.
Speaking of change, I got something in the mail today. A book, ordered from half.com. About puppy-raising. I'm very excited about it. It's also making me realize a few things though (of course I already opened it and started reading, first about the "Deciding to Adopt a Puppy" chapter then the "A New Beginning" chapter about the first few days. Why would I do something like homework when I can read about puppies?). Firstly, I definitely need to figure out if it's feasible for me to come home every day during lunch to walk the puppy/let it go to the bathroom, etc. I think I could make it work, but it'd mean spending my whole lunch (half) hour driving to and from the house and going on a walk. I am ok with that, really, but yeah. I just have to figure it all out. And then there's another thing I wasn't really considering before, the fact that I'd need to spend at least a few days at home with the puppy. Obviously that poses a bigger problem because I'm only going to have weekends off, and I can't just...take a few days off a month or two into a new job. I'll have 4th of July off,which is a Friday, but I don't know if that'd work. So I guess it's still up in the air, which is disappointing. Who knows, maybe I can get a puppy for my birthday if this summer doesn't work out. It'll be really sad having to wait that long (by my birthday it'll be six months without any pets in my life), but maybe that's what has to happen. I don't know. But the thought of waiting that long does sort of make me want to cry (because I've been building myself up for this disappointment for a few weeks now). Ah well. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Sigh.
I have to get up early (-er than I would normally on a Tuesday) tomorrow because I have a check up appointment to see how my cyst is doing. Hopefully it's not doing anything because hopefully it's gone. I'm not really looking forward to the appointment (having to get up early, drive down to the office, etc), but I guess if I'm given the all-clear it'll be worth it. It'll be nice to know either way, I guess. My last appointment was...the end of January I think. Maybe early Feb. I forget. But yeah, almost three months. So who knows. If it's still there, I'm not sure what the next course of action will be. Whatever it is though, it'll probably be done in Colorado because it'll probably involve something a tad more invasive, and I'd just rather not put myself through that in these next few weeks. Although, hm, I don't know when I'd be able to do it with my new job and such, which I'm starting May 27th...ah well. Maybe nothing has to happen anyway. I should just wait and see. But ugh I hate going to the doctor. Even when it's not even a big deal, as in this case. Oh well.
This has been making the rounds quite a bit today. It's really an amazing story. Jim Caviezel is just awesome. I just went to his Imdb page and it's amazing how many people seem angry at him for his strong Catholic views. Weird. Anyway, good for him and his wife. Seriously.
Sigh. I should really finish that stupid history paper. I don't even know how hard I'm going to try, because I sort of want to go to bed soon. And I'm just sick of this paper. And trying to find more sources? Ugh. We'll see. I don't even need to work that hard because, have I mentioned the pass/fail thing? haha. I suck. Good thing my days as a student are numbered. (Eeek!)
Man, I really want to make this puppy thing work. Sigh. I don't know. Yeah yeah yeah it's pointless to worry about it now. I have almost a month before I'm home and can even start considering it, and I really probably need to wait until I start my job and figure out how the schedule works and such...but...sigh. Oh, and it's not even as though I can just go get a puppy as soon as I decide it's feasible (if I decide it's feasible), because I then have to decide where I'd want to buy from, and what kind, and all that jazz. So even though I may decide shortly after starting work etc that I can do it, that doesn't mean the right puppy will be available right away. So I may have to wait anyway. Who knows. Ok. Sorry.
A few purdy pictures
At least, I think they're pretty. But I know their context better than some who read this. And their context is half the reason I find them so lovely.
Checking in with the morning report
I don't know how people do it. How do they eat breakfast in the morning? My stomach is never up for it until at least an hour or two after I wake up (at which point I'm usually in class and can't do anything about it), except maybe those days that I get up insanely late. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I start a real job where I have to be there at 9am...wake up at 6 maybe? Except then I'd have to go to sleep by 10, 11 at the latest to get 7 or 8 hours of sleep (if I don't get at least that much, my stomach is in even worse shape when I wake up), and I wonder if that's even possible for me. Hm...I think I used to eat breakfast in the morning during high school...I think...maybe I just need to re-train myself or something.
Know what else I'll need to do when I get back home? Figure out where I'm going to plunk myself down as an official member of a parish (as a singular entity separate from my parents). Tithing and everything! I just don't know where it'll be...another reason I'm excited about my job. I have a feeling the people there will be able to give me some insights as to where might be good, what church might have a Mass with all the smells and bells I've grown so accustomed to here. And -- gasp! -- maybe even an organ! I wonder what parishes in my diocese even have organs. They seem to have gone by the wayside in favor of drums and guitars and (shudder) tambourines. Ah, well. Hopefully I'll find something. There's gotta be at least one Mass like that in the whole of the diocese, right? I mean, if it weren't so far away, and if gas weren't so expensive now (or so I hear -- I haven't filled up my tank since I drove back after Christmas, but I believe I saw 3.65 the other day when I was driving around. Gross), I'd happily mosey on up to Holy Ghost in Denver every Sunday. But alas, it is far, and gas is expensive, so I might have to make those trips very infrequently.
Guys, know what I did yesterday? I worked out for 40 minutes. It was amazing. And I was surprised to discover that they added an elliptical machine down in the basement, so there's two now! That'll greatly up my chances when I manage to make it down there to see if one's free. Here's the amazing thing, though. Yeah, it was only 40 minutes. It was a good forty minutes though, in my opinion. And some how, the rest of the day I really felt it. I didn't feel nearly so jiggly walking around (hey, it happens, ok? We're not all fit and firm). And today I still feel so much better about myself. I just finally got to the point where I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to feel great and maybe even look great. It takes a lot of motivation to start, but hopefully I can keep at it this week and next and continuing on. (Of course, I was up early enough this morning that I could/should have worked out, but I just don't feel very good in the mornings apparently. So...I didn't. Maybe I still will later today, or maybe I'll just go for three days this week or something.) I've also been working out my arms a bit the past few nights, because in a few weeks I'll be wearing a halter top dress at my brother's wedding and would prefer it if my arms weren't quite so flabby as they are now. Who knows how much of a difference working out with wimpy weights will make in three or four weeks, but at least it's something.
Despite yesterday's post (or possibly not despite...), I am really excited about the future. I have no idea how things are going to work out for me, and I keep wondering what my life is going to look like by my birthday (four months after I graduate). But I'm hopeful things will go well. So we'll see. And plus, this week is the beginning of lilac season! I can't wait for the lilacs! Ugh I'll be so sad if they get frosted and die tonight. Hopefully that doesn't happen though.
Anyway. How weird to be writing a post at 10 in the morning. I got up at 9 though so I could buy tickets for a few of the Senior Week events (Cubs game and Cedar Point trip). Cost sort of a lot for a cheapo like me, but my friends are going and I want to do fun things that week. I'm a little wary of the Cedar Point trip, though. I'm not sure how well I get along with roller coasters...haven't been on one in several years, so I guess we'll see...I hope I don't get dizzy and sick on the first ride and then have to sit around all day while everyone else has fun. That wouldn't be cool. I've been hearing about it for the last four years, though, from people who know and love it, so it'll be fun to experience it at least once. I think Senior Week will be lots of fun. I'm excited. Yay life! Oh and here, just one:
Know what else I'll need to do when I get back home? Figure out where I'm going to plunk myself down as an official member of a parish (as a singular entity separate from my parents). Tithing and everything! I just don't know where it'll be...another reason I'm excited about my job. I have a feeling the people there will be able to give me some insights as to where might be good, what church might have a Mass with all the smells and bells I've grown so accustomed to here. And -- gasp! -- maybe even an organ! I wonder what parishes in my diocese even have organs. They seem to have gone by the wayside in favor of drums and guitars and (shudder) tambourines. Ah, well. Hopefully I'll find something. There's gotta be at least one Mass like that in the whole of the diocese, right? I mean, if it weren't so far away, and if gas weren't so expensive now (or so I hear -- I haven't filled up my tank since I drove back after Christmas, but I believe I saw 3.65 the other day when I was driving around. Gross), I'd happily mosey on up to Holy Ghost in Denver every Sunday. But alas, it is far, and gas is expensive, so I might have to make those trips very infrequently.
Guys, know what I did yesterday? I worked out for 40 minutes. It was amazing. And I was surprised to discover that they added an elliptical machine down in the basement, so there's two now! That'll greatly up my chances when I manage to make it down there to see if one's free. Here's the amazing thing, though. Yeah, it was only 40 minutes. It was a good forty minutes though, in my opinion. And some how, the rest of the day I really felt it. I didn't feel nearly so jiggly walking around (hey, it happens, ok? We're not all fit and firm). And today I still feel so much better about myself. I just finally got to the point where I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to feel great and maybe even look great. It takes a lot of motivation to start, but hopefully I can keep at it this week and next and continuing on. (Of course, I was up early enough this morning that I could/should have worked out, but I just don't feel very good in the mornings apparently. So...I didn't. Maybe I still will later today, or maybe I'll just go for three days this week or something.) I've also been working out my arms a bit the past few nights, because in a few weeks I'll be wearing a halter top dress at my brother's wedding and would prefer it if my arms weren't quite so flabby as they are now. Who knows how much of a difference working out with wimpy weights will make in three or four weeks, but at least it's something.
Despite yesterday's post (or possibly not despite...), I am really excited about the future. I have no idea how things are going to work out for me, and I keep wondering what my life is going to look like by my birthday (four months after I graduate). But I'm hopeful things will go well. So we'll see. And plus, this week is the beginning of lilac season! I can't wait for the lilacs! Ugh I'll be so sad if they get frosted and die tonight. Hopefully that doesn't happen though.
Anyway. How weird to be writing a post at 10 in the morning. I got up at 9 though so I could buy tickets for a few of the Senior Week events (Cubs game and Cedar Point trip). Cost sort of a lot for a cheapo like me, but my friends are going and I want to do fun things that week. I'm a little wary of the Cedar Point trip, though. I'm not sure how well I get along with roller coasters...haven't been on one in several years, so I guess we'll see...I hope I don't get dizzy and sick on the first ride and then have to sit around all day while everyone else has fun. That wouldn't be cool. I've been hearing about it for the last four years, though, from people who know and love it, so it'll be fun to experience it at least once. I think Senior Week will be lots of fun. I'm excited. Yay life! Oh and here, just one:
Oh, what the heck, one more:
(Grotto with a little Dome action in the background)
(Grotto with a little Dome action in the background)Sunday, April 27, 2008
Bleh
So to update, my laptop's not quite dead. But I think I will be calling Dell tomorrow or sometime this week to get a new motherboard. Tonight, a bit ago, the power cord wasn't registering so I figured maybe I'd get lucky and have it do what it was doing for awhile before the last time I had to get a new motherboard: Stop registering, go into hibernate, then decide to register that the power cord is in fact plugged in. And start recharging. Enabling me to turn my computer on again. That's what happened tonight, so yeah. But I think I'll want to get a new motherboard soon just so it doesn't get to the point where it just doesn't register at all. I might rather wait until I'm done with these two papers though. Maybe I'll call them on Tuesday. Maybe I should just call tomorrow. They usually manage next-day service, but sometimes schedules don't work out so it has to be a bit longer than a day. Anyway. Yeah.
Man, I wish I had been even a little bit productive today. Sigh. At least I got my graduation announcements addressed and senior pictures put in them and whatnot. That's...something, right? Sigh.
OH. I also am caught up in uploading pictures from my camera. So. Tomorrow, when I should be doing things like writing papers and whatnot (psh, who does that?), perhaps I'll be uploading some here, if my computer lets me. Maybe onto Facebook too, but perhaps I'll save that until a bit later in the week when I don't have papers to write. Man. I'm two papers away from being done. (Aside from, you know, the couple finals I have and whatnot. But who's thinking that far ahead?) So, be excited. I've taken some pretty ones over the past week or so around campus. Gosh I love this campus in the springtime. I love blooming things. It makes my heart sing, it makes me so unbelievably happy. And even when the pretty flowers on the trees leave, it's not that bad because there are lovely green leaves right behind them. No more bare trees until winter! Oooooh and the lilacs are starting to bloom! I'm SO excited for that! They should be in full bloom by the end of the week, I think, so I'll be taking lots of lilac bush pictures. There are two really big bushes of them outside the Basilica, and one outside Washington Hall, and there's a bunch in front of Debartolo. Man it better not frost this week and kill them all. That'd be so sad. It's supposed to get somewhat chilly this week, which is not cool. Maybe some snow tomorrow night. And for most of the 10-day forecast, it's rainy. Bleh. We've had enough of that. We need more SUN and WARMTH. I just hope graduation weekend is nice. It had better be nice.
ALSO. Homeward Bound is an awesome movie. Never fails to make me cry (or come close). Apparently the two subjects most likely to cause me to tear up are: saying goodbye to a mom (Stepmom, which was on TV today) and dog/animal related things. I can't watch Where the Red Fern Grows because it's just too sad. At least the tears induced by Homeward Bound are happy. Man. I miss having a dog. I can't wait to have another one in my life. (Oh and I still really wish I could find the soundtrack to Homeward Bound somewhere. It's not very available, but it's such a good score.)
Ok. Back to being productive. ("Back to"? Yeah right. Haha.) Even though all I really want to do is play around with my pretty pictures. I love Dome shots. I have a lot of them. Including a lot from out my window...I've loved having a Dome-side room this year, noise in the parking lot excluded. Ok. You won't hear from me again tonight, I promise.
Man, I wish I had been even a little bit productive today. Sigh. At least I got my graduation announcements addressed and senior pictures put in them and whatnot. That's...something, right? Sigh.
OH. I also am caught up in uploading pictures from my camera. So. Tomorrow, when I should be doing things like writing papers and whatnot (psh, who does that?), perhaps I'll be uploading some here, if my computer lets me. Maybe onto Facebook too, but perhaps I'll save that until a bit later in the week when I don't have papers to write. Man. I'm two papers away from being done. (Aside from, you know, the couple finals I have and whatnot. But who's thinking that far ahead?) So, be excited. I've taken some pretty ones over the past week or so around campus. Gosh I love this campus in the springtime. I love blooming things. It makes my heart sing, it makes me so unbelievably happy. And even when the pretty flowers on the trees leave, it's not that bad because there are lovely green leaves right behind them. No more bare trees until winter! Oooooh and the lilacs are starting to bloom! I'm SO excited for that! They should be in full bloom by the end of the week, I think, so I'll be taking lots of lilac bush pictures. There are two really big bushes of them outside the Basilica, and one outside Washington Hall, and there's a bunch in front of Debartolo. Man it better not frost this week and kill them all. That'd be so sad. It's supposed to get somewhat chilly this week, which is not cool. Maybe some snow tomorrow night. And for most of the 10-day forecast, it's rainy. Bleh. We've had enough of that. We need more SUN and WARMTH. I just hope graduation weekend is nice. It had better be nice.
ALSO. Homeward Bound is an awesome movie. Never fails to make me cry (or come close). Apparently the two subjects most likely to cause me to tear up are: saying goodbye to a mom (Stepmom, which was on TV today) and dog/animal related things. I can't watch Where the Red Fern Grows because it's just too sad. At least the tears induced by Homeward Bound are happy. Man. I miss having a dog. I can't wait to have another one in my life. (Oh and I still really wish I could find the soundtrack to Homeward Bound somewhere. It's not very available, but it's such a good score.)
Ok. Back to being productive. ("Back to"? Yeah right. Haha.) Even though all I really want to do is play around with my pretty pictures. I love Dome shots. I have a lot of them. Including a lot from out my window...I've loved having a Dome-side room this year, noise in the parking lot excluded. Ok. You won't hear from me again tonight, I promise.
Is school over yet?
Seriously, this paper is kicking my tail. It's not due until Wednesday but I wanted to have something by tomorrow so I can go in to my prof's office hours so it looks like I'm making an effort at least. He wants me to make an effort on this one. Bleh. "Is modern democracy likely to have a shared conception of its common good? If not, why not? And does this matter?" We're supposed to use our past two papers to help answer this question. But, uh, I have no idea how. I guess I haven't really managed to sit down and just start typing and see what comes out, sometimes that helps. I just don't want to do it. But man I can't believe it's my last paper. I do have another one due Tuesday, a final copy of the history paper I wrote a few weeks ago, which I have to manage to make three pages longer somehow...gosh I have no idea how I'm going to do that. I used a few block quotes too and double-spaced them (one thing I looked at online had them double spaced, but I was pretty sure they're supposed to be single-spaced, but it made my paper longer so I did it double. Oh well), so it's even more than three pages. And he wants me to use more of those sources from that one website. Problem is, I've pretty much exhausted all the ones that are at all relevant to my topic, so I guess maybe I'll just have to branch out a bit more somehow or something. My thesis is shaky enough as it is, and doing that's just going to make it worse. But at least it's pass/fail so it doesn't really matter if this paper is stellar or not.
And...argh. Lovely. My computer is now refusing to acknowledge that it is, in fact, connected to the power cord. You have got to be kidding me. Wow. It's been spotty every once in awhile, a few times a day, for a week or two now, but this is unexpected. To happen this quickly, all at once. Well. Guess I better get the number for Dell so they can order me a new motherboard tomorrow. Wonderful. Aw crap crap crap crap this is not good. I have to go take care of things in the 10 minutes of battery power I have.
And...argh. Lovely. My computer is now refusing to acknowledge that it is, in fact, connected to the power cord. You have got to be kidding me. Wow. It's been spotty every once in awhile, a few times a day, for a week or two now, but this is unexpected. To happen this quickly, all at once. Well. Guess I better get the number for Dell so they can order me a new motherboard tomorrow. Wonderful. Aw crap crap crap crap this is not good. I have to go take care of things in the 10 minutes of battery power I have.
On a lighter note
Dogs are awesome, but cats have their good points too...
Man I miss having cats. The thing is, dogs (real dogs) are too big to hold on your lap and cuddle with, really. But cats are small and easily cuddle-able, and they purr. And you can pick them up and squeeze them. Mmm. I definitely don't think my cat days are over, but I think Dad would probably put his foot down on that request.
Anyway.
(In other news, there's nothing quite so daunting as a completely blank page staring at you when you have a paper to write. And, oh yeah, it's your LAST PAPER EVER. Last. Paper. Ever. To be turned in on Wednesday. Your last day of class. Ever. Your last class. Ever. Wow. I can't imagine what it'll be like never to get a grade on anything again. Such a bizarre thought. Maybe I'll pull a Lisa Simpson and start begging my mom to give me a grade. For anything.)
Man I miss having cats. The thing is, dogs (real dogs) are too big to hold on your lap and cuddle with, really. But cats are small and easily cuddle-able, and they purr. And you can pick them up and squeeze them. Mmm. I definitely don't think my cat days are over, but I think Dad would probably put his foot down on that request.
Anyway.
(In other news, there's nothing quite so daunting as a completely blank page staring at you when you have a paper to write. And, oh yeah, it's your LAST PAPER EVER. Last. Paper. Ever. To be turned in on Wednesday. Your last day of class. Ever. Your last class. Ever. Wow. I can't imagine what it'll be like never to get a grade on anything again. Such a bizarre thought. Maybe I'll pull a Lisa Simpson and start begging my mom to give me a grade. For anything.)
Nothing lasts forever
I was on the verge of tears during most of Mass this morning. For some reason it just hit me. I have three weeks left at this place which is so much a part of me. Three weeks. And then I leave it until who knows when. And my friends. We're all going to disperse. I have no idea when I'll see any of them again. And there's the people I'm not really friends with whom I've gotten accustomed to seeing. And the people I don't even know who I see all the time and won't ever again. And all the priests here, most of whom I don't know their names but I've heard countless Masses said by them. All that's going to be over. And I'm going back to Colorado, where a totally new life awaits me. The only thing that isn't changing (and I guess this is a good thing) is the fact that I'll still be living at home. So I'll still, for a little while, get to have a bit of not quite being on my own yet. But to get to that new life, I have to leave this one. I have to leave this place. And it's finally really hitting me, that this is all going to end in three short weeks. Three weeks. Three weeks?
It's not really that I'm scared about what my life will be like four weeks from now. It's just that...am I ready to leave all this behind? Leave a part of my heart forever? Thing is, it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not. It's happening whether I like it or not. Three weeks from now I'm going to have to say good bye to this place that's had such an effect on who I am today, good or bad. I'm excited to see what the future holds, but I'm sad at the thought of letting this place go. Unfortunately, I can't have both. It's yesterday or tomorrow, and since yesterday's all but gone, it's time to move on to tomorrow.
But that doesn't mean it's not going to hurt.
It's not really that I'm scared about what my life will be like four weeks from now. It's just that...am I ready to leave all this behind? Leave a part of my heart forever? Thing is, it doesn't matter if I'm ready or not. It's happening whether I like it or not. Three weeks from now I'm going to have to say good bye to this place that's had such an effect on who I am today, good or bad. I'm excited to see what the future holds, but I'm sad at the thought of letting this place go. Unfortunately, I can't have both. It's yesterday or tomorrow, and since yesterday's all but gone, it's time to move on to tomorrow.
But that doesn't mean it's not going to hurt.
Headaches are no fun until they're gone.
Know what's not a fun game to play? The "Why is Susie nauseated?" game. Is it because I need to eat something (hence the extreme shakiness I'm feeling right now), or would eating something be the absolute worst thing for me right now? I just don't know. I suppose I could just eat something and if it's the bad choice, well, then maybe certain things will happen and maybe it'll make me feel better. Or maybe I could just go to bed, as I should anyway because it's after midnight and I'm getting up to go to the 10am Mass. Eh. Oh well.
Ok now it's...a bit later. I started feeling a tad less shaky and such, so then I decided I should eat something (it had been longer than I realized since I really ate anything), and I just took some excedrin, so hopefully the headache will go away soon-ish. If not before I go to sleep (doubtful), then definitely while I'm asleep and thus I hopefully won't wake up with a headache. That's always so disappointing.
I just had a nice long conversation (on the phone!) with my friend Lauren. She's one of my best friends from my high school days, and we always have just so much fun when we're together. At least, I think we do. Haha. Anyway. It's funny, we both hate talking on the phone, and yet I have the longest phone conversations with her compared to those I have with anyone else. Very weird. She's lovely. She goes to school in California, and last summer she stayed out there to do summer school and such. Couple that with the fact that her school starts a good week or two earlier than ND, and goes back after Christmas sooner than ND, and gets out earlier than ND, not to mention family commitments and jobs and such during breaks, I haven't seen her more than probably a handful of days since...I don't know, the summer before my junior year, maybe. Quite sad. But at least we do whatever possible to see each other when we're both around. She finished finals and everything this week, and is going home on Monday. She'll be there until May 20th or so, at which point she's going off to her summer job, working at a sports camp or something like that in a state that's not Colorado. I'm not going to be getting home until May 20th, and who knows what time that day (I have to be out of my dorm by 11am on May 19th, which is sort of annoying -- normally at the end of semesters students have to be out of the dorms by 2pm the Saturday after finals. 11am is early, especially considering we graduate the day before. Oh well. So yeah, then it's a 19ish hour drive home, and chances are my parents are going to want to stop for the night somewhere instead of driving through, so then it will probably be afternoon by the time we get home that Tuesday, depending on stuff). So that's really sad. We might manage to squeeze in a Village Inn visit or something that night, but who knows. If not then, she'll be home a week or two in July-ish, so we can manage something then. I just love her. She's awesome. It's sad that we see each other so infrequently now, but at least we still see each other. It's worth it.
Anyway. Not sure why I just went into all that detail about that. Maybe it's the headache.
On another topic entirely, I've watched three movies this weekend. Last night was the perfect date. (Yesterday was April 25th. Watch Miss Congeniality if you don't get the reference.) Caitlin and I had a romantic dinner at the dining hall (man, I am getting sick of that place. And not a moment too soon, either) and then we went to the dollar theater in town ($2 movies on the weekends), where we saw National Treasure 2. Neither of us had seen it and both had wanted to, so it worked out quite well. And it was a really good movie, too. Cheesy, sure, somewhat unbelievable at parts, but it's as good as you can expect from that type of movie. I really enjoyed it. And it was PG which means no sex and no cursing. Plus, yay history! Really just an all-around great time. After that I went with her back to her apartment, where we eventually watched Back to the Future. Such a good movie. Again cheesy and dumb, but lots of fun. Plus the 50s scenes are great. I love the 50s. Haha. Lots of cursing in that one, but...could be worse. It's fun anyway. I really haven't seen it that much so it's always a good time when I do. And so weird that it's set the year I was born. The 80s were so cool. From an outsider's perspective. Haha. Anyway. Oh yeah and tonight I watched Stardust with a few friends. I hadn't seen that one before either and had wanted to. Good stuff. Oh and man I'm so excited for some of the movies that are coming out this summer. Prince Caspian, the new Batman movie, the second Traveling Pants movie, maybe the new Indiana Jones, Get Smart, Wall-E (I didn't really have interest in seeing this one until I saw a good trailer for it last night at the theater -- I never want to see Pixar movies, and then I finally do and end up thinking they're wonderful), yeah I think that's most of what I want to see. Anyway. Yeah.
Well, now it's really time for bed. Bed is good.
Ok now it's...a bit later. I started feeling a tad less shaky and such, so then I decided I should eat something (it had been longer than I realized since I really ate anything), and I just took some excedrin, so hopefully the headache will go away soon-ish. If not before I go to sleep (doubtful), then definitely while I'm asleep and thus I hopefully won't wake up with a headache. That's always so disappointing.
I just had a nice long conversation (on the phone!) with my friend Lauren. She's one of my best friends from my high school days, and we always have just so much fun when we're together. At least, I think we do. Haha. Anyway. It's funny, we both hate talking on the phone, and yet I have the longest phone conversations with her compared to those I have with anyone else. Very weird. She's lovely. She goes to school in California, and last summer she stayed out there to do summer school and such. Couple that with the fact that her school starts a good week or two earlier than ND, and goes back after Christmas sooner than ND, and gets out earlier than ND, not to mention family commitments and jobs and such during breaks, I haven't seen her more than probably a handful of days since...I don't know, the summer before my junior year, maybe. Quite sad. But at least we do whatever possible to see each other when we're both around. She finished finals and everything this week, and is going home on Monday. She'll be there until May 20th or so, at which point she's going off to her summer job, working at a sports camp or something like that in a state that's not Colorado. I'm not going to be getting home until May 20th, and who knows what time that day (I have to be out of my dorm by 11am on May 19th, which is sort of annoying -- normally at the end of semesters students have to be out of the dorms by 2pm the Saturday after finals. 11am is early, especially considering we graduate the day before. Oh well. So yeah, then it's a 19ish hour drive home, and chances are my parents are going to want to stop for the night somewhere instead of driving through, so then it will probably be afternoon by the time we get home that Tuesday, depending on stuff). So that's really sad. We might manage to squeeze in a Village Inn visit or something that night, but who knows. If not then, she'll be home a week or two in July-ish, so we can manage something then. I just love her. She's awesome. It's sad that we see each other so infrequently now, but at least we still see each other. It's worth it.
Anyway. Not sure why I just went into all that detail about that. Maybe it's the headache.
On another topic entirely, I've watched three movies this weekend. Last night was the perfect date. (Yesterday was April 25th. Watch Miss Congeniality if you don't get the reference.) Caitlin and I had a romantic dinner at the dining hall (man, I am getting sick of that place. And not a moment too soon, either) and then we went to the dollar theater in town ($2 movies on the weekends), where we saw National Treasure 2. Neither of us had seen it and both had wanted to, so it worked out quite well. And it was a really good movie, too. Cheesy, sure, somewhat unbelievable at parts, but it's as good as you can expect from that type of movie. I really enjoyed it. And it was PG which means no sex and no cursing. Plus, yay history! Really just an all-around great time. After that I went with her back to her apartment, where we eventually watched Back to the Future. Such a good movie. Again cheesy and dumb, but lots of fun. Plus the 50s scenes are great. I love the 50s. Haha. Lots of cursing in that one, but...could be worse. It's fun anyway. I really haven't seen it that much so it's always a good time when I do. And so weird that it's set the year I was born. The 80s were so cool. From an outsider's perspective. Haha. Anyway. Oh yeah and tonight I watched Stardust with a few friends. I hadn't seen that one before either and had wanted to. Good stuff. Oh and man I'm so excited for some of the movies that are coming out this summer. Prince Caspian, the new Batman movie, the second Traveling Pants movie, maybe the new Indiana Jones, Get Smart, Wall-E (I didn't really have interest in seeing this one until I saw a good trailer for it last night at the theater -- I never want to see Pixar movies, and then I finally do and end up thinking they're wonderful), yeah I think that's most of what I want to see. Anyway. Yeah.
Well, now it's really time for bed. Bed is good.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Let's be honest (and these two topics are completely unrelated)
I went to walgreens.com today to find a phone number for the Walgreens around here, so I could refill my prescription. Turns out, you can do it online! I'm a big fan of this because me and phones? Yeah, not so much. I don't really know why, but I have a big thing about calling people. Anyone, really, but there are a few people who I'll call (or pick up the phone if it's them calling) and actually want to talk. Most others I avoid calling or I hope for an answering machine if I absolutely have to call. Yeah. Part of the reason that me saying the internet sucks the other day really isn't quite true. But...well that gets into a whole big thing that I don't want to get into. Anyway. I put the order in, told them a time I'd pick it up, and two hours later than planned I got it. And the even more beautiful part is that I could even use the express pay that's set up back home but which I guess is connected to my prescription anyway. (It's set up for one of my dad's cards, I'm pretty sure, but I'll pay him back if he wants me to, obviously. It was just quite convenient.) Yay for online ordering.
Know what's not so great? Being a singleton when your friends are not. Obviously not all my friends have boyfriends, but some of them do. And sometimes I even get to go out with these friends and their boyfriends...and their couple-friends. That's lots of fun. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb. Ugh. I've been mostly ok with the single thing for the past month or so, mostly, I guess partially because obviously I'm not going to get a boyfriend or anything in the last month or two of school (if it hasn't happened in the past four years, why would it happen now?), but just also because I know it'll happen when it happens. But that doesn't really make me feel better when some friends get boyfriends and stop being around ever so that I haven't spent much time with them at all, to say the least, since the boyfriending happened. And it doesn't make me feel better when I'm single with the two serious couples. And it doesn't make me feel better when everyone else has "someone special" to go talk to about this that or the other and I'm stuck writing about it in my journal or something because, let's be honest, no one else really cares. And other times. Eh. I don't know. It just sucks, and that's just the way it is. And so, since I'm all alone and have no one to dote on like a girlfriend would, I want a puppy. That's not the only reason, of course, but I'm sure it's part of it. Maybe I won't have a boyfriend but at least I can go on walks with my dog instead of by myself. Buy puppy toys and special treats for it. All that fun stuff. Can't find someone that loves me? Might as well buy something that loves me.
(By the way, the aforementioned dinner? That was tonight, obviously, hence the post. I really wanted to back out of it because I just didn't want to be put in that position. Which I'm sure I'm blowing out of proportion and I probably felt more awkward than anyone else and no one else probably even noticed. But I did. Anyway, I didn't back out, because it's my friend's birthday, and she means a lot to me, and I wanted to be there for her. It's not all about me, surprisingly. And both couples are lovely people. We're all theo majors too, which is an interesting change from my usual group of engineering friends, with Julie the graphic design major thrown in there. Or my other group of friends who are mostly arts and letters majors but not theo majors. Anyway. It was nice to go to dinner with them all, it just...eh. It's hard for me I guess because I'm not comfortable being single. Obviously. I probably should embrace it as being what I'm called to be right now, but it's hard for me to accept. And clearly I'm slightly bitter, which is bad. Eh I don't know. It just sort of sucks when you're single and thus want to spend time with your friends, but your friends are busy elsewhere because they're not single.)
Aaaaand...now we're done with the sharing, I think.
At least it's thundering out right now. I do love me a good thunderstorm, so that's nice.
Know what's not so great? Being a singleton when your friends are not. Obviously not all my friends have boyfriends, but some of them do. And sometimes I even get to go out with these friends and their boyfriends...and their couple-friends. That's lots of fun. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb. Ugh. I've been mostly ok with the single thing for the past month or so, mostly, I guess partially because obviously I'm not going to get a boyfriend or anything in the last month or two of school (if it hasn't happened in the past four years, why would it happen now?), but just also because I know it'll happen when it happens. But that doesn't really make me feel better when some friends get boyfriends and stop being around ever so that I haven't spent much time with them at all, to say the least, since the boyfriending happened. And it doesn't make me feel better when I'm single with the two serious couples. And it doesn't make me feel better when everyone else has "someone special" to go talk to about this that or the other and I'm stuck writing about it in my journal or something because, let's be honest, no one else really cares. And other times. Eh. I don't know. It just sucks, and that's just the way it is. And so, since I'm all alone and have no one to dote on like a girlfriend would, I want a puppy. That's not the only reason, of course, but I'm sure it's part of it. Maybe I won't have a boyfriend but at least I can go on walks with my dog instead of by myself. Buy puppy toys and special treats for it. All that fun stuff. Can't find someone that loves me? Might as well buy something that loves me.
(By the way, the aforementioned dinner? That was tonight, obviously, hence the post. I really wanted to back out of it because I just didn't want to be put in that position. Which I'm sure I'm blowing out of proportion and I probably felt more awkward than anyone else and no one else probably even noticed. But I did. Anyway, I didn't back out, because it's my friend's birthday, and she means a lot to me, and I wanted to be there for her. It's not all about me, surprisingly. And both couples are lovely people. We're all theo majors too, which is an interesting change from my usual group of engineering friends, with Julie the graphic design major thrown in there. Or my other group of friends who are mostly arts and letters majors but not theo majors. Anyway. It was nice to go to dinner with them all, it just...eh. It's hard for me I guess because I'm not comfortable being single. Obviously. I probably should embrace it as being what I'm called to be right now, but it's hard for me to accept. And clearly I'm slightly bitter, which is bad. Eh I don't know. It just sort of sucks when you're single and thus want to spend time with your friends, but your friends are busy elsewhere because they're not single.)
Aaaaand...now we're done with the sharing, I think.
At least it's thundering out right now. I do love me a good thunderstorm, so that's nice.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This is what I call a real post
Perhaps I should clarify that little statement from last night. Well, I'm not really going to, but I'll say this. I don't necessarily hate the internet (or think it sucks or whatever I said), but I do tend to have a sort of love/hate relationship with it. As I do with food. Hm. Know what? I'd give almost anything not to have a sweet tooth. Man, that would be nice.
Also: I had a dream last night in which I had a horse. Only it was a foal, I'm pretty sure. Or a colt. Whatever. (Those are both baby horses, right? Male and female?) It was quite small, more like...a dog. Ha. I wonder why on earth I'd dream about that? Seriously, though, it's sort of become an all-consuming thought for me. Getting a puppy. It's all I can think about. And I don't even know if it'll happen, given my work schedule and such. (And the fact that my parents haven't given me the green light yet, but I know that'll change sooner or later.) I really really hope I can make it work, because man. That'll be disappointing as all get-out. I hate not having animals in my life. I went for a walk tonight around the two lakes (73 degree weather at 8pm: awesome), and kept seeing the ducks and geese and whatnot, and man. I just love animals. And I just want a dog. I kept thinking how nice it would have been to be walking a dog tonight. Obviously that wasn't going to be the case either way, but still. I want to be able to go on walks with a dog this summer, instead of by myself. Sigh.
Tomorrow I have a history presentation. I don't think I've had to do a presentation of any sort since sophomore year. And I've enjoyed it. Presentations and Susie just don't mix well. Luckily, ours is pretty low-key (it's a group thing, three of us), and I don't really have to worry much anyway because it's pass/fail, which is wonderful.
Know what's weird? In less than a month, I'll be home, and I'll be home for good. I'll finally live in one state and one state only again. It's been so long since I've done that. It'll be weird. Really weird. But good. College, fun as it may be, isn't the healthiest environment in many ways. But that's ok, because it's a stage that's good to experience, I think. But I am looking forward to steadiness and whatnot. Experiencing all the seasons at home again. All the stuff I did for 15 years before I came here (obviously not counting the three years at the beginning of my life where I lived in Massachusetts). Hm. Anyway. It'd be nice if I could manage to get my room cleaned up. Because right now? It's not so much. I have a problem with the clothes thing. I don't have a dresser (just a wardrobe), and my closet's basically unusable right now (it's always been more of a storage thing than a clothes-hanger-upper thing, anyway). So...I need to do something about that. Maybe I can get the desk out of there. I don't even know why I have a desk in my bedroom. I don't think I've ever used it for anything but another surface on which to collect my various packratted trinkets. (In, on, and around.) Maybe if I get that out of there, I can fit a dresser. Because I really do need a dresser. A few drawers, at least. Man it's going to be a project getting that room cleaned up. I hope I can muster enough strength to throw out all the many items, the plethora of junk I've accumulated throughout my 22 years. Old schoolwork being a big part (especially a big part of the stuff accumulated in, on, and around my desk). Don't know why I can't let go of that stuff, but I know it'll be immensely good for me. So. Yes. Anyway.
Also great about being home? Regular chiropractic care again. My back is killing me this semester. Lately especially. Not sure why it's been so bad this semester, but I've just been an unhealthy mess lately, so I guess it's just one more thing. My lower back literally aches to see my chiropractor again. Haha. Get it? I'm so funny, people.
You know, occasionally when I'm working I hear people talking (while I'm ringing them up or whatever), and they'll say something that's offensive to me. For example, sometimes I'll scan the item, tell the person the total, and because it's the Huddle and overpriced, they will say something like "Jesus." Only, obviously it's in a "taking the Lord's name in vain" kind of way. And it really gets to me when I hear that, just like when I hear that other word I hate (which many people seem unable to go a sentence without saying). In that context I usually just don't say anything or laugh it off and say "I know," because the Huddle is overpriced. But inside I'm thinking "Anyone who goes here should know that it's overpriced, and it's really not worth taking the Lord's name in vain because of that." I don't ever say anything to anyone, though. I don't even ask people not to curse around me unless I know them. It just seems weird. But maybe I should. Maybe people need to be made aware that some people who they're around don't appreciate that kind of language, and maybe they should be thinking twice about who might hear them before saying all manner of offensive language. But that also seems a bit presumptuous on
my part, I guess, assuming it might offend anyone else but me. Eh I don't know. I guess to an extent, too, I want to wait until I'm semi-friends with someone before I let them in on the secret of how boring and uptight and old-ladyish I am about some things. Does that fall under prudishness too, the language thing? Probably. Eh whatever. I'll do what I do about everything: Ponder it for awhile, and then sort of just...forget about it. I really do do that about everything -- books/movies/CDs/other things I want to buy, things I consider doing, etc. Somehow I don't think that'll be the case with a puppy though. I don't think I can just push that one down and forget about it. Because have I mentioned that I want a puppy?
Speaking of puppies (anyone who reads this, and all my friends here, are so gonna get sick of that by like tomorrow), today's daily puppy is so cute. Especially considering it's a Chihuahua. Yes, it's a Chihuahua mix, so that's why. Because in general? I dislike them immensely. Man I want a puppy. Ugh.
Um, tomorrow is my last Thursday of class EVER. And Friday? The last Friday of class. Ever. How bizarre is that? Sorry, you'll have to forgive me these next few weeks as I realize just how...final this all is. Yeah, who knows, maybe one day I'll go to grad school. But it won't be the same. It's all a new experience for me, this leaving "the nest" so to speak (even though I'm going right back to the nest I left four years ago, just in a slightly different capacity). Hm. Anyway. I am quite glad that I have a job already. And a job that, although I'm pretty sure I might not know what I'm doing for awhile to say the least, I think I might really really like. At least in an environment I certainly can't complain about. I'm so excited about that. Having a real paycheck! Having set hours! And weekends off! Hopefully by my birthday I'll have my Visa card paid off. (Up until last September or so, I had always paid off my credit cards in full each month, because I could. But not having a job that summer sort of threw that out the window, and since then I've just accumulated debt on there so that now it's somewhere more than $1,000, what with buying books and toiletries and football tickets and such on it. I've had to settle for making somewhat more than minimum payments, but nowhere near full payments.) I can't wait to have that balance be at zero again. Man that'll be nice. And maybe eventually I'll save enough to buy myself a car. Might take awhile, but I'm looking forward to having a car that's my own (unless my dad just feels like giving me one of the cars we have. If he did that though he'd probably just give me the Oldsmobile I drove through high school, and up to last summer whenever I was home, which is sort of turning into a junker I think. Or I'm just spoiled by driving the much newer Jeep that I have out here. Or maybe both).
I'm excited. I just spent money. Ok, I'm not so excited about that (and wow! I found something I wanted to buy, and I actually bought it instead of thinking about it for awhile and then sort of forgetting about it!), but I'm excited about what I spent the money on. Two books that will hopefully help me in the next phase of my life. One of them is a book about marketing so that I know at least something when I start my job (I still can't believe I actually have a job. It's ridiculous, and also awesome). I'm excited to know something. I want to do really well at this job. Really, really well. Amazingly well. So I'm taking the first step (aside from the websites my new employer sent me to help me get my feet wet, which right now are sort of overwhelming because I'm absolutely new at all of this and am having a hard time just going to a website and understanding any of it). And I'm excited. So excited. This job could be great, I just need to educate myself. Man I'm excited about it. And nervous. Because I don't know ANYTHING about marketing. Haha. Fun. Anyway, the other book? Let's just say it involves something I'm sort of obsessed about. (Can anyone guess what?) I figure it'll be useful eventually...even though I think it'll definitely come into use sooner than later. Might as well start now. Because I want to do that right, too.
Aaaaand...now it's time to hit "post" before I think of some other boring inconsequential thing to tell the internet. All three of you. Haha. (Oh the weather lately? Unbelievably lovely. It's been so nice. I love it. Today was even hot. So amazing how quickly it goes from annoyingly almost-but-not-quite warm to amazingly warm and even hot! Yay! Until it gets too hot...hehe.)
Also: I had a dream last night in which I had a horse. Only it was a foal, I'm pretty sure. Or a colt. Whatever. (Those are both baby horses, right? Male and female?) It was quite small, more like...a dog. Ha. I wonder why on earth I'd dream about that? Seriously, though, it's sort of become an all-consuming thought for me. Getting a puppy. It's all I can think about. And I don't even know if it'll happen, given my work schedule and such. (And the fact that my parents haven't given me the green light yet, but I know that'll change sooner or later.) I really really hope I can make it work, because man. That'll be disappointing as all get-out. I hate not having animals in my life. I went for a walk tonight around the two lakes (73 degree weather at 8pm: awesome), and kept seeing the ducks and geese and whatnot, and man. I just love animals. And I just want a dog. I kept thinking how nice it would have been to be walking a dog tonight. Obviously that wasn't going to be the case either way, but still. I want to be able to go on walks with a dog this summer, instead of by myself. Sigh.
Tomorrow I have a history presentation. I don't think I've had to do a presentation of any sort since sophomore year. And I've enjoyed it. Presentations and Susie just don't mix well. Luckily, ours is pretty low-key (it's a group thing, three of us), and I don't really have to worry much anyway because it's pass/fail, which is wonderful.
Know what's weird? In less than a month, I'll be home, and I'll be home for good. I'll finally live in one state and one state only again. It's been so long since I've done that. It'll be weird. Really weird. But good. College, fun as it may be, isn't the healthiest environment in many ways. But that's ok, because it's a stage that's good to experience, I think. But I am looking forward to steadiness and whatnot. Experiencing all the seasons at home again. All the stuff I did for 15 years before I came here (obviously not counting the three years at the beginning of my life where I lived in Massachusetts). Hm. Anyway. It'd be nice if I could manage to get my room cleaned up. Because right now? It's not so much. I have a problem with the clothes thing. I don't have a dresser (just a wardrobe), and my closet's basically unusable right now (it's always been more of a storage thing than a clothes-hanger-upper thing, anyway). So...I need to do something about that. Maybe I can get the desk out of there. I don't even know why I have a desk in my bedroom. I don't think I've ever used it for anything but another surface on which to collect my various packratted trinkets. (In, on, and around.) Maybe if I get that out of there, I can fit a dresser. Because I really do need a dresser. A few drawers, at least. Man it's going to be a project getting that room cleaned up. I hope I can muster enough strength to throw out all the many items, the plethora of junk I've accumulated throughout my 22 years. Old schoolwork being a big part (especially a big part of the stuff accumulated in, on, and around my desk). Don't know why I can't let go of that stuff, but I know it'll be immensely good for me. So. Yes. Anyway.
Also great about being home? Regular chiropractic care again. My back is killing me this semester. Lately especially. Not sure why it's been so bad this semester, but I've just been an unhealthy mess lately, so I guess it's just one more thing. My lower back literally aches to see my chiropractor again. Haha. Get it? I'm so funny, people.
You know, occasionally when I'm working I hear people talking (while I'm ringing them up or whatever), and they'll say something that's offensive to me. For example, sometimes I'll scan the item, tell the person the total, and because it's the Huddle and overpriced, they will say something like "Jesus." Only, obviously it's in a "taking the Lord's name in vain" kind of way. And it really gets to me when I hear that, just like when I hear that other word I hate (which many people seem unable to go a sentence without saying). In that context I usually just don't say anything or laugh it off and say "I know," because the Huddle is overpriced. But inside I'm thinking "Anyone who goes here should know that it's overpriced, and it's really not worth taking the Lord's name in vain because of that." I don't ever say anything to anyone, though. I don't even ask people not to curse around me unless I know them. It just seems weird. But maybe I should. Maybe people need to be made aware that some people who they're around don't appreciate that kind of language, and maybe they should be thinking twice about who might hear them before saying all manner of offensive language. But that also seems a bit presumptuous on
my part, I guess, assuming it might offend anyone else but me. Eh I don't know. I guess to an extent, too, I want to wait until I'm semi-friends with someone before I let them in on the secret of how boring and uptight and old-ladyish I am about some things. Does that fall under prudishness too, the language thing? Probably. Eh whatever. I'll do what I do about everything: Ponder it for awhile, and then sort of just...forget about it. I really do do that about everything -- books/movies/CDs/other things I want to buy, things I consider doing, etc. Somehow I don't think that'll be the case with a puppy though. I don't think I can just push that one down and forget about it. Because have I mentioned that I want a puppy?
Speaking of puppies (anyone who reads this, and all my friends here, are so gonna get sick of that by like tomorrow), today's daily puppy is so cute. Especially considering it's a Chihuahua. Yes, it's a Chihuahua mix, so that's why. Because in general? I dislike them immensely. Man I want a puppy. Ugh.
Um, tomorrow is my last Thursday of class EVER. And Friday? The last Friday of class. Ever. How bizarre is that? Sorry, you'll have to forgive me these next few weeks as I realize just how...final this all is. Yeah, who knows, maybe one day I'll go to grad school. But it won't be the same. It's all a new experience for me, this leaving "the nest" so to speak (even though I'm going right back to the nest I left four years ago, just in a slightly different capacity). Hm. Anyway. I am quite glad that I have a job already. And a job that, although I'm pretty sure I might not know what I'm doing for awhile to say the least, I think I might really really like. At least in an environment I certainly can't complain about. I'm so excited about that. Having a real paycheck! Having set hours! And weekends off! Hopefully by my birthday I'll have my Visa card paid off. (Up until last September or so, I had always paid off my credit cards in full each month, because I could. But not having a job that summer sort of threw that out the window, and since then I've just accumulated debt on there so that now it's somewhere more than $1,000, what with buying books and toiletries and football tickets and such on it. I've had to settle for making somewhat more than minimum payments, but nowhere near full payments.) I can't wait to have that balance be at zero again. Man that'll be nice. And maybe eventually I'll save enough to buy myself a car. Might take awhile, but I'm looking forward to having a car that's my own (unless my dad just feels like giving me one of the cars we have. If he did that though he'd probably just give me the Oldsmobile I drove through high school, and up to last summer whenever I was home, which is sort of turning into a junker I think. Or I'm just spoiled by driving the much newer Jeep that I have out here. Or maybe both).
I'm excited. I just spent money. Ok, I'm not so excited about that (and wow! I found something I wanted to buy, and I actually bought it instead of thinking about it for awhile and then sort of forgetting about it!), but I'm excited about what I spent the money on. Two books that will hopefully help me in the next phase of my life. One of them is a book about marketing so that I know at least something when I start my job (I still can't believe I actually have a job. It's ridiculous, and also awesome). I'm excited to know something. I want to do really well at this job. Really, really well. Amazingly well. So I'm taking the first step (aside from the websites my new employer sent me to help me get my feet wet, which right now are sort of overwhelming because I'm absolutely new at all of this and am having a hard time just going to a website and understanding any of it). And I'm excited. So excited. This job could be great, I just need to educate myself. Man I'm excited about it. And nervous. Because I don't know ANYTHING about marketing. Haha. Fun. Anyway, the other book? Let's just say it involves something I'm sort of obsessed about. (Can anyone guess what?) I figure it'll be useful eventually...even though I think it'll definitely come into use sooner than later. Might as well start now. Because I want to do that right, too.
Aaaaand...now it's time to hit "post" before I think of some other boring inconsequential thing to tell the internet. All three of you. Haha. (Oh the weather lately? Unbelievably lovely. It's been so nice. I love it. Today was even hot. So amazing how quickly it goes from annoyingly almost-but-not-quite warm to amazingly warm and even hot! Yay! Until it gets too hot...hehe.)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Um, really?
Really, dude? It's really necessary to put your tiny stick of deodorant into a bag after you buy it? You can't just, I don't know, stick it in your pocket or something? It is Earth Day, after all.
And really, EVERYONE WHO CAME INTO THE HUDDLE TONIGHT? It's really necessary to go to me, when both sides are open, every single time? Especially when I have a friend I'm talking to for a minute, and the other side is open too? What is it about me that makes people come to my side all the time, any shift, it seems like? Or what makes it happen that most times when someone I know comes by and stops to talk for a minute, that's when we get busiest -- but when the other person working a shift with me has someone come say hi, the store is dead (or just alive enough that everyone who comes in comes to my side, because the other person is distracted by his/her friend. But maybe that doesn't matter and they'd come to me anyway).
Sometimes this job is aggravating, because sometimes people manage to do anything and everything to bother me. Although, I will admit that I let things get to me much more often than probably other people do. I suck like that; it's just the way I am. But really, how can it be anything but annoying when there's someone who's clearly going to come to my register, but takes his sweet time because he's finishing up a conversation with someone or something like that, and just like stands there for a minute or two, still holding whatever overpriced drink he's going to buy so I can't even scan it and wait. And then he finally turns to me so I can ring him up. Argh. Or the people who get to the register and I ring them up and then they start fiddling around in their bags or whatnot trying to find whatever form of payment they'll be using. I just like things to be efficient, and lots of the people who come buy things in the Huddle don't get through the line (or non-line if they're the only ones there) very efficiently. Lots of lag time. I don't like that. Which, I realize is my problem, so...I write about it in my blog.
Also: I just read someone's opinion of that new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Which is apparently a very funny movie. But it's not one that I'd ever go see (it's made by people who made things like Superbad and 40-Year-Old Virgin, etc, movies that would never in a million years appeal to me, no matter how "funny"). Anyway, someone said "Not something you'd take your mother or sister to, but a good date movie." Now, call me crazy, but if someone wouldn't take his mother or sister to see a movie, I don't think I'd want him to be taking me. But perhaps that's just me. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's just me.
And...now I'm done. Sorry about this one.
And really, EVERYONE WHO CAME INTO THE HUDDLE TONIGHT? It's really necessary to go to me, when both sides are open, every single time? Especially when I have a friend I'm talking to for a minute, and the other side is open too? What is it about me that makes people come to my side all the time, any shift, it seems like? Or what makes it happen that most times when someone I know comes by and stops to talk for a minute, that's when we get busiest -- but when the other person working a shift with me has someone come say hi, the store is dead (or just alive enough that everyone who comes in comes to my side, because the other person is distracted by his/her friend. But maybe that doesn't matter and they'd come to me anyway).
Sometimes this job is aggravating, because sometimes people manage to do anything and everything to bother me. Although, I will admit that I let things get to me much more often than probably other people do. I suck like that; it's just the way I am. But really, how can it be anything but annoying when there's someone who's clearly going to come to my register, but takes his sweet time because he's finishing up a conversation with someone or something like that, and just like stands there for a minute or two, still holding whatever overpriced drink he's going to buy so I can't even scan it and wait. And then he finally turns to me so I can ring him up. Argh. Or the people who get to the register and I ring them up and then they start fiddling around in their bags or whatnot trying to find whatever form of payment they'll be using. I just like things to be efficient, and lots of the people who come buy things in the Huddle don't get through the line (or non-line if they're the only ones there) very efficiently. Lots of lag time. I don't like that. Which, I realize is my problem, so...I write about it in my blog.
Also: I just read someone's opinion of that new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Which is apparently a very funny movie. But it's not one that I'd ever go see (it's made by people who made things like Superbad and 40-Year-Old Virgin, etc, movies that would never in a million years appeal to me, no matter how "funny"). Anyway, someone said "Not something you'd take your mother or sister to, but a good date movie." Now, call me crazy, but if someone wouldn't take his mother or sister to see a movie, I don't think I'd want him to be taking me. But perhaps that's just me. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's just me.
And...now I'm done. Sorry about this one.
I had good taste as a child
Pandas are so cute. I love them. I just happened to come across a show a bit ago about the life of a baby panda (the one in the first two pictures, actually). Man. They're so cute. And that face, it's such a Kebbie-face. Fluffy animals rock.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Who wants to buy Susie a new laptop?
So I think my poor pathetic laptop will make it through four more weeks. (I may just have jinxed it though.) But beyond that, man there are no guarantees. It's on its last legs. It's doing the less than stellar power cord connection thing again (it'll start getting blinky as the connection sort of loses its power, and I have to jiggle the cord a bit to get it fully plugged in again. Even though it's still just as plugged in as it was when it started blinking. Just...irritating). And it's been doing the insanely slow thing all the time lately. I tried uploading some pictures to Facebook last night (which I've done a total of two times, and it was all in one sitting I just had to separate it into two albums), and after two or more hours, I think maybe ten (and maybe not even that) pictures of the 60 I had picked to upload had managed to finish. I should have scrapped it when I realized it was being slow and stupid again, but I didn't, and ugh. I ended up just control-alt-deleting so I could shut down my Firefox (when that slowness happens, it's at 100% CPU, and much of that is eaten by Firefox. And then when I close Firefox, it goes back down to single digit % CPU). Which of course meant I didn't even get to finalize the pictures that had managed to upload. So it's just frustrating. It's getting to where I can't do anything on my computer. I don't know why it's doing this, or what's causing it, and I wish I could figure it out. I just don't know what to do or look for, though.
I really want to get rid of this thing. Sort of. I mean, I know it'll happen sooner or later, because computers don't last forever and this one's almost four years old, which is really old in computer-land. It will sort of suck having to transfer everything though...although my friend did it pretty easily back in December, I guess, when I had to get a new hard drive. He took everything and put it on a CD...or maybe his Ipod...I forget. But yeah. Anyway. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. And who knows when that'll be, because did you know that laptops cost money? Hm, know what just occurred to me? Maybe, just maybe, by some miracle, I can make this thing last until Thanksgiving. And then I can get a laptop on a doorbuster sale or something. But that's seven months from now. That's a long time to expect a dying 4-year-old computer to last. But who knows, maybe I'll get lucky or something.
Or maybe my laptop will die during finals week. Which happens to be two weeks away. Holy schmoly. We have three full weeks left, including this week, before we graduate. Three. Weeks. Oh wait that's not right. Not including this week it's three. So it's four weeks. That's not quite as scary. Geez, I'm gonna miss people so badly. Argh. Ok. Boo computer, that's what's important right now.
I really want to get rid of this thing. Sort of. I mean, I know it'll happen sooner or later, because computers don't last forever and this one's almost four years old, which is really old in computer-land. It will sort of suck having to transfer everything though...although my friend did it pretty easily back in December, I guess, when I had to get a new hard drive. He took everything and put it on a CD...or maybe his Ipod...I forget. But yeah. Anyway. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. And who knows when that'll be, because did you know that laptops cost money? Hm, know what just occurred to me? Maybe, just maybe, by some miracle, I can make this thing last until Thanksgiving. And then I can get a laptop on a doorbuster sale or something. But that's seven months from now. That's a long time to expect a dying 4-year-old computer to last. But who knows, maybe I'll get lucky or something.
Or maybe my laptop will die during finals week. Which happens to be two weeks away. Holy schmoly. We have three full weeks left, including this week, before we graduate. Three. Weeks. Oh wait that's not right. Not including this week it's three. So it's four weeks. That's not quite as scary. Geez, I'm gonna miss people so badly. Argh. Ok. Boo computer, that's what's important right now.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Shepherd One
I didn't get a chance to watch the Mass in DC on Thursday, but I am currently watching the one at Yankee Stadium. I was watching it on EWTN (although Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC were showing it as well), and at first they were commentating while the Pope came in and such. And then they stopped talking and just let us hear the music and all during the opening procession, and know what the song was? "All Creatures of Our God and King." Just about my favorite church song. One of them, anyway. From what I heard (and had heard previous to it, from the list of songs that was released) the music at the DC Mass was less than stellar. If you're more of a traditional-Mass type, at least, which I happen to be. (And, I might add, so is the Pope himself.) But this Mass was lovely. And the homily was pretty good too. Although, admittedly, I did sort of doze off during it (he has a very nice, soothing voice and an awesome accent), but then I re-read it online. Our Pope is really, truly amazing, and the Church is so blessed to have had him. Hopefully we'll have him as our leader for a good number more years. Man I really want to see him in person sometime. I think having him come here helped show a side of him that a lot of people really didn't see before, or hadn't paid attention to. I didn't need any convincing to like him, but I like him even more now. So awesome. I wish I had seen him sometime this past week. Like at the youth rally thing. That sounds like it was amazing. Or I wish I were going to World Youth Day. Although I don't really have any desire to go to Australia, it'd be cool to attend. Too bad I was only like seven or eight when it was held in Denver. That would have been awesome. Ah well. Maybe someday I'll get to do/participate in/see something cool like that.
Exhausting
Yesterday was very tiring for me. It was the annual Blue & Gold game here, which is basically just a scrimmage in public which the university uses to get some more cash (people actually pay $12, or $15 at the door, to attend. Not students, luckily, but man. And I'd say they get the stadium maybe 1/3rd or more full). Generally it's pretty boring, and even for someone who loves football like I do, it's hard to pay attention. I'm sure there are lots more people there who actually do watch it closely and with interest, but I'm just not one of them. Anyway, my friends and I tailgated before the game. For three hours. Thankfully we didn't get up at 8:30 as certain people were saying we should (it was closer to 10, which was still too early for me), but we were still at the tailgate for like three hours before we went to the game. And that's a long time to stand around. Especially for someone like me, who doesn't drink or like beer. And especially because I only knew one or two of the people there (maybe a few more, sort of, but only sort of). So...it was just a lot for me. And my back's been bothering me lately if I stand for really long periods of time. And I was tired (I actually went to the Backer on Friday night, which I've only done a few times this semester. That might have been only my third trip, actually. It was fun, surprisingly, because the past few times I've gone it's been less fun and more "why did I ever come", but eh. In retrospect...I don't know).
After the game my friends wanted to tailgate more. I wanted to go sleep. My stuff was over at Katherine's apartment, because I had slept there Friday night, and I had even forgotten to bring my keys with me to the game so I couldn't even go back to my room. Bethany and I hung around for a little more than an hour after the game, and then we went to the dining hall for dinner. Anyway, it was just a long day. And I realized that half the reason it was so tiring (aside from the not getting enough sleep the night before and such, half the reason I don't like going to the Backer anymore) was because I was around so many people. And it's people I don't seem to have a great deal in common with, and don't really want to be around for long periods of time. I don't know. Maybe it's just something with me, but sometimes I can't stand being around people my age or within a few years of my age. No, you know what it is? People in general, and I'm discriminating especially against people my own age (give or take five or ten years), just don't care about how they appear to other people anymore, especially in what they say and do. When I meet someone new or something, I try to make sure not to say things that might be offensive. I mean, I don't generally curse as it is, so I guess it's not that hard for me. But I don't get how people just don't care when they're around other people. They'll say anything and use certain choice words any number of times (as an adjective, a adverb, verb, exclamation -- you get the point). As someone who has rather sensitive ears when it comes to certain types of language, this really bugs me. My friends know that I dislike it, and they try to censor themselves when they're around me.
For some reason this especially bothers me when guys do it. I guess I seem to have this expectation that I didn't realize where I think guys should realize when they're not in a "guys-only" zone and should temper their language and behavior appropriately. Maybe this isn't a reasonable expectation when in college because it seems that a lot of college-aged girls don't really care. But I do, and I don't enjoy being around crass people. Which, unfortunately, seems to include a large number of guys my age. It's just exhausting trying to filter it all out and ignore it. I hate that I have to do that, but if I don't want to get used to it, that's the way it is for now. Pretty soon I'll be out of this environment and hopefully not around so many people who cause this problem for me. I most certainly don't anticipate it to be a problem where I'll be working (hey! I have a job!), and since I'll be bumming it at home, no worries there. And hopefully I'll be able to get a good group of friends who maybe won't exhibit certain characteristics of many acquaintances (and non-acquaintances) who I'm around all the time here.
Anyway. This isn't to say I think I have a bad group of friends. I love my friends. I guess it's just...their friends that I sort of have problems with on occasion. But usually I'm not around their friends very often. Yesterday just happened to be a whole lot of it. And a whole lot of people in general, which in itself exhausts me, being the introvert that I am. Especially when I'm in a setting which isn't terribly comfortable. Lots of people while at one of my friends' apartments isn't as bad as lots of people at a tailgate in the parking lot. It's just been a people-filled weekend, and that doesn't do a lot for me. (And I realize that going to the Backer doesn't make a whole lot of sense when this is the case for me. Truth be told, the Backer isn't the best place for me. I guess the times I do have fun there, I'm with enough people to forget about the other people there. Or something. I don't really know. But I do feel sort of...hypocritical? maybe, when I go to the Backer and have a good time. Because looking back on it, it's not usually a good time as I would prefer to have. But I guess it is what it is. And after four weeks from today, I won't be doing that anymore anyway.)
Well. Whatever. Not sure what is the point of this post. It's just been an exhausting weekend. Bleh. And tonight I have to meet with the two girls I'm doing a history presentation with. Our paper topics are semi-related, but it's going to be interesting trying to synthesize three different papers into one presentation. I have to come up with five or so factoids from mine...I guess I can manage that by 7 tonight. I hope we're getting graded individually, because I'm definitely not going to be trying terribly hard (I'm doing this pass/fail, and I don't really care, but they're taking it for grades). I guess it'd be hard not to grade individually based on the way we're doing it, and it's not like each person is going to be able to say much about the other people's papers, the ones we're presenting with. I can't see these presentations as anything but sort of separate mini-presentations within group presentations. Oh well. Whatever.
After the game my friends wanted to tailgate more. I wanted to go sleep. My stuff was over at Katherine's apartment, because I had slept there Friday night, and I had even forgotten to bring my keys with me to the game so I couldn't even go back to my room. Bethany and I hung around for a little more than an hour after the game, and then we went to the dining hall for dinner. Anyway, it was just a long day. And I realized that half the reason it was so tiring (aside from the not getting enough sleep the night before and such, half the reason I don't like going to the Backer anymore) was because I was around so many people. And it's people I don't seem to have a great deal in common with, and don't really want to be around for long periods of time. I don't know. Maybe it's just something with me, but sometimes I can't stand being around people my age or within a few years of my age. No, you know what it is? People in general, and I'm discriminating especially against people my own age (give or take five or ten years), just don't care about how they appear to other people anymore, especially in what they say and do. When I meet someone new or something, I try to make sure not to say things that might be offensive. I mean, I don't generally curse as it is, so I guess it's not that hard for me. But I don't get how people just don't care when they're around other people. They'll say anything and use certain choice words any number of times (as an adjective, a adverb, verb, exclamation -- you get the point). As someone who has rather sensitive ears when it comes to certain types of language, this really bugs me. My friends know that I dislike it, and they try to censor themselves when they're around me.
For some reason this especially bothers me when guys do it. I guess I seem to have this expectation that I didn't realize where I think guys should realize when they're not in a "guys-only" zone and should temper their language and behavior appropriately. Maybe this isn't a reasonable expectation when in college because it seems that a lot of college-aged girls don't really care. But I do, and I don't enjoy being around crass people. Which, unfortunately, seems to include a large number of guys my age. It's just exhausting trying to filter it all out and ignore it. I hate that I have to do that, but if I don't want to get used to it, that's the way it is for now. Pretty soon I'll be out of this environment and hopefully not around so many people who cause this problem for me. I most certainly don't anticipate it to be a problem where I'll be working (hey! I have a job!), and since I'll be bumming it at home, no worries there. And hopefully I'll be able to get a good group of friends who maybe won't exhibit certain characteristics of many acquaintances (and non-acquaintances) who I'm around all the time here.
Anyway. This isn't to say I think I have a bad group of friends. I love my friends. I guess it's just...their friends that I sort of have problems with on occasion. But usually I'm not around their friends very often. Yesterday just happened to be a whole lot of it. And a whole lot of people in general, which in itself exhausts me, being the introvert that I am. Especially when I'm in a setting which isn't terribly comfortable. Lots of people while at one of my friends' apartments isn't as bad as lots of people at a tailgate in the parking lot. It's just been a people-filled weekend, and that doesn't do a lot for me. (And I realize that going to the Backer doesn't make a whole lot of sense when this is the case for me. Truth be told, the Backer isn't the best place for me. I guess the times I do have fun there, I'm with enough people to forget about the other people there. Or something. I don't really know. But I do feel sort of...hypocritical? maybe, when I go to the Backer and have a good time. Because looking back on it, it's not usually a good time as I would prefer to have. But I guess it is what it is. And after four weeks from today, I won't be doing that anymore anyway.)
Well. Whatever. Not sure what is the point of this post. It's just been an exhausting weekend. Bleh. And tonight I have to meet with the two girls I'm doing a history presentation with. Our paper topics are semi-related, but it's going to be interesting trying to synthesize three different papers into one presentation. I have to come up with five or so factoids from mine...I guess I can manage that by 7 tonight. I hope we're getting graded individually, because I'm definitely not going to be trying terribly hard (I'm doing this pass/fail, and I don't really care, but they're taking it for grades). I guess it'd be hard not to grade individually based on the way we're doing it, and it's not like each person is going to be able to say much about the other people's papers, the ones we're presenting with. I can't see these presentations as anything but sort of separate mini-presentations within group presentations. Oh well. Whatever.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Randomocity
For some reason I was just thinking about this, but you know what one of the weirdest things about being in the hospital was? (Back in November, when I was admitted and all that fun stuff.) Being wheeled around in my hospital bed. There's just something odd about moving while lying down and having nothing to do with the movement. It's weird.
Also, man I wish I were better at guitar. I'm not very good yet at doing things like bar chords or even full chords (my fingers don't want to listen and go where they're supposed to, and they end up hitting other strings while trying to hold down certain notes, which ruins the sound), and I'm not good at moving up and down the frets with ease. But I guess that takes more practice than just a semester of once a week, 50 minute classes. (And no, I haven't practiced on my own as often as I probably should.) But it is exciting to know that I at least have the basics, and maybe one day I'll get better. Know what else? Holding a guitar makes me feel so much cooler than I actually am. Maybe I'd be a little cooler if I could actually, you know, play it, but whatever. (It is hard getting used to having a slightly different fingering system to get used to compared to that of the violin, which is what I'm used to and comfortable with. Why don't I pull out my violin more often? I don't know. I suck, that's why, I guess.)
Thirdly, apparently there was an earthquake in the midwest region last night. Felt in Chicago and Cincinnati and elsewhere, but I'm not sure if anyone here felt it. It was at like 4:30 this morning, and...I was awake at that time. But I didn't feel it. How often do I, a Colorado girl, get the chance to feel an earthquake? (Obviously I wouldn't want to feel one that was very damage-inducing or anything.) Oh well.
Also, The Shirt gets unveiled today. I haven't yet decided if I should buy one or not. Today only, students can buy them for $11 (instead of their regular price of $15). Chances are I won't be back for a game next year, sadly, but it might still be nice to have the shirt. Maybe. Maybe I'll see what it looks like first. If it's horrible like sophomore year's, I won't waste the money. Hm. Decisions, decisions.
The high today? 77. Glorious. Makes me itch to go hiking. At home. (I don't think there's many places to go hiking in wonderful -- ha -- South Bend.) I hope this summer isn't a hot one. At least I know it'll be less humid than most places.
Also, man I wish I were better at guitar. I'm not very good yet at doing things like bar chords or even full chords (my fingers don't want to listen and go where they're supposed to, and they end up hitting other strings while trying to hold down certain notes, which ruins the sound), and I'm not good at moving up and down the frets with ease. But I guess that takes more practice than just a semester of once a week, 50 minute classes. (And no, I haven't practiced on my own as often as I probably should.) But it is exciting to know that I at least have the basics, and maybe one day I'll get better. Know what else? Holding a guitar makes me feel so much cooler than I actually am. Maybe I'd be a little cooler if I could actually, you know, play it, but whatever. (It is hard getting used to having a slightly different fingering system to get used to compared to that of the violin, which is what I'm used to and comfortable with. Why don't I pull out my violin more often? I don't know. I suck, that's why, I guess.)
Thirdly, apparently there was an earthquake in the midwest region last night. Felt in Chicago and Cincinnati and elsewhere, but I'm not sure if anyone here felt it. It was at like 4:30 this morning, and...I was awake at that time. But I didn't feel it. How often do I, a Colorado girl, get the chance to feel an earthquake? (Obviously I wouldn't want to feel one that was very damage-inducing or anything.) Oh well.
Also, The Shirt gets unveiled today. I haven't yet decided if I should buy one or not. Today only, students can buy them for $11 (instead of their regular price of $15). Chances are I won't be back for a game next year, sadly, but it might still be nice to have the shirt. Maybe. Maybe I'll see what it looks like first. If it's horrible like sophomore year's, I won't waste the money. Hm. Decisions, decisions.
The high today? 77. Glorious. Makes me itch to go hiking. At home. (I don't think there's many places to go hiking in wonderful -- ha -- South Bend.) I hope this summer isn't a hot one. At least I know it'll be less humid than most places.
So much goodness
You know what? Today just got even better after I finished that last post. I went to dinner with Caitlin, and because she had heard someone talking about it, we went to North where there was some sort of weird Hershey dinner. Hershey stuff everywhere. Chocolate themed food. (Seriously, chocolate chili. Disgusting? Probably. But I don't like chili anyway.) Toffee crusted chicken. Chocolate tacos? All sorts of weird stuff like that. AND a chocolate fountain! How exciting! Anyway. It was weird, and crowded, and loud, but sort of cool too. Whatever.
Then I went with her to TC (which involved us walking from North down to the lot south of the stadium, and we even were almost more than halfway to TC by the time Caitlin realized, what were we doing, she had driven today. So it made for more walking, but I for one didn't mind because did I mention that it was lovely today? Mmm. Anyway. We watched Jeopardy, which I hadn't watched in awhile for whatever reason. That wasn't too exciting, but yeah. Anyway. Eventually The Office came on, and it was awesome as usual, but sadly only half an hour. But that's ok. A bit later we went over to Legends where we watched a bit of the last episode of Late Night ND (a talk show/skit show that students do and it's aired on the ND channel, only accessible on the ND cable system). One of our friends is part of it, and it's his last show because he's a senior, so yeah. But except for Caitlin (and one of her friends), we all left after only a little bit because trivia was going to start in the restaurant part of Legends.
And trivia rocked. We got a good majority of the questions (except for one round where man we just didn't do well), and one of the questions was awesome. We had been saying that it'd be great if the questions were ones we'd know because of our majors (we being the five of us in our group), and I said there probably wouldn't be many questions that could be asked for my major (theology). And then I said, "Well, he could ask what CS Lewis' full name is, that'd be cool." And wouldn't you know it, a few rounds later, during the rapid round (which has more points to choose from and you have to answer all three questions at once instead of question, answer three separate times), the second question was "What does the CS stand for in CS Lewis?" And I sort of went a little crazy because it was unbelievable he had actually asked that when we had just been talking about it a bit earlier, but it was also awesome. I was excited, anyway. (Of course we got that one right. How sad would it have been if we hadn't? Haha. It's Clive Staples, in case you were wondering.) And I knew the final question too, but apparently so did lots of people (which politician was roommates with Tommy Lee Jones at Yale or wherever it was they went, and the answer is Al Gore). But anyway. We ended up getting second, two points behind first, so that was really exciting. Trivia is fun.
Oh and the Red Sox won tonight, which was nice to see after a less than stellar performance yesterday (although it seems that neither team's pitchers were doing very well yesterday. One of the highest scoring games in the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry, I think they said highest since like...I don't know, more than 50 years ago. 15-9. Sad to be on the losing end, but eh. Josh Beckett pitched tonight, so he's always pretty solid I think. Last night was Clay Buchholz, who I really wanted to do well (I think he's still pretty rookie-ish, started only a handful of games so far, wow he's only a year older than me. Anyway though he pitched a no-hitter last year in his second Major League start. So that's pretty cool), but who didn't so much...the Yankees scored three runs in the first inning...wasn't too pretty. But anyway. Balance was restored again tonight.
And it's still wonderful out. Weird how 60 degrees at night feels warmer than 60 degrees during the day. I wonder why that is. Probably just my perception.
Oh and it's funny the difference between two days. On Tuesday I wasn't too sad at the thought of leaving here. Walking back from Legends to Cavanaugh tonight it was so nice, so wonderful out, things are blooming, campus is looking pretty, I had a great night with friends, and I got a little sad thinking about leaving it all. Alas, it must happen. Change is necessary. (We talked about that a bit in CS Lewis today -- "further up and further in." It was good stuff. Mere Christianity is a pretty awesome book. Packs a punch, and it's not excessively long. Easy read, too.)
Sigh. I wish I could skip directed readings tomorrow. I don't even know if he'll be there. I was supposed to contact him as it got closer to tomorrow to see what time would work for him, because he wasn't sure (he has to take someone to the airport or something). So I emailed him today, meaning to do it last night when I remembered, but then forgot. Hadn't heard back from him by the end of the "working day" so I was going to call him, and then, of course, forgot until after it seemed too late. So...who knows. I'll just go at our regularly scheduled time, and hope he's there, I guess.
Speaking of that, I suppose I should write the paper I'm supposed to turn in tomorrow...haha. Man.
Then I went with her to TC (which involved us walking from North down to the lot south of the stadium, and we even were almost more than halfway to TC by the time Caitlin realized, what were we doing, she had driven today. So it made for more walking, but I for one didn't mind because did I mention that it was lovely today? Mmm. Anyway. We watched Jeopardy, which I hadn't watched in awhile for whatever reason. That wasn't too exciting, but yeah. Anyway. Eventually The Office came on, and it was awesome as usual, but sadly only half an hour. But that's ok. A bit later we went over to Legends where we watched a bit of the last episode of Late Night ND (a talk show/skit show that students do and it's aired on the ND channel, only accessible on the ND cable system). One of our friends is part of it, and it's his last show because he's a senior, so yeah. But except for Caitlin (and one of her friends), we all left after only a little bit because trivia was going to start in the restaurant part of Legends.
And trivia rocked. We got a good majority of the questions (except for one round where man we just didn't do well), and one of the questions was awesome. We had been saying that it'd be great if the questions were ones we'd know because of our majors (we being the five of us in our group), and I said there probably wouldn't be many questions that could be asked for my major (theology). And then I said, "Well, he could ask what CS Lewis' full name is, that'd be cool." And wouldn't you know it, a few rounds later, during the rapid round (which has more points to choose from and you have to answer all three questions at once instead of question, answer three separate times), the second question was "What does the CS stand for in CS Lewis?" And I sort of went a little crazy because it was unbelievable he had actually asked that when we had just been talking about it a bit earlier, but it was also awesome. I was excited, anyway. (Of course we got that one right. How sad would it have been if we hadn't? Haha. It's Clive Staples, in case you were wondering.) And I knew the final question too, but apparently so did lots of people (which politician was roommates with Tommy Lee Jones at Yale or wherever it was they went, and the answer is Al Gore). But anyway. We ended up getting second, two points behind first, so that was really exciting. Trivia is fun.
Oh and the Red Sox won tonight, which was nice to see after a less than stellar performance yesterday (although it seems that neither team's pitchers were doing very well yesterday. One of the highest scoring games in the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry, I think they said highest since like...I don't know, more than 50 years ago. 15-9. Sad to be on the losing end, but eh. Josh Beckett pitched tonight, so he's always pretty solid I think. Last night was Clay Buchholz, who I really wanted to do well (I think he's still pretty rookie-ish, started only a handful of games so far, wow he's only a year older than me. Anyway though he pitched a no-hitter last year in his second Major League start. So that's pretty cool), but who didn't so much...the Yankees scored three runs in the first inning...wasn't too pretty. But anyway. Balance was restored again tonight.
And it's still wonderful out. Weird how 60 degrees at night feels warmer than 60 degrees during the day. I wonder why that is. Probably just my perception.
Oh and it's funny the difference between two days. On Tuesday I wasn't too sad at the thought of leaving here. Walking back from Legends to Cavanaugh tonight it was so nice, so wonderful out, things are blooming, campus is looking pretty, I had a great night with friends, and I got a little sad thinking about leaving it all. Alas, it must happen. Change is necessary. (We talked about that a bit in CS Lewis today -- "further up and further in." It was good stuff. Mere Christianity is a pretty awesome book. Packs a punch, and it's not excessively long. Easy read, too.)
Sigh. I wish I could skip directed readings tomorrow. I don't even know if he'll be there. I was supposed to contact him as it got closer to tomorrow to see what time would work for him, because he wasn't sure (he has to take someone to the airport or something). So I emailed him today, meaning to do it last night when I remembered, but then forgot. Hadn't heard back from him by the end of the "working day" so I was going to call him, and then, of course, forgot until after it seemed too late. So...who knows. I'll just go at our regularly scheduled time, and hope he's there, I guess.
Speaking of that, I suppose I should write the paper I'm supposed to turn in tomorrow...haha. Man.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Best. Day. Ever.
All right, this is an exaggeration. But this morning while taking a shower, I decided to prepare for bare legs today. (Yes, this means leg-shaving. No, I don't do this every day, perhaps this means I'm defective as a girl. It's just too much work if no one's going to see it anyway. Sorry if that's TMI...) Aside from skirts at church on Sundays (and even those have been scarce for me this semester, which has been weird, but my lack of good cold/wet weather shoes has made me give up and go for nice pants more often than skirts), I haven't worn anything but jeans for months. And months and months. And after walking around slightly warm yesterday because I dressed for colder weather than was reality, I decided that I wasn't going to do the same today. So today I broke out the capris. I don't wear shorts, just fyi, so it's capris or skirts if I don't want to be confined by jeans. And it was awesome. Capris with my $2.50 a pair flip flops which give me blisters every time. I went with a light 3/4 length sleeve shirt, one of my favorites (and tank underneath), because it still gets cold indoors. But I wore a jacket at first today because I didn't know how it'd really feel outside. And for the first time since possibly October, I was hot outside!
It's so lovely right now. No jacket necessary. Beautiful. Things are blooming! Really blooming! Not just those trees I noticed the other night (last night?), but other trees, and bushes, and things! And suddenly it seems like someone added an extra thousand students to campus because people are actually spending time outside! (This is only exciting to me because it means it's nice out; otherwise, I'm not a fan because I think it makes me feel...crowded, maybe? I'm not sure.) But oh, how lovely. Lovely, lovely.
Things are just going well. My mom got to see the Pope today at the DC Mass, which is uber-exciting. Things are going well on the job front (wow, who'd have thought I would ever say that?). There's a month left (tomorrow marks exactly one month until I am no longer an undergrad. Or a college student. Or...eek...a student). And I still have puppies on the brain, which is both a positive and negative. But mostly positive because they're so much fun to think about. And look at. And I know that someday I'll get to have one in my life, even if it's not as soon as I would like (which is, like, tomorrow. Haha).
And, it's Thursday! Which means The Office and Trivia! Woohoo! (Next week Lost comes back!) How many exclamation points can I put in this post!
Tomorrow, expect a depressed woe-is-me post about...something I'll manage to blow up into a big deal. Haha. Just kidding. Probably. ;-)
Mmm April.
It's so lovely right now. No jacket necessary. Beautiful. Things are blooming! Really blooming! Not just those trees I noticed the other night (last night?), but other trees, and bushes, and things! And suddenly it seems like someone added an extra thousand students to campus because people are actually spending time outside! (This is only exciting to me because it means it's nice out; otherwise, I'm not a fan because I think it makes me feel...crowded, maybe? I'm not sure.) But oh, how lovely. Lovely, lovely.
Things are just going well. My mom got to see the Pope today at the DC Mass, which is uber-exciting. Things are going well on the job front (wow, who'd have thought I would ever say that?). There's a month left (tomorrow marks exactly one month until I am no longer an undergrad. Or a college student. Or...eek...a student). And I still have puppies on the brain, which is both a positive and negative. But mostly positive because they're so much fun to think about. And look at. And I know that someday I'll get to have one in my life, even if it's not as soon as I would like (which is, like, tomorrow. Haha).
And, it's Thursday! Which means The Office and Trivia! Woohoo! (Next week Lost comes back!) How many exclamation points can I put in this post!
Tomorrow, expect a depressed woe-is-me post about...something I'll manage to blow up into a big deal. Haha. Just kidding. Probably. ;-)
Mmm April.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Don't click on that link. It might cause a cuteness overload.
I wrote a post yesterday which was rather whiny. I was going to publish it, but somehow just didn't hit the button before I turned off my computer last night (this happens fairly frequently). It's probably best that I didn't. No one needs to hear how sick of people I was yesterday. And boy was I. But I suppose the specific grievances I had are best kept to myself. Things did improve after I got that yummy chocolate chip bagel with hazelnut (hazelnut!) cream cheese. I'm in love with that cream cheese, by the way. I didn't know it existed before Monday, and man. Soooo good. Too bad I never get Panera, and it's probably stupidly expensive, but mmm.
And today? Well, I woke up slightly annoyed (story of my life lately -- I think my body is sick of this bed) because remember the work they were doing on the dorm a few weeks ago? Or...more? Well, they're still doing it. But they had moved on from my section to other parts of the dorm, sides that don't really affect me. Or at least far enough away that I couldn't hear the noise. Except they're back. They're doing the side of the dorm opposite my window. That arm of the dorm. Which includes the side that faces my window. Which means lots of loud noise starting before I want to start. Bleh. Anyway. But then other than that today's been ok. I dressed like it was going to be 50 degrees or so outside, but I just checked the temperature, and it's -- are you ready? -- 69! And it feels like it too! How amazingly awesome is that? So exciting. And it looks like we may be in for more days like this. It's not an anomaly! Of course, Saturday (which is the annual Blue-Gold game), it's supposed to rain, of course. But still. Hopefully spring is officially here. And not a moment too soon.
We have two weeks left of school. Crazy. 4 more philo classes. 4 more history classes, 4 more CS Lewis classes. Weirdddddd.
Speaking of spring, I was walking past LaFortune tonight after dinner, and I noticed these two trees that are outside of the section where the Huddle is are starting to bloom! Like, the flowers are actually starting to come out of the buds! I'll hopefully get around to taking some pictures soon, because those trees are so pretty when they're flowering. Hopefully everything will start blooming like mad soon and I can take lots of pretty pictures of my last few weeks on campus. (How sad. And yet...not.) Last spring here. I do miss seeing spring at home though. There's this one section of...Palmer Park, maybe, right before it hits Union going east, and there are these rows of trees on both sides. They're so pretty in the spring, and I always loved driving that bit of road when they were blooming. It's the way I drove home from school in high school, so I got to see it a lot. For the week or two that it was pretty, at least. I haven't seen that in four years. I've driven on that road, obviously, but not in the spring. Mmm, spring.
Also...hm...I don't know. I asked my dad tonight, and he said my chances of him letting me get a dog are currently standing at 1 in 5. Up from zero in five, apparently (he said that's where it stood last month. 1 in 5 is this month. So....yeah). I know he's reluctant because he doesn't want to be the one having to take care of it. And stuff. I really want to discuss it with him, as I haven't really been able to yet, but he had to leave right after I asked him about it today. Maybe he's avoiding it. Who knows. But now I don't want to bring it up to him again because I don't want him to get annoyed with me. Sigh. I guess it's pointless to talk about right now, but I just...I guess I sort of want to know either way. Some of my reasons for wanting a dog so badly are slightly pathetic (built-in companion, etc), but it's a fact that dogs make people happier. At least, they make me happier. I know there are issues that need to be worked out before I'd be able to get one (making sure I'd be able to be home at the necessary times, etc, to feed it and such...which might be my biggest issue, maybe...oh man maybe this won't work. How do people with real jobs get dogs? I know they do. Sigh). Plus the start-up costs. Like, paying for one. I suppose that's an issue. I don't know how keen my dad would be on me using my graduation money to pay for a dog instead of, oh I don't know, paying off a teeny tiny portion of the plethora of loans I have? But...but...shouldn't graduation money maybe be used for something a bit more fun? I guess a dog probably won't last as long as my loans will...ha that's a depressing thought. I guess I need to stop thinking about this for now. Impossible, but whatever. (Especially impossible when people post links to things like dailypuppy.com, which, oh my goodness the cuteness! I can't even stand it. So bad for a girl trying not to want a puppy with every fiber of her being. Man, especially April 3. I'm sure there's 756 more just as cute, but I've only made it through a few days so far. Dude. That dog is cu-ute. And I don't even really like boxers.)
Sigh.
Well, time for other things. Like reading a book we have to read for history over the next three classes. A book which includes, wonderfully enough, a rather grotesque decapitation. In some detail. I didn't think I'd have to read novels, especially ones like that, in a history class. This isn't English, after all. Crap books like that are supposed to be reserved for English classes. Maybe I'm biased because I already didn't like the author based on another book of his I had to read. For an English class. Whatever. I'll probably just mainly use a summary website anyway. I'm taking it pass/fail, so whatever. I've given up on trying to do well this semester. Everything I do results in a B, somewhere in the range, no matter what. I guess I'm mostly ok with that.
Anyway. Yeah.
Oh and psh, duh, how could I forget to mention, happy birthday to Pope Benedict XVI! How I wish I were in DC with my mom right now, but alas, I am not. I'm so glad he's our pope though. Such a wonderful shepherd he is.
And today? Well, I woke up slightly annoyed (story of my life lately -- I think my body is sick of this bed) because remember the work they were doing on the dorm a few weeks ago? Or...more? Well, they're still doing it. But they had moved on from my section to other parts of the dorm, sides that don't really affect me. Or at least far enough away that I couldn't hear the noise. Except they're back. They're doing the side of the dorm opposite my window. That arm of the dorm. Which includes the side that faces my window. Which means lots of loud noise starting before I want to start. Bleh. Anyway. But then other than that today's been ok. I dressed like it was going to be 50 degrees or so outside, but I just checked the temperature, and it's -- are you ready? -- 69! And it feels like it too! How amazingly awesome is that? So exciting. And it looks like we may be in for more days like this. It's not an anomaly! Of course, Saturday (which is the annual Blue-Gold game), it's supposed to rain, of course. But still. Hopefully spring is officially here. And not a moment too soon.
We have two weeks left of school. Crazy. 4 more philo classes. 4 more history classes, 4 more CS Lewis classes. Weirdddddd.
Speaking of spring, I was walking past LaFortune tonight after dinner, and I noticed these two trees that are outside of the section where the Huddle is are starting to bloom! Like, the flowers are actually starting to come out of the buds! I'll hopefully get around to taking some pictures soon, because those trees are so pretty when they're flowering. Hopefully everything will start blooming like mad soon and I can take lots of pretty pictures of my last few weeks on campus. (How sad. And yet...not.) Last spring here. I do miss seeing spring at home though. There's this one section of...Palmer Park, maybe, right before it hits Union going east, and there are these rows of trees on both sides. They're so pretty in the spring, and I always loved driving that bit of road when they were blooming. It's the way I drove home from school in high school, so I got to see it a lot. For the week or two that it was pretty, at least. I haven't seen that in four years. I've driven on that road, obviously, but not in the spring. Mmm, spring.
Also...hm...I don't know. I asked my dad tonight, and he said my chances of him letting me get a dog are currently standing at 1 in 5. Up from zero in five, apparently (he said that's where it stood last month. 1 in 5 is this month. So....yeah). I know he's reluctant because he doesn't want to be the one having to take care of it. And stuff. I really want to discuss it with him, as I haven't really been able to yet, but he had to leave right after I asked him about it today. Maybe he's avoiding it. Who knows. But now I don't want to bring it up to him again because I don't want him to get annoyed with me. Sigh. I guess it's pointless to talk about right now, but I just...I guess I sort of want to know either way. Some of my reasons for wanting a dog so badly are slightly pathetic (built-in companion, etc), but it's a fact that dogs make people happier. At least, they make me happier. I know there are issues that need to be worked out before I'd be able to get one (making sure I'd be able to be home at the necessary times, etc, to feed it and such...which might be my biggest issue, maybe...oh man maybe this won't work. How do people with real jobs get dogs? I know they do. Sigh). Plus the start-up costs. Like, paying for one. I suppose that's an issue. I don't know how keen my dad would be on me using my graduation money to pay for a dog instead of, oh I don't know, paying off a teeny tiny portion of the plethora of loans I have? But...but...shouldn't graduation money maybe be used for something a bit more fun? I guess a dog probably won't last as long as my loans will...ha that's a depressing thought. I guess I need to stop thinking about this for now. Impossible, but whatever. (Especially impossible when people post links to things like dailypuppy.com, which, oh my goodness the cuteness! I can't even stand it. So bad for a girl trying not to want a puppy with every fiber of her being. Man, especially April 3. I'm sure there's 756 more just as cute, but I've only made it through a few days so far. Dude. That dog is cu-ute. And I don't even really like boxers.)
Sigh.
Well, time for other things. Like reading a book we have to read for history over the next three classes. A book which includes, wonderfully enough, a rather grotesque decapitation. In some detail. I didn't think I'd have to read novels, especially ones like that, in a history class. This isn't English, after all. Crap books like that are supposed to be reserved for English classes. Maybe I'm biased because I already didn't like the author based on another book of his I had to read. For an English class. Whatever. I'll probably just mainly use a summary website anyway. I'm taking it pass/fail, so whatever. I've given up on trying to do well this semester. Everything I do results in a B, somewhere in the range, no matter what. I guess I'm mostly ok with that.
Anyway. Yeah.
Oh and psh, duh, how could I forget to mention, happy birthday to Pope Benedict XVI! How I wish I were in DC with my mom right now, but alas, I am not. I'm so glad he's our pope though. Such a wonderful shepherd he is.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Addendum
Another great thing going on lately? The Red Sox. They've been on like the past three days, on real TV, that I can watch, and it's been awesome. Two Yankees games (both of which they won, including last night's pretty great game -- although the Yankees were threatening there towards the end) and tonight's Cleveland game. Tonight, they scored first, but then Cleveland scored four unanswered points. And then the Red Sox got it to 4-3, and then tied at 4-4, and then, ah, another Manny Ramirez home run when David Ortiz was on first, bringing the score to 6-4 at the top of the 9th. Then the Indians were at bat, and lovely Papelbon struck out all three, and game over. Mmm. Good stuff. And the Red Sox are on TV again on Wednesday night! I love it when I can watch their games. One day, some day, I'll see one in person, maybe.
(A not-so-cool thing is the fact that my laptop has decided not to let me watch any embedded videos anymore, nothing longer than like 30 seconds to a minute anyway, without going into overload mode and forcing me to shut down Firefox so I can stop using up 100% of the CPU or whatever it is. I can't watch videos on CNN.com or any other news website, I can't watch youtube videos in blogs or in posts on NDNation (but I can click on the video so the actual youtube page comes up with that video, and watch it there without any problems). I've tried it in Internet Explorer too, I'm pretty sure. Same deal. Occasionally something will pop up saying "Unresponsive script" and ask if I want to continue to wait for it or something, but I'm not sure if that's related. I have no idea why it's doing this, but it's been happening for a good...maybe two months now. It doesn't freeze, exactly, just makes everything go realllllllllllllllyyyyyyy slllllooooowwwwwlllllllyyyyyyyyyy. Irritating as all get-out. And because of it, I haven't been able to watch when Dawn Eden was on the Today Show, probably something like a month ago now. The only place it's online is on msnbc or whatever, and I can't get past a minute before everything goes all dead.)
(And then less than an hour after I wrote this, firefox went all slow and such again. Only not due to trying to watch a video. Just because. It's been doing that a lot lately, too. Just randomly. It's either something inside my computer, or something I don't have downloaded, or something I do, or who knows. I'm inclined to think that it's just my nearly four year old laptop limping along on its last legs. Sadly. But who knows.)
(A not-so-cool thing is the fact that my laptop has decided not to let me watch any embedded videos anymore, nothing longer than like 30 seconds to a minute anyway, without going into overload mode and forcing me to shut down Firefox so I can stop using up 100% of the CPU or whatever it is. I can't watch videos on CNN.com or any other news website, I can't watch youtube videos in blogs or in posts on NDNation (but I can click on the video so the actual youtube page comes up with that video, and watch it there without any problems). I've tried it in Internet Explorer too, I'm pretty sure. Same deal. Occasionally something will pop up saying "Unresponsive script" and ask if I want to continue to wait for it or something, but I'm not sure if that's related. I have no idea why it's doing this, but it's been happening for a good...maybe two months now. It doesn't freeze, exactly, just makes everything go realllllllllllllllyyyyyyy slllllooooowwwwwlllllllyyyyyyyyyy. Irritating as all get-out. And because of it, I haven't been able to watch when Dawn Eden was on the Today Show, probably something like a month ago now. The only place it's online is on msnbc or whatever, and I can't get past a minute before everything goes all dead.)
(And then less than an hour after I wrote this, firefox went all slow and such again. Only not due to trying to watch a video. Just because. It's been doing that a lot lately, too. Just randomly. It's either something inside my computer, or something I don't have downloaded, or something I do, or who knows. I'm inclined to think that it's just my nearly four year old laptop limping along on its last legs. Sadly. But who knows.)
See, I can get happy about things too
Yesterday was such a surprisingly good day and I have no idea why. Perhaps because it stopped snowing. Perhaps because I finished the Chronicles of Narnia, one of my goals for the past, well, many years (even though finishing a book, and especially a series of books, that you love is always somewhat sad in a way). Maybe it's because I was looking at the imdb page for Prince Caspian and am rather excited about it. I hope they do all the movies. I thought they did a pretty good job with Lion, Witch, Wardrobe as far as book-turned-movies goes. I don't know how they'll do with Prince Caspian yet, obviously, but I think it could turn out well. And I just saw that Eddie Izzard is doing the voice of Reepicheep. Eddie Izzard is somewhat hilarious, and has a great voice, so that's pretty cool. But it'd be cool if they did all the books into movies. Although they'd obviously have to find new people to play most of the characters in The Last Battle, because at least the kids who play the Pevensie children will be quite a bit too old by then, I think. Maybe not. I guess it is somewhat ambiguous in the book as to whether they're the same age or older or what (well, except for the old people like Professor Kirke). So yeah, I think it'd work if they brought back the same people. Everyone sort of seems to be mostly the same age, so it'd probably work. Maybe. Anyway though. I'm excited for that movie. It comes out Friday of Senior Week, so hopefully I can get some people to go see it with me. Maybe Gail and Tim, who are in the CS Lewis class with me.
Anyway. I don't know. All I know is, when I went to bed I was in an insanely good mood. Even though it was (as always) much later than I had wanted. But that's because I stayed up late doing homework! And oh how I love that my homework was reading The Last Battle. Anyway.
I'm also excited because, much as everyone says seniors should be (and are) scared of the "real world," I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to having a set schedule. (Assuming I get a job that has a set schedule, which I think I will.) And weekends off. And no homework to do at night! I mean, I guess it depends what I end up doing, but I can't imagine that I'd have much work to do -- if I do have some -- at nights and such. So I could do fun things. And knit. Without feeling like a slacker! And I could plan to do things on weekends, without being unsure what my schedule will be in two or three weeks. And I want to hike -- lots -- on the weekends this summer. I'm just looking forward to that next stage. I'm sure once the gleam of the newness of it all wears off, I'll get sick of it, or wish I could go back to my college days, or something, but I'm looking forward to all of it. Especially having money. I'm sure it won't be much, but it'll be something. And as I'm planning on living at home for awhile, I won't have to be spending it on rent and such. Yay for being a moocher! And with my parents' blessing, no less. And maybe, hopefully, oh man please, I'll be able to get a dog sooner than later. I long for a dog so very much. Even though I obviously wouldn't have one around right now anyway. Maybe the knowledge that I'll be going home to an animal-less house weirds me out. Either way, I really hope it can work out that I can get one much sooner than later.
Ok, so, confession. All of the above was written last night before I went to bed, but I knew I wouldn't post it until today so I wrote it as if it were all coming from today. I'm sneaky like that. But as luck would have it, by the time I actually fell asleep, I wasn't in such a good mood. Not terrible, but as I was lying there trying to fall asleep, my mind started wandering to camping, and trying to sleep in a tent, and our last camping expedition this past summer, when I got the worst sleep I had ever gotten while camping. Mostly because of Kebbie, who didn't really like being in a tent, and who had previously managed to escape the last time (I think it was the last time) we took her camping. The first night, I believe it was, she did this again. It might have been early early morning by that point, but I'm not sure. All I know is she managed to find a tiny hole in the zipper door big enough for her to nose through and get it bigger, and out she went. And while I realized it right away and was up in a flash getting my shoes on to go get her, I was still terrified for a second. We were in the woods. It was dark. Who knows, she could have seen a rabbit or something and gone after it before I got out there. Of course, once I stepped outside, she was just kind of milling around our campsite. She wouldn't go far. I put her on a leash and probably walked around with her for a little while. But last night I was just remembering that trip. I was willing to give up any chance of sleep just to make sure she didn't get out again. After that I kept her on the leash, with the leash handle on my arm. Anyway. She was my baby and I was so worried about losing her out there. So naturally, thinking about all this (which went through my head in all of five seconds) made me start to cry. And then I couldn't get to sleep so I had to resort, once again, to turning on whatever movie I had in my DVD player (Sound of Music this time) and turning the sleep timer on on my TV. Oh well. It happens.
The good news? It looks like it might get into the 60s this week! Of course, most of the days that are supposed to be in the 60s are also supposed to be cloudy and possibly rainy (including Saturday at the moment, which is the day of the Blue-Gold game), but right now I suppose I'll take what I can get.
The more I think about it (and I have been thinking about it), the more I wonder if the order in which I was originally trying to read the Chronicles of Narnia really caused me to be turned off from continuing. There's something that just fit so much better the way we read them in class, the way I was planning on reading them once I tried to start it again. I definitely think it's the better order, published order. But that's just me. And my professor, who I happen to think is pretty cool.
Ok I've lost any semblance of a common thread in this thing. Actually, I don't really think there was one to start out with. My good mood maybe? Hm. Either way, guess it's time to end. (Oh last thing I'll say -- I'm excited tomorrow's Tuesday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are just better than Mondays and Wednesdays, partly because they include CS Lewis, partly because my day can start later, and...yeah. And tomorrow we're getting bagels from Panera at our section meeting, which we have weekly but I haven't gone to since probably October. It's a senior thing. Seniors never tend to go to section meetings. They're just a pain and a pointless waste of time. But we have section funds, and I guess my RA decided to spend it on that. So I looked at Panera's website, and they have chocolate chip bagels (mmm so healthy) and they have hazelnut cream cheese. So, clearly, I have to get anything hazelnut flavored. So I'm excited for that. And Tuesdays are also The Office days on TBS at 10 and 10:30 pm. The only problem is section meeting is at 10...but yeah. Anyway. Ok now I'm done.)
Anyway. I don't know. All I know is, when I went to bed I was in an insanely good mood. Even though it was (as always) much later than I had wanted. But that's because I stayed up late doing homework! And oh how I love that my homework was reading The Last Battle. Anyway.
I'm also excited because, much as everyone says seniors should be (and are) scared of the "real world," I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to having a set schedule. (Assuming I get a job that has a set schedule, which I think I will.) And weekends off. And no homework to do at night! I mean, I guess it depends what I end up doing, but I can't imagine that I'd have much work to do -- if I do have some -- at nights and such. So I could do fun things. And knit. Without feeling like a slacker! And I could plan to do things on weekends, without being unsure what my schedule will be in two or three weeks. And I want to hike -- lots -- on the weekends this summer. I'm just looking forward to that next stage. I'm sure once the gleam of the newness of it all wears off, I'll get sick of it, or wish I could go back to my college days, or something, but I'm looking forward to all of it. Especially having money. I'm sure it won't be much, but it'll be something. And as I'm planning on living at home for awhile, I won't have to be spending it on rent and such. Yay for being a moocher! And with my parents' blessing, no less. And maybe, hopefully, oh man please, I'll be able to get a dog sooner than later. I long for a dog so very much. Even though I obviously wouldn't have one around right now anyway. Maybe the knowledge that I'll be going home to an animal-less house weirds me out. Either way, I really hope it can work out that I can get one much sooner than later.
Ok, so, confession. All of the above was written last night before I went to bed, but I knew I wouldn't post it until today so I wrote it as if it were all coming from today. I'm sneaky like that. But as luck would have it, by the time I actually fell asleep, I wasn't in such a good mood. Not terrible, but as I was lying there trying to fall asleep, my mind started wandering to camping, and trying to sleep in a tent, and our last camping expedition this past summer, when I got the worst sleep I had ever gotten while camping. Mostly because of Kebbie, who didn't really like being in a tent, and who had previously managed to escape the last time (I think it was the last time) we took her camping. The first night, I believe it was, she did this again. It might have been early early morning by that point, but I'm not sure. All I know is she managed to find a tiny hole in the zipper door big enough for her to nose through and get it bigger, and out she went. And while I realized it right away and was up in a flash getting my shoes on to go get her, I was still terrified for a second. We were in the woods. It was dark. Who knows, she could have seen a rabbit or something and gone after it before I got out there. Of course, once I stepped outside, she was just kind of milling around our campsite. She wouldn't go far. I put her on a leash and probably walked around with her for a little while. But last night I was just remembering that trip. I was willing to give up any chance of sleep just to make sure she didn't get out again. After that I kept her on the leash, with the leash handle on my arm. Anyway. She was my baby and I was so worried about losing her out there. So naturally, thinking about all this (which went through my head in all of five seconds) made me start to cry. And then I couldn't get to sleep so I had to resort, once again, to turning on whatever movie I had in my DVD player (Sound of Music this time) and turning the sleep timer on on my TV. Oh well. It happens.
The good news? It looks like it might get into the 60s this week! Of course, most of the days that are supposed to be in the 60s are also supposed to be cloudy and possibly rainy (including Saturday at the moment, which is the day of the Blue-Gold game), but right now I suppose I'll take what I can get.
The more I think about it (and I have been thinking about it), the more I wonder if the order in which I was originally trying to read the Chronicles of Narnia really caused me to be turned off from continuing. There's something that just fit so much better the way we read them in class, the way I was planning on reading them once I tried to start it again. I definitely think it's the better order, published order. But that's just me. And my professor, who I happen to think is pretty cool.
Ok I've lost any semblance of a common thread in this thing. Actually, I don't really think there was one to start out with. My good mood maybe? Hm. Either way, guess it's time to end. (Oh last thing I'll say -- I'm excited tomorrow's Tuesday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are just better than Mondays and Wednesdays, partly because they include CS Lewis, partly because my day can start later, and...yeah. And tomorrow we're getting bagels from Panera at our section meeting, which we have weekly but I haven't gone to since probably October. It's a senior thing. Seniors never tend to go to section meetings. They're just a pain and a pointless waste of time. But we have section funds, and I guess my RA decided to spend it on that. So I looked at Panera's website, and they have chocolate chip bagels (mmm so healthy) and they have hazelnut cream cheese. So, clearly, I have to get anything hazelnut flavored. So I'm excited for that. And Tuesdays are also The Office days on TBS at 10 and 10:30 pm. The only problem is section meeting is at 10...but yeah. Anyway. Ok now I'm done.)
Wow.
That CS Lewis sure can write a good story. Or even seven of them. I just finished reading The Last Battle, and man. It was so good. The whole Chronicles just...it's amazing. I highly highly recommend it. And I definitely do think they're best read in the published order (starting with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe). Wow. Prior to taking this CS Lewis class, I had only read LWW, The Magician's Nephew, Horse and His Boy (although I had forgotten a good deal of that), and the beginning of Prince Caspian. I had been reading them in chronological order (after having read LWW years ago as a kid). I didn't get very far though, obviously. But man. They're all just so good. And the last book. Wow. It's a lot different than the others, in some way, and I really hated the story for the first few chapters, but that's because of how events were unfolding in Narnia. It was dislike at what characters in the book were doing to my beloved Narnia. But the ending is so wonderful, as obviously it'd have to be. Although there is one sort of sad part about it. But as I don't know if anyone who reads this hasn't read The Last Battle and wants to, I suppose I won't spoil that part. Not that it's really a spoiler as it has little to do with the plot, but yeah. Anyway.
Go read Chronicles of Narnia. Kids books they may be, but that doesn't mean they're not wonderful. (It just means they're quick, easy reads -- but they also pack a punch!)
Now what? Further up and further in, I suppose.
Go read Chronicles of Narnia. Kids books they may be, but that doesn't mean they're not wonderful. (It just means they're quick, easy reads -- but they also pack a punch!)
Now what? Further up and further in, I suppose.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The perils of doing laundry, and other things
Man, I hate coming across things I meant to wash but forgot -- right before I go down to get my now clean clothes from the dryer. Boo.
Oh and also, getting down to the laundry room to find my clothes removed from the dryer (it had ended probably five minutes before I got down there, so that's my own fault), but still annoyingly damp. No, not just damp, but some things still pretty legitimately wet-ish. Including all three pairs of jeans. And there hadn't been that many other things in there. I will most certainly not miss that aspect of dorm life. It's nice having the option to turn the dryer on for another twenty minutes. With the dryers downstairs, you either have to pay for a full hour, or get down there before your hour is done to add time. Annoying. Sometimes it's like out of three loads, I only stick two loads' worth into two dryers, and they still come out damp. And believe me, they don't fill the dryers in the slightest. Eh whatever. Aside from an extra random load I might be doing now, I think I'll probably only do laundry one more time before I leave. (haha, as luck and planning would have it, the Domer Dollars I put onto my card at the beginning of the year...or semester, but I think it was from the $50 I put in at the beginning of the year, anyway I now have like $2 something. Not enough for more laundry. So I had to put another $20 on there tonight. Although...now that I'm thinking about it, it probably would have made more sense just to pay with cash since it'll only be probably at most four more loads. It is cheaper to use domer dollars, but only 50 cents a load (including washer and dryer). Eh whatever. But also, I have maybe, maybe two more loads' worth of laundry detergent left. I was at the store yesterday and contemplated getting another thing of it, but I really didn't want to. I may have to bum some from one of my friends. Or just buy some overpriced stuff at the Huddle or something.
Anyway. That's enough about laundry. At least now my room smells nice and fresh, thanks to the clothes I have hanging up to dry. (It's difficult finding room to hang things once I use up the space on my drying rack. But luckily there's a little moulding thing a few inches below the ceiling that goes all around the room, and I can hook hangers on it.
(Oh, and while I'm here -- ND got robbed of that second goal tonight. Yes, we may have still lost. But there's a pretty good chance that had we kept that goal, BC wouldn't have scored that fourth goal so quickly, and the momentum most definitely would have been more in our favor and we might have managed to do something with it in the 15 minutes that were left. Boo to that stupid replay official who didn't even have the right to interfere in the on-ice call of a goal. And then saying it was kicked in? What the heck was he watching? Argh. Lots of people were comparing it to the TD made by David Grimes in the Stanford game in November. Anyone with eyes can see it was a TD, but the officials decided that it may have possibly perhaps could have touched the ground. They didn't have conclusive evidence to support this, which is usually necessary in overturning a call -- unless you're a Pac-10 official and you're playing ND and deciding to overturn a good play by ND. Argh. I know everyone gets bad calls once in awhile, but it seriously seems like we sure do get hosed a lot by refs and such, no matter what sport. Boo.)
Oh and also, getting down to the laundry room to find my clothes removed from the dryer (it had ended probably five minutes before I got down there, so that's my own fault), but still annoyingly damp. No, not just damp, but some things still pretty legitimately wet-ish. Including all three pairs of jeans. And there hadn't been that many other things in there. I will most certainly not miss that aspect of dorm life. It's nice having the option to turn the dryer on for another twenty minutes. With the dryers downstairs, you either have to pay for a full hour, or get down there before your hour is done to add time. Annoying. Sometimes it's like out of three loads, I only stick two loads' worth into two dryers, and they still come out damp. And believe me, they don't fill the dryers in the slightest. Eh whatever. Aside from an extra random load I might be doing now, I think I'll probably only do laundry one more time before I leave. (haha, as luck and planning would have it, the Domer Dollars I put onto my card at the beginning of the year...or semester, but I think it was from the $50 I put in at the beginning of the year, anyway I now have like $2 something. Not enough for more laundry. So I had to put another $20 on there tonight. Although...now that I'm thinking about it, it probably would have made more sense just to pay with cash since it'll only be probably at most four more loads. It is cheaper to use domer dollars, but only 50 cents a load (including washer and dryer). Eh whatever. But also, I have maybe, maybe two more loads' worth of laundry detergent left. I was at the store yesterday and contemplated getting another thing of it, but I really didn't want to. I may have to bum some from one of my friends. Or just buy some overpriced stuff at the Huddle or something.
Anyway. That's enough about laundry. At least now my room smells nice and fresh, thanks to the clothes I have hanging up to dry. (It's difficult finding room to hang things once I use up the space on my drying rack. But luckily there's a little moulding thing a few inches below the ceiling that goes all around the room, and I can hook hangers on it.
(Oh, and while I'm here -- ND got robbed of that second goal tonight. Yes, we may have still lost. But there's a pretty good chance that had we kept that goal, BC wouldn't have scored that fourth goal so quickly, and the momentum most definitely would have been more in our favor and we might have managed to do something with it in the 15 minutes that were left. Boo to that stupid replay official who didn't even have the right to interfere in the on-ice call of a goal. And then saying it was kicked in? What the heck was he watching? Argh. Lots of people were comparing it to the TD made by David Grimes in the Stanford game in November. Anyone with eyes can see it was a TD, but the officials decided that it may have possibly perhaps could have touched the ground. They didn't have conclusive evidence to support this, which is usually necessary in overturning a call -- unless you're a Pac-10 official and you're playing ND and deciding to overturn a good play by ND. Argh. I know everyone gets bad calls once in awhile, but it seriously seems like we sure do get hosed a lot by refs and such, no matter what sport. Boo.)
Maybe spring will get here by summer
April 13. And it's snowing. Thankfully, it's very very little, and just flurrying, and obviously not sticking, but still. It's there. And it's cold. April 13 and we have yet to have more than like two days in a row with nice, warm, springy weather. How disappointing.
Could be worse, I guess. Could be blizzarding. Wouldn't that be fun?
Could be worse, I guess. Could be blizzarding. Wouldn't that be fun?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Mmm, hazelnutty
You Are a Hazelnut |
 You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out. Most people don't really know how to interact with you. You get along best with anyone who is super sweet. But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them. |
It's official
When it comes to writing ability (at least school-wise; I don't really know about otherwise), I think I've hit a wall. Or, more accurately, I think I have to accept that I hit a wall awhile ago. I don't really know what to do to make my essays better, but I keep getting the same grades, or in the same range, regardless of subject. And it's not like it's a terrible grade (high B), but still. I used to get As on papers. Heck, I got a 100% on a paper at the beginning of last semester. For the same teacher for whom I'm now getting 88s. I don't know what changed. I don't think I tried any harder on that 100% than I did on my last paper. Oh well. It's a little disappointing (I was hoping I'd do much better on this paper -- I just got it back, hence the post), but that's life. Not like it matters in the long run. I think I'm in for a set of B+s on my report card this semester. I'll be lucky to get a single A (including A-).
Whatever. 5 weeks from now, it won't matter in the slightest. Ish.
Whatever. 5 weeks from now, it won't matter in the slightest. Ish.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Might as well face it you're addicted to blog...
I got made fun of last night for posting so much. So I'm going to post a lot today.
(Actually, that may or may not be true. I never plan these things, you know. Usually.)
I just want to say two things: First, being out and about at 8:30am does have its advantages. I heard so many birds singing joyfully today as I walked over to Malloy Hall for my directed readings meeting. It was so lovely. They were probably even more gleeful because it's not raining today (I believe it's even sunny now!) and I doubt they got much of a chance to sing yesterday. Do birds sing when it's raining? I'd imagine they're elsewhere, trying to keep dry and such. Anyway. It was nice this morning, whatever the reason. I really think I could be a morning person if I didn't insist on going to bed too late to make waking up early seem appealing. Early morning is nice. Especially when walking across a fairly deserted campus.
Second, oh man I forgot. Oh no I remembered. We're all excited about the hockey team, right? The only slightly bad thing about this is the game is at 7 tomorrow night, and BJ Novak (who plays Ryan on The Office) is coming to campus tomorrow night at 9. Two of the other actors (those who play Kelly and Darryl) came two weekends ago, and as it was first come first served, we got there at 8 and it was already fairly crowded. It's a fun time, and I was looking forward to this one. But we're all agreed (my friends who were planning on going) that hockey is coming first, so we're not going to see him now. Sort of sad. So...it probably means we're going to get killed in the game. Oh well. At least we're good in some sport. Man I wish it had been football. Anyway.
That's all I got for now. Oh, and also, I think I'm not going to eat for like three days. I had Chipotle for dinner last night, and it filled me to ridiculous amounts, and I'm still feeling as full as I did twelve hours ago. Bleh. This is why food isn't good sometimes. Perhaps a whole Chipotle burrito was my mistake; I've been trying to eat smaller portions lately, and a Chipotle burrito is most certainly not a small portion. But man...they're so good. Hopefully, though, from now on when I eat them, I can manage to hold myself to eating half at a time. Then I get to enjoy it twice!
Ok. Now I'm done. Possibly off for a nap. I have three hours until I have to start thinking about getting to guitar (it starts at 1:55). Mmm nap.
(Actually, that may or may not be true. I never plan these things, you know. Usually.)
I just want to say two things: First, being out and about at 8:30am does have its advantages. I heard so many birds singing joyfully today as I walked over to Malloy Hall for my directed readings meeting. It was so lovely. They were probably even more gleeful because it's not raining today (I believe it's even sunny now!) and I doubt they got much of a chance to sing yesterday. Do birds sing when it's raining? I'd imagine they're elsewhere, trying to keep dry and such. Anyway. It was nice this morning, whatever the reason. I really think I could be a morning person if I didn't insist on going to bed too late to make waking up early seem appealing. Early morning is nice. Especially when walking across a fairly deserted campus.
Second, oh man I forgot. Oh no I remembered. We're all excited about the hockey team, right? The only slightly bad thing about this is the game is at 7 tomorrow night, and BJ Novak (who plays Ryan on The Office) is coming to campus tomorrow night at 9. Two of the other actors (those who play Kelly and Darryl) came two weekends ago, and as it was first come first served, we got there at 8 and it was already fairly crowded. It's a fun time, and I was looking forward to this one. But we're all agreed (my friends who were planning on going) that hockey is coming first, so we're not going to see him now. Sort of sad. So...it probably means we're going to get killed in the game. Oh well. At least we're good in some sport. Man I wish it had been football. Anyway.
That's all I got for now. Oh, and also, I think I'm not going to eat for like three days. I had Chipotle for dinner last night, and it filled me to ridiculous amounts, and I'm still feeling as full as I did twelve hours ago. Bleh. This is why food isn't good sometimes. Perhaps a whole Chipotle burrito was my mistake; I've been trying to eat smaller portions lately, and a Chipotle burrito is most certainly not a small portion. But man...they're so good. Hopefully, though, from now on when I eat them, I can manage to hold myself to eating half at a time. Then I get to enjoy it twice!
Ok. Now I'm done. Possibly off for a nap. I have three hours until I have to start thinking about getting to guitar (it starts at 1:55). Mmm nap.
Yeah Bay-BY!!!
So, I looked and looked but couldn't find a good picture to depict this:
NOTRE DAME IS PLAYING IN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
Yes, it's for hockey. Definitely not my favorite sport, but I like it better than basketball, so...that's something. And I actually watched the entire game tonight, and paid attention (to most of it; we were playing trivia at Legends while it was on). The important thing is, it's Notre Dame, and obviously I'm going to root for them no matter the sport or the time. Always. Especially in the National Championship! Amazing to think that freshman year, we sucked royally in hockey. Not sure if we were that good sophomore year either. And now here we are, we just made our first appearance ever tonight in the Frozen Four, on our way to the championship against BC! Woohoo! It was a really exciting game tonight, too. Everyone (including my friends) seemed to think we had a good chance of being killed. We were playing #1 ranked Michigan, and we were the lowest seed of the four. And after five minutes, we scored. And less than a minute later, we scored again. And a third time by the end of the first period. Then eventually in the second, Michigan scored twice. They scored again in the 3rd, tying it up, and then we scored, then they scored. So it was 4-4 at the end of regulation, and it went into overtime -- a 20 minute period, sudden death I guess (but if necessary it would have gone into more periods, obviously). There were a few close calls on both sides, and then after five or so minutes -- we scored! We won! It was awesome!!!
(Not so awesome was walking back to Cavanaugh from Legends: it's been rainy and gross all day, and is almost worse now than it was earlier today. And the worms? They're out en masse. And while I think I figured it out a year ago, and those of you who were around last year may remember, when I stepped on a worm on a day like today and actually felt it squish and couldn't get over it, I now know that I have almost a phobia of stepping on worms. On a sidewalk right outside Legends I looked down after walking a few feet and saw the thing littered with dozens and dozens of worms. Could barely avoid them. Happened a few times along the walk back. I was tempted to go walk in the muddy lawn instead of the sidewalk just to avoid them. Ugh. Few things gross me out as much as that, apparently. I didn't know it, but now I'm certain. Disgusting.)
Yay and Go Irish! (And if you have ESPN, you should watch -- 7pm Eastern on Saturday night!)
NOTRE DAME IS PLAYING IN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
Yes, it's for hockey. Definitely not my favorite sport, but I like it better than basketball, so...that's something. And I actually watched the entire game tonight, and paid attention (to most of it; we were playing trivia at Legends while it was on). The important thing is, it's Notre Dame, and obviously I'm going to root for them no matter the sport or the time. Always. Especially in the National Championship! Amazing to think that freshman year, we sucked royally in hockey. Not sure if we were that good sophomore year either. And now here we are, we just made our first appearance ever tonight in the Frozen Four, on our way to the championship against BC! Woohoo! It was a really exciting game tonight, too. Everyone (including my friends) seemed to think we had a good chance of being killed. We were playing #1 ranked Michigan, and we were the lowest seed of the four. And after five minutes, we scored. And less than a minute later, we scored again. And a third time by the end of the first period. Then eventually in the second, Michigan scored twice. They scored again in the 3rd, tying it up, and then we scored, then they scored. So it was 4-4 at the end of regulation, and it went into overtime -- a 20 minute period, sudden death I guess (but if necessary it would have gone into more periods, obviously). There were a few close calls on both sides, and then after five or so minutes -- we scored! We won! It was awesome!!!
(Not so awesome was walking back to Cavanaugh from Legends: it's been rainy and gross all day, and is almost worse now than it was earlier today. And the worms? They're out en masse. And while I think I figured it out a year ago, and those of you who were around last year may remember, when I stepped on a worm on a day like today and actually felt it squish and couldn't get over it, I now know that I have almost a phobia of stepping on worms. On a sidewalk right outside Legends I looked down after walking a few feet and saw the thing littered with dozens and dozens of worms. Could barely avoid them. Happened a few times along the walk back. I was tempted to go walk in the muddy lawn instead of the sidewalk just to avoid them. Ugh. Few things gross me out as much as that, apparently. I didn't know it, but now I'm certain. Disgusting.)
Yay and Go Irish! (And if you have ESPN, you should watch -- 7pm Eastern on Saturday night!)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Hey Sicky Sickerson--
Quit staying up so unnecessarily late! What's your problem? You could recover much more quickly if you didn't insist on staying up so late all the time.
Seriously. Character flaw you must work on.
Seriously. Character flaw you must work on.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Wednesday night musings
Sometimes lately I've been wondering if I might be lactose intolerant or something. I don't know. All I know is when I have ice cream, it doesn't sit well with me. But I don't know if I notice anything when I have like cereal or something. I think I need to do a little research here, figure this out. Maybe it's just dining hall food in general getting to me. Wouldn't surprise anyone who's had to eat primarily dining hall food for any significant period of time in their lives. Anyway. Who knows. I haven't had much appetite for food the past few days, and this isn't helping. But maybe that's a good thing. I could go a few days not eating much, I think.
In other news, sigh. Things this week are making me look forward to being done. Not so much this week, but making up for days I missed last week. I'm slightly concerned about my guitar class, since I've missed three now (unfortunately, not anticipating that I'd be gone the next week, I skipped the week before to go to the Dawn Eden talk). I think we're allowed to miss three without any problems. I mean, it's a pass/fail class anyway, and I'm paying to take it (ridiculous, especially considering that I had to buy two books for it too. Stupid thing). So I don't think there should be problems, but yeah. Whatever. Only three more now. I am glad I took it though, because even if I'm not so good at the full chords, I'm better with the putting different notes with different fingering, instead of relying just on tabs or whatnot. But anyway. So there's that. And then there's directed readings. I emailed my prof on...Wednesday night, I think, telling him I'd be gone Friday so we'd have to reschedule. He replied sometime while I was gone and said to let him know when I got back so we could set up something. And I did that, including times every day this week that I'd be available, and told him to let me know what worked best for him. Well, by tonight I still hadn't heard from him, so I emailed him again. And now, I don't know. He told me to call him so we could talk about it. I guess he has people coming in on Friday or something, so he's pushing up our 10:30 regular time to 8:30. On a Friday morning. Blech. Oh well. So I'm not sure if we'll be doing both last week's and this week's readings, or just last week's. I asked and he said we'll just see how it goes. Thing is, and I didn't realize this until I got off the phone, I had asked him in the email what exactly this week's reading is because when I looked for it (it's a CDF -- Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith -- document), there were a few possibilities from what he had told me, and I'm somewhat confused. I guess I'll send him an email tomorrow or something. It'd be really nice if he just said we could scrap this week's reading, because it is somewhat relevant to the whole thing, but only slightly (it's to do with homosexuality, basically, and what we've been talking about this semester is more sexual ethics especially regarding nonmarital sex and contraception. I suppose homosexuality fits into that, but...it's a whole different branch, it seems like. So I wouldn't be sad to lose that reading). The most annoying part about this whole situation is that I feel like such an imposition on my professor. It's just an extra thing for him to do and deal with, and he doesn't really get anything out of it. (I don't know what professors get out of regular classes, but they at least get...TCEs or something, I guess.) So I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells, or I can't do anything to bother him because it's really a favor to me that he's doing this. I hate that feeling.
Anyway. Rant over. Oh and about making up for last week, I had a paper due Thursday that I didn't get finished in time and my prof gave me a little extra time, but since I sent it Sunday, it makes me feel more vulnerable because it wasn't read/graded with all the rest that were handed in last week. I don't like sticking out. Oh well.
What else was there...Well, last night I had a dream with Colt in it. Involved me holding her a lot. Man I miss that cat. So much. Sigh. She was so squeezable. So nice and fat. And soft. Why'd she have to be one of the losses this year? We put Blackie down in early 2007, then Colt died in September, then Kebbie, now Memere (and while it's obviously on a different level, Grandpop finally sold his house a month or two ago. Just a house, but I had lots of fun childhood memories there, and it is sort of sad). Sigh. I guess that's life. Just happened to have a lot of that in the last 14 months...let's hope there's nothing else along those lines in the near future. Or even not so near.
3 weeks from 10 hours ago, I will have finished my last class. Ever. Well, in the foreseeable future. How bizarre...
Know what? Most of the time I walk around in serious denial about the private lives that something up near 90%, give or take, of the population lead. I was seeing if there was anything good on TV tonight (hint: of course there wasn't), and the name of a show intrigued me: Real Life -- I'm a Celibate. (Or something along those lines.) This was on MTV, so obviously it was going to be...weird. Anyway. I watched about five minutes of it, and one of the people they were highlighting was a girl who had a boyfriend of 3 weeks with whom she'd been celibate. 3 weeks. They were making a big deal about the fact that he was doing so well with it after 3 weeks. Seriously? Yeah, I guess that's the world for a lot of people. Whatever, I guess. Obviously not everyone shares my value system, much as I might want to ignore that fact...
I just finished my exit loan counseling that we're required to do before graduation. That was...a lot of fun. And that's going to be a lot of fun for the next hundred years of my life. Or maybe 30. Hey, maybe even less! Whatever.
Hm I have yet to get around to finishing that blog post I'm in the middle of writing. Maybe I should. Or I could do some homework...yeah that's probably a better idea.
In other news, sigh. Things this week are making me look forward to being done. Not so much this week, but making up for days I missed last week. I'm slightly concerned about my guitar class, since I've missed three now (unfortunately, not anticipating that I'd be gone the next week, I skipped the week before to go to the Dawn Eden talk). I think we're allowed to miss three without any problems. I mean, it's a pass/fail class anyway, and I'm paying to take it (ridiculous, especially considering that I had to buy two books for it too. Stupid thing). So I don't think there should be problems, but yeah. Whatever. Only three more now. I am glad I took it though, because even if I'm not so good at the full chords, I'm better with the putting different notes with different fingering, instead of relying just on tabs or whatnot. But anyway. So there's that. And then there's directed readings. I emailed my prof on...Wednesday night, I think, telling him I'd be gone Friday so we'd have to reschedule. He replied sometime while I was gone and said to let him know when I got back so we could set up something. And I did that, including times every day this week that I'd be available, and told him to let me know what worked best for him. Well, by tonight I still hadn't heard from him, so I emailed him again. And now, I don't know. He told me to call him so we could talk about it. I guess he has people coming in on Friday or something, so he's pushing up our 10:30 regular time to 8:30. On a Friday morning. Blech. Oh well. So I'm not sure if we'll be doing both last week's and this week's readings, or just last week's. I asked and he said we'll just see how it goes. Thing is, and I didn't realize this until I got off the phone, I had asked him in the email what exactly this week's reading is because when I looked for it (it's a CDF -- Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith -- document), there were a few possibilities from what he had told me, and I'm somewhat confused. I guess I'll send him an email tomorrow or something. It'd be really nice if he just said we could scrap this week's reading, because it is somewhat relevant to the whole thing, but only slightly (it's to do with homosexuality, basically, and what we've been talking about this semester is more sexual ethics especially regarding nonmarital sex and contraception. I suppose homosexuality fits into that, but...it's a whole different branch, it seems like. So I wouldn't be sad to lose that reading). The most annoying part about this whole situation is that I feel like such an imposition on my professor. It's just an extra thing for him to do and deal with, and he doesn't really get anything out of it. (I don't know what professors get out of regular classes, but they at least get...TCEs or something, I guess.) So I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells, or I can't do anything to bother him because it's really a favor to me that he's doing this. I hate that feeling.
Anyway. Rant over. Oh and about making up for last week, I had a paper due Thursday that I didn't get finished in time and my prof gave me a little extra time, but since I sent it Sunday, it makes me feel more vulnerable because it wasn't read/graded with all the rest that were handed in last week. I don't like sticking out. Oh well.
What else was there...Well, last night I had a dream with Colt in it. Involved me holding her a lot. Man I miss that cat. So much. Sigh. She was so squeezable. So nice and fat. And soft. Why'd she have to be one of the losses this year? We put Blackie down in early 2007, then Colt died in September, then Kebbie, now Memere (and while it's obviously on a different level, Grandpop finally sold his house a month or two ago. Just a house, but I had lots of fun childhood memories there, and it is sort of sad). Sigh. I guess that's life. Just happened to have a lot of that in the last 14 months...let's hope there's nothing else along those lines in the near future. Or even not so near.
3 weeks from 10 hours ago, I will have finished my last class. Ever. Well, in the foreseeable future. How bizarre...
Know what? Most of the time I walk around in serious denial about the private lives that something up near 90%, give or take, of the population lead. I was seeing if there was anything good on TV tonight (hint: of course there wasn't), and the name of a show intrigued me: Real Life -- I'm a Celibate. (Or something along those lines.) This was on MTV, so obviously it was going to be...weird. Anyway. I watched about five minutes of it, and one of the people they were highlighting was a girl who had a boyfriend of 3 weeks with whom she'd been celibate. 3 weeks. They were making a big deal about the fact that he was doing so well with it after 3 weeks. Seriously? Yeah, I guess that's the world for a lot of people. Whatever, I guess. Obviously not everyone shares my value system, much as I might want to ignore that fact...
I just finished my exit loan counseling that we're required to do before graduation. That was...a lot of fun. And that's going to be a lot of fun for the next hundred years of my life. Or maybe 30. Hey, maybe even less! Whatever.
Hm I have yet to get around to finishing that blog post I'm in the middle of writing. Maybe I should. Or I could do some homework...yeah that's probably a better idea.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Just put me out of my misery...
So I'm in the middle of writing this post that I'm really excited about. No one else probably will be, but I don't care. But before I could finish it, I had to go to work at 7. I just got back, and I have to leave in a bit to go meet with these two girls with whom I'm doing a group presentation in history. But the biggest deterrent right now to finishing that post? The fact that within the last three hours, I've gone from being just tired to feeling like I got run over by a truck. I thought I was just going to need to get to sleep early tonight. But now, after two hours at work (although it only took about five minutes once I got there to realize this), I realize that I'm most definitely sick. Hoping it's not the flu, but you never know. Every inch of me aches. I sort of want to eat, but at the same time I sort of want to throw up. So, you know, that's a lovely feeling. I bought myself some NyQuil at work and I'll be popping some of those as soon as I get back from my meeting. Which hopefully won't take too terribly long, because I'm not sure how long I'll last...
I just hope I get lots of good sleep tonight, without frequent wakings-up, and feel better in the morning. Sigh. I got myself a sandwich at Subway with my meal ticket after work despite the nausea. It's sitting in my fridge in case I start to feel better. I really want to feel better because I really want to eat it. But man, it was hard at work tonight. Everything that people brought to the register -- much of which consisted of various candy, cookies, ice cream, chips, etc -- made me have to fight my nausea a little bit. Man. I just want to go to bed.
Ok. Complaining over.
I just hope I get lots of good sleep tonight, without frequent wakings-up, and feel better in the morning. Sigh. I got myself a sandwich at Subway with my meal ticket after work despite the nausea. It's sitting in my fridge in case I start to feel better. I really want to feel better because I really want to eat it. But man, it was hard at work tonight. Everything that people brought to the register -- much of which consisted of various candy, cookies, ice cream, chips, etc -- made me have to fight my nausea a little bit. Man. I just want to go to bed.
Ok. Complaining over.
Monday, April 07, 2008
The weekend and such
Ok, so on Saturday the funeral was at 10am, and then there was the procession to the grave site (by the way, it's interesting being in a funeral procession and being allowed to stop traffic and run red lights and whatnot. And one of the guys who works at the funeral home, the one who was in charge of the procession, man he has a lot of power -- he kept having to go to various intersections to make sure that traffic would stop for us, both for the procession to the church and later to the cemetery. It's a very interesting job, I'd imagine). After that we had this big meal at a Radisson somewhat nearby, where people mingled and such. Ok I guess this is going in a different direction than I had planned, so let me backtrack. Thursday night we all (minus Mom, who was already there, and Peter, who obviously couldn't come) flew into Boston -- the others were on the same flight, thankfully for Cathy (I can't imagine that flying by herself with two kids 3 and 9 months would have been very much fun), direct from Denver, and I flew from Chicago. I was supposed to get in like 40 minutes before they did, but because of the wonderfulness of flying United out of Chicago, I got in an hour late. Seriously, I wonder if O'Hare ever has a United flight leave on time. I really don't think that they do. And 9 times out of 10 that I've seen, it's been because of aircraft delay. I have no idea what they're doing there, but it's stupid and annoying. Anyway. Could have been worse, worked out well enough anyway. They had already gotten their luggage and whatnot, and I just did carry-on, so we didn't have to wait for anything.
So we got to the hotel, eventually went to bed, etc. I was in a room with Cathy and the boys, so that was interesting. Although, I think once I got to sleep, their waking up didn't wake me up (and it was only Jimmy who woke up during the night, at least Thursday and Friday nights). It was the getting to sleep that was a problem for me. I got a lovely pull-out bed. mmm. haha. Anyway. Friday we could sleep in and such because we didn't have to be anywhere until 3 (the wake started at 4). But Cathy and I did get up sometime around 9 because the breakfast ended at 9:30. And then I just stayed up after that because I don't tend to do well falling back asleep in the morning once I've woken up and walked around a bit. So we just kind of hung out in the rooms for awhile, got ready to go, and left around 2 so we could get lunch. Then we went to the funeral home, where Memere was laid out, and it was an open casket. Sort of weird. I don't know. That's how it was for Grandmom too, but yeah. It's just...odd seeing people you knew alive and, well, breathing, lying there completely still. My mind kept playing tricks on me, trying to get it to look like she was actually breathing, because that's how people are supposed to be. They're supposed to be breathing. I remember my eyes desperately looking for that rising and falling when we put Kebbie down, too. Anyway. When we got to the funeral home, the only other people there were Uncle Bob and Aunt Paula, but more of the aunts and uncles and cousins showed up within the next hour. And later (well, cousins showed up later, but all the aunts and uncles were there before it officially started).
The wake was interesting. There were a lot of people there. I mean, my family alone (counting my own immediate family also) includes 7 sets of sons/daughters and spouses, and 24 grandchildren (only 7 of which are girls. I have 15 boy cousins on my mom's side and 5 girl cousins. Sort of uneven. Oh, and, I'm the youngest granddaughter. I'm closer in age to the oldest great-granddaughter, who's 19, than to my youngest cousin on that side, who's 26. I'm pretty sure the oldest cousin is something like 40, give or take.). And 24 great-grandchildren, but most of them weren't there. I spent a lot of the time sitting with a few specific people, including my brother and sister and a few of the cousins we're more...comfortable with, I guess, because it was just a bit overwhelming to try to mingle. My parents were, especially my mom, but she knew lots of the people there. Some of her own cousins, friends of Memere's, friends of the family, etc. Other than my own family, I didn't really know anyone. But during the four hours that the wake was held, my mom's best friend (in my mind, at least -- they've been friends since they were little girls) and her husband came, so I knew them, and one of my dad's closest friends from when they lived in Massachusetts and his wife came, and these neighbors we had when we lived in Lowell, who used to watch us and who we call Aunt Sue and Uncle Bob came too. It was really nice to see them. They're fun people (and big dog-lovers, so they comforted me some about Kebbie. Mom had talked to Aunt Sue and asked for prayers for me the week before we put Kebbie down). Just awesome. And it was interesting seeing and talking to my cousins, too. I hadn't seen some of them in...years. Everyone was there except Peter and my cousin Andrew who's in the Air Force and had taken a week or a few days right after Memere had her heart attack to come up and see her. So I guess he couldn't take any more time. It was really good that everyone was there, and so many other people. She really was an amazing lady, Memere.
We picked up Chinese on the way back to the hotel. The boys were losing it quickly, although they had been pretty awesome during the whole wake and everything. And everyone agrees that Jimmy's pretty much just amazingly cute. Eventually again we went to bed, and we (the kids) had to leave by 8:30ish the next morning. Didn't quite happen that way, but it was close enough I guess. Got to the funeral home around 9, then the procession started sometime after 9:30. Drove through the streets of Lowell to get to the church. The funeral Mass was nice enough. I didn't really cry much, perhaps a bit at some point. I'm not much of one for showing emotion in public though. After Mass we went to the cemetery, and Memere was put into the ground. During, and especially after, the prayers there, I did cry some. I mean, that's the last time I would see her (even though I couldn't "see her" at that point, obviously). It was hard. I mean, it's still hard. Hits me at weird times. Hard to believe she's just gone, completely and forever. But she's with Pepere now. They've been separated for 15 years, after having been together more than 50 years. And she led a really good life, and left a great imprint on her children and grandchildren. I mean, out of her 7 kids, none of them got divorced. That itself is pretty impressive. A few of the grandkids have gotten divorced (two or three I can think of -- interestingly only girls...weird), but still, she was a great influence for us to follow. (No one probably is, but if you're interested, here's a link to her obituary. Not sure how long it'll be up.)
Anyway. Afterward we went to that thing at the Radisson, which had some good food, and eventually said goodbye to people, some of whom I have no idea when I'll see again. Weird to think about, but it's true. Half the time everyone got together (and usually it wasn't "everyone"), I think it had a lot to do with the fact that Memere was there. But who knows. Maybe some day I'll get married and people will decide it's worth it to visit Colorado for a second time since we've moved there. Haha. Anyway. After some down time at the hotel, we went to Memere's apartment to see if there was anything around we'd want to have. I took a few things, including an awesome bag and three boxes of note cards (although, I don't really know who I'll use them on now, since in the past years the people I most frequently wrote to with snail mail was both my grandmothers and now they're both gone), and Cathy and I both put a few pieces of jewelry into a baggie. Mom's going to be back there this weekend to help clean the place, and she'll check to see if it's stuff anyone else wants. Most of Memere's jewelry is very...not sure what the word is. Nothing I'd ever wear. Haha. She definitely had specific tastes. Just part of her charm. But yeah, anyway. Oh this was what I was initially just going to mention in this post: Memere was a packrat. Her closet is like my room on a smaller scale. She saved everything. Cathy even found a box of empty boxes in there. I can't say I don't have something similar. It's pretty funny. Don't worry, though, I am intending to pare down my "stuff" (because that's all it is, and I don't want it tying me down anymore) once I get home. A lofty goal, perhaps, but hopefully I can manage to make myself buckle down and do it.
Anyway. After the venture to her apartment, we went for a little while to the house of one of my mom's brothers. Lots of people were planning on going. I think we might have missed some people because we showed up relatively late, but yeah. We didn't stay terribly long, and came back and just decompressed some more. Ate the rest of the previous night's Chinese. Watched the second of the Final Four games, etc. Went to bed. Or, attempted at least. Mom and I were leaving at 6 or so the next morning, because Mom's flight was at 8. Mine was at 9 like everyone else's, but we had two cars -- Memere's, which Mom had been driving around and is continuing to use now that she's out there again, and a rental which had the carseats and fit the two kids and three big people. So if I hadn't gone with Mom, we wouldn't all have fit in the rental, and so everyone would have had to leave at 6. This way Cathy could sleep a little later and have more time to get the boys ready and whatnot. And let's face it, I've spent lots of time in the airport so it doesn't really bother me much anymore. So that's what I did. Unfortunately I had a heck of a time getting to sleep (of course got hit with a little wave of sadness as I was trying to fall asleep, which doesn't help the falling asleep process). And Jason was bad that night, he kept waking up and such for like three seconds and would cry or say something, yeah. I don't know if I even got two hours of sleep that night. So I got a nice coffee at the airport the next morning (lucky me, there was a Dunkin Donuts right next to my gate, or else I might not have gotten one). Although, it was ridiculously hot and even though I got it a good hour or so before we took off, I still had almost half left when there was still an hour left in the flight. And it was still warm. So, whatever.
The flight was ok. Both there and back, there was no one in the middle seats (both flights were fairly empty compared to what I'm used to, but I guess maybe I typically fly during more peak times? I don't know), so that's always a plus. Since they weren't showing The Office on the flight back, I just slept, and didn't even care to wake up when I noticed them doing the beverages and whatnot (but later, once I did really wake up, I noticed the cookie thing they were giving as the snack there on the middle seat -- one for me and one for the woman who was in the aisle seat, who I think also slept most of the flight. So that was weird, but nice, because I like those cookies). I think, that's right, I let myself sleep because I was afraid I was going to get sick. I was just feeling a bit nauseated, possibly, and air-sicky, so I sat there with my coffee and let myself sleep instead of drinking more of it and making things worse. I am so glad that there's not another airplane in my immediate future. I am so sick of flying that I could just...ugh. I used to enjoy it. I guess that was back when it was fairly rare and infrequent. I hope I never have a job that requires frequent travel. Although, I suppose it might not have been so bad had I not been running on so little sleep. That always makes my stomach somewhat questionable. Especially when it's early in the morning. Anyway. Eventually the flight ended. And I took myself and my bag to the bus area, and didn't have to wait too long until the bus got there, and there were a surprising number of people that got on said bus. I guess I was expecting something more like going from ND to Chicago on Thursday, which included like five people who went to O'Hare. But I guess that's the difference between Thursday evening and Sunday morning.
Anyway. I tried the ol' sit on the window, put my bag on the aisle seat, sort of spread out so I'm taking up both, and look like I'm asleep so that no one would bother me for the other seat. Almost got away with it, too, but then the guy took so long leaving (and he was a bit late to begin with), more people had accumulated outside the bus and he let them in. And even though there were a few more open seats (obviously next to other people), some woman asked if anyone was using my extra seat. I said no, but I wasn't exactly nice about it and think I may have hogged a little more room than I might have normally. To be fair, the person in front of me had her seat back down, so my legs didn't fit well just in my little area. I think once the bus emptied a bit after a few stops, the lady moved elsewhere, but I slept most of the first two hours so I'm not sure where she went. I was very glad that I had decided to do the bus route instead of driving myself, because I was far too exhausted to be making that drive by myself. Although, I was a little annoyed when I finally sort of woke up and saw that we still had more than an hour to go. That bus ride is long sometimes. Especially with this dude. He took some backroads a lot of the way, it seemed, especially the last leg or two. Oh well. I had time to finish the book I had bought Thursday on my way to the bus stop. (Post on that coming soon!)
Anyway. Wow this turned into one long, boring post. That's been happening a lot lately...Well. Long story short, it was a pretty good weekend, and I miss Memere, but it's nice she got such a great send-off, so to speak. Lots of people loved her, and it showed. I'm sure she's happy now.
As for me, I'm sick now. Just a bit. Sore throat, runny/stuffy nose, general cold stuff. I felt it coming last night so I'm not surprised. I'm just hoping today's the worst, and it doesn't last three months like last time.
In the interest of trying to get back to healthy-ish, I should go to bed soon. Bed is good. Especially when it's not a pull-out bed in a hotel room.
So we got to the hotel, eventually went to bed, etc. I was in a room with Cathy and the boys, so that was interesting. Although, I think once I got to sleep, their waking up didn't wake me up (and it was only Jimmy who woke up during the night, at least Thursday and Friday nights). It was the getting to sleep that was a problem for me. I got a lovely pull-out bed. mmm. haha. Anyway. Friday we could sleep in and such because we didn't have to be anywhere until 3 (the wake started at 4). But Cathy and I did get up sometime around 9 because the breakfast ended at 9:30. And then I just stayed up after that because I don't tend to do well falling back asleep in the morning once I've woken up and walked around a bit. So we just kind of hung out in the rooms for awhile, got ready to go, and left around 2 so we could get lunch. Then we went to the funeral home, where Memere was laid out, and it was an open casket. Sort of weird. I don't know. That's how it was for Grandmom too, but yeah. It's just...odd seeing people you knew alive and, well, breathing, lying there completely still. My mind kept playing tricks on me, trying to get it to look like she was actually breathing, because that's how people are supposed to be. They're supposed to be breathing. I remember my eyes desperately looking for that rising and falling when we put Kebbie down, too. Anyway. When we got to the funeral home, the only other people there were Uncle Bob and Aunt Paula, but more of the aunts and uncles and cousins showed up within the next hour. And later (well, cousins showed up later, but all the aunts and uncles were there before it officially started).
The wake was interesting. There were a lot of people there. I mean, my family alone (counting my own immediate family also) includes 7 sets of sons/daughters and spouses, and 24 grandchildren (only 7 of which are girls. I have 15 boy cousins on my mom's side and 5 girl cousins. Sort of uneven. Oh, and, I'm the youngest granddaughter. I'm closer in age to the oldest great-granddaughter, who's 19, than to my youngest cousin on that side, who's 26. I'm pretty sure the oldest cousin is something like 40, give or take.). And 24 great-grandchildren, but most of them weren't there. I spent a lot of the time sitting with a few specific people, including my brother and sister and a few of the cousins we're more...comfortable with, I guess, because it was just a bit overwhelming to try to mingle. My parents were, especially my mom, but she knew lots of the people there. Some of her own cousins, friends of Memere's, friends of the family, etc. Other than my own family, I didn't really know anyone. But during the four hours that the wake was held, my mom's best friend (in my mind, at least -- they've been friends since they were little girls) and her husband came, so I knew them, and one of my dad's closest friends from when they lived in Massachusetts and his wife came, and these neighbors we had when we lived in Lowell, who used to watch us and who we call Aunt Sue and Uncle Bob came too. It was really nice to see them. They're fun people (and big dog-lovers, so they comforted me some about Kebbie. Mom had talked to Aunt Sue and asked for prayers for me the week before we put Kebbie down). Just awesome. And it was interesting seeing and talking to my cousins, too. I hadn't seen some of them in...years. Everyone was there except Peter and my cousin Andrew who's in the Air Force and had taken a week or a few days right after Memere had her heart attack to come up and see her. So I guess he couldn't take any more time. It was really good that everyone was there, and so many other people. She really was an amazing lady, Memere.
We picked up Chinese on the way back to the hotel. The boys were losing it quickly, although they had been pretty awesome during the whole wake and everything. And everyone agrees that Jimmy's pretty much just amazingly cute. Eventually again we went to bed, and we (the kids) had to leave by 8:30ish the next morning. Didn't quite happen that way, but it was close enough I guess. Got to the funeral home around 9, then the procession started sometime after 9:30. Drove through the streets of Lowell to get to the church. The funeral Mass was nice enough. I didn't really cry much, perhaps a bit at some point. I'm not much of one for showing emotion in public though. After Mass we went to the cemetery, and Memere was put into the ground. During, and especially after, the prayers there, I did cry some. I mean, that's the last time I would see her (even though I couldn't "see her" at that point, obviously). It was hard. I mean, it's still hard. Hits me at weird times. Hard to believe she's just gone, completely and forever. But she's with Pepere now. They've been separated for 15 years, after having been together more than 50 years. And she led a really good life, and left a great imprint on her children and grandchildren. I mean, out of her 7 kids, none of them got divorced. That itself is pretty impressive. A few of the grandkids have gotten divorced (two or three I can think of -- interestingly only girls...weird), but still, she was a great influence for us to follow. (No one probably is, but if you're interested, here's a link to her obituary. Not sure how long it'll be up.)
Anyway. Afterward we went to that thing at the Radisson, which had some good food, and eventually said goodbye to people, some of whom I have no idea when I'll see again. Weird to think about, but it's true. Half the time everyone got together (and usually it wasn't "everyone"), I think it had a lot to do with the fact that Memere was there. But who knows. Maybe some day I'll get married and people will decide it's worth it to visit Colorado for a second time since we've moved there. Haha. Anyway. After some down time at the hotel, we went to Memere's apartment to see if there was anything around we'd want to have. I took a few things, including an awesome bag and three boxes of note cards (although, I don't really know who I'll use them on now, since in the past years the people I most frequently wrote to with snail mail was both my grandmothers and now they're both gone), and Cathy and I both put a few pieces of jewelry into a baggie. Mom's going to be back there this weekend to help clean the place, and she'll check to see if it's stuff anyone else wants. Most of Memere's jewelry is very...not sure what the word is. Nothing I'd ever wear. Haha. She definitely had specific tastes. Just part of her charm. But yeah, anyway. Oh this was what I was initially just going to mention in this post: Memere was a packrat. Her closet is like my room on a smaller scale. She saved everything. Cathy even found a box of empty boxes in there. I can't say I don't have something similar. It's pretty funny. Don't worry, though, I am intending to pare down my "stuff" (because that's all it is, and I don't want it tying me down anymore) once I get home. A lofty goal, perhaps, but hopefully I can manage to make myself buckle down and do it.
Anyway. After the venture to her apartment, we went for a little while to the house of one of my mom's brothers. Lots of people were planning on going. I think we might have missed some people because we showed up relatively late, but yeah. We didn't stay terribly long, and came back and just decompressed some more. Ate the rest of the previous night's Chinese. Watched the second of the Final Four games, etc. Went to bed. Or, attempted at least. Mom and I were leaving at 6 or so the next morning, because Mom's flight was at 8. Mine was at 9 like everyone else's, but we had two cars -- Memere's, which Mom had been driving around and is continuing to use now that she's out there again, and a rental which had the carseats and fit the two kids and three big people. So if I hadn't gone with Mom, we wouldn't all have fit in the rental, and so everyone would have had to leave at 6. This way Cathy could sleep a little later and have more time to get the boys ready and whatnot. And let's face it, I've spent lots of time in the airport so it doesn't really bother me much anymore. So that's what I did. Unfortunately I had a heck of a time getting to sleep (of course got hit with a little wave of sadness as I was trying to fall asleep, which doesn't help the falling asleep process). And Jason was bad that night, he kept waking up and such for like three seconds and would cry or say something, yeah. I don't know if I even got two hours of sleep that night. So I got a nice coffee at the airport the next morning (lucky me, there was a Dunkin Donuts right next to my gate, or else I might not have gotten one). Although, it was ridiculously hot and even though I got it a good hour or so before we took off, I still had almost half left when there was still an hour left in the flight. And it was still warm. So, whatever.
The flight was ok. Both there and back, there was no one in the middle seats (both flights were fairly empty compared to what I'm used to, but I guess maybe I typically fly during more peak times? I don't know), so that's always a plus. Since they weren't showing The Office on the flight back, I just slept, and didn't even care to wake up when I noticed them doing the beverages and whatnot (but later, once I did really wake up, I noticed the cookie thing they were giving as the snack there on the middle seat -- one for me and one for the woman who was in the aisle seat, who I think also slept most of the flight. So that was weird, but nice, because I like those cookies). I think, that's right, I let myself sleep because I was afraid I was going to get sick. I was just feeling a bit nauseated, possibly, and air-sicky, so I sat there with my coffee and let myself sleep instead of drinking more of it and making things worse. I am so glad that there's not another airplane in my immediate future. I am so sick of flying that I could just...ugh. I used to enjoy it. I guess that was back when it was fairly rare and infrequent. I hope I never have a job that requires frequent travel. Although, I suppose it might not have been so bad had I not been running on so little sleep. That always makes my stomach somewhat questionable. Especially when it's early in the morning. Anyway. Eventually the flight ended. And I took myself and my bag to the bus area, and didn't have to wait too long until the bus got there, and there were a surprising number of people that got on said bus. I guess I was expecting something more like going from ND to Chicago on Thursday, which included like five people who went to O'Hare. But I guess that's the difference between Thursday evening and Sunday morning.
Anyway. I tried the ol' sit on the window, put my bag on the aisle seat, sort of spread out so I'm taking up both, and look like I'm asleep so that no one would bother me for the other seat. Almost got away with it, too, but then the guy took so long leaving (and he was a bit late to begin with), more people had accumulated outside the bus and he let them in. And even though there were a few more open seats (obviously next to other people), some woman asked if anyone was using my extra seat. I said no, but I wasn't exactly nice about it and think I may have hogged a little more room than I might have normally. To be fair, the person in front of me had her seat back down, so my legs didn't fit well just in my little area. I think once the bus emptied a bit after a few stops, the lady moved elsewhere, but I slept most of the first two hours so I'm not sure where she went. I was very glad that I had decided to do the bus route instead of driving myself, because I was far too exhausted to be making that drive by myself. Although, I was a little annoyed when I finally sort of woke up and saw that we still had more than an hour to go. That bus ride is long sometimes. Especially with this dude. He took some backroads a lot of the way, it seemed, especially the last leg or two. Oh well. I had time to finish the book I had bought Thursday on my way to the bus stop. (Post on that coming soon!)
Anyway. Wow this turned into one long, boring post. That's been happening a lot lately...Well. Long story short, it was a pretty good weekend, and I miss Memere, but it's nice she got such a great send-off, so to speak. Lots of people loved her, and it showed. I'm sure she's happy now.
As for me, I'm sick now. Just a bit. Sore throat, runny/stuffy nose, general cold stuff. I felt it coming last night so I'm not surprised. I'm just hoping today's the worst, and it doesn't last three months like last time.
In the interest of trying to get back to healthy-ish, I should go to bed soon. Bed is good. Especially when it's not a pull-out bed in a hotel room.
Dare I try?
It's 4:20 on a Monday afternoon, and I've got nothing but time. Sure, I have things I should be doing, but nothing immediately pressing. And, bonus, I'm not working tonight. (Great decision by me to request off work both this past Saturday and tonight. I'm quite run down today, and the last thing I need is to stand around for two hours dealing with people. Ugh, people. Haha. Just kidding. Sort of.) So.
First, something that doesn't matter -- I turned on the TV at four, and twice now with two different TV shows (I've been switching around some, and actually am now sitting here with the TV on but on mute. Nothing worth watching, so I'm not sure why it's still on) they've come back from commercials and had a scrawl at bottom or top of the TV informing me, the viewer, that starting at midnight on Feb. 17, 2009, the WORLD WILL END. Or, TV will, if you don't have HD or whatever it is. I wonder, is this something shows are going to be doing after every return from a commercial, from now until it happens? Seems like overkill. It's a weird thing, the whole switching to HD and what it requires for poor schlubs like myself who haven't even made the switch to cable yet. (I mean, at home anyway. Obviously I have cable here, but that's because it's included now.) Anyway. Also speaking of TV, last Thursday there was a bit of an Office marathon, and they played the last four episodes from the current season (which has been on hiatus since the writer's strike). New episodes are starting on Thursday, so I guess they just wanted to catch people up or something. I was excited because I had seen all but those four episodes, and I wanted to see them obviously. Unfortunately, because of things, I was in the air when it came on, so I set up my VCR here to tape them. Went to watch them a bit ago, and found out that instead of two hours of The Office, I have two hours of Dateline. I must have accidentally set it for Friday night instead, I'm guessing, even though I checked and could have sworn it was set for April 3rd. Hm maybe the clock on my TV is wrong... Anyway. Whatever happened, I'm slightly disappointed. Although, I did get to see two of those four on the plane out to Boston. Was hoping that I'd see the other two yesterday from Boston to Chicago, but no such luck -- they played an episode of 30 Rock, which I've never watched, and something that seemed like it was a documentary on glaciers. I slept instead of watching either (although I did wake up later and watched a bit of the glacier thing. It was fairly interesting, actually, but I'm a nerd and like those sorts of things).
Anyway.
So many things to talk about. I'll just mention this first I guess. I went to see my philo professor at 3 today. (That's the class where he wanted to talk to me about my paper because I had gotten two B+s on the two papers we've written, which puts me in last place in the class. Seriously.) I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, me being the worst-case scenario person that I am, plus I had emailed him last night telling him that I probably wouldn't be at class today because I hadn't gotten much sleep this weekend, wasn't feeling well, etc (and I mentioned my grandmother, obviously), but that I'd be at his office hours today. So. I got there and the first thing he said was that he was sorry about my grandmother and he was very glad to see that I hadn't gone to class, because it's important to take care of myself, etc, all that good stuff. So I felt buoyed by that. (And he asked where she was from/where the funeral and such was, and when I told him Massachusetts, he asked what part, and turns out he knows Lowell fairly well. I guess he used to teach in Boston for awhile and knew someone who worked in Lowell or something...anyway. Always sort of exciting to find out that people know my birth city, for some reason.) Then he told me that he just wanted me to know I could probably do better, at least an A-, and that both papers I had been very close to an A- and he had had to think about it awhile. He just wants me to try harder for this last paper, because he thinks I can do quite well if I try a bit more. He also said that it's a problem here that there's not really a lot of push from fellow students, etc, to do better on papers and things. Not competition, necessarily, but there's too much complacency. And I can see that being true. I mean, unless you're in the pre-med program, I think most people here just do what they can and that's that. He said compared to places like Yale and whatnot, there's just not that push, and obviously he doesn't think it's a good thing about ND. Anyway. I know I haven't really felt like pushing myself to do much better since I've been here. I'm sure I could have done lots better in general if I had, but I didn't, so oh well. But maybe I will try in these last three and a half weeks. (Seriously. Three and a half weeks. That's it.)
So not quite the scary "I'm going to kick you out of my class" experience I had been dreading. Which I'm sure will surprise no one. Oh well. Interesting that in four years of college, this is the first time I've had a professor say to me that I can be doing better, and should be trying harder to do better. And I'm getting a B+, not a terrible grade by any means. He's certainly an interesting character.
Ok, I think I'm going to break off most of this post and make it separate. So. More coming.
First, something that doesn't matter -- I turned on the TV at four, and twice now with two different TV shows (I've been switching around some, and actually am now sitting here with the TV on but on mute. Nothing worth watching, so I'm not sure why it's still on) they've come back from commercials and had a scrawl at bottom or top of the TV informing me, the viewer, that starting at midnight on Feb. 17, 2009, the WORLD WILL END. Or, TV will, if you don't have HD or whatever it is. I wonder, is this something shows are going to be doing after every return from a commercial, from now until it happens? Seems like overkill. It's a weird thing, the whole switching to HD and what it requires for poor schlubs like myself who haven't even made the switch to cable yet. (I mean, at home anyway. Obviously I have cable here, but that's because it's included now.) Anyway. Also speaking of TV, last Thursday there was a bit of an Office marathon, and they played the last four episodes from the current season (which has been on hiatus since the writer's strike). New episodes are starting on Thursday, so I guess they just wanted to catch people up or something. I was excited because I had seen all but those four episodes, and I wanted to see them obviously. Unfortunately, because of things, I was in the air when it came on, so I set up my VCR here to tape them. Went to watch them a bit ago, and found out that instead of two hours of The Office, I have two hours of Dateline. I must have accidentally set it for Friday night instead, I'm guessing, even though I checked and could have sworn it was set for April 3rd. Hm maybe the clock on my TV is wrong... Anyway. Whatever happened, I'm slightly disappointed. Although, I did get to see two of those four on the plane out to Boston. Was hoping that I'd see the other two yesterday from Boston to Chicago, but no such luck -- they played an episode of 30 Rock, which I've never watched, and something that seemed like it was a documentary on glaciers. I slept instead of watching either (although I did wake up later and watched a bit of the glacier thing. It was fairly interesting, actually, but I'm a nerd and like those sorts of things).
Anyway.
So many things to talk about. I'll just mention this first I guess. I went to see my philo professor at 3 today. (That's the class where he wanted to talk to me about my paper because I had gotten two B+s on the two papers we've written, which puts me in last place in the class. Seriously.) I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, me being the worst-case scenario person that I am, plus I had emailed him last night telling him that I probably wouldn't be at class today because I hadn't gotten much sleep this weekend, wasn't feeling well, etc (and I mentioned my grandmother, obviously), but that I'd be at his office hours today. So. I got there and the first thing he said was that he was sorry about my grandmother and he was very glad to see that I hadn't gone to class, because it's important to take care of myself, etc, all that good stuff. So I felt buoyed by that. (And he asked where she was from/where the funeral and such was, and when I told him Massachusetts, he asked what part, and turns out he knows Lowell fairly well. I guess he used to teach in Boston for awhile and knew someone who worked in Lowell or something...anyway. Always sort of exciting to find out that people know my birth city, for some reason.) Then he told me that he just wanted me to know I could probably do better, at least an A-, and that both papers I had been very close to an A- and he had had to think about it awhile. He just wants me to try harder for this last paper, because he thinks I can do quite well if I try a bit more. He also said that it's a problem here that there's not really a lot of push from fellow students, etc, to do better on papers and things. Not competition, necessarily, but there's too much complacency. And I can see that being true. I mean, unless you're in the pre-med program, I think most people here just do what they can and that's that. He said compared to places like Yale and whatnot, there's just not that push, and obviously he doesn't think it's a good thing about ND. Anyway. I know I haven't really felt like pushing myself to do much better since I've been here. I'm sure I could have done lots better in general if I had, but I didn't, so oh well. But maybe I will try in these last three and a half weeks. (Seriously. Three and a half weeks. That's it.)
So not quite the scary "I'm going to kick you out of my class" experience I had been dreading. Which I'm sure will surprise no one. Oh well. Interesting that in four years of college, this is the first time I've had a professor say to me that I can be doing better, and should be trying harder to do better. And I'm getting a B+, not a terrible grade by any means. He's certainly an interesting character.
Ok, I think I'm going to break off most of this post and make it separate. So. More coming.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
So much to write, so much else that must be done
I really really really want to make a post. I have so much to say! And -- here's a shocker -- it's not really negative or whiny! How exciting! Alas, I must do other things first. Like sleep. Although I'd rather write than sleep, but before I sleep I have to get a bit more schoolwork out of the way. And then I need to sleep. Haven't decided yet if I'll go to my class tomorrow. I could easily sleep something like 15 hours though, I think, so...probably won't make it. Aside from the tiredness, I'm just feeling run down. I'm sure the two are related, but yeah. I have major-ish things going on every week that's left (which is only three and a half, plus finals), so...eh. Actually, I guess after this week I only have a presentation for history (which is going to suck. Big time. I hate presentations, and he wants us to be "creative." What the heck does that mean?), the final draft of the history paper, and the last philo paper, and both of those papers are due that last half week of school we have. April 29 and 30. So that'll be fun. Sigh. I'm actually looking forward to finals. I'd rather do those than the remaining papers and presentation I have. But whatever.
I've already written more than I wanted to. But two things before I go: One, last week they finally told us who'd be speaking at graduation. It's Cardinal McCarrick, former Archbishop of Washington. I think it's pretty cool, even if most other people are sort of disappointed about the lack of someone more flashy. And Two, Mom found out a few days ago that she got a ticket to the Pope's Mass in Washington next week! She had applied because there was a trade show there she could go to, so she figured why not. How often is the Pope in the US when she'd have the opportunity to go see him? So she gets to go. I'm jealous, but it's really cool for her. She and Dad were at a Mass when JPII was here (in the US, at least -- I think it was Boston) back in...1979? Lucky her. Anyway. She's had a crazy month. Week in Dallas before Easter, Easter weekend at home, then in Lowell from March 24 until today. Tomorrow she goes back to Boston for another trade show (obviously this had been scheduled awhile ago), and is staying there the weekend (initially it was to spend the weekend with Memere as she always did when she was in Boston for a trade show) to help clean out Memere's apartment and whatnot, and then from there she's going to DC until next Thursday. It's crazy. And she won't even have a full month before she comes out here for my graduation. But after that, I think she'll be home for awhile.
Anyway. Now I've spent way too much time here. Must get to it, whatever "it" is. (If only I could get paid for blogging, I'd be supremely happy.)
I've already written more than I wanted to. But two things before I go: One, last week they finally told us who'd be speaking at graduation. It's Cardinal McCarrick, former Archbishop of Washington. I think it's pretty cool, even if most other people are sort of disappointed about the lack of someone more flashy. And Two, Mom found out a few days ago that she got a ticket to the Pope's Mass in Washington next week! She had applied because there was a trade show there she could go to, so she figured why not. How often is the Pope in the US when she'd have the opportunity to go see him? So she gets to go. I'm jealous, but it's really cool for her. She and Dad were at a Mass when JPII was here (in the US, at least -- I think it was Boston) back in...1979? Lucky her. Anyway. She's had a crazy month. Week in Dallas before Easter, Easter weekend at home, then in Lowell from March 24 until today. Tomorrow she goes back to Boston for another trade show (obviously this had been scheduled awhile ago), and is staying there the weekend (initially it was to spend the weekend with Memere as she always did when she was in Boston for a trade show) to help clean out Memere's apartment and whatnot, and then from there she's going to DC until next Thursday. It's crazy. And she won't even have a full month before she comes out here for my graduation. But after that, I think she'll be home for awhile.
Anyway. Now I've spent way too much time here. Must get to it, whatever "it" is. (If only I could get paid for blogging, I'd be supremely happy.)
Back
It's been a long, difficult weekend (and week...and month), but I'm back. It was good, as good as a funeral can be. Obviously good that I went. I feel like such a different person than when I left, somehow.
Long post coming up. Probably tonight, even though I have tons else I should be doing. Like sleeping. Because man, I haven't been this exhausted in a long time.
Anyway. I'm back. And it was so good to see the Dome, first getting into South Bend and then as we drove up ND Ave. It's like nothing else.
Long post coming up. Probably tonight, even though I have tons else I should be doing. Like sleeping. Because man, I haven't been this exhausted in a long time.
Anyway. I'm back. And it was so good to see the Dome, first getting into South Bend and then as we drove up ND Ave. It's like nothing else.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Empty...
I'm not sure what to write.
Memere died a little less than two hours ago. Obviously not surprising (it's surprising she hung on that long today), but it's...weird. This person who's been in my life for my whole life, and who's been pretty old for my whole life (so the thought has always been there, sort of, lingering in the background)...and now just like that, she's gone.
Anyway. I don't really have much to say. I'm flying out of O'Hare tomorrow night at 8:45. Getting into Boston just after midnight, where Tom, Dad, Cathy, and the boys will fly in from Denver a half hour later. Somehow it was cheaper to get my flight in conjunction with a rental car, so we're doing that. Staying in a hotel. The wake or whatever is Friday evening or something, funeral Saturday, and we fly out Sunday morning.
And then I get to come back here and go about my regular life, I guess. Ugh. Might have to take Monday off. (Hm. Grandmom died on a Wednesday too. We flew out Thursday, came back Sunday. I took that Monday off from school.)
I do find it interesting, and appropriate, and even almost nice, that she died on the anniversary of JPII's death. I don't know why, or how it'd make a difference. But for me, somehow, it does.
Anyway, I'm not bringing this thing with me (longest I've been without it for...awhile), and I don't know what kind of computer access I'll have, so yeah. I'm so tempted to take it in case I can get Internet somewhere, but...it'll only really be two full days. I'll be back here by Sunday afternoon. So even if it is my security blanket, I'm sure it'll be better for me if I just step away for awhile.
Bleh. See you all Sunday I guess.
Memere died a little less than two hours ago. Obviously not surprising (it's surprising she hung on that long today), but it's...weird. This person who's been in my life for my whole life, and who's been pretty old for my whole life (so the thought has always been there, sort of, lingering in the background)...and now just like that, she's gone.
Anyway. I don't really have much to say. I'm flying out of O'Hare tomorrow night at 8:45. Getting into Boston just after midnight, where Tom, Dad, Cathy, and the boys will fly in from Denver a half hour later. Somehow it was cheaper to get my flight in conjunction with a rental car, so we're doing that. Staying in a hotel. The wake or whatever is Friday evening or something, funeral Saturday, and we fly out Sunday morning.
And then I get to come back here and go about my regular life, I guess. Ugh. Might have to take Monday off. (Hm. Grandmom died on a Wednesday too. We flew out Thursday, came back Sunday. I took that Monday off from school.)
I do find it interesting, and appropriate, and even almost nice, that she died on the anniversary of JPII's death. I don't know why, or how it'd make a difference. But for me, somehow, it does.
Anyway, I'm not bringing this thing with me (longest I've been without it for...awhile), and I don't know what kind of computer access I'll have, so yeah. I'm so tempted to take it in case I can get Internet somewhere, but...it'll only really be two full days. I'll be back here by Sunday afternoon. So even if it is my security blanket, I'm sure it'll be better for me if I just step away for awhile.
Bleh. See you all Sunday I guess.
Proof of my failure
It's a terrible feeling having to go in and talk to your professor because your paper was so bad -- and you got a B+ on it. Apparently that doesn't cut it in this class.
Can't wait to hear what he has to say. I'll have to wait until Monday though. Assuming I'm here Monday.
I sort of just want to give up.
Can't wait to hear what he has to say. I'll have to wait until Monday though. Assuming I'm here Monday.
I sort of just want to give up.
Haze
I should be...doing anything else right now. Sleeping, reading, ...I guess those are pretty much my only two options. But I'm doing neither. I can't concentrate on anything. I don't know if I'd be able to fall asleep right now. I sort of don't want to sleep because I don't want to wake up to what I probably will wake up to. I have all sorts of stupid pointless thoughts running around in my head. Wondering if it'll happen tonight or sometime later tomorrow (because that will impact when the funeral is). If it's tonight/early tomorrow, funeral will be on Friday, I'll be flying out of South Bend on Thursday morning. If it's sometime later (I'm not quite sure what would be considered later, though), funeral and whatnot will be Monday. So I'll either be gone Thurs-Sat, I guess, or Mon-Wed. If I have to leave Thursday, it doesn't leave a lot of time to get things done. I'm supposed to write a paper for Thursday. Obviously falls a bit lower on the importance scale, but there it is. We're supposed to be fitted for cap and gown on Thursday. I think they're also doing it tomorrow, so I guess if I need to, I can do it then instead. I don't think I have a pair of nylons to wear. I don't even have deodorant at the moment. (The one time I run out and need to get it from the Huddle, and all they have is men's deodorant.) I have no idea what to wear to the funeral. I just feel so unprepared for all of this.
I feel so...I don't even know. Restless. Drained. And for some reason, all I can think about is getting a puppy. I have nothing really to look forward to (I suppose graduation is something, but also sort of not), and I need happiness in my life. I don't think it'll be hard to persuade my parents. So I'm just...latching onto that. If I could, I'd go out and get one right now. I wish I had it as a distraction, a comfort, something to give me some happiness. I don't even care about the next seven weeks (almost). I know I need to enjoy them, and I'll try, but I know that in the end all it'll lead to is more pain, and I'm sick of pain. I just want to get home and get a puppy. I'm sure I'm setting myself up for more disappointment, as always seems to happen when I start looking forward to anything, but it's all I have right now. And I'm on the verge of losing it, so I need to take what I can get.
You know what I hate? Our culture's insistence on adding "How are you" as a greeting. It's rarely asked in a context in which you can actually truthfully answer, so the typical response is almost invariably the grammatically-incorrect "Good." (It's awkward to answer "Well" when the question is phrased "How are you", but it works if you are asked "How are you doing?") I usually answer "I'm ok" because no one who asks really cares. And, being a cashier, I get asked a lot. To the point where I really hate it because no one ever means it, and on nights like tonight, I'm left simply to lie, because tonight I was pretty far from ok. But I'm not about to say how I really am to someone who just wants me to scan his Powerade, swipe his card, and him to be on his merry way. Even the people I work with, two per shift, an hour per person. No one really wants to know that I'm upset because my grandmother is dying. It just makes for an awkward situation. It's even awkward with friends. There's nothing anyone can say that's going to make it better, so why make them feel weird about it by telling them? Not to say I won't tell my friends when it happens, as they might wonder what happened to me if I leave for three days without telling anyone I was going.
Man, right now I envy my friends, none of whom are wondering whether they'll be gone this weekend or next week. None of whom are trying to figure out how to fit yet another goodbye into their lives. They get to keep going, doing their best to finish out their senior year as happy and memorable as possible. This sucks. It really does. But when God calls, I guess there's not much we can do.
I want to turn on a movie to have something to distract myself, but I don't know if I'd be able to tolerate the noise. It's so quiet in here except for the soothing humming of my fans.
Gah I should just go to bed. I know I should. There's nothing served by depriving myself of sleep. Especially when I've gotten close to enough sleep only one night in the past week and a half. I don't want to go to class tomorrow. That class has become difficult to tolerate under the best of circumstances. And tomorrow he's going to tell us what we did wrong on our papers. Seeing as how I got one of the lowest grades in the class (yes, it's still a decent grade, and there are only twelve of us, and blah blah blah), I just don't really feel like having to listen to that. But he'll probably also tell us what we're supposed to do for our last paper, which might be beneficial to know. Whatever. It's just one class. And then of course work. Work's always a good time.
Tomorrow (well, today now) is the anniversary of JPII's death. It was that event that started me going to daily Mass. I hadn't ever really gone prior to him dying, but then I went sometime the week after he died, I think for a special Mass for him or something, and realized how lovely it is. And the love affair with the Basilica (and daily mass) began. And I have less than seven weeks until I have to break it off (from the Basilica, at least, as well as easy access to Mass). But then I can (hopefully) get a puppy. Which is a lot more capable of returning the love (than the Basilica is). I was quite sad when he died. I was actually working a shift at the Huddle when it happened, or at least when they announced it on whatever news station was on covering it. I remember having to keep from crying right there during my shift. Hm.
Know what? I've always wanted to work at the library. But they never wanted me. (Story of my life.) And believe me, I've tried. And now I have to find a full-time job, and for the most part the only full-time options at the library are ones that require Masters in Library Science or something like that, or other experience and credentials I don't have. Sad for me, I guess.
Know what's weird? Lately I've been randomly doing things out of my routine. Like the other day in the shower, instead of going for the shampoo first like I've done every single shower I've taken since I was like...I don't know, 14?, I grabbed the body wash. I never do that before I was my hair, but I did. And it was bizarre the whole time. Didn't even realize it until I was halfway through. And I've just noticed the past few days, nothing big, but teeny things I always normally do one way, I randomly change. I think my whole life just feels out of whack lately. I don't like it. I like routine, I like things to stay the same. For the most part. And they haven't been lately, and there's not much hope for recovery in the near future. Not until after I get home, at least. Sigh.
Well, I guess I'm going to go read CS Lewis. I was supposed to write my second paper for that class next week, but I really liked the readings this week (on paper, anyway -- I haven't finished the nonfiction stuff yet. But it looks really good) and didn't want to do it next week (I may have mentioned that recently), so I asked around and it worked out better for someone to switch with me, so now I have the paper to do this week. And I'm fine with that (obviously I didn't exactly foresee all this other stuff). But it does require me getting the nonfiction reading done and figuring out something to write about, which will hopefully come together in a paper that gets me a grade I can be happy about. Because you know what? I haven't been (nor had reason to be) happy about a single grade I've gotten this semester. And not many last semester either. It may not really matter much, but it's sort of depressing. (But then, what's not depressing to me lately?)
Anyway. Gonna get to that reading I guess.
I feel so...I don't even know. Restless. Drained. And for some reason, all I can think about is getting a puppy. I have nothing really to look forward to (I suppose graduation is something, but also sort of not), and I need happiness in my life. I don't think it'll be hard to persuade my parents. So I'm just...latching onto that. If I could, I'd go out and get one right now. I wish I had it as a distraction, a comfort, something to give me some happiness. I don't even care about the next seven weeks (almost). I know I need to enjoy them, and I'll try, but I know that in the end all it'll lead to is more pain, and I'm sick of pain. I just want to get home and get a puppy. I'm sure I'm setting myself up for more disappointment, as always seems to happen when I start looking forward to anything, but it's all I have right now. And I'm on the verge of losing it, so I need to take what I can get.
You know what I hate? Our culture's insistence on adding "How are you" as a greeting. It's rarely asked in a context in which you can actually truthfully answer, so the typical response is almost invariably the grammatically-incorrect "Good." (It's awkward to answer "Well" when the question is phrased "How are you", but it works if you are asked "How are you doing?") I usually answer "I'm ok" because no one who asks really cares. And, being a cashier, I get asked a lot. To the point where I really hate it because no one ever means it, and on nights like tonight, I'm left simply to lie, because tonight I was pretty far from ok. But I'm not about to say how I really am to someone who just wants me to scan his Powerade, swipe his card, and him to be on his merry way. Even the people I work with, two per shift, an hour per person. No one really wants to know that I'm upset because my grandmother is dying. It just makes for an awkward situation. It's even awkward with friends. There's nothing anyone can say that's going to make it better, so why make them feel weird about it by telling them? Not to say I won't tell my friends when it happens, as they might wonder what happened to me if I leave for three days without telling anyone I was going.
Man, right now I envy my friends, none of whom are wondering whether they'll be gone this weekend or next week. None of whom are trying to figure out how to fit yet another goodbye into their lives. They get to keep going, doing their best to finish out their senior year as happy and memorable as possible. This sucks. It really does. But when God calls, I guess there's not much we can do.
I want to turn on a movie to have something to distract myself, but I don't know if I'd be able to tolerate the noise. It's so quiet in here except for the soothing humming of my fans.
Gah I should just go to bed. I know I should. There's nothing served by depriving myself of sleep. Especially when I've gotten close to enough sleep only one night in the past week and a half. I don't want to go to class tomorrow. That class has become difficult to tolerate under the best of circumstances. And tomorrow he's going to tell us what we did wrong on our papers. Seeing as how I got one of the lowest grades in the class (yes, it's still a decent grade, and there are only twelve of us, and blah blah blah), I just don't really feel like having to listen to that. But he'll probably also tell us what we're supposed to do for our last paper, which might be beneficial to know. Whatever. It's just one class. And then of course work. Work's always a good time.
Tomorrow (well, today now) is the anniversary of JPII's death. It was that event that started me going to daily Mass. I hadn't ever really gone prior to him dying, but then I went sometime the week after he died, I think for a special Mass for him or something, and realized how lovely it is. And the love affair with the Basilica (and daily mass) began. And I have less than seven weeks until I have to break it off (from the Basilica, at least, as well as easy access to Mass). But then I can (hopefully) get a puppy. Which is a lot more capable of returning the love (than the Basilica is). I was quite sad when he died. I was actually working a shift at the Huddle when it happened, or at least when they announced it on whatever news station was on covering it. I remember having to keep from crying right there during my shift. Hm.
Know what? I've always wanted to work at the library. But they never wanted me. (Story of my life.) And believe me, I've tried. And now I have to find a full-time job, and for the most part the only full-time options at the library are ones that require Masters in Library Science or something like that, or other experience and credentials I don't have. Sad for me, I guess.
Know what's weird? Lately I've been randomly doing things out of my routine. Like the other day in the shower, instead of going for the shampoo first like I've done every single shower I've taken since I was like...I don't know, 14?, I grabbed the body wash. I never do that before I was my hair, but I did. And it was bizarre the whole time. Didn't even realize it until I was halfway through. And I've just noticed the past few days, nothing big, but teeny things I always normally do one way, I randomly change. I think my whole life just feels out of whack lately. I don't like it. I like routine, I like things to stay the same. For the most part. And they haven't been lately, and there's not much hope for recovery in the near future. Not until after I get home, at least. Sigh.
Well, I guess I'm going to go read CS Lewis. I was supposed to write my second paper for that class next week, but I really liked the readings this week (on paper, anyway -- I haven't finished the nonfiction stuff yet. But it looks really good) and didn't want to do it next week (I may have mentioned that recently), so I asked around and it worked out better for someone to switch with me, so now I have the paper to do this week. And I'm fine with that (obviously I didn't exactly foresee all this other stuff). But it does require me getting the nonfiction reading done and figuring out something to write about, which will hopefully come together in a paper that gets me a grade I can be happy about. Because you know what? I haven't been (nor had reason to be) happy about a single grade I've gotten this semester. And not many last semester either. It may not really matter much, but it's sort of depressing. (But then, what's not depressing to me lately?)
Anyway. Gonna get to that reading I guess.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
No title here.
There's so much sadness and terror and just plain unpleasantness in real life, I just don't understand why people have to create more for us to watch as entertainment. Maybe because if it's "entertainment" people can separate themselves from it. But even still. It just doesn't make sense to me. (Seeing a commercial for whatever that new horror movie is, the one with Brittany Snow of American Dreams fame, about some teacher who's stalking a high school girl or something, is what really annoyed me enough to write this. Among other things.)
Right now, everywhere thing seem to be very emotional, either on the bad end or the good end of the scale. It seems like every blog I read, frequently or infrequently, has some sort of news this week. Both bad and good. And then there are stories of friends or acquaintances of these people. And obviously life always happens, and there's always stuff like this going on, but it sure feels like there's been an extra lot more happening the past week or so. And it's just...overwhelming. Because in the middle of trying to pray for all these people, I'm dealing with my own stuff. Like the fact that I talked to my grandmother for the last time this afternoon. She might last the night, but if she does, it probably won't be much longer than that. She's ready to go. So we just have to accept it, wait, and be as ready as we can, too.
But I gotta tell you, that doesn't make it suck any less. God knows best, I know, but...man.
Right now, everywhere thing seem to be very emotional, either on the bad end or the good end of the scale. It seems like every blog I read, frequently or infrequently, has some sort of news this week. Both bad and good. And then there are stories of friends or acquaintances of these people. And obviously life always happens, and there's always stuff like this going on, but it sure feels like there's been an extra lot more happening the past week or so. And it's just...overwhelming. Because in the middle of trying to pray for all these people, I'm dealing with my own stuff. Like the fact that I talked to my grandmother for the last time this afternoon. She might last the night, but if she does, it probably won't be much longer than that. She's ready to go. So we just have to accept it, wait, and be as ready as we can, too.
But I gotta tell you, that doesn't make it suck any less. God knows best, I know, but...man.
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