Nails on a chalkboard, indeed

Sometimes, I'll be sitting in class and the teacher might be writing on the blackboard with some chalk. And even though it doesn't happen in reality, I imagine the horrible sound of nails scratching on the blackboard, and I can't help but cringe--even though, again, it doesn't really happen. It's a really terrible feeling. I wonder why that is. Why that thing can make so many people shudder? It's kind of bizarre. Of course, I get that too when I accidentally bite down on my fork or something when I'm eating, when I wasn't expecting to bite it. It's just weird. And I don't like it.

Nothing much to say

I really don't have anything to write about, not particularly. Yet I feel a desire to. I just get antsy when I haven't written anything in awhile, whether it's here or somewhere more private. So here I am. Even though I should go to sleep. Oh well.

I need to do laundry. The thing I really hate about my schedule this semester is the fact that I never have afternoons off. Well, I mean, I'm done by 3 or 4 most days, but yeah. If I got done at 12 or 1 even one day a week it'd be really nice. I don't like to do laundry at night because it's always crowded, and I can't do it too late in the afternoon because then I'll like go to Mass or dinner or something and leave it sitting there, and I don't like to do that either. I should have gotten up earlier today and done it, but I slept in too long. So...yeah. I don't know. I'll get to it eventually, one of these days.

I like tea. And apparently, the kind of tea I like (that I get from the Huddle) is a Fair Trade brand. Specifically, I like their Mango Ceylon, their Northwest Blackberry, and their Chai Black Spice Tea or whatever it is. Good stuff.

I wore my Red Sox hat at work today, and it was weird. The few times I've worn it so far, I get comments about it, at least a few each time. I've gotten "So, are you from Boston, or are you just a fan?" And it's weird. I mean, would I get those comments if I wore like...a Rockies hat? (haha, that's so funny, like anyone would actually wear Rockies paraphrenalia.) I guess maybe lots of people are Red Sox bandwagon fans or something. I do see Red Sox hats a lot more than a lot of other teams. But that's probably just because they're awesome. (Although, I will admit: I'm much more of a Patriots fan than a Red Sox fan. But that's mostly just because I'm a much bigger football fan than a baseball fan these days. I'd still love to go to a Red Sox game sometime. That'd be really cool. But I'd also really love a Patriots hat. I think they're a tad harder to find than Red Sox hats though.)

It's nice having friends who understand where you're coming from with some things. Hm.

Still haven't decided about the whole living on or off campus next year. I need to decide fairly soon, though. Argh. It's frustrating. For the pure convenience and such, I want to stay on. But for the company, I want to go off. I mean, those are the friends I'm closest to, and have been for most of the last three years. It's not like if I stay on I'll never see them, but I don't know. Sigh. I'll figure it out, I know I will.

Katherine wants to start watching Lost, but unlike me, she's not willing to jump in in the middle of a season. (I didn't start watching until halfway through 2nd season, so I was more than a little confused often, and still don't get everything as I still haven't seen most of the first season and some of the 2nd season.) So she borrowed the first season DVDs and now we're watching them. It's interesting watching them knowing what'll happen later on. But I can't say too much because she'll probably kill me if I tell her everything that happens. She's kind of mean. haha. just kidding.

Dude, did you know it's already almost March? That really snuck up on me, mostly because February's only 28 days I think. I mean, usually when a month gets to the 27th or 28th day, you still have at least two before the end. Not so with February. Crazy month that it is.

Yeah I don't know.

Two things

First, this is my 461st post on blogger. I've had this since August. Well, for longer than that, but that's when I started using it. So in around 6 months, give or take, I've managed to make 461 posts. That's crazy.

Second, laptops and vitamins don't mix. At least not if the vitamins are a whole bottle of them, and not when said bottle decides to launch itself from the shelf onto my laptop keyboard. It kind of causes the laptop to get pissed and immediately to go the Blue Screen of DEATH. Luckily, I was able to break up this fight by putting the vitamins back where they belong, and by turning off and then back on the computer. Haha that sounds weird. But anyway. I was slightly very concerned for a minute there (and kept thinking to myself, I knew this would happen, one of these days one of these bottles will slip from my hand, and it won't be pretty). Things seem ok now though. Hopefully there's no internal bleeding...

What to buy?

Ok. I still have yet to buy any CDs. (It's almost like I need to get parental approval before I'll feel able to do it.) I have five possibles I'm going to buy, and I haven't yet decided how many I want to get. These are the top five: Celtic Woman's new CD, which has gone down in price yet again (when I first put it in my shopping cart, way back in January sometime, it was $20.99 and now it's like $11.99. A few days ago it was $14.99, so the new price is a nice surprise). That one's a definite. Then there's Appalachian Journey, which I think is also a definite. And then Appalachia Waltz, which I haven't really heard (whereas I've heard some of the songs on Appalachian Journey), but the little clips that I can listen to do quite attract me to the CD. Then there's this one, the classical CD that I've been wanting for well over a year now, but for some reason I'm not as drawn to it at the moment as I am a few of these others. The last one is also a Celtic Woman-related one, but it's just one of the singers, my favorite. So yeah. I'll probably end up getting at least three, because I want to get the free shipping (might as well, right?), but I just don't know. I think I want to get the two Celtic Woman CDs and the Appalachian Journey. Those are the ones that I'm really salivating for at the moment. Ok maybe not quite that, but yeah. I suppose it'd make more sense to get like the classical CD instead of the solo Celtic Woman CD, since some of her songs are on the Celtic Woman CD I already have, but a lot of them aren't, and I am in love with her voice. How could you not be? So I think that's what I'm going to do. It's $35 for those three together, which isn't bad for three CDs. I still probably won't hit the "buy" button for another five days though, just because that's who I am. Either way, I'm just going to get them shipped to home, so I should do it sooner than later. It'll just be easier to do it that way. Especially since I have no reason to have CDs here. So anyway.

Thanks, Internet, for helping me through this decision.

So violated

I just got back from our weekly movie screening. This week it was Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing. As a movie, I guess it's ok, and I suppose it got its point across. But by the end of the movie I was just trying to survive the rest of it, closing my ears to as much as possible. I don't think I've seen a movie that repeated the f word so many times. Every single character, more or less, practically every sentence (and sometimes more than once a sentence). And oh my gosh I couldn't take it. That, coupled with the fact that a lot of them were said while there was a lot of yelling and loud noises going on, made me want to leave so badly. In a different way than I wanted to leave Miami Vice though. Man. I mean, I know there's conflict in the world and such, and I know most people aren't as...I don't know, whatever I am as much as I am, but geez. I can't stand movies like that. I realize that I guess it was partially necessary to get the point across. Although, not completely. (The last episode of the first or second season of American Dreams comes to mind, when there were riots in Philadelphia and I guess a lot of the same kind of themes, and nary a curse word was uttered in that depiction. But it's a different genre, a different audience, a different time period, etc.) Regardless, I feel almost dirty right now. Because not only did I have to endure listening to all that yelling and that word over and over and over, I can still hear it in my head because it was yelled so. many. times. And it wasn't just that. There were lots of curse words uttered, yelled, said in the movie. G-dd--n was one that was said a lot. I'm definitely not a fan of that word either. And it was just all very stressful to have to sit there and listen to them all over and over and over and over. I mean, it very much distracted me from the rest of the film itself, the parts I really should have been focusing on. Maybe it's a flaw in me that it distracted me to that point, but whatever. It did, and now all I want is to listen to some soothing music (and watching something like Anne of Green Gables would be lovely too. Clean out my head with some wholly wholesome entertainment. My kind of stuff).

See, this is what I'm talking about when I say I don't want to see a movie because it has stuff in it I'd object to. "Who's it going to hurt?" and "It's just a few scenes" and "It's just some words" or my favorite, "It's funny; they're just jokes" (that one wouldn't be as applicable to tonight's movie, but that's ok). It hurts me. It affects me. People don't seem to believe that what they see and hear and experience affect them, but it does. It leaves an imprint on you, whether or not you want to believe it. I mean, seeing scenes of violence doesn't mean you're immediately going to go out and kill someone or set fire to a store or something, but it does affect you. When I see these movies with bad words, with lots of violence, with sex scenes, I can't not see them again. They're there forever. I might eventually forget them, but it's there. "But the movie has a good message, we can learn a lot from it!" Great. Lots of other movies have good messages without offending me in the process. To make it applicable to tonight's movie, I'm pretty sure that Martin Luther King advocated non-violence, and I'm also pretty sure his speeches weren't filled with lots of angry rhetoric and hate-filled words. And he got that message across pretty well. I know, his speeches and stuff weren't movies, but you get my point I hope. I don't know. I just like to complain about this stuff, I'm sorry. Maybe this whole being in a film class wasn't the best idea. Unfortunately, I hadn't really thought of the possibility of this kind of stuff when I registered. I guess I figured we'd be watching more older films, those generally regarded as classics. You know, movies that have a lot less direct violence and language and sex. Whatever.

It's Monday

First things first: The test went ok-ish, I suppose. I didn't feel too confident about the essay (how could you possibly feel confident about an essay that's worth half the points of the test, and which you write in the last 20 minutes of class?), and I'm not sure I got all the information I was supposed to for some of the IDs, but I guess it could have been worse in the end. Eh whatever. I'll find out how I really did soon enough I suppose.

Nothing else of note really happened today. I keep wanting to watch Anne of Green Gables. You can probably guess what I'm going to try to do over spring break. Not like I'll have a whole lot else to do (which, by the way, sounds GLORIOUS).

My trads prof said the f word in class today. (I always feel like such a five year old when I say the phrase "the f word." But I really really dislike it, so what else am I going to call it?) It was surprising, and surprisingly annoying. I mean, one of my TAs (the FTT one) says it several times each Friday during our tutorial. Bothers me then, too, but it's just like everyone else around me. Kind of expected, therefore not quite as jarring. But to hear it come out of my probably around 50 year old Christian Traditions professor's mouth was unexpected. I mean, I guess I've heard my dad say it here and there on occasion (usually under his breath, of course, and normally only as an exclamation), but this was just in the middle of class, and as an adjective. Which, to me, seems quite a bit more unnecessary. I mean, saying it as an exclamation is one thing. That's my most constant use of swear words that I can't help, because it just comes out. But to use it as an adjective is different. I try not to use swear words as adjectives when I can help it, when they don't just slip out. Or I guess a noun. I don't know. Either way, I would really rather not hear my theo professor say it. I'd rather not hear anyone say it, but apparently I'm fighting a losing battle there. At least those whom I spend the most time around know to try and cover it up at the very least. I mean, I know it's just a word. But I don't like it. And that's just the way it is.

I was reading something today, and they mentioned some of the incidences of 40 in the Bible (you know, Jesus' 40 days in the desert, the wandering for 40 days, etc), and then said something about how it's probably 40 (and not some other number) because a pregnancy lasts for 40 weeks (well, give or take, but yeah). And while this was probably an obvious connection made years ago by most people, I had never thought of that. They're all kind of similar. 40 units of time followed by relief, a birth of some sort. It's kind of a really cool way of looking at it, tying it in with pregnancy like that. With the newness that comes at the end. I mean, how many times in our lives are we forced to go through a period of suffering, pain, discomfort, only to be greatly rewarded in the end by something new that came out of the suffering? Suffering is so often seen as a bad thing by people, but really sometimes it's absolutely necessary, and even good. Life can't be all good all the time, only sunshine and butterflies and rainbows. Besides, even to have a rainbow you need a little rain. And to appreciate the rest you need the opposite. And you know what's really awesome about the whole thing? God's always there with us. When we're at our lowest, or, as the case may be during Lent, our most vulnerable, most tempted, we're not alone. God doesn't expect us to do it all on our own. And that's pretty cool, or at least it'd be really cool if I could manage to remember that I don't have to do it all by myself. It's not me versus me, it's me and God versus whatever.

Anyway.

Tonight will be spent at the DPAC watching Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing, followed hopefully by an hour or two of productivity, and with any luck, an early bedtime. Early meaning anything at or around midnight. My goal for this week is not to leave everything until Thursday night. Thursday night is the night people go to The Feve. One of these weeks, I've told Katherine I'll accompany her. Perhaps not a great idea with 4 classes the next day including an 8:30, but if I can stay up until 5:30 before those days (or even the days with 5 classes, and an 8:30), then I think I can do a night at a club...haha. I don't know. We'll see. I don't even know if she's going this week, but it'd be nice to be done regardless. Hopefully I can get my butt in gear and do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Coffee, tea or other beverage? Oh man. That one's tough. A week ago, it'd be coffee, easily. But lately, tea has been winning out over coffee. I mean, I can get it for 65 cents at the huddle (much cheaper than coffee there or at starbucks), and it's SO GOOD. As I've just discovered. I never knew how good tea could be. And probably less calories too. And better for you.

Are you a morning bird or a night owl? It's 2:20am. take a wild guess.

Do you have a favorite verse of Scripture? I have a few. Not really off the top of my head, but they're there.

What is your favorite book of the Bible? Hm. Not sure that I really have one. I am a fan of John, but I also like the Old Testament books that are stories of people. Exodus is pretty cool.

Which do you prefer, pen or pencil? I write in pencil on very rare occasions nowadays.

Laptop or desktop? Laptops rule all.

When you write do you print or use cursive? Generally cursive, as it looks less like boy-handwriting. Although it's my own special blend of cursive and print. But mostly cursive.

Do you plan your menus or do you just wing it? haha. This question's not very applicable to me. But if it were, I think I'd say I like to have things planned out. Not too far in advance, but perhaps a week at most.

Favorite color? I don't really know. I mean, it was always yellow when I was little and stuff, and I do still like yellow for nostalgic reasons, but to look at, I'm a big fan of purples and blues. To wear is a different answer altogether.

Favorite form of exercise? Walking. I really like to hike but do it far too rarely.

How do you wear your hair most days? Depends. If I have more time, usually I straighten it and keep it down, or half-ponytail it. Sometimes I let it air-dry and then it's a little wavy but messier looking (I wish I had more curl in my hair so it looked a little better when I do that). Sometimes if I'm in a rush I just put it up. And I don't like to do the same thing too many days in a row either.

Which do you prefer, baking or cooking? No clue. Probably baking as cooking involves raw meat at times.

In the house are you barefoot, in slippers or in shoes? Usually in socks, although not in the summer. Then it's usually barefoot.

Do you wash dishes by hand or have a dishwasher? I don't do either at the moment. At home we do both, although I admit I don't do much of the washing by hand myself.

Do you have pets? My baby puppy (who's almost...13, I believe, or is it 14? No, I think 13), and our fat chicken (who is really a cat. But a very fat one all the same).

What do you eat for breakfast? Breakfast? Huh?

Tell me one thing you love about your state. Mountains. Oh, the mountains.

What is your favorite magazine? I'm not really much of a magazine reader anymore. I suppose I'll thumb through Reader's Digest and Catholic Digest when I'm at home.

Oh man.

I've been productive tonight. I have a test tomorrow (Middle Ages, my last class of the day, of course, so I'll be worrying about it all day instead of being able to get it over with) and I've been studying for it since like 7pm. Or thereabouts. And I seriously don't feel like I know anything. I mean, I know some things, but I have a feeling it's nowhere near the specifics that I need to know to do well. There's so much freaking information to remember. He gave us a list of like 33 terms, and there'll be 8 on the test tomorrow, and we have to pick 6 of them and do identifications on them. 33 is a very very large amount. Especially with the amounts of information some of them have. And then on top of that, there's 6 essay questions, of which three will be on the test and we'll have to pick one of them to write. I'm not as worried about that, honestly, because it's easy to BS stuff in that type of an essay question setting. And a lot of those kind of tie into some of the terms and such anyway. But regardless, there's tons of information. I went to the review session tonight, and I'm sure it helped a little, but I just don't know. I'm going to have to try and sneak peeks at my study notes as much as possible during my other classes tomorrow, which isn't easy because I take notes in my classes, and they're all pretty small so it's kind of obvious if I'm looking at something else, probably. Oh well. What happens will happen, and it's not the end of the world either way.

There's like 12 days until spring break. That's amazing. Twelve days translates into one in-class exam, one paper, and one take-home exam. Oh, and probably a Latin quiz or something thrown in somewhere. (Actually, I think the Latin quiz is Friday before spring break, which is a little bit mean in my opinion. I mean, I'm not one to skip classes so I can leave early or whatever, but some people have to and whatnot, and it's just mean to have something semi-big on a day right before a break. In my opinion. Oh actually, on further review, we have two Latin quizzes between now and break. Although one of them is Thursday, and I'm not sure if we'll still have that one then since things got messed up because we moved our last quiz back three days since he had to cancel 3/4ths of classes two weeks ago. We'll see I guess. Doesn't really matter anyway, it's not like Latin quizzes require me to put in a terribly whole lot extra studying since it's all so cumulative anyway.) But yeah, crazy how soon spring break is. Crazy I tells ya.

I was kind of productive today. I'm pretty proud of myself. Apparently if I go to Lafortune, put on my headphones, and listen to Enya and/or Celtic Woman, I'm a whole lot less distracted than anywhere else. This is prompting me to be more anxious to get the new Celtic Woman CD. I normally do like to listen to classical when I study, but lately I've found that it's not very soothing or easy to have just as background music for some reason. Enya and Celtic Woman did that for me wonderfully tonight. It was great. So yeah. I don't know. I also am lately wishing I had some sort of apparatus that would allow me to listen to music, one that wasn't the size of, oh I don't know, a laptop. Although tonight I was using my laptop, so I guess it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I do so much better when I'm typing things. Unfortunately, when I have to read something, it has very little to do with typing. Oh well.

The Oscars were on tonight. Weren't they thrilling and nail-biting inducing and edge of your seat excitement? Oh right. They suck. haha.

So let's see. After tomorrow, and the impending doom of my Middle Ages exam, I don't have much this week. I have to watch a...Spike Lee film? I believe, called Do the Right Thing, tomorrow night for FTT. Our FTT paper was going to be due Wednesday (or Friday, I forget), but they extended it to Monday next. So that's good. So the rest of the week I just have to get the next round of Trads reading and questions done, and the next round of Middle Ages reading (this week it's a few hagiographies, aka lives of the saints, and those are typically pretty interesting so it should be ok), and I have to work on that FTT paper obviously, and then work on our take home exam for Feasts and Seasons which we should be getting tomorrow. That's due next Wednesday. I have no idea how that's going to be. I don't know length, or how the questions will be, or anything. I suppose I'll find out tomorrow, and then try to plan accordingly. But that's about all I have the next two weeks. Oh, and I guess next week I'll have yet another round of Trads and Middle Ages reading to do. Sigh. And then a Trads paper that was going to be due before break but thankfully now is due Wednesday after. Otherwise next week might really suck, but it's doable this way, with just the FTT paper and Feasts and Seasons take home in addition to the normal weekly stuff.

I don't know. Tomorrow's going to be a long day. Of course it will; it's Monday. Perhaps I'll be as excited and happy and optimistic about life as I was last Monday, but I'll be missing one important factor: The watching of Sound of Music. Oh well. I'll have to find my happiness elsewhere, like in the singing of the birds that are as anxious for spring as the rest of us, or the beauty of whatever weather happens to be coming down at the time (rain? snow? sleet? hail? feathers? corn kernals? the sky?), even if it does make the sidewalks veritable lakes that are impossible to cross and still retain dry feet, or possibly sheets of ice that are easier to slide across than to attempt to walk. Ah. South Bend.

One good thing: I did watch Pride and Prejudice Friday night (the new one), and it's a rather fun movie. Despite my general dislike for Keira Knightly for whatever reason, I like the movie. Plus, the guy who plays Darcy follows in Colin Firth's footprints and is quite lovely as well. (Colin Firth in the miniseries 5 hour long version is rather wonderful and attractive, if I do say so myself.) So that's always nice. Although, well never mind. It's a good movie. Even if it's not as accurate as the miniseries.

ahhhh I want to knit soooo badly. I think I'll probably be able to get some yarn sometime this week, or this weekend at the latest, but I may end up just getting it when I'm home, who knows. Apparently on Tuesday night Fr Jenkins is knitting with people in Cavanaugh. A little odd, to be sure, but I'm tempted to go just so I can steal some yarn. But that'd probably be bad, as it's probably knitting for like homeless people and such. I've thought about doing that, just getting yarn and knitting scarves and whatnot when I just feel like knitting something but don't have anyone or anything to knit for, and just giving them to the homeless shelter. Haven't done it yet, but I've thought about it. But I think about doing a lot of things I don't end up doing, so... yeah.

ok one more thing. I am in love with the Weasley family in Harry Potter. Every scene with them in it is just wonderful. They're so great! And the Weasley twins pretty much rock too. Who wouldn't want brothers like that? It's so fun to read about them. All of them in general. And it's so great that there's such a large family (7 kids I believe...yes) that's so prominent, and clearly on the good side (well, with the exception of one of the kids I guess, who's rather a jerk). Anyway. Ok. Sorry. It's not like I was reading Harry Potter today, but I just thought of it, and every time I think of them I get so happy because they're so much fun.

And now, back to work I guess. Or maybe just sleep. I kind of don't care enough to study hardcore for this. I mean, I want to do at least a little bit well, obviously, but I can't see doing badly enough to get a C. Or probably even a B-. And I think I'd be ok with a B. Although, not if I keep getting Bs on stuff in that class. I'm not terribly confident about that paper we had to turn in on Wednesday. Ah well. It's just one class, and it's not even in my major. It's just for fun. I don't even have to take it as a requirement (some people are taking it for their history requirement). I'm taking it simply because I'm interested in the subject. So you'd think I'd be interested enough to do well, but that doesn't always happen. So whatever. I'm rambling. Which means time to go.

New experiences

Tonight, I finally learned what sleet/freezing rain/falling ice is like. I'm not quite sure what it was that was going on tonight, but there was some weird precipitation that I've never experienced before, and it was something like hail, but not quite, and kind of like snow, but again not quite, and not quite rain either. Weird. But kinda cool. Although apparently not fun to drive in. And not exactly wonderful to walk in, especially if one decides to do that walking in clogs...

I am simply not now, nor will I ever be, a party person. I am forever a party pooper. I can go to a party, and stand around and such, but I'm not into all that dancing (unless, perhaps, it's by myself where no one can see my seizure-like moves), and the music, oh the music, just not my stuff. I just felt a certain amount hypocritical being there tonight. I mean, I wasn't really doing anything I felt was wrong (all I did was drink a bit of alcohol, and I'm allowed to do that), but I was with people who were doing stuff I wouldn't necessarily approve of or feel comfortable doing. Not to mention people who weren't 21, but I only knew that because some people told me they weren't in the course of a conversation. But I don't know. I just don't think I should be going places that make me feel like a hypocrite. Which includes most parties, probably. And now I can say that with all certainty. So there.

Malibu and pineapple juice? A wonderful, amazing concoction/mixture. Great stuff. Although its failure in tasing like alcohol in the slightest kind of makes it a tad dangerous, but ok if taken in small quantities. As I did. Don't worry. I'm not dumb. Even if I am a slight bit tipsy at the moment, or earlier tonight, or whatever. I know my limit.

I'm also proud to say that it'd probably take a damn lot of alcohol to make me drop my prudishness, as well as my morals in general. I'm pretty good at sticking to them, apparently. So good for me.

I don't get some people's insistence on drinking lots, all the time. I drank tonight (gasp! the horror!), half a beer--beers are still too gross to get through a whole one--then something like rum and coke, then the pineapple and malibu. Not really that much, but definitely enough to feel it a bit. But lots of the people there? Ridiculously drunk. I just don't get it. I don't drink, normally. If I do, it's like a teeny bit. And I don't do stupid things when I drink. But I think a lot of people get drunk just so they can have an excuse to act stupid or something. I just don't do that. And I don't understand it, and probably never will. One of the biggest differences between me and most of my peers. Oh, and apparently my unwillingness to play spin the bottle. Not that that was an option tonight, but it came up in discussion, and one of my friends wants to try and make me. That's just not going to happen. Unless I'm allowed to kiss on the cheek. And unless I'm only allowed to be kissed on the cheek. I don't think there's any amount of alcohol I could drink that would make me want or even be willing to play that game. So I hope I never do.

Email's not working. It's bothering me. Wasn't working when I tried at about 9:40 earlier tonight. I think they said it might be down tonight for some sort of maintenance or something. I want to check it. Sigh.

I need to get to bed. I really need to be productive tomorrow, and...I just hope I can make that happen. I have a review session at 9:30 tomorrow night for a test I have Monday that I'm really not too sure about. It's my Middle Ages class, and apparently the prof (who I do like, in lectures anyway) is kind of...a stickler for good answers. We have to do IDs on the test, and apparently he's slightly demanding in making sure we have like full paragraph answers for each. So it'll be interesting to have to write 6 IDs that are paragraph length and chock-full of good information, as well as an essay, during the 50 minute time period that we have. At least there's not a requirement on the length of the essay, so probably anything over a page and a half is good. Sigh. Well, I'll worry about it later. Bed now.

It's Saturday

I was just looking through some pictures of me that people have put up on Facebook (or at least ones that I'm in), and in one of them, from high school (waaaaaaaaaaay back when, haha), I'm wearing a pair of blue lounge pants (not quite sweat pants, but not regular ones. I like to think of this type of pants as slacker pants). Anyway, I really like those pants. I have no idea where they are, I just realized. I mean, I have a good idea of where they probably are, but I just haven't seen them in a very long time for some reason. I quite enjoy them too. I'll have to look for that when I go home for break. I'm sure I'll forget though, and oh well if I do.

I forgot to mention this funny story that happened yesterday. I went to Latin, of course, my 8:30 class, first one of the day. We had a quiz yesterday, and I had walked slightly faster than I normally do because I had left slightly later than I liked. Managed to get there with about a minute to spare, but the prof wasn't even there yet so it didn't matter. Anyway, we're all sitting there, doing some last minute studying and whatnot, and the minutes tick by. 8:35, one of the kids in the class walks in. We all joke and someone says "Don't worry, you're right on time." No prof. 8:40, we decide to wait five more minutes and then leave. We discussed whether or not it's actually legal to leave after 15 minutes (or 5 in high school), or if that's only legal on Saved by the Bell. Someone admits to having never seen an episode. Someone else mentions the genius of the "I'm so excited" drug episode. (I heartily agree.) 8:45. We look at each other, and eventually a few stand up, so we all decide to go. We're all about to walk out the door and......our professor walks in. Unbelievable. Anyway, apparently his computer clock had gotten 10 or 15 minutes slow overnight, so when it said 8:20 he got a call from his wife saying one of his students had called the department and said he was late. Did you get that? Someone in our class actually CALLED the department. Who does that? Ah well. Whatever. The quiz was ok at least. (I got my best grade yet on the last one, so I wasn't too worried about it.)

Oh yeah, and we got our tests back in my FTT tutorial. I did ok. I mean, I missed 4.5 points out of 101. And most of those points were because of the drawings/diagrams that I had no idea how to do. Everything else I did really well on. So I guess I'm ok with that. I am not, however, ok with the fact that we had to watch a scene from Miami Vice twice in yesterday's class, and that I have to write a 4 page paper about it, and that I'll probably have to go over to the library at some point this week to watch it again a couple more times just to make sure I got stuff I need to write the paper adequately. Horrible movie.

Question for anyone who's reading this. What should I do next year? Should I stay on campus, getting a single, all the stuff that goes along with being on campus, but living farther away from my closest friends here, or should I move off campus with them, being farther away from things like the Basilica and Lafortune (aka place of work) and campus in general? Where they are moving is really not that far (it's about as far from Debartolo as Cavanaugh is, just in a different direction), but it's not on campus. So I just don't know what to do. I like being on campus. Sometimes I don't so much like the dorm life (like when there's annoying freshman ALL OVER THE HALL being loud as heck), but it's comfortable and easy. And I do so love the campus. But I think I'd feel a lot more isolated, maybe. Unless I could possibly get a single in Cavanaugh and be able to spend more time with girls over there who I rarely see anymore, sadly. I suppose one of the things I should do ASAP is to find out if it's even possible for me to get a single over there, or if I'd have to be pulled in by someone and thus have to share a room with that person, or if I'd just have to float for a single (in which case I might as well just get one here). I just don't know what to do. I mean, I guess there's something to be said for living in an apartment, trying out that whole atmosphere, and it'd be easier to stay connected with those friends, who are awesome people by the way. I don't know. Sigh. I guess there's a part of me that fears losing a connection with the university itself if I live off campus. As in, I won't be as tied to it or something, it'll just be a place where I go to classes. I don't want that. I mean, obviously it's not like UCCS. That was just like high school, and it was weird, and I don't miss it one bit. Here I do have work, and the Basilica, and copious places to go and study and be on campus. So...I dunno. Someone else make the decision for me. (It should be noted that, should I decide to move off, I'll be sharing a room with Bethany. Not that the Bethany part makes much difference, but the sharing a room part might. It's just another difference between staying on and moving off.) Hm. Well, I'll figure it out eventually. I hope. Eesh.

I'm going to buy a CD or two, soon. I just can't narrow it down as to which I should get right now. I think I definitely want to invest in that Appalachian Journey one, and probably Celtic Woman. Ok so I'm going to get three, because then I can get free shipping. So then should I get the Appalachia Waltz, to go with the other Appalachian CD (those are the Yo-Yo Ma with two other guys, cool music), or should I get one of the Most Relaxing Classical Music in the World, Ever albums (either volume 1 or 2), which I've been wanting for probably over a year now? I guess that's the real question. Or perhaps something else altogether. No, I should probably limit myself to what I have, because it's hard enough to decide as it is without throwing more choices in the mix. If they had the Homeward Bound soundtrack available, it'd be a ridiculously easy decision, for sure. But alas, they do not.

Oh, so I believe yesterday I mentioned maybe taking three classes during the summer to ease up my senior schedule a bit. Well, upon further reading of the list of requirements for taking summer classes, I found out that I can only take two summer classes concurrently. So...I guess that's out of the question. Although, aren't there usually two rounds of summer classes? I wonder if I could take two during one round and one the next or something. Or maybe I can just find two classes that are worth four credits. Not sure if that's even possible. Oh well. I'm just going to have to be...on task next year. That ought to be fun.

So, I'm excited about spring break. I mean, first it'll be nice to have a week off, obviously. (Although I have a paper that'll be due Wednesday after I get back, but it's not like I ever think about those sooner than a day or two before they're due anyway.) Second, and this is something I usually kind of forget and then get really excited about when I remember, hopefully we're going to be able to get the whole family together again at some point. Peter's home right now, on his break between AIT and actually starting his first assignment (being stationed at Fort Carson, which means he'll still be in the Springs when I'm there, as I think his break thing ends right around when I get home), and Tom'll come down at some point I guess, and we'll go out to dinner or something. It'll be fun. I'm excited for that. And I'm of course beyond excited with anticipation at being able to see my baby again. My little puppy. My fluffy flufferson. And of course the fat chicken. Aw. I love my pets so freaking much. I saw this news story today about a woman who flew from Oklahoma City to Orlando with her dog, only the airline somehow put her dog on the wrong flight (but the news lady narrating said it was to Orlando, so maybe it was just a different Orlando flight?), and it took them a few hours to figure out where the dog was and such. The woman just had to sit in the airport and wait and hope that they'd figure out what happened, and that they'd find her dog. Eventually they did, and the news story itself started with their reunion as the woman opened the dog crate and the dog came out, beyond ecstatic to see her owner, letting out little yelps of happiness. It was so cute, and made me tear up a little bit. (Oh, and the dog? Walks on two legs. Was born without the use of its front legs, and looks like they're not even there. So she just walks around on her back legs. It's pretty funny to see. I wish I could link the story somehow, but it's on cnn.com's front page and when I click it it just opens their video player thing. Maybe this will work. Not sure. But it's pretty cool to see.) Anyway. I like pets. Which does not include fish. Fish are not pets. Just thought I'd clear that up.

Ok, so this week some girls here set up a table in Lafortune and sold girl scout cookies. (Apparently they're doing it for some local troop or something. Smart idea.) I hadn't had girl scout cookies, to the best of my memory, since before I came to college, as I haven't had the opportunity to buy them here. I don't understand why more people wouldn't try to sell on a college campus, but whatever. Anyway. I was thrilled when I saw that, and bought a box. (Caramel DeLites, for those wondering.) Here's the thing. Cookies here (and apparently in Texas, and Pennsylvania, and other places) have different names than in my apparently creativity-imparied state. For example. What I know as Caramel DeLites are here known as samoas. What I know as Peanut Butter Sandwiches are known here as...Do-si-does. Peanut butter Patties are Tagalongs. Shortbread cookies are Trefoils. What the heck? See, the way I know them are logical names. You hear the name peanut butter sandwich, you know what it is. You hear tagalong, you think...uh ok. It's weird. I don't like this land of crazy Girl Scout cookie names. (Incidentally, here's the wikipedia page on it. Because I had to look it up to make sure I wasn't going crazy.)

Ok. I've made this long enough. Collected enough thoughts over the course of the afternoon. Don't worry, I didn't write this all at once. I never do. Usually. I leave the page open, and whenever a random thought pops into my head that I feel like sharing, I do. And now I'll post it. And you can all be amused. Or not read it, as most probably don't. hehe.

Simple joys

Lately, one of my favorite things to do is buy a cup of tea at the Huddle (65 cents no matter the size!), fill the cup with hot water, then put in the tea bag and watch it slowly mix with the water. I don't usually get to do this to my heart's content as people need to get their tea and coffee too, and I can't just stand there all day. But just to watch it when the tea first starts to diffuse into the water, it's so cool. Have you ever watched it? First, it seems like nothing's happening. Then slowly you notice that the previously clear hot water is becoming tinted a different color, and then suddenly it's like there's a flow of liquid out of the tea bag that continues to darken the water. It's quite fascinating to watch.

But this is coming from a girl whose father loves to watch the cream explode up to the top of his coffee when he puts it in. So, you know, ...yeah.

Interesting

So, after writing that post last night, I happened to come across this today:
"God gave us cats so that we would have an example of how we treat Him -- mainly that we totally ignore Him as we go about our lives, but when we want something we will start to purr and figuratively rub ourselves against His legs to gain His attention for our wants."

Fits in well, I think, and is a good example next to that of dogs. I just found it interesting that that quote was posted today.

Interesting

So, after writing that post last night, I happened to come across this today:
God gave us cats so that we would have an example of how we treat Him -- mainly that we totally ignore Him as we go about our lives, but when we want something we will start to purr and figuratively rub ourselves against His legs to gain His attention for our wants.

Fits in well, I think, and is a good example next to that of dogs. I just found it interesting that that quote was posted today.

Open Arms

i heard the song "Open Arms" by Journey tonight. And it, along with some circumstantial events, got me thinking. There's only one person who will always be there, waiting for me with open arms. Ready to accept me for who I am, shortcomings and all. The one person on whom I can always depend, no matter how far away I've gone, how disappointing I've been.

How does he do it? How on earth does God stand us? Can you imagine how much whining he has to hear every day? How much complaining he has to put up with? How much fighting between his children he's subjected to? And yet, somehow, he loves us. Unconditionally. For no reason. He gains nothing from loving us. And yet he does. He has the most thankless job, yet he's always there. Always. You don't have to go far if you're looking for God, because he's always with each and every one of us. More so than any person on earth is capable of being. As we're humans, and that's what we know, and God's existence is somewhat of a mystery to us, we're often more comforted by other humans, by their presence. And yet, there is nothing as comforting as God. Why don't we realize what a great gift we have in him? It's so hard to believe that God could be as patient with me as he is. To believe that he's always there for me, even when I'm struggling, even when I'm pushing away with all my might. No matter how much I try to fight it, he's always there. He always will be. He doesn't turn away from us. We turn away from him. But all we have to do is turn around again, and he'll still be there. That kind of love is just incomprehensible to this feeble human mind. I mean, if any of us put another human through what we daily put God through, would any one of us stick around?

This may sound a bit...irreverent, but sometimes it amazes me how much some animals can be little glimpses of God's love on earth. And I mostly mean dogs. I am in no way trying to compare my dog to God, but think about it. Dogs love unconditionally. They go back to you after every single time you yell at them, wanting only to have your love. They are desperate for your love. They can sense your feelings, and they just want to make you happy when they know you're sad. It always amazes me how Kebbie can recognize when I'm crying, and it never fails that when she does, she comes over and sits with me, gives me her paw, tries to get me to cheer up again. No matter how many times we screw up, dogs will always forgive. They'll forgive that you forgot to feed them dinner last night, or that you left them out while you were at work all day, or that you don't take them for walks as often as you should. They just love. Granted, not all dogs are like this, but my dog is, and for me, she's a little bit of God for me. She shows me a sliver of how much God loves me, and wants me to love him. He desires my love more than I can imagine. And how do I reciprocate? By ignoring him much more often than I should. By turning to him only when I happen to need something. (Even if, granted, that might happen to be fairly frequently.) I never presume to blame God for something bad happening in my life, but I have questioned why before. Wondered why this prayer wasn't answered, or why that one was a clear-cut no. And how often do I stop and just thank God for his creation? For my family, for my life, for...any and all of it? Far far less often than I should.

I'm trying to work on that this Lent. I realized how badly I do at it during the retreat two weeks ago, and I know that I desperately need to spend more time with God that isn't time spent asking for things. I need to spend more time with him. Praising him. Centering my life on him. Because if it's not centered around him, then it's off-kilter in a big big way. God chose me. He chose all of us. Why on earth would we not choose him? How often do we think about just what he went through for us? For each of us, for all of us. He suffered unimaginably. People seem to forget that. Seem to forget that, during Lent, this is part of the reason we give a little of ourselves. People like to complain about the inconvenience of not getting to eat meat on Fridays. Or they choose to get through those Fridays with lavish lobster dinners. People don't get it. It's not just something we have to do because the Church dictates it. It's something that's supposed to remind us of just what Christ went through for us. He loves us so deeply, so unbelievably, that he went through the scourging, and the humiliation, and the crucifixion, all so that we might be saved. We don't deserve it. Yet he did it anyway. He suffered through that, and God still experiences our failings and shortcomings with regard to him--because we are loved. God could give up on us, easily. He doesn't need us. But we desperately need him, and out of pure love--knowing he won't get anything out of it (because what can a person give God that he doesn't have?) he stays. He searches out the lost sheep. He rejoices every time one is found. He holds each and every one of us in his heart, always. He celebrates with us when we're happy. He comforts us when we're suffering. People who think God doesn't care can't be further from the truth. God cares more than any of us can comprehend. He is bigger than we can imagine. And all he wants...is us. You. Me. Even that person in our class, at work, on the street, who we can't stand. God loves that person so much too.

Why wouldn't I want to spend every possible moment with someone who loves me this much, who will never ever let me down? The one person on the entire world who will always, always be there, without question, without fail, and always with open arms. I just have to be willing to step into them.

Not feeling cheery...

I really really wish I had yarn right now. My hands are just itching to do another knitting project. Especially now that I have the pattern that I want to do. A pattern I like very much. I just need the yarn, and then I can knit, knit, knit away. And 'twill be wonderful.

So, I found out today that for sure I can't get last semester's credits transferred. So that's sucky, but wholly expected. And now I'll definitely be doing summer courses this year. Now, if I take two classes and get 6 credits, next year I'll have to do a semester of 17 and a semester of 18 credits. Not exactly ideal for one's senior year of college, but that's what I get. I could theoretically do a 15 and 15 next year, classes this summer, and then classes next summer as well, but I really want to be done when I graduate and not still have to worry about school after walking. (I'd be able to participate in everything but would get my diploma later.) So I don't think I'll plan on that course of action. Now, I can take up to 8 credits this summer that will transfer. So...I'm not sure how that works, if I take like three 3-credit classes, if they'd let me do that and just not take one of the credits. I didn't think to ask that at the time. But anyway. If I did that, it'd ease next year slightly (I could do like a 17 and a 16 or something), so that might be worth looking in to. All I know is, I'll be trying to get into the easiest classes I can, and/or as many theos as possible. It'll work out. I may be busier next year than I'd like to be, but I'll be here, so that's at least worth it. I also found out that I won't have senior standing when it's time to register, so I won't get as good a DART time, but oh well. I will be able to transfer the credits over as soon as I get them though, so I can have senior standing by the time I get back next semester, which means (as my advisor pointed out, and which I hadn't even thought about) that I'll be able to get football tickets in the senior section. That would really suck if I couldn't. But I guess that shouldn't be an issue. So yeah. Not exactly great news today, but not really bad news either, and not unexpected. So all in all just...whatever.

Question. If people drive on the right side of the road, wouldn't it make sense that people should walk on the right side of the sidewalk? Or come into a building through the right door instead of the left? I mean, it only makes sense. Yet people like to walk in the middle of the sidewalk. Or the left side. Or all over, so it's impossible to pass them when they walk ridiculously slow. Because they do. Sometimes when I pass people, I feel like I'm running. I don't run. I hate to run. But I also hate to walk slower than a turtle. And too many people walk that slowly. It's not cool. And then people will mess up the flow of traffic into or out of a building by going in the wrong door. I suppose here maybe we have international people that aren't used to the "right side of the road" thing. But they should get with the program, and learn. It baffles me when stores have their automatic doors set up so that you have to go in the left side and out the right side. It messes people up. Someone should create a law that requires the rules of the road to be carried over into walking, thus making it illegal to: suddenly stop in the middle of a crowd of people, because you have to talk to someone walking by, or to cut in front of everyone to turn a different direction, or fail to notice that there's people walking behind you and your group trying to get past you but failing because your slow-walking group is spread out too far over the sidewalk to allow anyone to pass without stepping into the muddy used-to-be-grass area next to the sidewalk, or even the snow. Ok sorry, rant done.

Well, I guess I'm going to go watch a movie or something. And by that I mean put a movie in my laptop, as I have no other means with which to watch one. Not DVDs anyway. Good times...? It's definitely an Anne of Green Gables night...but unfortunately, I do not have them. Here or on DVD. So...what are you gonna do.

Oh yeah. Here's the one thing that gave me a good laugh today. Probably no one else will find it as funny as I do, but I think it's hilarious. Particularly the very end. It's really funny, people.

bleh.

Huh

So you know how I mentioned the fact that I wanted to go to two things next week, that I thought were both on the same day (Tim Meadows, as well as the lecture/discussion thing "Sex and the City of God", both on Wednesday)? I had two emails in my inbox this morning, one talking about the Sex and the City of God thing (as well as the Edith Stein conference going on this weekend), and the other saying that Tim Meadows had to cancel his appearance due to conflict schedules with the filming of his current movie. I guess that's just God's way of telling me which one I should go to. (As an aside, apparently there will be three more current or former SNL cast members this semester too. It's like a series thing that SUB's doing this year. I hope they get good people. Like Will Ferrell. Dude that'd be amazing.)

Word Cloud

Haha I've wanted to do one of these for a long time, but I didn't know where to go. Now I do. I'm a little surprised that some words aren't on there, but then when I think about it, not really. I'm also not terribly surprised that I don't have like one or two words that are HUGE compared to the rest. I'm a fairly level person in my subjects, I suppose. Either that, or I always talk about the same things over and over. Including my own name, oddly enough...I am surprised "ridiculous" isn't up there at all. I thought I used that word quite often. Interesting. (That one is up there, not surprisingly. hehe.) Anyway, it's kinda fun.

You know, ever since Monday when the weather kind of got me excited for the coming of spring, I've been impatient for its arrival, and have only reluctantly worn my winter coat. And really only today. I didn't wear it yesterday and was slightly chilly walking to and from classes, and today was even colder. So now, all of a sudden, I'm wanting it to be warm and I'm not particularly happy to see endless forecasts of weather in the 30s with possibilities of snow and such. 30s weather's no good anyway. Not exactly cold, but not warm enough to wear just a jacket or something without a few layers underneath. I'd rather it be a lot colder or warmer. It'll get there eventually, I know, but I'm impatient sometimes, what can I say.

We made my flight to come back here after spring break today. We got the first leg when I got tickets to come out here at the beginning of the semester, as at that point the idea was that I might drive back here. That idea's now scrapped, so we were going to get a roundtrip, with the first leg being home to here and then the return leg going home for the summer. But I suggested we maybe just get the first leg now and decide on the other later, since I might maybe take the train or something like that (which, actually, I really wouldn't mind doing--even if it is an 18 hour trip...I can take more stuff with me on the train. Although, I don't really have many bags here now, since I only have what I brought with me on the plane, and not the whole 5 piece set). But anyway. I'm coming back here Saturday night of spring break (which, I believe, is St. Patricks Day...eh oh well). I'm actually flying into South Bend, which I very rarely do. Hopefully it'll be an ok trip. I do have a layover, of course, but I don't have to take a 3 hour bus ride from Chicago. So yeah. Anyway. Good stuff.

So, you know how I mentioned that typo in the Observer today? Well, there's another funny one on campus. There are posters up in the dorms and stuff annoucing the fact that Tim Meadows (aka "The Ladies' Man" from SNL) is coming to campus next week (unfortunately I think it might be Wednesday night, which happens to be the night that there's this other talk I want to go to. I'm hoping the Tim Meadows thing is Tuesday night). Anyway, this poster is supposed to say "Former SNL Cast Member" or something like that. Definitely the "Former SNL" part. Instead, it says "Formal SNL" whatever. And that's just rather funny. I mean, formal isn't even like just one letter off or something. It's a whole different word, and two letters off, and it's funny. He's such a formal guy, you know. haha. Anyway. I was amused.

I'm about to embark on a new knitting trip. I'm pretty excited about it, although I still have to get the yarn for it and who knows when I'll do that. There's talk of perhaps going to the store sometime tomorrow, so maybe I can do it then. We'll see. Maybe this year I'll take my knitting with me on the plane for spring break, as last year I was too scared it'd get confiscated, even though it's on the list of acceptable carryon items (and it's not like the ends are sharp at all). I don't know though. I'm just excited at the idea of a new project though. Knitting is so great.

Gotta get back to work. I try to be productive. Really I do. I just fail. And I fail miserably. I mean, when I do something, I do it right. You know? Haha. Anyway. For some reason not getting enough sleep on a Thursday night never seems quite as bad as not getting enough in the middle of the week. So I'm ok with it. And it's not like I have to do anything in any of my classes tomorrow, oh except a Latin quiz (ha), and watch a stupid clip from that stupid stupid stupid movie Miami Vice, on which we're apparently supposed to write a segment analysis paper which I'm pissed about. The fact that the "segment" is from Miami Vice, not the fact that we have to write a segment analysis paper (although I'm not quite thrilled about that either). But seriously. I hated that movie. And now I have to be subjected to it even more, and I'm probably going to end up having to be forced to go watch that part a few more times in the library or something (as I'm luckily not acquainted with anyone who owns that piece of garbage, to the best of my knowledge) so I can write the paper well, since I doubt just seeing it the one time will be enough. Ugh. I'm starting to think I got the wrong teacher for my FTT class. She sure seems to give a lot more work than other teachers friends of mine had for that class. And she makes us watch the crappiest film I've seen in awhile, and over and over and over again, all the while calling this scene and that scene "gorgeous" and "beautiful" and "wonderfully done" etc etc etc. It's not that good, people. Sigh. If only she weren't so nice. No, I'm glad she's really nice, because if she wasn't, that class would REALLY suck. I guess it can't be perfect. I just really really wish I didn't have to watch that movie again. Any of it. Ugh. Oh well.

So yes. Back to work. ha. Man, I'm really pathetic.

Because I don't want to do work

Monday was really foggy. REALLY foggy. It was pretty darn cool too, especially seeing the trees as they were covered in mist/frost. It's a really pretty effect. Apparently it was so foggy some schools got delayed or cancelled or something. That's odd to me. Although, walking to my first class in the morning, right when I got out of Lewis I noticed that I couldn't really see the top of Mary's head on the statue on the Dome. So I suppose visibility wasn't very conducive to driving. But still. I've never heard of delaying/cancelling classes for fog. Weird.

Today is fairly nice. Except for one thing, the one weather thing (excluding hot hot temperatures) that I very much dislike: Wind. It's really windy. And that's just not cool. I've never particularly liked wind. I suppose it's ok if you're inside or something, but being outside in wind is just no good.

So, funny story. In my Latin class today someone pointed out an advertisement in the Observer, for some event I guess they're a part of or know something about or have some connection to. Anyway, the ad is for a poetry slam at some point in the near future I guess. Only, it says, right there in huge letters in the ad, "POERTY SLAM." And that's kind of funny. I wonder how many people will notice that, since first of all it's an ad and how many people look at the ads, second of all it's on page 14, and most people (ok this could be wrong) skip over most of the stuff in the middle of the paper and only read the first few pages on either end, and third, all the right letters are there, they're just in the wrong order. So if you're just skimming it you might not even notice. Anyway, it's funny either way.

Ok, I think I had other things to say but I'm going to go eat lunch. So, perhaps later.

Wow

This movie looks, well, amazing. I got chills just from the trailer. Of course, trailors are often good at not being very accurate when it comes to the movie itself (haha, look at those "horror movie" trailers for Sound of Music and Mary Poppins and such), but this movie looks really good. Hopefully I can go see it, maybe over spring break or something. Plus it's got Albert Finney in it, and ever since he was Daddy Warbucks, I've quite liked him.

Anyway, that movie looks good.

Pathetic

It's barely 9pm, and I'm probably going to go to bed within the next hour. I should probably do some more of that reading that's due Friday, but I'm just.so.tired. I think it's more important that I get some good sleep tonight. I wanted to stay up and watch Lost, but then I realized that I really didn't care all that much and that it made no sense to stay up an extra two hours or whatever for that. Nuh-uh. Plus, I'm just so tempted to eat any of the variety of snacks I have in my room, and going to bed will nullify that temptation right quick. It's not that I'm hungry, I just want to eat. That's the way it is most times I have snacks. Which isn't good. But I'm trying.

So I'm going to do my Latin homework for tonight, get changed, and get into bed. And it shall be glorious. I'm excited.

Oh, and I recently was reminded of a post I made sometime last year about how much I want the Homewar Bound soundtrack. This caused me look for it again, as I was fairly unsuccessful last time, and unfortunately the same seems to be true now. I may have found a place I can download it, but I'm not sure how much I trust that and whatnot. Apparently the UK's Amazon has it, but the US's Amazon doesn't, and I'm not sure that I can buy things of the UK's website. I don't know how that works. Especially money-wise. Hm. But I did find this, which alternately makes me happy and makes me want the CD even more. Isn't it pretty though? Sigh. So pretty.

I had other stuff I wanted to say through the day today, but I'm just too tired.

And so the journey begins

Lent is upon us once again, which means that within the next seven weeks, two whole days we must fast. I've been thinking about it, and I don't really know that the fasting as we're mandated to do does much for me. This isn't meant to sound holier than thou or anything, but I'm one of those people who can go a day without eating much food and still be ok. I've gotten quite good at ignoring those hunger pangs, until they eventually go away. So the whole "two small meals and one normal one" thing doesn't really do much for me, it seems like. Especially when considering that I generally only eat two meals a day total anyway. So I think I need to step it up a bit, in order to keep in the spirit of what we're supposed to be doing today (and on Good Friday). But anyway, who cares, really.

I've decided this year not to go just with the giving up something sweet deal, and actually to do something proactive. I'm going to be spending more time with God every day, something that I should've been doing for a long time now, but never force myself to like I should. Ok, not force myself, but you know what I mean. Maybe. Maybe you don't. That's ok. So that's what I'm going to do. It might just be 15 minutes at first, but it's going to be something. I am also going to limit my sweets intake, as I don't like how much I've been eating lately, so I've decided to limit myself to spending $5 at most on sweets and such in the Huddle every week. Although, now that I think about it, I probably don't spend that much now anyway. So maybe...I don't know. I'm just going to cut back, because I know that when I give in to that little voice in my head saying "Oh, that 350 calorie-filled double stack oatmeal cream cookie looks soooooo good," I'm not really glorifying God very well by keeping my body healthy. So yeah. Anyway.

So, it's Lent, and I'll be going to Mass in a couple hours for more of an official start to the season. And that'll be nice. (It's interesting that everyone thinks it's a holy day of obligation, but it's not actually one. Not in the US at least. Yet more people probably go to Mass for Ash Wednesday than they do for days like the Assumption or the Immaculate Conception or the Ascension. Not that it's a bad thing that so many go today, obviously. Far from it. Just interesting that they don't go in the same numbers to Mass on other Holy Days.)

Well, go and...Lent...accordingly.

Now there's an idea...

Maybe I'll just give up sleeping for Lent.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Mondays rocks!

I am seriously in such a good mood today. Have been all day, despite staying up too late and having to get up for my 8:30 class today. I maintain that it's a direct result of watching the Sound of Music last night, because let's face it, it's an awesome movie. It's just runoff from the endorphines I get while watching it. Because I do. haha. Anyway. What a great day, even though it is Monday. I suppose having a great great great weekend (I love you, Mom and Dad!!!) will lead to having a not crappy Monday, even if it does require one to leave the happiness of the weekend behind and delve back into the real world of the weekdays. Anyway though.

Let's see. Latin was Latin. We were supposed to have a quiz on Wednesday, but as he had to cancel three of our classes last week, he's moving the quiz to Friday. I could have gone either way, but yeah. I guess that's cool. Then I went to FTT, which wasn't anything special. I thought we were going to get to watch scenes from Batman Begins, but I guess she had like a DVD with a few movies on it or something, and the one we actually watched scenes from (The Black Dahlia) was after Batman Begins. Sadly. At least we didn't have to watch more Miami Vice scenes, as she said we would at the beginning of class. After that I had a break as our Trads class was cancelled today (my prof's in Jerusalem this week, but the TA's going to be doing the class Wednesday and Friday), so I went to the dining hall since I have extra meals this week thanks to JPW, and I had a bowl of cereal and a few cups of coffee and whatnot. Read some of the Trads reading for this week. Overheard people talking about Tom Brady and something about getting his girlfriend pregnant. (I just now found a story about it, and apparently it's his ex-girlfriend, whom he broke up with a couple of months ago after they had been dating three months. And now he's with someone else. It's a weird situation. See, that's why you don't have sex if you're not married. Even if you're in a "committed" relationship of a few years. Although I'm sure they didn't wait that long to have sex anyway. But still. Things like this happen. Not that babies are bad things, obviously, but what a situation in which to find oneself. Not to mention the fact that it's sad that that baby won't grow up with both his parents together. Even if he will be a beautiful child--I mean, look at his parents--I'd much rather live with both my parents, together and married. But maybe that's just me. Sigh. I wish the quarterbacks I liked weren't morally not what I like...hard to find nowadays though.)

Anyway, after I ate and sat in the dining hall for a bit, I went back to Debartolo for my Feasts and Seasons class, which was pretty interesting. I really enjoy that prof. He's quite fun. And at the end of class, he even took a jab at all that lovely music I have grown not to like in Mass (Haugen-Haas, all that wonderful...crap that people came up with in the 70s, etc. The stuff that's nowhere near as cool as awesome older hymns and such. Things that like Mozart wrote, and...that have been around longer than 40 years). It was quite funny, and I think a number of the people in that class got and understood and agreed with what he was saying about it. I mean, the joke he made about it. Since I don't really think it had anything to do with what the class lecture was about today, really, but perhaps was related to a question someone asked at the end of class. Either way, it was just funny. And put me in a good mood again for my walk to Cavanaugh to meet people and then go to lunch. And during that walk, I was really happy because--get this--the temperature is warm! It's so springy! Man, it's 43 right now! Feels like 34 I guess, but still! Everything's melting. And here's the amazing part--I'm ok with it. It hit me today. While I love cold weather and snow and such, I've gotten so much this winter, been so lucky with it, and now that spring's fast approaching, I don't really want it to be delayed so much. Normally I might a little more, because I don't get my fill of winter, so to speak. This winter I did. I mean, I'd always be happier with more, but I'm ok with spring coming. I actually look forward to the first sunny days that hit like 60s or 70s. Those first days that get up there are always so lovely! And I just remember last year, right around Easter, everything was blooming. Everything was gorgeous. And Bethany, Julie, and I (who had stayed on campus for the break) walked all around and took lots of pictures, and it was so much fun. The campus was gorgeous and so alive! God's creation is so wonderful. Everything he makes is so beautiful. I mean, we have the breathtaking purity of a nice freshly fallen snow, and then we get the vibrant colors of spring, with animals coming out of hiding again, the sun shining warmly on the earth, all the flowers and trees and grass looking their best after having been covered up all winter (much like the people...). Then comes summer, and all that goes along with that (hm...I think summer's the least pretty season I guess. I can't think of much distinctive about it. Plus it's so hot. I don't like hot). And eventually fall comes along, bringing with it the changing colors of the trees, giving us these gorgeous vibrant reds and oranges, with leaves letting go and falling onto the ground where we can crunch them every time we walk, as the plants and the animals slowly recede to their winter positions, until the snow falls and covers them all once more. It's just amazing how the seasons work, and how they're all special in their own ways. (Once again, summer's only included because I feel obligated to include them all. I mean, it's nice enough, but...I like spring. hehe.)

Anyway. I was in a good mood thinking about the impending arrival of spring. And once I got into Cavanaugh, I took of my scarf and my coat and didn't put them on again the rest of the day. It was kind of nice. I'm sure I will when I go to dinner and the DPAC tonight and such, but yeah. Anyway. And lunch was lots of fun because the Sound of Music was mentioned (perhaps by me...but maybe not, I don't remember now, but I was excited), and I'm just in love with it. And then my Middle Ages class was good enough. Nothing special, but I was in a good mood, so whatever. Oh, and my shirt today is making me happy. It's a light purple sweater I have, very stretchy and very soft, and I'm wearing a light pink sleeveless mock turtleneck thing under it, so I'm very pastel-y and it makes me happy. Plus I'm having a good hair day, and those days are always just inherently better, aren't they? Haha. I'm such a girl sometimes. Oh well. :-P

Oh yeah, back to Middle Ages. Last night as I was working on my paper a bit, I read through this short little thing my prof gave us at the beginning of the semester on how to write an A paper. And it's hilarious! I mean, first it goes through what kind of stuff generally an A paper would have (and then a B, a C, a D, and an F paper), and then goes through like the structure of an A paper (pretty basic stuff, really, that seems kind of weird to have to mention in a college-level course, but I suppose lots of people don't really write papers well), then how to use good evidence, and then it goes into the mechanics that a good paper should have. Then the good stuff. First, in a "general advice" section, he mentions avoiding the first person, but says "a foolish consistency being the hobgoblin of small minds, you must not take this to be an iron rule." I just loved that sentence. I mean, seriously, how often do you find people who manage to work the word "hobgoblin" into a regular sentence? It's great. Then when discussing the presentation of the paper (font, etc), he says "There is no rule governing typefaces, but Courier is irredeemably ugly." Now, I don't know that I agree or disagree with that, but it made me laugh a bit. Then he mentions a few words that people mix up, and that we should look them up if we don't know the difference, and shame on us if that's the case. Like infer and imply, or affect and effect. (That one really bothers me, when people use "effect" when they mean "affect" and such.) Anyway, I don't know. It was just really funny reading it, because obviously he (and I'm kind of just assuming that it's him who wrote this) cares about having us write well and grammatically correct and all that, and teachers who do that are definitely ok by me. Although, again, it's hard to believe that some people in college (and here especially) need to be told some of these things still, or don't even know them. I'm a bit snobbish about this, I'll admit. Whatever.

Haha one other thing that kept putting me in a good mood all day was, of course, related to Sound of Music: Last night when I was watching it, I finally figured out what one lyric in one song that I've never really known what exactly it said was. Sorry for that horribly written sentence. Anyway, in the song "I Have Confidence," I've never really know what she says after "Captain with seven children." Last night, I finally got it. It's "What's so fearful about that?" All these years of hearing it and not knowing (and not bothering to look it up), and finally this one random time watching it, I get it. So I kept laughing to myself about how stupid I am not to have gotten it before. It's kind of like how for the longest time, in the "How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria" song, where they say "How do you catch a cloud and pin it down," I thought they said "How do you catch a clown and pin it down?" And when I finally realized what it was (quite a few years ago, I think, so don't worry--I'm not that out of it), it was really really really funny. (or, similarly, when I discovered that the Rockin Around the Christmas Tree says "you will get a sentimental feeling when you hear" and not "you will get a set of metal feeling" or something. I never knew what it was, and it made no sense, and then like three years ago I realized what it actually is, and felt like an idiot. Or how I used to think Parson Brown in Walking in a Winter Wonderland was a color. Not a person. Hey, I didn't know what a parson was. But hey, those things make me laugh, and make other people laugh at me, and laughing is inherently good, so it's ok.)

Life is good, people. Life is excellent, in fact. Sometimes I feel weird saying that, because someone could read this and have just lost someone they care about or something. But there's always going to be sadness in the world. Last night, out of the blue, as I was trying to fall asleep I had some images of Blackie come unbidden into my mind. It's still hard for me to think of her as gone, because for me it's the same right now, as I'm not at home and interacting with that new version of home. Once I go back for spring break I'm sure it'll be more real and maybe hit me harder, I don't know. But I hadn't really thought about her much since I finally let myself cry about it, whenever that was, awhile ago. And last night I did, and it was sad. Still is. Always will be. But life goes on. Life always goes on. And God's always there, and God is so good. So, life is good. Even when we don't want to admit it. One day we'll all be with him, and there will be nothing but goodness. Can you imagine how that'll be? Obviously, no one can. But it'll be so much better than even our best days. Our most gloriously happy, upbeat, optimistic days. And there'll be none of those other days. Plus, being ridiculously happy with the wonderful days make the other days a little easier to get through, knowing that you can't really have one without the other. There's always sunshine at the end of a storm. Life is good. (And, side note, randomly at some point while writing this post, the Gloria from, apparently, the "New Mass for Congregations" came into my head. It's the one we sang at the JPW Mass, and it's a version I'm rather fond of. But I don't really know how I started singing it. But, I'm ok with it being in my head.)

I'm kind of sick of this back thing. I now have a big bottle of Ibuprofen here, as well as a pillow for my chair (makes it slightly more comfortable and perhaps a tad better for my back in general), a thing that I like to call a pouch of fabric filled with some type of bean, which one can stick in the microwave for a couple of minutes and it serves as something along the lines of a heating pad (but I like it a little bit better for various reasons, so I requested that Mom and Dad bring it with them here, and they kindly complied), an actual heating pad, and now even some ThermaCare self-heating adhesive thingies that you can stick to your neck or back or wherever. Walmart decided not to have any IcyHot patches, so I got those, and hopefully they're good. I may be trying one out tomorrow. I don't know if any of it is going to do me any good though, as I just cannot figure out what the heck is causing this stupid irritating pain. Usually if it's there, it's not really terrible (nothing like last Sunday night, argh that was horrible), but it's very annoying. And sometimes it will get rather painful. For the most part, though, just not enough to justify complaining as much as I might. And also for the most part, not enough to make me laugh. Because I'm weird and laugh when I'm in pain sometimes. Not usually with pain associated with, say, a headache, and I don't think ever with cramp pain, but with a lot of other things, for some reason it just elicits a laugh from me. Like the time I dropped a bucket on one of my poor toes, and I was both laughing and crying at the same time. Let me tell you, that is one odd emotional sensation, to laugh and cry at the same time. I don't mean laughing so hard it makes you cry. I mean actually crying, like when you're sad or hurt or whatever, while honestly laughing. It's happened to me more than once, and it's just...bizarre. I highly recommend it. Ok maybe not. I don't know. haha. Anyway, my point is, I wish this would go away. Maybe I'll just live with it until spring break, and should it continue like it has, maybe I'll go get it checked out then. (Can you believe spring break is only...less than three weeks away? 3 weeks of classes, but 19 days. That's counting to Saturday the 10th, which is when I'll be going home. I'm pretty excited about it, if only to see my dog. And my nephew. Ok, and the rest of my family too. hehe.) Of course, I don't really have much faith that they'd be able to find anything or do anything about it. I went to get my shoulder checked out the summer before freshman year (of college), after having lived with that pain for over 5 years at that point, and the best the doctor could tell me was that I had scoliosis. Which is ridiculous, and was quite stupid, as he didn't even have me bend down and then like feel my spine as most doctors would do, and I have been going to a chiropractor practically my whole life, and I would think that she would be able to recognize that if it were the case. So basically I haven't trusted doctors with much since then. Oh, I'll go in for something like conjunctivitis or whatever, but muscle pain? Seems pointless to me. Maybe I'll just learn to deal with this like I did with the shoulder thing. Maybe it'll just all run together in one pained conglomeration on my upper right side back. And then maybe one day, somehow, it'll just magically go away, and I won't even think about it, and it'll be wonderful. Ok I'm a bit too cynical to believe that'll happen, but whatever. You know. haha. Anyway.

Well, I just thought I'd take this chance to bother you all once again, and regale you with the tales of my poor poor back. Awwww. Back to the wonderful world of the Middle Ages, and Charlemagne, now.

Impossible not to love

So, I just watched Sound of Music on my laptop. Yes, I have copious amounts of reading to do this week (as usual), and yes, I have another paper to write this week, due Wednesday. (But I have a good idea what I'm going to write about for that, and plan on doing at least some sort of an outline tonight.) But I just really really wanted to watch Sound of Music. It is the best movie ever. I mean, seriously, how could anyone not love it? I know that lots of people don't, but let's face it: Those people kind of suck. Haha ok sorry if I offended anyone. But man. I just love that movie so much. Like, the scene where Maria and Georg dance during the party is just awesome. What girl doesn't watch that and get all goofy-happy? Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I think it's one of the greatest scenes in any movie ever. Every time I watch that movie it just makes me so pathetically happy. It's great. And dude, why doesn't anyone dance like that anymore? I really wish I could go to parties where there were dances that had steps and such, instead of everything just being "Grind on your partner as hard as you can." How romantic. Anyway though. That scene is amazing. That movie is one that I've been watching for as long as I can remember, thanks to a mother who also greatly enjoys it. Even though I've seen it lots since my "childhood," there are certain lines and scenes that just always evoke feelings and memories of way back when I was much younger. It's awesome. Something occurred to me during tonight's viewing though. When Maria first hears that the Von Trapps include seven children, she's taken aback, like having seven children is ridiculous. I can understand that response in today's culture, but it seems to me that in the 1930s when the movie takes place, having seven children wouldn't really be that big a deal. Admittedly, I know nothing about that sort of thing from that time in Austria, but yeah. But anyway. Who cares, really, because that movie just rocks my socks off.

Seriously. Go watch it. Especially if you need a pick-me-up.

I've been thinking

(A dangerous pasttime, I know. Sorry, little Beauty and the Beast reference there. It's arguably one of the best movies EVER. Seriously.)

So, a lot of times I tend to write off things about which people might compliment me. Like, for example, the fact that I sometimes write well. I kind of downplay it, thinking it obviously can't really be true. But when I do that, I kind of downplay something God's given me. Like I'm taking a gift he gave me and calling it inadequate, unsatisfactory, just not very good. And that's just wrong to do. I mean, this doesn't mean I should go brag "Oh I'm the best writer in the world. I'm just awesome and amazing and all should bow down to me." That's not it at all. What I should do is look at it from the aspect that it is something God has given me, and thus all the compliments should really go to him. And then I should stop shying away from doing anything real with it, and realize that maybe I should do something with it that glorifies God. But then I'm still hesitant to presume that I'm good enough even to glorify God with this. I don't know. I'm so hesitant to do anything, all the time. One of my biggest annoyances about myself. I'm such a chicken. And I really need to stop.

Purely satirical...

But probably not too far off.

New, improved Life Teen Masses.


Oh man.

It's all about the parents

So, everyone, I have an announcement. I have the best parents ever. This has been such a good weekend. Although my parents didn't get here until close to 10 last night (thanks to a slightly late landing, as well as hitting rush hour in Chicago at the perfect--aka most horrible--time), it's been so great having them there since then. Just fantabulous. Last night was the "gala," which included some yummy food and such on the floor of the JACC basketball arena, and then drinks and dancing (I partook of neither) in the hockey arena area place. It was pretty fun. Today I met them at the Basilica, and we went to the bookstore after that to order my ring (I'm so excited now! I'll get it May 1, which is a little later than I was hoping, but that's ok! I'm just a little worried it's gonna be a bit too big. But hopefully it'll be ok. I'm sure it will be. If not, I can get it resized for free, it just takes like 6 weeks), and where I discovered--you know that book The Petite Prince? Well, the bookstore has it. The regular version, with the blue cover and that one picture and whatnot on it, and then also in Spanish, exactly the same but in Spanish, and in German, and in (get this) Latin! It was so cool! I was so tempted to get it. Well not really, but it was pretty cool--then we went back to Lewis for the Lewis luncheon thing which was nice despite the fact that I really don't know any juniors here. After that we went over to Decio for the theology major's reception thing, which was also fun. Funny story, we sat down at one of the tables, and one of the theo profs came over and asked to sit with us as they were probably just supposed to mingle and whatnot. So he sat and talked with us for a little while. Here's the funny part: he's the priest that I dislike having as the presider at daily Mass, the times he's there. I've never known his name until today, but it's just funny that he of all people would come over randomly like that. Anyway, he's a Jesuit, so maybe...that might be part of the reason his "style" doesn't appeal to me. I mean, it's not like I hate it or whatever, he's just not the one I like the most. But it's all good. And then we talked to one of the profs I have this semester (the one for Feasts and Seasons, who's lots of fun and reminds me of Santa Claus). After that, the parents were kind enough to take me to Walmart where I got a few things I've been wanting/needing. Including a few things that make me really excited, like a pillow for my chair, a new watch (since the band on my current watch is going to break any day now, ever since Colt decided to chew it a little bit), and water. Oh, and deodorant, which is always a good thing to have. (By the way, remember when I mentioned that my current stick was going to run out this week? Well, I might actually have one more day's use out of it. It lasted me just long enough, which is pretty awesome). Know what's cool? Suave now has these cool sparkly deodorants (well, the actual stuff itself isn't sparkly, but the outside is), and they're kind of perfumed fun flavors. So I got one stick of the regular stuff I get (normally Powder Fresh or Spring Breeze; Spring Breeze today as I've had Powder Fresh for awhile now), and then one of the more fun ones. So I'm kind of excited about that. Mostly because I don't tend to wear perfume like ever, so this is kind of like a two-for-one deal. What can I say, I'm pretty upbeat right now. Sorry I just spent that long talking to you about deodorant. Which I am now spelling correctly, as you may have noticed that I've been spelling it incorrectly for awhile, but thanks to my mom's pointing it out a few times, I can now spell it correctly. Aren't you all glad? Oh! And I got a Boston Red Sox hat, and a Notre Dame hat (actually has the ND on it and everything) for $5 each! Walmart sells them for really cheap. At the bookstore ND hats are like $15-25. So that's pretty cool.

Anyway, my parents dropped me off at the dorm after that, and went back to their hotel to get changed for Mass and such, and then picked me up half an hour later or so. We headed down to the JACC for Mass, I wore my quite impractical but fun brown shoes (it's snowed on and off all day so there's snow and slush everywhere, and those shoes are pretty much open everything), and my lovely brown skirt that I love. And no shirt. Haha. Just kidding. Obviously. Mass was quite nice as well. The opening hymn was one of my favorites, "All Creatures of our God and King," and the music was wonderful (the bell choir was there too and did some songs before Mass started, and some during communion, and I decided that I want to get a CD of a bell choir doing Christmas music, and the orchestra was there and songs just sound really different and awesomer with orchestral accompaniment, so that was really cool), and the incense was lovely and really strong (I love that), and the homily was good and referenced something that happened before the USC game sophomore year (the Friday afternoon beforehand, I was at lunch with Julie--I think it was Julie--at South, and halfway through some guy stood up on his table and started reciting the Rockne speech that is quoted in Rudy, and it was just so cool and such, and Fr Dan who was doing the homily talked about it at the beginning of the homily), and it was all just quite nice. Very enjoyable. oh yeah, and another one of the songs during Communion was Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart, and I LOVE that song. And it sounded like the choir was pronouncing the Vs the classical Latin way (as Ws), which is kinda neat. And, of course, there were lots of priests sitting up on the altar. Which is always fun. And the closing hymn was something with Alleluia in the title, so I was joking that they're trying to get in as many Alleluia songs this week as they can, since Lent starts Wednesday and after that there's no more Alleluias until Easter. (The first song we sang has lots of Alleluias in it too.)

After Mass was dinner, over in the hockey area of the Jacc, and it was nice. I mean, we were sitting on one of the edge tables, so we got our food like very last (some tables at the other end had already finished and been cleared before we even got ours), but it was ok. The food was good at least. The Glee Club sang after everyone got their food, and that's always lovely, especially as they always end with the Fight Song and the Glee Club rendition of the fight song is arguably my favorite version. It just sounds so. cool. I love men's harmony. Anyway. Then there were some speeches that were corny and boringish, but ok. And then we left. My parents and I decided to go have some drinks at Legends, which was fun because I've never been there, in the bar section, before. And I've never had a drink there. I ended up getting a mocha martini, which was pretty good. I could definitely taste the vodka pretty strongly, but yeah. My first martini experience. Good times. So that was pretty fun. And then we came back here, and then my parents left. They have to leave kind of early tomorrow, like 12:30ish, so we're probably just going to go to brunch and that'll mostly be it. But it's ok. It's been so much fun having them here. It's been such a good weekend. Lots of fun. And it's fun seeing people with their parents, too. Not sure why, but it's just really cool. I'm so glad that ND has JPW. It's really really awesome. I highly recommend it. As I highly recommend ND. hehe. It's funny, thinking about how we all relate to our parents. I mean, I think everyone gets frustrated with their parents sometimes, often about stupid things. And we probably all have different things we get frustrated about, and might think about someone else "Why are they getting so frustrated over that?", yet they probably think the same thing when we do it. It's just interesting. In the end, I think we all love and appreciate our parents, even if we don't really express it as often as we should, or as well as we should. (So, Mom and Dad, I love you guys! You're so awesome, and so much better to me than I ever deserve, especially when you put up with my getting frustrated at you for stupid things! I love you both so ridiculously much!)

It was funny, during the talks tonight, talking about how special ND is and whatnot, I just was thinking. Thinking that I cannot believe, a year ago, that I didn't see that. That I didn't love this place so much it hurts. That I ever thought I would want to leave. Now here I am, less than a year and a half to go, and the thought of leaving hurts. I love it here. It's so...it's just all-encompassing. I mean, I'm really glad that I am at that place now. I just wonder why it took me the journey I went on to discover that, when most everyone else seems to have it right away. But maybe I have it in a different way than everyone else. I don't know. All I know is, I'm so glad that God helped me find this place that I am now. I'm so glad I'm back here, short time though I may have left. I'm so glad for all of it. And I'm so glad that my parents came out for JPW. They weren't going to, for a little while, but then they realized how important it is for me, for the school, that it's a big part of the "Notre Dame experience," and so they made it a priority to come. And I'm so very very thankful for that. I love my parents beyond belief. They're wonderful. And they were pretty instrumental in my being here, both originally and then back here now. They're so glad I'm back. I think it kind of hurt them when I left, not like I personally hurt them, but they were a little sad about it. So we're all in agreement that me being back here is so much a great thing. Because it really is, and it really rocks.

I'm so ridiculously happy right now. God is wonderful, especially for giving me such wonderful awesome fantastic parents.

Can you tell I should be studying?

Um...I had something to say. And...now I don't. OH yeah. I was watching House the other day (not exactly my choice, but I hang out in Cavanaugh most nights and so I just watch whatever shows they're addicted to--mostly House and Grey's Anatomy), and man. Ok, so it's not really primary to the episode itself, but there were some ridiculously casual mentions of sex in it. First of all one of the characters was on a blind date. And then later they were apparently going to have sex, despite having just met each other, because this character "likes the guy, and likes sex" or something like that. Except in a different tense. Or person. Whatever. And then later, another character said to a third character that they essentially be sex buddies. Since neither of them are in relationships, they might as well, because everyone knows people can't be expected just not to have sex all the time, relationship or not. I mean, they way she was casually throwing it out there was like...it was just ridiculous to me. And yet I'm sure there are plenty of people for whom that is nothing more than a normal conversation, or a normal suggestion. It's just bizarre. Bizarre, I tell you. I don't get it. Oh, and that added to last week's episode where the main character basically told a girl she was dumb for not getting an abortion on a pregnancy that was caused by rape (and he said that several times, despite her apparently strong pro-life beliefs, which seemed to get thrown aside by the end of the episode), kinda makes me think that that show really isn't worth an hour of my time. As if I didn't already know that. Oh well.

On another note, I bought a ND class of 2008 fleece tonight. I justified spending the money by rationalizing that I had gotten back $30 this weekend that I had already written off (because the money for the retreat got refunded, thanks to some endowment someone gave or something). So, while perhaps I should have just saved that $30, I do really quite like this fleece. It's verrry soft and warm. And it's cool. So there. Go ahead, try and make me feel bad. (No, don't, I feel bad about money very easily. I mean, I almost feel bad that my parents paid to go to the gala tomorrow night, because we could have just done something else or something...don't really know what, and it probably wouldn't have involved dressing up as the gala does, but...yeah.)

So, I decided that I'm not a big fan of the Trads classes. I mean, I don't know what Trads I is like, as I haven't taken that yet. It'll be Christian history up to the reformation, so maybe I'll find it more interesting. But Trads II just...I don't know. So far it's all everyone arguing with each other over who's right, Luther or Zwingli or Calvin or Sadoleto or Melanchthon. "I'm right" "No, I am" "No, we are" etc. I just don't feel like it's important. I guess it kind of is, but...I don't know. I'm just not terribly interested in it. I do have to put in a little caveat here: I don't mind actually going to the class itself, like the teacher and stuff, because it's interesting enough and he's obviously very into it. It just feels kind of like a waste of a class space that I could be using to take a more interesting class. But unfortunately it's one of the required classes for theo majors, that and Trads II and either a New Testament or Old Testament class. Speaking of which, what does anyone out there think I should take next year? New or Old? I think either could be interesting, but I'm just not sure. I think I'm leaning more to Old Testament. But I don't know.

So, know what's funny? Everyone refers to this coming weekend as JPW. And yet, it's only one syllable shorter than if we said out Junior Parents Weekend. I guess JPW just rolls off the tongue a bit nicer, or more easily, or something. Either way, and whatever you want to call it, I'm pretty excited to see my parents this weekend.

Did you know that Lent starts next week? Wednesday, to be precise. I think I finally may have thought of what I want to do this Lent, which hopefully I'll be able to keep up after Lent as well. So that's good. Weird, though, to think that it's already close to March. And that Lent will take up all of the rest of the semester but the last month.

Sigh. It's so late. I still feel like I have so much to do. Sucky. Guess I better get to it, then.

Argh

So, it's 10:30. Tonight I still have to: finish reading the Lancelot story for Middle Ages (which is interesting yet very irritating to read because no one has names in it, so it's just "the knight" when there's more than one knight and it's hard to keep everyone straight and it's making me LOSE MY MIND), finish reading the ridiculously long-winded Calvin's reply to Sardoleto's letter to the Genevese people, and another Calvin thing that's like another 10 pages, and study for my FTT test that's tomorrow. Oh, and come up with and answer two questions on the Calvin/Sardoleto stuff. Luckily my first class isn't until 10:40, so it's not like normal Fridays when I have to be up for an 8:30 class.

I am motivated to do nothing. I was trying to study earlier; it wasn't working very well. I don't think that there'll be a lot of difficult stuff on this test because it's all pretty basic obvious stuff, or at least it seems like it is. And I really don't care about that class. I mean, I care in that I'd rather not get a B or lower, because it is a pretty easy class, but...I just don't want to study. And I don't want to finish reading the stupid Lancelot thing because, partly, there's the issue of being confused with who's talking at what point and such, and also the way it's set up is annoying. It's pages printed from the Internet, and it's just these long paragraphs that don't separate like normal stories when there's dialogue or whatever. So it's hard not to get lost, or to read one line over accidentally because they're so close together, I miss where I'm supposed to be when I move to the next line. And I don't want to finish reading the Calvin thing because he's just annoying to read. The Sadoleto letter was reasonable, like ten pages, but then Calvin's reply is like thirty or something, and he keeps saying "I'm not going to reply to what you said here" but then basically does, while saying that he's not going to. Stupid Calvin. And I'm so sick of those stupid questions. They're so irritating. I don't feel like I get more out of the text when I do them, I just feel like I pull some random question out of the air and then try and find whatever text I can to support it long enough to make it a good-length paragraph. Oh, and did I mention that I hate that course packet? The other day I pulled it out of my bag, and seriously, half the pages had come off of the CRAPPY CRAPPY binding, about which I complained a few days ago. And it'll take me so long to get them back on that I haven't bothered yet. And unfortunately it's the half that I hadn't read yet, not the half that we've finished, which would actually be nice. Because then I could just leave that part out and it'd be lighter and stuff. But no. Ah well. At least I only have three classes tomorrow. And then I'm going to attempt to see an advisor, which hopefully won't take too terribly long because I'm going to need to take a shower when I get back, as well as do a nice cleaning of the room, which will include vacuuming. Don't want my parents to think I live in a sty. Although, they've seen my room at home. I'm sure they have no preconceived notions that my room here would be any different.

Sigh. I don't want to do anymore schoolwork tonight. I can get away pretty easily without reading much of the Lancelot thing, or at least just skimming it. And I can more or less just skim the rest of the Theo reading I have, enough to find stuff to formulate and answer a question. And I can probably do ok on the FTT test without studying a great deal, as I have gone to all the lectures and taken notes and everything like a good little student. But still. Sigh. I just want tomorrow to be done with. School-wise, at least.

Signs, signs, everywhere are signs

We often ask God for a sign, probably hoping for something like a big neon flashing one--possibly with an arrow pointing to a certain path, a certain person, a certain choice. And yet, the thought occurred to me today that even if God did somehow decide to give me one of those signs, I'd doubt it. I'd say, well...maybe it's just a coincidence. Or maybe somehow the devil managed to acquire one of those big flashing neon signs just to throw me off. So what's the point of me ever asking God for a sign if I know that chances are I wouldn't believe it anyway? I don't really ask for signs anymore. I guess I have before, and I guess I still might on occasion, but I don't do it really expecting anything. But I probably still get them, in little things and little ways that I don't realize, don't recognize as "signs from God" necessarily. Looking back, though, they're there. And sometimes I just have to laugh when there are blatant examples of God probably trying to tell me what he wants. And still I wait, thinking, "That's not real. It's just a coincidence." And yet, sometimes it gets to a point where it would be ridiculous to deny that there's more than coincidence going on. A point where all I can say is, "Ok God, I think I get the hint." It doesn't take a big flashing neon sign. That's not what God is. God is a whisper. Maybe one day I'll get to the point where I don't need lots of little things in a row. I'll get to a point where I can listen to God and trust in him enough that all I need is to hear that little whisper, and I'll get it.

For now, at least I know that God won't give up on me. Even when I want to give up on myself.

Because my posts seem to be devoid of anything interesting lately...

I'm going to sing the praises of snow. Again. What can I say, I love the stuff? While everyone else is lamenting the fact that we're getting snow ALL. THE. TIME., I really couldn't be happier. Every single time it snows, I'm ecstatic. (Ok, a little bit of a correction here: I won't be ecstatic if it happens to snow in Chicago or even here on Friday and impedes my parents' ability to get here in a safe and timely manner Friday evening. So yeah. I think we'll be ok though, as they've predicted at least a little for Friday, and it seems that they don't do a very good job of predicting snow--as in, they predict it every single day and it definitely doesn't snow every single day. Oh, and I won't be happy if it makes their progress back to Chicago, and ultimately back home, on Sunday unsafe or slow. But I think it's only supposed to get warmer--maybe even to like the 30s!--over the next few or so days.) I just love snow. And I can't believe how lucky I've been this year, snow-wise. Seriously. Three blizzards over Christmas break back home, then it was a little slow to get here once the semester started, but now there's been snow on the ground for the better part of the last month--and a fair amount of it--and it's deep and lovely and beautiful and wonderful. This is coming from a person who doesn't have to drive in it right now, of course, as driving in snow really isn't all that fun, let's be honest (although, it's not nearly as bad if there's no one on the road around you. It's the other people that makes snow driving so bad. Unless you get stuck in it. Then it just sucks. So I've heard).

I took snow pictures tonight. Not a lot, just a few, but enough to make me happy for now. We have a lot of snow on the ground. A good three feet probably in some places. It's lovely. I may throw some pictures in this post, because it's fun to show pictures. I like to make everyone who's not here jealous, and believe me, you should be, because this place is awesome. Especially when it's snowy. Seriously, I was walking back from Cavanaugh tonight, looking at everything feet-deep in snow, and I looked up at the Dome, and I almost wanted to cry because it is all so beautiful. How lucky am I to be here? God has given me such a gift this semester. I mean, not only do I get all this wonderful, amazing snow (boy oh boy did he know what he was doing when he created snow), but I get to be here. That's something not everyone can say. Not everyone wants to say it, but not even everyone who wants to say it is able to. I am, and I am so lucky. I should thank God so much more than I do, but that's probably true of most people with most things. We don't take the time out to thank him when things go right, we just remember to ask him why when things go wrong. Or we turn to him when we need him for something. That's a thought that hit me this past weekend, that I hadn't really paid much attention to before. Do I ever spend time with God just to spend time with God, or do I only do it when I want something from him? As my spiritual director put it, do we seek the consolations of God, or the God of consolations? I really want to focus on being more appreciative of everything God's given me. Appreciative that he put the idea into Fr. Sorin's head to start a college up in lonely ol' northern Indiana. Appreciative that I actually have snow to my heart's delight this winter, instead of just flakes here and there (although, those winters have made me so much more grateful for this winter). Appreciative that I get to be here, that I get to be doing something I love, that I get to be. God is so great.

And now, some pictures. Although they can't do justice to the beauty that is this campus. Much as I can't do justice to the wonderfulness that is God.

The first night we got real snow (so, like three weekends ago).

Those same two benches from the above picture, this one taken tonight. Looooooots of snow now.

A bench between Cavanaugh and St. Eds. All covered.

The benches in front of Cavanaugh/Stonehenge.

And again.

One of the pretty trees between Cavanaugh and Washington Hall.

A random snowbank covering part of a tree outside St. Eds. That's mostly snow that was plowed from the parking lot that's right there. It's kinda deep.

A cool picture taken outside Lewis tonight. The smoke in the background is from the power plant on campus.

A new (as of this school year) statue outside of Como. I must have taken this yesterday.

This is that statue from a few nights ago, so slightly less snow-covered, just for comparison. (Ignore the ice cream cone in Baby Jesus' hand...someone had put it there that night and we took a picture so we could show Bethany, who was still in health services for the 3rd or 4th day in a row...)

A pretty picture next to the Main Building, taken a few weeks ago.

My favorite building on campus, the Basilica, taken that night of the first major snow. Because it's pretty.

That cardinal from last week.

Group cardinals (you can see at least two here).

One more.

Different day, another cardinal outside my window.

A cool pattern in the snow that I noticed out my window at the retreat this weekend. I think it was made by a squirrel (the one at the top of the picture, not the line of footprints at the bottom). Does it resemble a rose to anyone else?

Imposing shot (taken tonight...there's some snow up there but you can't really tell). I like this angle.

It may be from behind, but it's still one of the most beautiful sights in the world, isn't it? How could you not be thankful just to see that?

I really want to watch Anne of Green Gables. I love that movie. Seriously, I could watch it all the time. That's something in which I definitely need to invest, as all I've been watching all these many years has been the VHS we have of it, taped off of PBS when they were showing it as part of a pledge drive. Probably in like 1991. I just made up that year, but it can't have been very long after we moved to Colorado. Within a few years probably. Anyway. It's on two different tapes because the one ran out before the movie did. And there's parts missing, and there's annoying interruptions of the pledge drive people, and I think the tape's going to die sooner or later as it is quite old and I watch it a lot. And DVD is the future, after all. Ok it's the present. I'm behind the times with some things. But I should get it on DVD. I just don't want to shell out the $20 that they cost. I hate spending more than like $10 on a DVD anymore. So yeah. Maybe I'll get to watch my beloved tapes over spring break or something. Who knows. That's definitely pretty much my favorite movie though (along with the sequel, of course. They are more or less the same in my mind, as I can't just watch the first one without watching the second shortly thereafter). Although, it's interesting because it's one that not many people know. So I don't think I normally say it's my favorite movie, because it's sort of in its own category for me. Eh whatever. It rocks.


It stopped snowing, more or less, so now it's just very windy and thus feels quite chilly. But not too bad. But the lack of snow means no cancelled classes tomorrow. Aside from Latin, which is cancelled for entirely different reasons. I'm still holding out hope that maybe one or two of my profs won't be able to make it to class or something. (I'd just rather not find out that my FTT prof cancelled class...when I get there. That would be slightly annoying, to walk all the way out there from Lewis, only to find out it was for naught, and I couldn't even get a lollipop out of it.) But I'm not gonna hold my breath. It's quite pretty out there right now, though, before the plows move in and ruin it all. Even the mounds of dirty snow that have been made so by the plows getting some of the grass along with the sidewalks are now covered in the pure whiteness of the new snow, both that which has fallen and which has blown over the old. And there are nice, high drifts in some places, and random spots on sidewalks that have very little snow. And it's just quite lovely, even if it is a little harder to walk in because it requires slightly more effort, trudging through inches that have accumulated. I'm not sure how much actually fell today, and how much blew around, but it's up to (and then some, a little bit at least) the seats of benches around campus. And that's pretty cool looking. I wanted to take a picture tonight as I was walking back from Cavanaugh to Lewis, but a) It would have required some maneuvering of the stuff in my hands, especially as I would have to delete some old pictures that are still on there (but are also on my computer) to make room for any new ones, and b) I always feel weird taking pictures of stuff for some reason. Makes me miss out on some nice photo ops, I think, but yeah. I'm too self-conscious. Like last week, I wanted to take a picture of some squirrels that were just chilling there in the snow (when it was like negative degrees out), eating some stuff they managed to find under the snow. They were so cute, with snow on their fur, which was very fluffy and warm-looking, watching the rest of us as we hurried about here and there, trying to get out of the cold as quickly as possible. Or these trees near Cavanaugh that have like pink berries on them or something, that look just wonderful when there's some fresh snow on top of the pink. I love taking pictures of things in the snow. Snow is wonderful. Especially right now, when it's all fresh and new and footprints are quickly covered again and all the normally grassy areas are full of unadulterated pure white snow. No footprints, no tire marks, nothing. I really really really want to play in the snow. Even though that totally ruins the effect of fresh snow. But I haven't really yet this year (and only once last year, and it was before Christmas break), and I love playing in the snow. Sigh. It'd be perfect tonight. Aside from the fact that it probably wouldn't last long because it is a bit chilly out there. Oh well. Snow rocks no matter what. (And here's hoping it somehow picks up again tonight, and lets us have a day off. I don't think they've cancelled classes for weather in like...years and years and years, so it's doubtful they will while I'm here. Gotta happen sometime though, right?)

(Haha, I just went downstairs to print something, and as I was walking to go back upstairs, I saw something run by the window outside--the windows go all the way to the floor there--and I got really freaked out for a minute. But it was just a bunny, and it made me happy.)

Yet another one

YOU:
1. a cuddler? Yeah I guess
2. a morning person? Well, I'd like to be, as I do like the very early morning, but...it's so early. And I don't go to bed early. Although I'm trying to be better about that.
3. Are you a perfectionist? Pretty much.
4. awesome? I am the awesomest person you will ever meet. Ok that's probably a lie.
5. addicted to anything? Not really, but I do love my Internet, and sugar. Mmm sweets.
6. in your pajamas? No. I do wish I was in my favorite pair of lounge pants right now though.
7. left handed? No, to the sadness of my mom. (And I wish I were ambidextrous too.)

LAST:
1. friend you saw: Well, I'm currently in a room with three of my friends...the last I directly looked at was...Katherine.
2. phoned? um...Cathy, I think
3. sent email? Aunt Lisa
4. message received over myspace? Don't really get messages on myspace
5. instant messaged? one of my parents.

TODAY:
1. wore: jeans, white short sleeve, purple longsleeve (which I don't really like, but I did laundry today and didn't feel like wearing anything else)
2. mood: Sick of people. At least while I was working. Now, happy and a little stressed. And sick of my back.
3. today is: cold
4. got any plans: For the rest of the night, I hope to be productive and do homework and such. And possibly continue my streak of going to bed early-ish (with the exception of Sunday night...yeah.)

FAVOURITE:
1. number: 14
2. colour: Um...pastels. purple. blue. yellow. green. I just like colors.
3. season: Depends. I tend to want the upcoming season to be here as the current season gets towards the end of it...if that makes sense...but right now I'm ok with winter.

Qs and As

q: What was the 1st thing you did this morning?
a: once I got out of bed, I took a shower.

q: Last thing you ate:
a: A Hershey Kiss/Hug thing

q: Do you have anything bothering you?
a: Um, well, my back, and all this work I have to do this week. Yeah...

q: What's the last movie you saw?
a: Ugh. Miami Vice. Horrible movie.

q: Where is the last place you went?
a: Cavanaugh. And South.

q: Do you wish upon stars?
a: Nah not really. They're fun to watch though. Especially when you're in the mountains, without light pollution and such.

q: Are you a friendly person?:
a: Depends on the day. Or the hour. I'd like to be more than I am.

q: Where did you sleep last night?:
a: In my bed. Under lots of covers. Mmmm.

q: What color shirt are you wearing?:
a: Just purple, that you can see.

q: Do you have more guy or girl friends?
a: Girl friends, definitely. Boys don't like me. Probably because I'm taller than like 80% of the ones here.

q: When was the last time you really cried?
a: I guess a couple weeks ago.

q: What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?
a: Is there a single position that I can be in that won't bother my back? (Answer: No. Until I fell asleep at least.)

q: What are you about to do?
a: Hopefully some type of homework...eek.

q: If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
a: Hmmm....maybe some coffee, with some type of yummy flavoring. Mmmmm.

q: What's your job position called?
a: Uh...student? And HuddleMart Cashier. Glamorous, no?

q: What's your favourite month(s)?
a: December's pretty nice. And April. And sometimes June.

q: What was your elementary schools mascot?
a: Ummmm...oh yeah, Panthers.

q: what's your favourite bottled water?
a: Usually the cheapest one.

q: What will you be doing at 9pm tonight?
a: It's after 9 right now. So...watching House.

q: Did you attend your high school prom?
a: No. I went to one dance all four years of high school, and it was homecoming freshman year.

q: Did you go to someone else's prom?
a: No

q: Do you prefer coffee or tea?
a: Coffee rocks. Although lately I've developed quite a like of tea again.

q: Something red within 5 feet?
a: The pillow right next to me.

q: ever done the electric slide?
a: Not in a real way. Maybe a goofy pretend way.

q: How much french do you know?
a: A tad bit, whatever I've retained from the four years I took French in high school.

q: Ever crash a car, been in an accident?
a: A few. Nothing major. And not really any my fault...

q: Do you look good in yellow?
a: I really don't own anything yellow, so I don't know.

q: Do you sing?
a: Sometimes. Most often in church. Or in the car if I have a car around in which to drive.

q: Ever sing in public?
a: A few times. (Assuming this means by myself.)

q: Least favourite color?
a: puke neon green, maybe? not sure.

q: Ever had dippin dots?
a: Indeed I have. Not in awhile though.

q: How many driving tickets have you had?
a: Zero

q: Do you own your own house?
a: Ha no

q: At what age do you want to get married?
a: When I get married.

q: How many kids do you have/want?
a: Lots. However many I have. Yeah.

Snow yeah

Good news: I got an email tonight from my Latin prof, and he cancelled classes for the rest of the week. He's going out of town or something and couldn't find a sub. So, that's pretty awesome, because that's three classes, and it's my first class of the day every day. Suffice it to say, I'm a tad excited about this.

Bad news: Now I have to walk from Lewis to the DPAC at 9:30 in the morning and I'm sure it'll still be very cold and probably still rather snowy and such. So that's slightly gonna be fun. Oh well. At least I get to sleep in a bit more, and that's always good. And hey, maybe I'll get a lollipop in FTT. She always gives one to the person who came the farthest. With my luck though, someone will have come from Carroll or something tomorrow, and my plans for getting a lollipop will be thwarted. haha.

I'm just holding out for them cancelling classes altogether tomorrow. St Mary's cancelled classes, apparently. I'm not sure if that was today or for tomorrow though. But we're in like a blizzard warning or a winter storm warning or something until 7am tomorrow. So they definitely should cancel school tomorrow. That would make me so freaking happy. I mean, actually having an honest-to-goodness day off? No classes, no work, nothing? So wonderful. But doubtful that it'll happen, so I'll just have to be happy with the fact that I only have four classes tomorrow (plus violin), instead of five. Hm.

Back to life

Sorry to keep harping on this. I just can't seem to get it off my mind. Boy oh boy is my back bothering me. It's quite irritating, really. I had a 4 hour shift today, like every Tuesday, and as expected the back wasn't too happy. I was kind of pace-y for much of it, because it doesn't seem to be quite as bad if I'm moving or walking. And when we got a really big rush at one point, afterward I realized that I hadn't noticed my back at all. So when I'm forced to keep busy I guess my mind's taken off of the pain. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot that can occupy my mind that much. Sadly. Hm. Mom thinks I should get a muscle relaxer (I guess from health services). I'm hesitant for a few reasons: I enjoy complaining (haha, obviously), I dislike taking medicine (unless it's for a headache. Although, as I realized today, this back thing is sort of like a headache in my back. If that makes any sense. Comparable I guess. Except this might be worse than the majority of my headaches), and I definitely don't want to go to health services and waste hours there, as seems to be the case when people go to health services.

I guess I'll wait a bit. See how things progress this week. Not sure why things would change, but I also don't really know why this started or why it's gotten so bad over the last few days either. Hm.

Oh well.

Milk was a bad choice...

Sorry, Anchorman quote there.

This is probably a bad idea but here's a rundown of my day. Starting with when I woke up, since I was technically awake earlier in the "day" too.

7:02--phone alarm goes off. I hit snooze, even though my radio alarm was going off too. Luckily that one is just set to the radio, and pretty quietly, so I can barely hear it over my fan (have I mentioned how much I love that fan? It swivels and turns in like every direction, and it. is. awesome. I love it. So worth the $20 I spent, including shipping). And my roommate seems to be able to sleep through things easily, so I wasn't as concerned to turn it off for her sake this morning as I normally am.
7:22--finally get out of bed, stumble across the room to get my shower stuff, squint at the bright lights as I walk down the hallway to the bathroom. Take shower.
7:40ish--get ready for class and such.
8:20--leave for class.
8:29--get to classroom, sit down, etc. Sit through a Latin class in which two guys wouldn't stop whispering to each other (something that irks me so very much) and in which lots of people seemed not to know any Latin at all. Slightly irritating, especially today.
9:20--get out of Latin, go down to the computer cluster to print out my paper and such, head over to DPAC for FTT. FTT prof, while very amiable and likable, proceeds to bother me with her excitement at the crap she was forcing us to watch tonight. Plus she was just too cheery.
10:20--get out of FTT, head back to Debartolo, go to Trads II. Slightly despair at the thought that I still had two classes to sit through, one of which is 75 minutes. Blank out for a few minutes at some point, not sure if my eyes were open or not. Pretend that I'm just not taking notes at the moment. Fun times were had by all.
11:30--go down one floor to go to Feasts and Seasons. Sit through that for 75 minutes, watching as snow begins to fall outside, and then of course stops before class does. At least it was a pretty interesting class. And I drew argyle patterns in my margins.
1:00--head to Cavanaugh to get Caitlin, go to lunch at north. Discuss with Caitlin and Katherine how there's a lack of a PA system or any sort of way to know if there were to be a hostage situation in a classroom (what would the other classrooms do?). We all had something set up in cases like that in high school, but we wondered how that would work here. In case something weird happens.
1:50--go to Nieuwland, confused with Caitlin as to what is making the noise somewhere near the library that sounds like loud rushing water.
1:55--Middle Ages class starts, prof asks us what current Hollywood person we'd cast as Roland in the Song of Roland, but before anyone can really answer the fire alarm starts to go off. Someone says that one of the other halls in Nieuwland smelled horribly of propane, and that there had been a spill or leak somewhere. We all sit there for about five minutes before deciding that it's probably best to leave. Stand outside for 10, 15 minutes, lots of the class wanders off, someone suggests seeing if we can use the Montgomery Theater in Lafun across from Starbucks. TA goes to check it out. Comes back five minutes later with an affirmative. Those of us who are left head in there, and we have 20 minutes to listen to the previously planned 50 minute lecture. I could have left, but I do like that class, and was interested in today's lecture. And turns out there was a propane leak around Nieuwland and the radiation building or something like that, and it closed those two buildings, and OShag, and a few others until tomorrow. And it's funny that it happened today, right after Caitlin and Katherine and I had been discussing how there's no way for communication to occur in a building if something happens. And it's kinda related. I don't know.
3:00--unwind on the computer. Keep telling myself to take a nap.
4:00--crawl in bed, read a few pages of Harry Potter, fall asleep.
5:50--get out of bed, wake myself up, go to dinner.
And then there was the lovely movie screening.

It was a long day. And I was annoyed at stuff all day, and people were bothering me in general, and I was just irritable. Cranky, even. I guess not getting much sleep will do that. I'm going to bed soon, because I need to, and then I'll hopefully get up at like 9 or so and do some laundry. And then at noon I have my 4 hour shift, which last week resulted in me getting annoyed at everyone. Hopefully that won't be the case tomorrow. Hopefully I'll wake up and it'll just be a lovely day all around. And maybe something good will happen. No idea what, but something.

There was good news today, as Cathy and Bobby found a tenant for their currently vacant unit in their fourplex thingy. So that's really really good. And Mom and Dad are coming this weekend, which I'm very much looking forward to. And apparently, I just heard this, we might get 9-12 inches of snow by Wednesday. So that's kind of exciting if it's true. I do love me some snow. And today was like in the 20s, and felt very balmy. Almost like I didn't even gloves! (But I did.) Although, I won't rejoice if it gets much warmer. I'm ok with in the 20s. I really like not going into the 30s though. I know, I'm weird, but I love this cold weather and want to continue it as long as possible.

Oh yeah, one other thing happened today that was a little bit of niceness attempting to break through my grumpy exterior. I heard some birds singing, specifically this one bird whose song I always always associate with springtime. I was a bit surprised to hear it today, but maybe the bird was all, man it's warm, I better get on my spring song. Who knows. I guess technically spring isn't all that far off, but yeah. It was nice to hear though. Just...not the surroundings I expect to see when I hear it, as it evokes thoughts of bright blue skies and fresh green trees and grass and such.

My back is making me go crazy. I need to go to bed, I can't sit here anymore. This chair is the worst for my back, I think, as it seems to start up as soon as I sit down here, but takes a little longer in other chairs. So...I don't know what the solution there is. But yeah. Bed now. It doesn't bother me (as much) when I'm in bed. I love bed. Mmmmm bed.

It's funny how two people (or groups of people) can have such different feelings associated with one song. I just read this entry in a blog talking about a certain song to which I have a very very strong aversion, but this person absolutely loves the song (as do a number of people who commented, apparently). I think it's hokey, dumb, and ever since I was forced to learn it and sing it in front of the whole congregation at my confirmation (with the rest of the people who were being confirmed as well), I've hated it. Perhaps had I heard it first in a different time, under different circumstances, and perhaps were the memories of it not associated with something that made me feel like I was five, I might like it. Who knows. It's just weird that the circumstances under which you first encounter something can shape how you view it for the rest of your life. I guess sometimes your feelings can be changed. I don't think I'll ever be swayed to the other side in this case, though.

Important Advice

Do. Not. See. Miami. Vice. Horrible, horrible movie. Seriously. Why it was ever made is beyond me. I had to see it tonight for that stupid stupid movie screening thing we have to do every week for FTT. Normally we get out around 9, maybe a little earlier. But tonight, we had to watch Miami Vice which is I guess about two hours and 20 minutes, so obviously we weren't going to get out before 9, but then she also insisted on showing us another stupid cartoon beforehand too (Bugs Bunny this week). I thought she just did that because the other movies weren't going to fill up two hours, so she figured she'd just add a little something to make it closer to two hours. Apparently she just wants to torture me. Seriously though, Miami Vice was ridiculously a waste of time. And I didn't even get out of there until 9:30, and had to make the long trek back to my dorm all on the other side of campus. Ugh. I went to it hoping that maybe I'd be pleasantly surprised. It happens sometimes. There'll be at least some redeeming thing to a movie that I don't want to see, but then do see for whatever reason. There was none of that tonight. None. The plot was ridiculous, stupid, and seemed so jerky and here-there-everywhere-makes no sense. The characters themselves were dumb, and while I think I was supposed to feel sympathy or something for some of them, I definitely didn't. The acting wasn't that great either. And while I used to think Colin Farrell was hot, he definitely wasn't in this movie. And his voice just got on my nerves. It was just all around a bad bad movie. But yeah, how am I supposed to think that two people can meet, go out for drinks, come back and have sex (which they just have to show, and in a way that just barely makes sure there's no real nudity, kind of), and then like the next day are suddenly in love with each other enough to "complicate" the plot. I just don't buy it, and I don't feel sorry for them when they have this "oh we can't be together" scene. All I could think was, well Colin Farrell, you're plenty skanky, I'm sure you'll go find someone new to have sex with tonight and then think you're in love with her the next day.

Seriously. What a waste of two and a half hours, in a week where I really could have used that time. Oh and seriously, those sex scenes (there were a few)? COMPLETELY ridiculous and just there to have sex scenes. That bothers me like nothing else. That and those lovely "look his arm just got blown off by bullets, let's make sure and show it in all its goriness" and the "Hey, let's focus on all these people's heads being shot with bullets" and such. Unnecessary. And they just further my hate of this kind of movie. There's a reason I'm picky about movies I see, and I tend to stay away from some movies when I know there's stuff in them that's going to make me hate it. I wish the journals we had to do for each film weren't "Find examples of this type of camera shot and explain" crap and were instead what we thought of the film. Because I really want to know why we had to watch that piece of crap.

Procrastinate? Me? Never!

(The following are all my random thoughts that accumulated during the time I was supposedly working on my 6 page theo paper, due at 10:40 Monday morning. You may or may not notice the different topics to get more and more...depressing and pessimistic as it goes on, and as the hours pass, until...desperation...)

At one point this morning, I was waiting for the time I was supposed to meet with my spiritual director of the weekend, and to pass the time I decided to read the book of Ruth as it's short and interesting. So I was sitting there reading what I believe was the New American Translation or something like that, with New and American in the title, and there was...a typo. At least, I was fairly certain it was a typo. It was something like "a people whom who did not know previously," but it was one of the people (Boaz) talking directly to another one (Ruth), and thus the "who" in that sentence didn't make sense in the context. It should be "you." So I just looked it up online, whatever translation the USCCB has on their website, and it says "you" there. I suppose it could just be a difference in translations, but I don't see how "who" could be correct in that sentence and thus it seems like it's a typo. And that's just bizarre to me, to have a typo in the Bible. I mean, is that even possible?

I have a calendar that's taped to the wall directly in front of where I face when I'm at my computer. It's just scotch tape. Apparently this wall doesn't like that. My pictures and stuff stay up mostly no problem. But this calendar falls at least once a day. Maybe it's too heavy for the crappy scotch tape to stay on the probably equally crappy-to-stick-things-on wall. Either way, it's annoying, and I'm not sure of a solution. Hm.

Came across this article today. Cremated remains turned into diamonds. Specifically, those of a woman's pet. This way they can "always be with her." I love my pets, but this just seems...odd. Yet also oddly interesting. Intriguing, if you will. Not that I'd ever do it, I mean, it's like $6000some. That's a lot of money. I don't think I'm quite that weird. Yet.

I detest the binding of the Lafortune Copy shop. Where most teachers send course packets to be made. They're almost like the binding that goes around most notebooks, except they're plastic (and thus more flimsy), and the ring part doesn't go all the way around in a circle--the edge is one solid piece that the rings kind of come out of, and then fold under on the other side. And this makes it difficult to fold the packet like you can with a notebook. It's really irritating. And then the rings get bent out of shape and come out from under the solid part and start to come out of the pages they're holding and stuff, and it's just really annoying that I have to pay $50 for this thing. Often in addition to spending lots of money on other real books. Blah.

I meant to buy deoderant at Lafortune tonight. Dangit. I was really hoping that this stick would last me at least until this weekend (because whether they know it or not, my parents are taking me to the store to get a few things, like...bottled water, and...some other stuff I can't think of at the moment), but I think in order for that stick to last that long, I'll have to skimp a bit. And I don't think that deoderant is a place you should skimp. Although, the fact that it's winter and I'm hidden underneath layers of clothes definitely makes it easier. Less obvious for a longer period of time and whatnot. Ew. Sorry.

Oh my gosh. The girls in my hall are so unbelievably loud. Seriously, is it really appropriate to scream and laugh and whatnot at the top of your lungs when it's nearing 11pm? Dang.

Three Advils later and it's starting to feel a bit better. Alas, I don't have a tennis ball with which to give myself a mini-massage at the suggestion of my dad (put it on the floor under my back and roll it around the area a little), but aren't drugs wonderful? Bethany offered me some Vicodin when I was over there tonight. How I wish I could have that. Haha. I've never actually had any painkiller like that before. That'd be interesting to write a paper with. Does it mess with your sense of things? I don't really know. Hm. Maybe I'll find out if ever I get my wisdom teeth removed (which requires actually going to the dentist, which I haven't done in...about four years).

So, my mom said she'd bring Kebbie when they come out here this weekend. So that'll be nice. Ah, if only that were true. I could use a nice fluffy hug right about now. Just because it's been a month since I've had one, and they're always good to lift the spirits. Not that my spirits are down, but you know. Pets give you endorphines. The nun that lives in Bethany and Caitlin's hall has a Boston Terrier, and a couple weeks ago I went over there with them and I got to meet him (the dog), and we were just there for awhile, petting him and whatnot, and I felt so good afterwards. Petting dogs just make you feel happy. I guess maybe not if you're deathly allergic. But yeah. I love dogs. Most of them. Poodles are too pretentious, and like greyhounds and stuff seem too...delicate and fragile. I'm definitely a fan of the mutt, completely unassuming, not really worth much to some of the world and definitely not in monetary value, but a lot of times so ready to love. I guess not with all mutts. But yeah. We had good experiences with our two mutts, despite one of them being part chow. Apparently even chow mixes are really tempermental and mean. Kebbie's definitely not that at all. Which is a good thing, because I don't think my parents considered that when we got her, and that could have turned out to be a bad situation. But I guess she just got the good parts of the chow. Because she's just all good. Oh I love my Kebbie. And my fat Chicken of course, too, but cats are just different than dogs. Even if it is a very fat cat that likes to make weird noise and, well, sucks at being a cat sometimes. Ok I'm starting to get homesick for my pets. I love my pets. Mmhmmmm.

Argh this paper sucks. Not so much the writing, but the doing. It's like...it's a paper where all I have to do really is throw out a quote here and there, explain it a little, throw out another one, explain that too, fit it all into the thesis question thing, and then do the same for the next guy. I guess the problem is the finding the quotes. I manage well enough on those questions we have to do every week, though, and this is kind of really the exact same thing but a bit longer. That's all. I just have to do it, and we all know the problems I have with that. If only I could write a paper for school as easily as I write my own thoughts.

Did I mention that the retreat ended up being free? Apparently someone gave an endowment or something to cover the costs, so we all got our money back. So that's pretty cool. It was really neat to be able to go on the first retreat of this kind at Notre Dame. The inaugural one, if you will. They're definitely going to do it again next year, and I think it'll end up being pretty popular. Although, it probably only attracts a certain group of people, as it's probably not a type of retreat that's for everyone. But who knows.

Kebbie's puppy pictures are so darn cute. I look at them all the time because my eyes just stray right there a lot, as it's on the wall that I'm facing sitting here, and man. She was just this cuddly tiny little furball. So cute. Not that she's not still cute. She's still my baby puppy, of course. Always will be.

The thought just occurred to me that perhaps I might want to figure out a different arrangement for the shoulder strap tomorrow. Maybe do the sling over my head thing despite the bulk created by my winter coat, or even put the strap on my left shoulder. But I don't think that would work too well, as it's kind of like there's a divot in my right shoulder that allows straps of bags to stay on that shoulder. I don't have that on the left shoulder, because I never use it for that. But man, those three Advils I took didn't really do the trick. Perhaps helped for a bit, but it's getting more intense again. And I'm not anywhere near done my stupid paper yet, and it's midnight. And this doesn't make me happy or looking forward to tomorrow. Plus, there's something weird going on with my laptop and it doesn't want to let me print anything anywhere. I'm going to restart it later, and if that doesn't help I'll just have to email it to myself or put it on webfile, and try printing it from one of the computer clusters somewhere tomorrow. Sigh. How sad that such a great, uplifting, and relaxing weekend should be followed but such a downer of a night. Not that it wasn't exactly expected, as if you told me that I would have finished my paper by midnight tonight I probably would have been surprised, but still. This stupid back thing is killing me and taking all my energy and making me unable to think. It's frustrating. And then thinking of all that I have to do this week isn't helping: I have to (or should) finish some reading for my feasts and seasons class ASAP. I have to do more readings and questions for Trads by Friday (it'd be so nice if he gave us a break from the questions the week we have a paper due). I have to read another thing for my Middle Ages class by Friday, and I have a paper due in that class next Wednesday that I should start to think about, about which I was also just reminded by my TA who wants us to start coming with him with ideas, outlines, drafts...and I really should do that (especially considering this coming weekend's shot, too, thanks to JPW. Not that I'm complaining, obviously, about my parents coming), but when? And I have a test in FTT on Friday. Ick. And of course, various Latin things throughout. Things that take me no time to do, so I don't really count them. Surprised I haven't forgotten to do any so far. And people in my hall just won't. shut. up. It's after midnight. People should not be standing in the halls talking. Maybe I should go live in a retirement home. They probably quiet down really early there. Man I really hate being in a bad mood. It's sometimes really hard to be otherwise, though, when you're in pain. Pain that just won't go away, that makes you want to cringe, that makes you want to lay down, curl up, and go to sleep for a month.

I don't want to write this paper. But write it I must. Even if it's terrible. Who cares if it's terrible. I don't. What, am I going to get a B? People seem to look at Bs like the plague. Anything below an A is unacceptable. What happened to a B being a decent grade? I don't really care where I graduate as long as I get a degree. I mean, sure, it'd be cool to graduate with some sort of honors of one kind or another, but really will it matter in 10, 20, 30 years? I did my maniac obsessing over grades in high school. I'm done with that now. If I get a B (or--gasp!--even a B-), I'll live. I'll be ok. I'll survive. People might look at me like I have some sort of disease, but I'm sure they won't catch it. Did I mention I'm not sure if I'll be able to have senior status going into next semester? I'm supposed to have 6 semesters and 84 credits. Assuming last semester doesn't count as a semester, I'll only have 5, and I'll only have 84 credits if they let me transfer two classes from UCCS. Which I still haven't gone to check about, but which I plan to do this week. Was going to tomorrow but we'll see how my back's feeling at that point. So yeah. I don't know what that would do with like anything, but probably the worst it'll do is push back my registration time, which just means I wouldn't necessarily get the best pick of classes I want. Which really only affects non-theo classes I take, because they sign us up for theo classes before the registration date, and I have yet to have a problem getting into a theo class I want.

I don't even feel like I'm writing a paper. I feel like I'm copying quotes from readings and basically rewording them as a means of "explanation," but none of it's me. The whole point of this is to make us "dive deeper" into understanding of the readings. All I'm doing is skimming until I find a quote that seems like something I can make fit the topic I'm looking for. And do you know how long these readings are? I'm just hoping that when I read through them the first time I managed to underline/highlight sentences that are at least semi-applicable, because that's a lot of stuff to read over again just to find some quotes. Oh well, it's what he wants I guess. I'd rather write a thought paper. Although at this point I don't want to write anything. My body's shutting down on me for the night, all my energy is going to that one point on my back that is just laughing at my discomfort.

I wrote a lot this weekend. A LOT. My hand is sore from it. I wonder if that could be aggravating this as well. I'm not sure. It's the same side though, so who knows. My poor right side, I depend on it for so much. My left side just kind of sits there and says, "Yeah, I'm here, I make things look balanced, but boy do I have the easy life." And my poor right side can't talk because it's so out of breath from everything I make it do. I mean, even if I cross one eye (as I do on occasion to freak people out), I can really only cross the right on command. Sometimes I can the left, but it usually takes a lot more concentration and such. Sometimes I really really wish I could write with both hands. That would be so nice. I write a lot, especially with five classes in a day, and my hand gets tired. It'd be nice to have the use of both. The left seems kind of...useless, just hanging out there all the time. Hm. I mean, technically I can write with it, but not very quickly, and not very legibly. So that's no good.

Here's some haikus for the night.

Oh my aching back,
How you cause me much sorrow.
I am in great pain.

Oh Advil Gel Caps,
You fool my desperate mind,
I just want relief.

Dear Trads II Paper,
You take far too long to write,
I'm quite sick of you.

Ok I'm done with that. I just realized that tomorrow night, in that lovely Monday night FTT class viewing, I have to watch Miami Vice. I'm being forced to watch a movie that looks incredibly dumb (and is, from what I've heard) and that I desperately don't want to see, when I could be taking that time to do something productive like one of the many numerous readings I have to do for this week, or getting a head start on the paper due next Wednesday, or even practicing my violin. I haven't had time to practice at all, as I was gone all weekend. I think last week I practiced twice over the weekend, so I'm behind on that compared to last week. I mean it's not a huge deal, but what's the point of paying for lessons if I'm not going to practice between them? So I have to do that tomorrow, for sure, in between finishing my five classes, going to dinner, and going to the stupid movie screening. If only I could take a book to read during the movie. It's too dark in there though.

Man I'm so tired.

The only 8:30 classes I've had in my college career (thus far three semesters of it--spring semester of freshman, sophomore, and now junior years) have been languages. Two Spanish (boo) and one Latin, which for some reason isn't as hard to drag myself to that early as it was to drag myself to Spanish. One thing's for sure though. While I chose it willingly and because of the classes, my schedule this semester kind of sucks in retrospect. Even my Tuesday Thursday, what with the working til 4 both days and all. There's just something awesome about being done early. Something I really miss having this semester.

Bleh. Done. Tomorrow's going to suck ever so slightly. Four classes, a break, another class, and then maybe I can catch a nap. But I'm going to feel obligated to practice violin for a least a little while. And I guess going to Mass tomorrow night's probably out of the question, as I do also have to eat and then waste two hours of my life watching stupid Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell blow up things and probably cuss a lot and such. Thrilled, I am.

I really want to go to bed

Update on the back thing: I spent some time over at the new St Liam Hall (haha), more commonly referred to as health services, to visit Bethany who has been over there sick with mono since Friday morning. I visited her this afternoon too, but me and Caitlin went back tonight, as she's quite lonely and bored over there. So that was nice, and I got to sit in a chair that reclined a bit, and was slightly padded, and that was nice. So I got a bit of a respite from horrible pain and it was more just a dull pain. And after that I went to the Huddle to see about those Icy Hot patches, but all they have is a box with one in it, and it's like $6. I know they're just flexpoints, but I've been spending them a bit too freely thus far, and I don't want to spend $6 on one patch that may or may not even help. So instead I got a thing of advil. I have excedrin (and kind of lots of it), but that's more of a headache thing. Doesn't seem to do much for other pains. I suppose it should, theoretically, and it's probably basically the same thing chemical-wise, but who knows. Maybe the placebo effect will make a difference here.

So, it's getting toward 10pm, and I'd really like to have this thing done by midnight. So here I go. Wish me luck. (Of course, the chances anyone will read this before midnight tonight are very slim. But that's ok.) Oh, and also wish me luck that I'll be able to get things to print from my computer. If I can't get anything to print to the printer downstairs, I'll have to send it to the Lafortune printer or something, and get ready to go earlier than normal (which I'm not good at doing) and go over there before my first class tomorrow. So...yeah. Hm. Well...yeah. Bye.

(Oh yeah, one more thing. I'd be lying if I said I weren't a little bit jealous of parts of New York right now. But I suppose for a lot of people, it's more harmful than the bit of joy--or even lots of joy--I'd get from it is worth.)

Sometimes I'm like a broken record

I live a fairly boring life, what can I say. Chances are you're going to hear about the same thing more than once. Tonight, it's my back. It's getting to the point where I'm almost in tears. I can't sit comfortably anywhere, which makes the whole writing a 6 page paper that's due tomorrow slightly difficult. I'll get it done, I always do, but...my back hurts so very much. I'm thinking about going over to Lafortune in a bit and maybe getting one of those Icy/Hot patches. I don't know if that would do a thing, but I'm desperate. I need to write this paper, and the only semi-comfortable position I seem to be able to find is sitting on my knees, leaning forward so that my elbows are on the ground. (Or bed.) Or perhaps even lower than that. And as you can imagine, that position does not lend itself well to paper-writing. Ok I found another one. The "lean down and put your head between your knees with your arms touching the ground" position also seems to alleviate the pain a bit, for a little while at least. But again, hard to write a paper when all the blood is rushing to your head. I suppose I could put my laptop on the ground and try that but...that'd be weird. Besides, it doesn't work as well if I'm holding my head up even slightly. Oh man this is painful. It's been bothering me pretty constantly all weekend, and has been off and on before that, and yeah. Definitely not looking forward to sitting through five classes in a row tomorrow. I think it's the sitting for long periods of time that's getting me. Maybe if I sit with really good posture all day long, I'll be ok. Ugh.

Here's hoping I can push through it long enough to finish this paper at a reasonable hour, as there's a very big part of me that wants desperately to go lay down in bed right now and just sleep. Even though I did get good sleep this weekend. (In bed before 10 Friday night, and by 11 Saturday night, and up just a bit before 8am Saturday and Sunday mornings, and even a nap yesterday afternoon. Quite nice.)

Sigh.

For what it's worth

I'm just going to say it. I don't know what it means or how it's going to happen or if it's going to happen, but...

I want to be a writer. I really really do. I have no idea how to go about doing anything about it though, or getting it to happen, and why would I presume that I have anything to say that anyone would want to read (besides, like, my mom--who is great, by the way!). But there it is. It's something that I've always wanted to be, at least in some way. Somewhere hidden in the clutter of my room (probably in one of my two trunks of "treasure"--aka junk; they're junk trunks! haha), there are a few pages of the beginnings of attempts at stories, written by an 8 year old me. Ok, I don't really know how old I was, but it was somewhere around there. Perhaps a little younger. Not sure. Either way, they're there. Or somewhere. Even then it was something that attracted me. But now it's like, well, shouldn't I be doing something like being an English major? The English classes I take end up disappointing me. Of course, those are more literature classes, which isn't exactly related to wanting to write. I should take a creative writing course. I wonder if they have any available. They must. Anyway. There it is. Now, if only I could find some well-paying internship that lets me write, I'd be in heaven. But I'm pretty sure that's not something that is common, if it exists at all. Well, obviously, the "well-paying" part is just a pipe dream. Apparently you can only get well paying internships if you're an engineer or maybe a business major or something. Well paying (or paying at all) internships (if there are internships) for theology majors don't exactly come along...ever. Ok well I've never really looked for one. But people wanting theo majors don't really come to career and internship fairs. So...yeah. anyway.

I don't know if anything will ever come of this. I mean, people who write are a dime a dozen, right? I'm not really terribly talented. But I so love to write. And it would be so fabulous if I could do something that lets me write. And get paid for it. (I mean, last summer I did intern at a place where I got to write a bit--albeit not exactly the kind of stuff I want to write, as I don't think I'm really a journalist--but no money was to be had there, and I was really ok with it as it was lots of fun and exactly the environment that I love, but it did require I find a less desirable job elsewhere.) It's just not fair that the engineers get these great, well-paid internships for the summer, doing something related to their majors, and us arts and letters students get screwed. I mean, it's our choice to be majoring in something we're (theoretically, most of us anyway) interested in, but shouldn't we get to be paid for it in the summers too? Sigh. I don't know. I mean, ok, I have this little fantasy thing in my head about something that would be amazing, but I'm not about to share it with the world (or, the five people who might read this), because it's really unreasonable and stupid and unrealistic. But it's fun to think about anyway.

Anyway, I'm rambling here. I just wanted to get that out there. Because it kind of really really really hit me this weekend. I think it's been building for a little while. But yeah. There it is. For what it's worth.

Back to the real world

Well, it was a wonderful weekend. Not quite what I was expecting, but not in a bad way. It's amazing how easy and natural it can become to be completely silent--even while eating--when you're asked to do it all weekend. And how loud the real world seems once you get back to it. Once we were done today, and went to go eat lunch, we all felt kind of weird breaking the silence, sitting together to eat, talking to each other while eating. It was odd. But nice. Makes you appreciate what you're saying, in a way.

One thing more. (And I'll probably, maybe, talk more about the retreat later.) My back is killing me lately. This little area kind of right below my right shoulder blade. It's been bothering me all weekend, and before that too. Not sure what it is, but it's painful. Kind of like whatever muscle is there isn't getting stretched or moved the way it wants to be or something. Maybe all the sitting from the weekend? I don't know. Oh well. It's a way to get a tiny taste of what God went through, right?

Gone for the weekend

I'll be leaving here soon, within the next hour and a half, for the retreat. Alternately looking forward to it and feeling apprehensive about it. In the end, it'll at least be a new and interesting experience I'm sure. I just don't know what to expect because I'm expecting it to be different than past retreats I've been on, most of which have followed a general basic pattern. But most of that involved a lot of talking (including those dreaded small group discussions, of which I'm never a huge fan). I kinda have this idea in my head that this will just be a bunch of "Go sit by yourself and think about this or that" kind of deal, perhaps with a few prayer exercises or something mixed in here and there. I really don't know. One thing I'm hoping for, though, is the opportunity to sleep. As in, I hope there isn't something planned until 1 in the morning both nights and then something else planned for 6 hours later both mornings. I need sleep. I was not good to my body last night, and I'm kinda paying for it right now. So I hope I get a chance to sleep. And if this is anything like I think it might be, I may end up accidentally sleeping even more than we're slated to sleep (as in, I might fall asleep while sitting there, "being quiet" and whatnot). I just have no idea what to expect.

Well, I'm off to take a shower, then pack, then probably leave shortly thereafter. Have a good weekend, folks!

Eh, I already wasted a lot of the night anyway

"Odd facts about me"

DO YOU SNORE?:
Perhaps occasionally. Don't really know for sure.
LOVER OR A FIGHTER?:
I hate fighting. Yet, sometimes it seems like I seek it out. Rarely, but sometimes.
WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?:
Losing someone I love. Particularly someone unexpected.
AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?:
Not much. My older brother was, so we all were to a degree, and my sister and I even got the "Dream Builders" sets one year ("The building set just for girls" or something like that), but yeah. Never hard core.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY TV"?:
Root of all evil in this country. Ok maybe not. But most of it is just crap. And unless you count Jeopardy, I don't really watch any of it.
DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?:
Yeah.
WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?:
I was pretty darn cute, I think.
HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?:
It's all I know. So, ok I guess.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?:
Black.
DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?:
At home, sometimes, if I have the radio on and it's a good song.
HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?:
No, and never will. I shudder to think about it.
ANY SECRET TALENTS?:
Well, if I told you they wouldn't be secret.
WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?:
Does it count if I've never been there? I guess I'll play it safe and say...Breckenridge. Or, even better, Rocky Mountain National Park.
HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?:
No. Hope never to, either.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?:
Unfortunately. What a waste of two hours.
DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?:
Not particularly. I mean, I don't want to bake like...a lobster or anything, and I do like me some cold weather and snow, but I don't know. What's gonna happen will happen.
HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?:
I'm too impatient to find out. I always end up chewing hard candy, no matter what kind.
CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?:
Yeah.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?:
No. Never. Oh wait, except for like the 30 or 40 times I have...
ARE SPEEDO'S HOT?:
I think, personally, that we should go back to like the 1950s look of bathing suit. Cut down on skin cancer and stuff, maybe. As well as potentially embarrassing situations that might arise from a precariously placed teeny tiny bathing suit accidentally shifting...
WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?:
As long as it's not done to excess or just for fun, and the animal killed is actually used for something necessary (like, meat and stuff), it's ok. Something like clubbing baby seals just for their fur? Yeah not so much ok. And no hunting endangered animals either. That's not cool.
IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?:
Boy do I hope (and pray) so.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?:
Much more so when I write cursive, but not in general. Maybe if I were more patient and wrote more slowly, but half the time I'm writing as fast as I can to keep up with notes in class, so that's not so conducive to nice neat stylized handwriting. At least in my case. (And I've been told that my non-cursive looks like boy handwriting.)
WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?:
Your face. Haha. Nothing, that I know of.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU":
With my mouth...yesterday, maybe, to my sister? On AIM, tonight.
IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?:
I don't really ever think about it.
DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?:
I cried during my sister's (which was unexpected, and quickly stemmed). Don't think I've cried at any others. Mayhap while watching a wedding scene in some TV show or movie recently, who knows.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?:
On someone else's plate. Or, if I must, scrambled. Or, even better, in batter for French Toast.
ARE BLONDES DUMB?:
Everyone has their moments.
WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?:
You know, ever since I started doing my own laundry (probably a good 5, 6 years ago), I haven't lost a single sock that I remember. And now I will, next time I do laundry. And then someone else will find it, on the floor, or in their laundry that they pull from the machine I was using.
WHAT TIME IS IT?:
Time for me to have gone to bed two hours ago. I seriously could have, had I not wasted time tonight. But I really wanted to waste time tonight. I knew what I was doing.
DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?:
Pretty much everyone who ever talks to me calls me a nickname. And then some people call me a few others too.
IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?:
Mostly. But man, do they make a good McFlurry. And I've even been known to crave their quarter pounders with cheese on occasion...like right now...man that sounds good.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?:
Um...last Saturday.
DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?:
I think baths are nice, but as the only one I have regular access to (that I'd even consider taking a bath in) is too small for me to relax comfortably, I don't really know how nice they can be. So I'm a shower girl, at least until I get a nice BIG long bathtub in which to try a real bath.
IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?:
I doubt there's really a Santa Clause.
IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?:
In a manner of speaking.
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?:
When I succeed in creeping myself out, yes.
WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?:
My blog (ha), Internet in general, those SnackWells cookies I mentioned the other day, water, food that's bad for me, reading...
HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?:
Ummmm...I don't think so
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?:
Once. Soon to be twice.
IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?:
My dad always reminds me, don't do drugs.
ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?:
Yeah. I like socks. They're cool.
WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Let's see...I think it was almost two weeks ago? Yeah. Hm. Seems like it was more recent. Odd.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?:
Generally.
WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?:
I don't know, everyone else's lives are different, and no one's is perfect.
ARE YOU PSYCHIC?:
Well, I did have that dream one time where I was a snake and I bit Mr. Weasley...oh wait. Nevermind. No.
HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?:
No, I didn't get to read any real or good classical literature in high school. I read crap like Bless Me, Ultima and Ficciones and Hard Times. Ick.
DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?:
Yes indeedy. Viomalin, a teeny bit of guitar, and bits of piano as well (whatever little I can remember from my lessons all those many years ago). Oh, and can't forget the nose flute. I wonder where that thing is...
CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?:
Can't say that I've ever really tried. And I'm ok with that.
DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?:
I could do without the bugs, but yes indeedy.
DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?:
Not typically. If I'm really laughing, it tends to be more silent with occasional huge loud intakes of breath.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?:
Only in Harry Potter.
IS A DOG A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?:
I don't know, but they're pretty darn great.
YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?:
I believe it's necessary on occasion, but in general, no. And definitely not at the rate it is now. Or for many of the reasons people cite.
CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?:
Seriously doubt it.
WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Banana flavored Laffy Taffy. Man, Laffy Taffy rocks.
DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH?:
I polish my nails every now and again, but not often because I'm too lazy to take it off once it starts to chip (which is like...ten minutes later), so they end up being half chipped off (or more) before I finally take it all off.
DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:
No, I hate everyone. haha.
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?:
How can I pick just one from all the crap commercials that are out there? A number of car, particularly truck, commercials are very irritating, but they might be mostly over now that football's over. I don't really see many commercials nowadays anyway, thanks to a greatly limited amount of TV watching.
DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?:
Never. I find that they're a bit above what I like to spend on clothes.
FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?:
Does Yo-Yo Ma count as a band? Or, how about the London Symphony Orchestra? I think I decided that I have the greatest number of CDs with them as the artist than any other one artist. They're pretty good, did you know?

I really do prefer the cello

Next time I have some expendable cash, enough that I don't feel bad buying myself a few CDs, I'm definitely buying me som Yo-Yo Ma. Man, he is freaking amazing. I think cello music is just so beautiful. I'm not really a fan of solo violin music, oddly enough, but I absolutely adore solo cello stuff. Love it. I've wanted to get a Yo-Yo Ma CD for...years now, really. Don't know why I have yet to do so. I'm especially interested in this CD, ever since I heard one song from it on accuradio last week (and then listened to the other clips on the amazon page), and I also really really very much want to get this CD, Appalachian Journey, and probably Appalachia Waltz too. Those are kinda less because of Yo-Yo Ma and more just because they're some sweet awesome music. I've heard a few of the songs from Appalachian Journey on the same classical accuradio station that I heard that other Yo-Yo Ma song from the other CD, and I absolutely love them. They're very much in the same kind of vein as that one Christmas song I hear on the radio every year that I am in love with, the A Strings version of Jingle Bells. I'll definitely be investing in at least the appalachian journey one sometime soon, for sure. Because, seriously, it freaking rocks. Absotudalutely. And man, cello music is amazing. I just love love love it. It's so...rich and deep and resonant and beautiful. Great stuff.

Oh, and I just decided that I also have to buy the movie My Best Friend's Wedding at some point. Because it's just a great movie. And I pretty much never see it in non-edited for TV format anymore. And it's a great movie. We're watching Friends reruns at the moment on TBS, and they keep showing commercials for it because they're playing it tomorrow night. Alas, I won't be here. I should definitely rent it like over spring break or something. Hm. So I have to rent that, and the Maltese Falcon, and An American in Paris over spring break. Good stuff.

Ok, totally unrelated, but I was just reading something about dogs, and man I really miss Kebbie. She's so fluffy and fun to hug and hold. I love her so very very much. My lovely baby puppy. Whose...13th (or is it 14th? Garh why can I never remember...I think 13) birthday is March 10. Which happens to be the day I come home for spring break. Good stuff.

(I would like to point out that I ended each paragraph with either "great" or "good" stuff. I'm good at reusing the same phrase over and over...and over.)

First stress of the semester

I'm kind of stressing out ever so slightly. I have a 6 page paper due on Monday, and will be on a retreat all weekend. And I have no idea what I'm going to write about. That's absolutely the worst part about this whole thing. I have to come up with some question or idea or issue that I can write six pages on easily, and mostly on Sunday. And here's the other thing: Normally, having to stay up late to finish a paper wouldn't bother me. But I can't do that as well this semester, since I'm barely surviving in all my classes with as much sleep as I'm getting. Cut into that amount of sleep any more, and I'll be a walking zombie pretty much. And that's why this is stressful. I'm going to have to burn rubber as soon as I get back on Sunday to get the stupid paper finished, and we all know that it's the last thing I'm going to want to do right away. But I have to. I'm no good at doing that, but I have to if I want to have any hope of being conscious in my classes (all FIVE of them) on Monday. There is the choice of skipping my first two, and just showing up to the third and handing in the paper (and then, obviously, staying for that one and the next two), but I'm not a fan of skipping class unless it's really necessary. So...I don't know. I finished the reading for the class in which I have the paper, the reading we have to finish for Friday and then come up with two questions about (and then answer them...such a pain, I tell you, and it's already very old after four weeks of it--it would be magnificent if he let us off the hook just one week here or there. Man). I haven't done the questions, but the past ones I've BSed something in like half an hour the night before, and managed pretty well so far. But still. Argh this is stressful. Not to mention I have stuff to do in other classes, too.

I'm stressed. And exhausted. I need to go to bed. Thank God I don't have to be anywhere until my 11am class tomorrow. Because man. My butt is being seriously kicked this week.

Edit: So, I looked through the readings, I came up with some sort of a topic idea, and I emailed my professor with my concerns, questions, and the idea. I feel lots better now. He'll probably email me back and tell me it sucks and I should be kicked out of school for such a horrible idea (haha), but at least it's a start, and I don't feel like I'm leaving it to the very last minute. I'm really trying to do things right this semester. I'm really tired right now, but I stayed up a little later than I wanted to and I got another good chunk of the reading I have to finish for Friday for my middle ages class done as well. So hopefully tomorrow night won't be as bad as past Thursday nights. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get a nice start on that essay. Wouldn't that be a boost going into the weekend?

In a cloud of exhaustion

Man I can't think. I can barely move, I'm so tired. And it's not like I stayed up ridiculously late. I mean, I got 6 hours of sleep, that's not totally unreasonable is it? Seems like no matter how much sleep I get I'm always tired. Oh well.

Today was so long. As I was walking to my third class, all I could think was "Man, I still have an hour and 15 minute long class after this one." And then I sighed. Inwardly at least. Ugh. And in that third class, where we have a paper due on Monday, I was hoping he'd start out by going over what he wants for the paper, as this past Monday he kind of briefly mentioned something but it was already the end of class and he hadn't left any time to say much, so we were still confused about it. And then today he did the same thing, much to our frustration. Luckily I just have to go one floor down to the next class, and have 15 minutes to do so, so I and most others stayed a little longer to hear him say whatever he was going to say. It was just frustrating that he had to talk the whole time on stuff I wasn't even retaining. And stuff that we can't really use for the paper either. So oh well. I don't really have any clue what I'm going to do about the paper, but I'll manage. I always do. I just hate that I have to come up with my own question. Makes it lots worse. Ah well.

The next class, the hour 15 minute long one, sometimes bothers me. Of course, because it's Feasts and Seasons and that's the one I was most looking forward to before the semester started, and that means it's the one that I'm having a bit more trouble in. Well, not trouble really, but here's the thing. The way he lectures doesn't mesh well with the way I like to take notes. It seems just very disorganized and hard to follow and really hard to write down things he says as he doesn't really leave much time between thoughts. I haven't quite pinpointed what it is, but it's something like that which is giving me the trouble. I really like him though, he's fun, and it seems to be more towards the beginning of class that I have the most trouble following him. Plus, right now we're just kind of going over basics and haven't even really begun to talk about the different feasts and seasons much (it's more the history of the liturgical year and whatnot, so it seems that he repeats a lot of the same basic concepts every day), so hopefully once we get into that, next week I think, things will get a little better. I hope. But yeah. The other thing is he leaves like 20 minutes at the end of each class for us to talk and ask questions and such, but refuses to let us go even five minutes early even if no one has anything to say or ask. And by that point, my fourth class of the day, I just want to go and not waste time talking about things that don't really matter or interest me. (And it's especially annoying when someone decides to ask something when there's like a minute left. He might let us go a minute early, but then someone raises their hand and then we're kept a minute or two late, and that's just no good. Maybe if that were my only class, or anything but my fourth class, I wouldn't mind much. But it is, so I do.) Anyway though.

I was annoyed at the beginning of my Middle Ages class today. I had taken a cup of coffee with me from the dining hall after lunch, and set it on the table thing where I was sitting in that class. People were coming in and such, and I was just sitting there, taking a sip every few minutes. Then this kid walks through the row right in front of me, his coat open so that it's hanging over the end of the table where I'm sitting, and I saw it coming: I reached to grab for my coffee cup before he and his coat got to it, but I was a split second too late and he knocked it over. Didn't even notice or anything. All I had was a little packet of tissues, which don't seem to hold much moisture very well, so once I got at least a majority of it contained with the tissues I had, I went to the bathroom and got some paper towel from there and got the rest of it. I was just annoyed though, both at myself for not reacting more quickly, and at the kid for being in his own world and not realizing that there's space outside of himself. Argh. I wanted that cup of coffee. :-(

Violin went ok. I mean, like last week, the last thing I wanted after five classes was to go to a lesson, but once I was there it was fine. I have a lot of little things I'm sloppy with regarding how I play, mostly because I progressed rather quickly when I first started private lessons way back when that I seem to have skipped some of the fundamentals and whatnot, and then I stopped the private lessons so I never really worked to improve the sloppy things that I do, and now it's coming out again (and worse, because I'm so out of shape, so to speak). But it's ok. And now I'm considering next year doing violin lessons again instead of going to guitar, because I think I might want to keep up with it. We'll see how the semester progresses, however. I do want to learn guitar (beyond what I taught myself from the "teach yourself guitar" book that I think came with my guitar), but yeah. We'll see.

I came across these humorous youtube movie trailer recuts today:
Scary Mary
Office Space

Check them out. They'll probably give you at least a smirk. (Although personally I don't think they're quite as good as my favorite, the Sound of Music recut. Classic and wonderful.)

So, I have that retreat this weekend. I was talking to a friend yesterday who's been on two silent retreats before, and I was asking her about it (specifically, mealtimes and whatnot, if we're not allowed to talk at all even then, and she said they play music or a book on tape or something so it's not just this awkward silence), and I think it'll be good. They told us in an email to bring a Bible if we want (and I realized that I left my bible at home, unfortunately), and like a prayer journal or something like that. Now that's something I can definitely get into. I think I can easily go quite awhile without talking, as I'm not generally a big talker anyway. But I hate going long periods of time without writing. It's my outlet. And I do have a prayer journal that I use, so I'll probably be employing that as much as possible this weekend. I hope it's good. I'm always nervous before retreats, thinking it was a mistake to sign up, always. And I always end up having a good time or whatever. So I'm sure that'll be the case again this time. And this is one instance in which it'll probably be better that I don't know anyone, because there won't be temptation to talk to people, and I won't feel awkward about not knowing anyone because theoretically people won't be able to sit and chat with their friends all the time. So yeah. Good stuff. I hope.

I woke up this morning at some time like 4:37 or something (I looked at the clock when I realized I was awake, as it's not normal for me to wake up in the middle of the night usually), and I had just had some dream. I don't think it was a bad dream, but I think it was interesting. I know I remembered it at that point. But when I really woke up (because of my alarm) two and a half hours later, I couldn't remember anything but that I woke up at some point earlier. Nor could I remember the dream I had been having before this real wake-up. It seems that that's been happening to me quite a bit lately. I remember more often that I had a dream, but not the dream itself, than I remember the actual dream. Kinda frustrating, actually, because dreams are fun to recount sometimes. Maybe if, one of these days, I can wake up naturally and without the aid of an alarm, I'll actually remember a dream I had. Unfortunately, that's probably not very likely as I have something every day that necessitates the use of an alarm. (Unless one Sunday morning I feel like sleeping in and going to a dorm Mass at night instead of a Basilica Mass. Usually, getting up earlier for Basilica is worth it.)

I read somewhere the other day that the whole not splitting infinitives thing is really a myth, and that it's really not technically wrong to do it. I will fight this to my dying day, and every one I read will continue to grate on me. I don't care what anyone says.

I need to go do something else. Like...get a caffeine shot or something. Ugh.

Cardinals

Today, as I was about to leave for dinner, I happened to look out my window to see if it was still snowing. It was, but that's not what caught my attention. I almost missed it, but some movement in the tree caught my eye, and I turned to look at it. There, right outside my window, perhaps a foot or two away from me, was a gorgeous red cardinal, just sitting there on a snow-covered branch. I, of course, had to get my camera, as I absolutely love cardinals in the snow. It's just such a stark and beautiful contrast, the red-red of the bird against the white-white of the snow and the sky and everything else. I love it. It flew away after a minute, but I noticed that it flew to this tree on the other side of the main door to Lewis from my room. So I decided to go out the main door, instead of the side door that I normally go out. As I did, I looked in that tree, and I saw like ten birds in this one tree, mixed in with the snow and the berries that have hung onto the branches through the months. There were a few that were some bird I don't know, but they looked quite fluffy (I guess they'd have to be to be here in the winter), and then there were like six cardinals in this one tree. It was like a conclave. (Get it? A bunch of cardinals, together, like a meeting of them? Haha. Oh, Catholic jokes.) Anyway. I was very very enchanted by the scene. I don't see cardinals a lot, so I love it when I do. I mean, seriously, words cannot express how much I love it: Snow falling down, everything made beautiful and quiet by the snow, and there in the middle, when everything else just wants to hide or get inside, find somewhere warm to be, are these strikingly red birds, in their element.

God is so good, isn't He?

It was a nice little present in the middle of my day, though, because I had a not so good day before that. Work was just irritating for some reason. Not work itself, but all the people. Oh, the people. Just little things like refusing to put cash into my hand and instead plunking it down on the counter, despite my hand being held out for the very purpose of taking it from them; or asking me questions like I know every little thing about this entire campus; or taking their sweet sweet time putting things in bags or their backpacks and crowding the counter while doing it, despite the fact that there's a long line behind them that they are holding up because they can't pick up their things and move over a foot or two, or even to one of the tables like five feet outside the actual store itself; and speaking of bags, finding it necessary to get their own off of the roll of bags despite the fact that I've already taken some off the roll and even opened them up and laid them down on the counter so as to speed up the process of getting a bag and putting it in, because for some reason people are inept at getting those bags off of the rolls and opening them up, even though there are easy "how to open" instructions on the top of the bag (to be fair, they are a pain to get off of the rolls, but seriously, there's no excuse for not seeing the instructions. Especially people who are not freshmen. But I guess not everyone is around those as much as I am, and it took me at least a few weeks into my first semester working there to notice, but still. That's why I open them for people in the first place, and that's why it bothers me that they ignore the already opened, ready and waiting bags). Oh, and the people who seem to know absolutely NOTHING about the Huddle. Like, not knowing where spoons are. Seriously, do these people never ever come to Lafortune? Even if you're a freshman, how could you not by now know where plastic silverware is, or where the bags for the candy in the bins agains the wall are, or how the salad bar works, or something.

Ok, sorry, I just had to vent. At the end of four hours today all I wanted was to leave and not have to talk to people for awhile. I don't know if I just didn't have any patience today, or if people were particularly dumb today, but man. It got really old really quickly.

And then I was done, and that's always good, and I got grabngo, and then I went to dinner, and then I went to Cavanaugh, where I did a bit of homework and watched Jeopardy, and then I went to Four:7. To which I haven't gone in almost a year. I think I didn't go at all after spring break last year. Maybe once or twice. But not much. So yeah. It was good, though. The speaker tonight was a guy who's going to be ordained this April (you know how they do ordinations every year, the weekend after Easter, and how the past two years I've kind of wished I had gone and such?), and I really want to go to that this year because I kind of know him, having seen him around places, and I also had a class with him last year (my teaching catechesis one), so yeah. That'll be cool to go to. I hope I can. Anyway. Interestingly enough, his talk tonight was about vocations. Well, this is something I've been grappling with more recently. Not necessarily vocations in the religious sense (as in, not necessarily wondering whether I should be a nun or something, because I definitely feel no calling whatsoever for that--despite the fact that sometimes I think I just don't want that so badly that were a calling to come, I wouldn't hear it, but then I realize that my feelings on it would probably change if that's what I was supposed to do, but who knows), but just in general. What should I be. Or, more accurately, what does God want me to be? Because that, in the end, is what really matters. It's just frustrating sometimes, feeling like I'm never going to know what he wants me to be, or that I'll never figure it out. Or if I do figure out, I won't know how to go about doing it. Whatever the case, though, I think I need to let it go a little bit and just trust that God will lead me in the right direction if I let him. Because I'm pretty sure if I rely on myself to lead me anywhere, only bad things will come of it. (Maybe not terrible horrible bad things, just not as good as they could be things.)

Anyway.

Easier said than done.

But God's always watching out for us, always giving us little signs that he's there, even in small things like the beauty of a cardinal on a cold and snowy afternoon.

It's all in your perspective

Perspective (a word I just looked up because I had a momentary lapse and couldn't figure out if that was actually a word or not...and as a result it now looks like it's not a word even though I know it is. And I also couldn't decide if I meant perspective or perception. I'm just not sure. Is there much difference?) is a very interesting thing. What looks like one thing to one person can look like something completely different to another person with a different set of beliefs or experiences or thought processes.

Take, for instance, the weather right now. It's 7 degrees above zero at the moment, and feels like it too. (First time in awhile it's actually felt like the temperature on the thermometer. Or whatever they use to measure temperature.) To many people (say, maybe, everyone I know back home in Colorado, where it was apparently in the 50s or 60s today, or perhaps people who live in California and haven't lived a day in temperatures below 40), 7 degrees above zero is beyond freezing. Stay inside by the fire with a cup of hot chocolate weather. To me, after having experienced multiple days that felt in the 0s and 10s and 20s below freezing, walking outside in 7 degree weather is almost warm. Like, "hm I think I can walk five minutes outside without my gloves on and my hands won't freeze and be numb" warm.

Or, perhaps, take the differences between an engineering major and an English major. To the former, having to write a 5 page paper is torturous, and incomprehensible. To the latter, a 5 page paper might be getting off easy.

Obviously there are no hard and fasts here; maybe a person from California is just so warm naturally that 7 above zero wouldn't faze him, and maybe an engineer loves writing so much that a 5 page assignment is cake. But it's definitely interesting how the way one grew up, or what one becomes, can affect so much how that person sees life. Or how finding out one tiny bit of information can completely change how someone sees someone else.

It's just interesting. So many different people with so many different ways of seeing life, yet we all live together, get along (for the most part), even influence each other so that our perspectives aren't so narrow.

It's barely after 9pm

...and I'm already half asleep. Tonight, even though I always say it and rarely follow through, I am going to bed early. Preferably before midnight. And it will be lovely. Especially as I don't have to be up until after 10 tomorrow. I could push it to 11:30 if I really wanted to, and didn't take a shower before work. But if I go to bed by midnight, waking up at 10 seems reasonable. Anyway. I'm feeling kind of not so good right now. Probably at least in part because I'm exhausted. And I'm sure the nice little walk from DPAC back here didn't help. Honestly, it wasn't terrible. I mean, it only feels like -15 below. That's not too bad. ha. The worst part was that my legs pretty much froze, and thus I took a bit of a respite in Lafortune and bought myself some tea. I fell in love with the something or other blackberry tea they have at the Huddle. And, I mean, it's 65 cents. For any size. You can't beat that. Well, I guess if I bought a box of teabags and made it in my dorm room I might, but I don't really have that option at the moment. And I really don't get tea much. I just happen to have gotten it twice today. Feeling lousy will do that. Tea is good when you feel lousy. So is Dayquil. Mmm dayquil. Feels so good going down. Honestly don't know if it ever does much for me beyond that, but at least it soothes my throat for a little while if nothing else. (As an aside, I got some honey to put in my tea tonight, which I never do because it seems that I need loads just to taste it, but whatever. I just looked at the packet, and it says: "Honey. Ingredients: US Grade A Honey." Made me laugh a little.)

So, the movie we had to watch tonight, Breathless, was...I don't know. It was ok I guess. I kind of was dozing off in the middle. It seemed to go on forever, even though it was probably only like an hour 15 minutes or something. Maybe longer than that. We got out at 8:40 though, and that's with the little Pepe Le Pu cartoon we watched beforehand (which probably took all of like 5 minutes). Anyway. It was just weird though. Probably more sophisticated than I can handle, and that's why I didn't get it. And you know what? I'm ok with that.

I haven't practiced my violin as much as I would have liked. I've never been very good at sitting down and practicing. It's hard to find time and motivation and a place to do it. I mean, if my roommate's not here, it's fine to practice in my room (although I am slightly weirded out at the fact that everyone in the hall and probably other rooms can hear everything, but there's not much I can do about that), but sometimes she is, and I don't want to bother her with my sub-par playing. And man, having 5 classes in one day really takes a lot out of me. Actually, technically the two days that I have 5 classes, I actually have six, if you count the movie screening as a class, and if you count the violin lesson itself as a class. It's rather stressful. Although Wednesdays are better because I'm totally done by 4, and then have the night to relax (and do homework), and Mondays I'm gone from 7-9 and that's just crappy. so yeah. Anyway. Sigh.

I need to go to sleep soon. I hope the girls in my hall don't keep me up. They tend to be quite loud. All the time. It's kind of irritating. Most of them are freshman. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. (Thoughts of: Was I that loud when I was a freshman? run through my head on occasion. But usually, I can only think that I wasn't. I've never been a loud person, in general. Every once in awhile, maybe, but not as a rule.) Either way though, I'm not a fan. But such is life.

(Speaking of being loud: Today in Latin I raised my hand at one point to read and translate one of the sentences in the story we had to do for homework. I hadn't said a word yet up to that point, so I was a tad surprised to find that when I tried to talk, my voice was rather weak and shaky. It was weird.)

I would also like to point out that these SnackWells cookies are delicious. I had them years ago, and then this semester noticed them at the Huddle. I'm so addicted. So very very addicted.

Ok, well I have nothing of interest to say (as if I ever do), so I'm going to attempt to be productive for a little while, and then head off to bed.

Really, I don't mind

I don't really mind writing papers for my classes. Really. Provided they're not like a ridiculous length, but even then let's face it I'd still go longer than I was supposed to. What I really do mind about paper-writing is when teachers make me come up with the freaking questions myself. I mean, it just seems stupid. I come up with a question, and then I answer it. What's the point? I'm just going to ask a question that I already know the answer to or something. (Well, I am going to think that that's not good enough and therefore I'll think of some question that takes me forever to answer, because I overthink everything.) But seriously. Just tell me what to write about, and I can write it. Don't make me tell me what to write about, and then make me write it. How about I come up with a question, and my prof has to write a paper for me to read. Yeah. That sounds good.

Global warming indeed

The library here is closed. Flooding, apparently due to some pipes bursting. Any guesses as to what might have caused that? (I'm guessing the cold, obviously, but really I have no idea. Could just be a coincidence.) Lots of schools in the area were closed today, and are already closed for tomorrow, just because of the wind chill. It's not snowing at all, in fact the sun was out at least weakly most of the day. But it's cold. (But really, walking to class and all, it didn't feel that terribly cold. Sure, this morning my legs kind of froze. Sure it's hard to keep my face from freezing. But it's not like I have to walk miles or anything.) Anyway. Apparently it's really cold in a lot of places. Minnesota, North Dakota with honest temperatures at 30 and 40 below, not just wind chill. Now that is cold. (And I'm sure most people would see that and think, dang I'm glad I don't live there. But there's a part of me that is really attracted by that. I'm weird, I know. What can I say, I like my winter to be, well, wintry. And considering that this is the first winter in quite some time that I can remember actually feeling wintry for a consistent amount of time, I'll enjoy it as long as it lasts.) But don't worry. Global warming, remember? This'll all go away soon enough. Oh, plus the groundhog saw his shadow (or...didn't...I forget which stands for what), so spring is just around the corner. Sure feels like it, too. (Haha, one of the cartoons in the viewpoint section today was with the groundhog, and two guys talking, and one said something about how spring will be coming sooner this year, but the groundhog hasn't made it back in the ground yet because he's frozen. It was funnier to see it, obviously, and also probably funnier if you're actually experiencing these freezing temps and whatnot.)

Oh, good news, the library--at least most of it--is back open. Good. (I haven't stepped foot in that library since I've been back.)

Not that anyone really cares, but tomorrow's high is now a balmy 1 degree above zero. And it's not even supposed to get to 1 degree until the afternoon. It's crazy. It's supposed to feel like 22 below around the time I have to walk to Debartolo in the morning. Lovely. Ah well. It's all good. at least it's finally snowing again.

Bears lost. I pretty much expected that to happen, because I haven't had much luck with the teams I want to win lately. Plus, as I was realizing this afternoon, freshman year my team won the superbowl (Patriots, obviously), then last year it was Bethany's team (Steelers), so it's only fitting that this year Caitlin gets her team to win. Now next year we get to start over because neither Katherine nor Julie really have a team. So next year it'll be the Patriots again. Mark my words. (Crap I think I just jinxed them.)

Seriously, though, it wasn't a very good game really. So many turnovers. Really kind of boring actually. And most of the commercials weren't that good either. I enjoyed the two new Sierra Mist ones they had at the beginning of the game, but yeah. Not a whole lot of others were really that great. Oh well. And now begins the dark period of no football. :-( I don't like that. Especially since the only sports to watch now are basketball and hockey, and neither of those really interest me even a little bit. (Except, maybe, if I were to go to one of the ND basketball or hockey games. That's different.)

Funny story. I brought some homework to Bethany and Caitlin's to do during the game, and most especially wanted to get the Latin done as that's the only thing technically due tomorrow. So I brought my Latin book and the notebook I do the translated sentences in. We have a second book, 38 Latin Stories, that we've used once so far and it was in class. I almost brought it with me, but then figured the homework for tomorrow was probably just in the regular book. Of course, once I checked it later, it was in the 38 Latin Stories book. So I just did the two assignments for Wednesday and Thursday so at least I had a head start on that. And now I'm translating the story we have to translate for tomorrow. Which I've already translated last semester, so I know basically what's going on, so that's helpful. Done with that now. Cool. I should go to bed. It's about 11, which means I have to wake up in about 8 hours, and 8 hours of sleep sounds magnificent. Of course, with this stuffy nose I have, who knows how long it might take me to get to sleep. It'll be either that or my cough that's going to keep me up. Or neither will, and I'll be happy.

I got the first reading done for my Trads class today. The second one is 20 pages of the course packet, and each page has two pages of whatever book the reading was copied out of, and for this reading, the text is ridiculously small and hard to read. So it's hard to get into it at all. But at least I have the first reading done, which is better than I had done last week at this point. Of course, I have a paper due in Trads on Monday--5 pager (or is it 6? It's either 6 5 pagers or 5 6pagers for the semester), and I'll be gone on a retreat all weekend. So hopefully I can get some of that done this week sometime. He says we'll talk about what we have to do for it tomorrow, which is good as I'm kind of at a loss based on the little blurb he has on the one page (two if you include the back) syllabus. Hopefully it won't be too bad though.

Lately I've been kind of stressing about two things. Not really stressing so much as...pondering. First is a summer job. I desperately don't want to get stuck doing retail again. I would love to do something that's of interest to me, like something in my field, but that's a lot harder to do than if I were, say, an engineering major of some kind. (I'd also like to get an internship that pays as much as those engineering ones, but good luck with that, Susie. Seriously, all my engineering friends who have internships this summer are going to be getting paid like $15, 16, 18 an hour. Ridiculous.) I have no idea what to look for though. Most internships aren't exactly theology-related. And Colorado Springs isn't exactly a hotbed of internships, like a place such as Chicago might be. And to go along with this, sort of, my other ponderings center around what I want to do after I graduate. It's coming up, eventually, really it is. Here's part of my problem. I don't really want a career. I've never been career-driven, never wanted something like that. What I want is to be a boring housewife. (Yeah, yeah, what a waste of an expensive education and four years of hard work, blah blah blah.) However, I'm currently lacking a very important part of that plan; namely, a husband (well, a boyfriend, since I'm obviously not going to be married in college). So I do need to think about what I want to do. Other than that, I mean. And I just don't know. I mean, I have ideas of things I'd like to do, I just don't know if I have the ability, or the possibility, or I just don't know how to go about pursuing it. So...I have to start figuring out something soon. Obviously a hope would be that I'd find something good to do this summer, and it'd be something I could go back to after I graduate. Or if all else fails I could always do graduate school and push the real world off a little longer. I just don't know. And I'm kind of at a loss as to how to go about figuring out what to do. So...yeah. I don't know.

Well, I'm not going to figure out anything tonight. Bed is calling.

Brain: Out for the day

Still sick. Definitely just a cold though, I think. I've sneezed more in the past two days than I have the entire 2007 so far. Not that that's saying much, as I rarely sneeze. More often than I sneeze, I almost sneeze and look weird and sometimes even make a weird noise, and then it goes away without the fulfillment of the sneeze itself. And people look at me funny. I think it's a subconscious thing, and I don't want to sneeze when I'm in class or in church or in some place like that (because it could lead to potentially embarrassing situations, ones that involve needing tissues and such), so I suppress them. But anyway. I'm sneezing a lot lately. And coughing now too. And last night (actually 6am this morning) I woke up and my stomach just wasn't happy. This has happened before on occassion, something just doesn't sit right with me, or there's some weird unbalance thing going on in there, and I know that the only thing that'll make me feel better is to throw up. So I went into the bathroom after laying in bed for a few minutes, wanting to go back to sleep but also wanting to be relieved of that feeling, and then I just stood in a stall for awhile, trying to will myself to throw up. Kind of trying to make myself gag (although I didn't like stick my finger down my throat, even though I started to get very tempted to do that). Eventually I did throw up, and I did feel better, and I went back to sleep. So yeah. I'm planning on going to bed shortly after the Superbowl tonight. I don't have any real reason to stay up doing anything, as I never have anything due on Mondays (except maybe Latin homework, but that takes me all of 10 minutes usually, and I'll do that during the game tonight). There you have it. My fun story of being not even very sick. (And for the record, I don't really think that the throwing up had anything to do with being sick, since I've had that feeling before when I wasn't sick. Who knows though.)

It's still really cold. Although, it's weird, I'd think that having a wind chill in the negative 20s would feel much much colder. But it doesn't feel exceptionally colder than say when the temps were in the teens. Of course, at that point I'm sure the wind chill was pretty cold too. Just not negative 20s cold. I guess once you hit a certain temperature, everything's just cold.

I'm tired, and very tempted just to take a nap right now. I should do some more reading (I can probably get at least my Trads reading done today, if I try, and I would feel just oh so happy with myself if I managed that), but I'm so tired. And cold. And my bed looks sooooo warm and inviting right now...

Brrrrrr

Firstly: Is it a new thing for the ads at the tops of webpages to make noise? At least two times in the past few days I've been at a website (different ones) and the ad makes noise. It's really annoying, and I hope it's not some new thing that soon they'll all be using. Because that's just not cool.

Second: It's ridiculously frigid. Right now, the temperature is a balmy 3 degrees below 0. And it gets better. It feels like it's 22 below zero. We're actually under a wind chill advisory, which I've never really heard of. But they keep telling us (they being the weather channel) that exposed flesh will freeze in under thirty minutes. It's really cold. We went to the Keenan Revue tonight, and it's held at the auditorium on St Mary's campus so we drove. The walk back, once it was over, from the D2 parking lot to Cavanaugh (about a 5-10 minute walk I guess. Probably closer to 5 but it always feels longer) was one of the coldest things I've ever felt. Ok that sentence didn't make sense. But man was it cold. Like...ridiculously cold. My gloves weren't doing anything, and they're warm gloves. My jeans weren't doing anything against that wind chill either. I forgot to bring a hat or ear warmers with me tonight, so nothing on my head was warm at all. (My winter coat has a hood that attaches to it, but I never wear it with the hood because generally it's not necessary, and the past two winters I was here I never really used it, so I didn't bring it back with me this time. And I really wish I had now.) My face was the reddest I've probably ever seen it once we got back to the room. I mean...really red. Maybe not REALLY red, but pretty red. I've never really experienced cold like this before. I honestly don't know if I ever have. It's actually kind of cool. No one, probably, at all, anywhere, ever would agree with me, but I don't mind it a whole lot. It kinda sucks a little bit if you have to walk anywhere that's farther than like 20 feet away, but I don't know. I don't mind it all that much. I'm sure there's lot of people who do though. But aside from the fact that I think it's so cold it's preventing any snow from falling, I like it. Makes you really appreciate the warmth of being inside. Although, it did thwart my hopes to play in the snow this weekend. Alas.

But yeah speaking of snow, every day this past week they've said it's going to snow. Every day, pretty much, the sun peeked out, at least for a little while if not all day. And there was no snow. Maybe a few flurries here and there, but yeah. It's kind of disappointing. We still have lots on the ground, of course, but it's getting blown away and stuff, and we need a new layer of a few inches. I think by next weekend it's going to "warm up" to like 20s or so, and maybe we'll get more snow then. Right now, the idea of 20s feels very warm indeed. I mean, I'm getting very used to these 15 and 12 and 8 degree temperatures. Sunday and Monday, or Monday and Tuesday, or something have a high of 4 degrees. 4. It's funny. Oh cool, Monday night at 9 (when I have that nice long walk from the DPAC back here), the projected wind chill is only 11 below. I was expecting it to be colder. (Man am I going to bundle up for that, that's for sure! And I definitely won't forget a hat OR ear warmers. I hope.) Anyway. I seriously need to move to like Minnesota or North Dakota or something. I really like cold temperatures. Much as it may hurt...hehe.

I guess it would be ridiculous to wear a skirt to church tomorrow. Quite sadly. I don't really know what I'm going to wear...I guess khakis or something. I don't know where my brown clogs are. I thought I brought them, but I looked for them last week sometime and couldn't find them. So I don't know. hm. I would just wear my boots, but they look weird with my khakis. (Believe me. I already wore the two together last week. I tried not to care, as they kept my feet warm and dry.) Oh well.

So, I was working this morning, and there was this little kid in the store with his dad, and he made me think of Jason although he was somewhat older than Jason. But it really made me miss Jason. He's such a cute kid. (Of course, I don't have to deal with him when he's a pain, but yeah. Oh well.) And I'm sitting here and I just happened to look at the little thing of Kebbie puppy pictures I have, and man she was such a cute puppy. Seriously, the cutest dog I've ever seen. Obviously I'm biased, but seriously. I think it'd be hard to disagree that she was a ridiculously cute puppy. Anyway, looking at them made me miss her and her fluffiness. I can't wait to hug her again. Ah, well, the things we give up for other things.

I'm still feeling a bit off today. Sore throat is mostly gone, replaced by just a scratchiness, and a general head cold feeling. And now I'm just feeling weird. I need to go to sleep. I will, soon.

Superbowl is tomorrow. I'm still very upset that the Patriots aren't in it. They so should be. And they would win. Sigh. I hate the Colts.

Peter turned 19 today. How weird. He graduates from AIT on Thursday or something, then gets some time off which he'll obviously spend at home. I think he'll start his actual Army job like a day or two before I get home for spring break. But at least he'll be at Ft Carson, so I'll probably still get to see him at least a little bit. And then at some point he'll probably end up getting sent to Iraq. I so hope he doesn't, but it seems unreasonable to think he won't. Sadly.

Ok now I'm starting to feel like I'm going to throw up. I probably won't, but I think it's a sign I should definitely go to bed. Goodnight.

The wonders of language

In my Middle Ages class this week, we've been talking a bit about Old English and such. On Wednesday my prof even said some things in Old English. I am such a fan of it. It sounds so cool. I've always loved language in general. It's fascinating. I considered majoring in linguistics when I was looking at colleges, but it's not a common major and I kind of just dropped that idea. But I do love learing about the evolution of words and such. The fact that the English we now speak somehow came from the Old English of the world of Beowulf is just...bizarre, but completely amazing. Today in our discussion section for that class, my TA played us a recording of the Our Father in Old English (as he couldn't find anyone speaking Beowulf in it, and the Our Father is something everyone knows pretty much by heart here, so it's more relatable). Most of it is not really recognizable to English-speakers, but there were a few words (namely, the forgive us part) that we could definitely recognize. Also in that class today, we discussed sort of how England came to be what it is. It was Celtic first, then the Anglo-Saxons came over, and then at some point the Vikings came and conquered part of it, and then later the invasion by Normandy happened, and yeah. So as a result, the language of England morphed from Celtic to Old English (which is Germanic in origin) to some Dutch--apparently about 10% of the English language are words we got from the Vikings--and then eventually French took over, and mostly wiped out a lot of the Anglo-Saxon predominance. Or something along those lines, anyway.

I was reading something else today, after class, regarding Latin (comments about that article I posted yesterday that talked about how it's a "dead" language. Duh). Someone mentioned that it's a good thing it's "dead," because it doesn't evolve anymore. A person can learn it as it is now, and it'll be the same in 2000 years because no one speaks it primarily and thus it doesn't get changed by slang and such. And the person who said that also said something about how in 2000 years, the English language of today will be as unrecognizable to English speakers then as Old English is to us now. And it's so weird to think that, but it's probably true. I mean, maybe not, who knows, but going by history, it's probably true. I guess there's less conquering going on now, thus less influence by other languages, but maybe in 2000 years the language will have morphed so much that everyone speaks the same language across the board. (If that's true, it'd probably have a great deal of English influence because America's such an influence on the rest of the world, it seems, for better or worse, that it just makes sense that everyone would eventually know English. Like everyone used to know Latin, way back when.) But will people look at our keyboards and think, "They used weird shapes for their letters..." Or, will British English turn into a separate language entirely from American English? Who knows.

My TA put up a word in Old English that was the word for peasant. It was "eorthling", only the "th" was a funky little d-looking thing kind of, but it meant basically a "th" sound. (And the plural was eorthlingas, which made me smile because it reminded me of Lord of the Rings, and how there's the Eorlingas who were, I believe, the Rohirrim. Oh dude, I just found this sweet site about the Old English used in Lord of the Rings. That's pretty exciting. Man I'm a dork.) And it's just so cool, how a language that's so different from the one we speak now evolved into what we speak now, and the connections the two have. I don't think I'm getting my point across very well, but I just love seeing the progression of things. I love knowing how a word we use now came to be, what it used to be, how it's different. It's so weird to think that English as it is now didn't exist throughout much of history. It's just so cool. I mean, I wonder how we decided that "ch" should make the sound it does. Latin doesn't have that sound, Celtic just has the rule that if a C is next to a certain vowel, it makes that sound or something. How did we decide on some of the random spellings we have? And it's interesting to think what our language would be like today if, say, French hadn't wiped out so much of Anglo-Saxon writing and language and such. Would it still be around today? Or would we still be speaking something similar to what we speak? How do languages come to be so different, yet with so many things in common? And of course, I love learning Latin because it's so related to English, despite all the steps English took to get where it is now. I love learning new Latin words and seeing the words we have in English that are based on that Latin word. It just excites me. Or, to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite movies, it thrills me to my fingertips. Ok maybe not that strong, but still. I love it. Apparently there's an Old English course offered here sometimes. Looks like it was offered last semester, but not this semester. I'll have to check that out, maybe I'll take it next semester if it's offered. I think it'd be really cool.

Anyway. I'm a language freak. Perhaps I love grammar so much because the correct use of it stems from language. Ok maybe not. But still. They're both fascinating.

And know what's wacky? This is actually a correct sentence: Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo; Buffalo buffalo buffalo. Seriously. To substitute so that there are different word in there: Chicago bears hit Indianapolis colts; Boston terriors lick. But yeah. It wouldn't work if Buffalo weren't a city, but lucky for us, it is. (The verb buffalo, by the way, means to bewilder, baffle, or bamboozle, apparently.) I had read that sentence before, but we talked about it today in Latin because one of the girls asked why a language would have the same spelling of a word mean two different things (in the case she was talking about, "Bella bella non sunt," which means "Wars are not pretty"--wars plural is bella, and the adjective pretty, to agree with war in gender, number, and case, is also bella). And it was weird that she said that, because there are tons of words like that in the English language, and how she didn't realize this, I don't know. I mean, wind and wind, live and live, ...I can't think of others at the moment, but yeah. Well, obviously, buffalo. It was funny, in Latin, because some people were really tripping out over that sentence. (Side note: I don't think I've ever actually typed the phrase "tripping out" before. Interesting.) Anyway.

Enough of this Susie is a geek stuff. I'm gonna go read Harry Potter. (haha.)

Victory

I got two pieces of good news in the mail today (at home).

First, I made the deans list at UCCS! You have no idea how happy this makes me, how fulfilled, how completely thrilled.

haha.

Second, I got money from the post office for the Harry Potter books! That is actually pretty exciting, even though it's like $24. But still. Redeems them a bit in my mind. Not that they care.

What an exciting day, no? Almost makes the tiredness, the sore throat, all of that just...go away. ha.

Exhaustion

Boy am I tired. Boy should I be in my bed right now, taking a much-needed nap. Boy am I not because I bought tea after my last class and it's only just now getting to the point where it's cool enough for me to drink. Oh well. I wouldn't normally buy tea, but I wanted something hot and soothing because I've been plagued with a sore throat all day. One of the ones that make it seem like I might be getting sick. But hopefully I can fight it. I took a Vitamin C, a zinc, and a vita lea multi vitamin thing this morning before classes, in an attempt to make it go away. Just took more. I've peed four times already today. (Including getting up in the middle of one of my classes to go. I NEVER do that. I always feel bad, so even if I have to I generally wait. But lots of people get up in the middle of class to do whatever, so this once I figured, eh what the heck.) No one wants to know that, I know, but for me, three or four times a day total is normal. I know, I don't drink enough, whatever. Today I made sure to drink lots of water, and that coupled with a teeny cup of coffee at the dining hall (where I decided to go for breakfast today during my break, instead of just getting grabngo and sitting in the lounge in Debartolo), plus another teeny 8 oz cup that I got after breakfast when I got grabngo (to use my lunch meal, since I have some extras this week) caused me to have to pee. A lot. But that's a good thing too, because I think you're supposed to try to pee more when you're sick so as to get rid of more of the sickness, flush out your system, or...something. I don't know. Either way. I have a sore throat, and that's what really matters.

I'm going to take a nap soon, though, don't worry about that. Just gotta finish this tea, after which I'll probably have to pee again. Then the question is, do I try to wake up to go to Mass, or just let myself sleep until someone calls me to go to dinner? I did want to try and go to Mass today, as it's the feast of Candlemas, and I happen to think that that is a pretty awesome name for a feast day. But I also do just really want to sleep...Maybe I'll set my alarm and see how I feel.

We talked more about Psycho today in my FTT discussion class. I think that the reason I wasn't too impressed by it is I just didn't fall into the same thought patterns as most people apparently generally do and are supposed to. (And here I'm going to talk about stuff that happens in the movie, so if for some reason you've never seen it and somehow have managed to go through life without knowing at least the basic plot of what happens, don't read the rest of this paragraph.) Firstly, apparently we're supposed to root for Marion (the main character) to get away with the $40,000 she steals, and thus we're supposed to dislike the cop guy who starts to follow her for a few minutes of the movie. Right there, I'm differing from how the viewer is supposed to react. I didn't feel sorry for her, and I almost wanted the cop to find out her secret and stop it right there (obviously this wasn't going to happen or the movie wouldn't happen). I didn't really want her to get away with it. I'm not a fan of people breaking the law and getting away with it. So I didn't really sympathize with her character, as we're supposed to. And once she was dead and gone, I didn't really sympathize with Norman's character, as again we're apparently supposed to to a certain degree. Granted, this could be because I knew the plot twist at the end of the movie, so this might have hampered with my ability to see Norman as the abused lonely character he is, but I don't know. When Arbogast, the detective, starts questioning Norman and points out inconsistencies in his story and whatnot, I didn't feel bad for Norman because he was being bullied by yet another person. I was like, he just let his "mother" get away with murder and hid all the evidence. Put him in jail. I liked Arbogast. I sided with him. And same with Sam and Lila. I didn't feel bad for Norman when Sam was pressuring him to tell him the truth (although, what Sam thought was the truth was slightly different than what was actually the truth, because he was thinking it was about the money and the money was really in the swamp with everything else that Marion had). So I don't know. Maybe I'm just too attached to what I believe to suspend myself long enough to watch a movie that apparently wants to make me root for things with which I don't necessarily agree, generally. Anyway though. Whatever. There's never going to be a movie that absolutely everyone loves.

Oh, and I just have to say, I was reminded today that there's a scene in which Marion is calculating how much of the $40,000 she has left after spending some to buy a new car. Here's the hilarious thing. She spent exactly $700 on that new car (plus trading in her old one), and so on her piece of paper, she had written
40,000
- 700
--------
33,000

As if she couldn't figure out in her head what 40000 minus 700 was. That really made me laugh, but no one else laughed when we were watching it so I had to laugh inwardly. But it was funny. perhaps I saw it wrong, but that's what I saw.

Man, why'd I get the medium size tea? Oh well. My throat is feeling slightly better, perhaps partially because of it.

You know the crappy thing about loving to take lots of pictures? You're never in any of them. Kinda not cool, people.

Ok naptime.

giNORmous

I have something I need to tell you all. A secret, or a confession, if you will.













Sometimes I feel like a giant.

There, it's out. I feel so much better. Haha. Seriously though, man sometimes I feel huge. Not fat, necessarily, just...big. I mean, when you're as tall or taller or just slightly shorter than the majority of guys you meet (it seems), and quite a few of those guys are...well, skinny, or "lean," or whatever, it's bound to happen. Kinda sucks, but that's just the way it is. It's always been like that (and at least now there are, you know, one or two guys taller than me, as opposed to back in like 5th and 6th and 7th grade and whatnot, before the guys hit puberty), so...yeah. Oh well. My perception of height is admittedly very skewed. I mean, most people hear a guy's 6'2 or whatever (or 6'1, or 6'3, etc), and they're like "man he's tall," and I think "Huh, I guess that's kinda tall." But I've been around guys that are 6'5, 6'6 my whole life (my dad, and my grandpop's around there, and now Tom is too, and Peter's not quite that tall but close enough), so that's kind of my measuring stick. But to the rest of the world, 6'6 is huge. And thus, for a girl for the rest of the world, 5'10 is huge. All the girls here are teeny, it seems. I mean, aside from Julie (who's in Rome this semester), my three closest friends here are all like...I don't know, really short. Around 5'2 maybe, something like that, I think. Thus I can't help but feel like I tower over people sometimes. So it's kinda sucky sometimes. But it's just me. My perception of things. My self-consciousness about something which probably isn't as noticeable to other people as it is to me. Or maybe everyone notices it. Either way, there's not much I can do about it beyond...maybe cutting my leg off below the knee or something. But that'd just be weird. Oh well.

Thoughts on a Thursday afternoon

So, it's officially february now. Know what one thing January has over February? I like writing it more than I like to write February. Especially in cursive. Capital Js in cursive are one of my favorite letters. (Along with capital Ls, when I do them right, and...yeah. I especially like those two.) I am not a fan of the cursive capital F. But I do like it better than the cursive capital T. I hate doing those. And I refuse to do a cursive capital Z. I just write it like a normal one. Actually, I tend to do that a lot when I write cursive lately. I've gotten to the point where I rarely write cursive "s"s. Capital or small. Not sure why. It's weird. I just go with the flow, and that's what happens when I flow I guess. Which sounds gross, but I promise you it isn't. It's just my hand that flows. Haha. Ok sorry. So anyway, back to the point, I'd much rather every month start with J because I like to write out the month name, and I don't like capital Fs. So there. (March, April, and May, and then...well I guess pretty much all the rest of the month names, I enjoy or don't mind writing. Interesting. Also interesting that I'd waste two minutes of my life to write about how I don't like writing a month name. Hm.)

I found out something exciting today. The Harry Potter release date (for the next book) is out! July 21, a week after the movie. This is very exciting. But now I really have to get on it, because that means I only have 5.5 months to finish reading the 5th and 6th books! ha. But yeah, yay for that. Aw, darn, I just saw the price it'll be selling for. The hardcover is $34.99. I'm not a fan of hardcover (aside from their many times more durability than paperbacks), because they're just not as comfortable for me to hold while I'm reading and whatnot. Plus they're bigger, heavier, and more expensive. And, man, $35 for a book? Geez. this book must be ridiculously huge if that's how much it is. It's like $10 more than the other ones, I think. (The other hardcovers, that is.) Sigh. But I can't wait until the paperback comes out, because by then everyone else will have read it and I don't want to be the only one who's not in on what happened. Plus, there's no way I won't find out the end before the paperbacks come out. Alas. I guess I'll just have to shell out the money for it. Freaking better be the best book I've ever read. :-) Oh wait, scratch that. I just went to amazon.com, where of course their home page has a big thing about Harry Potter, and I can get it for the preorder price of like $18-something. That's way more reasonable. So I'll be doing that. Not at the moment, but hopefully in a couple weeks. (It'll stay the same price, right? Don't know why it wouldn't.)

Speaking of money, I can finally buy Celtic Woman concert tickets for the show in South Bend in April. However, I'm not going to, as they are $42 each for the cheapest seats. And one, I don't know who else would want to go with me (and concerts are just more fun with at least one other person you know), and two, I want to spend as little as possible right now. So. They did apparently add a show in Denver at the end of May. Which means I'll be home. And it's at Red Rocks. I think. Maybe I read it wrong. Either way. I may just wait and go to that. And maybe I can be cool and go with my mom, as she's the person I always go to concerts with. (And by always, I mean once, and by concerts, I mean the one I've been to, which was Norah Jones, and it was awesome.) And maybe they'll be cheaper. Anyway. I think I'm just going to shoot for that. Might not end up going to that one either, but I can dream at least. Oh, and speaking of Celtic Woman, their new CD that I have in my shopping basket on my amazon account (which, lovely for me, stays no matter how long it's been in there) has gone down like a dollar since I put it in. Since the beginning of this week, even. So that's cool. Maybe by the time I actually place and finalize the order, it'll be even cheaper!

So, Latin is dying out (or, is dead--who knew?), even among Catholic higher-ups, apparently. Know what the solution is? Get more people to learn it! Make it mandatory in seminaries again. Make it...well I don't want to say more interesting, because I happen to think it's plenty interesting (have I mentioned lately that I'm in love with it?) but I don't know. It's really a great language. I don't want it to die out in the Church. That would be no good, no good at all. I really don't think it will, and this might just be a bit of an emotion-driven rant or something. Of course, I did also read today that for the first time in modern history, the Latin version of a Pope's encyclical (in this case, Deus Caritas Est) has had to be reprinted. It was an article about the popularity of the encyclical, which has had to have multiple reprints in languages like Spanish and German, and even Latin. So that's kind of cool.

And now, for your viewing pleasure (and because I can't seem to muster enough enthusiasm to put more of my pretty pictures on here), I give you one of my favorites of the batch I took over Christmas break, the picture that is my new current background:
Eh, what the heck, I'll add a few more of my favorites:

I'm a big fan of snow-covered yuccas. (This and the first were taken at Palmer Park.)

This was a few days later, after we had gotten some more snow, and it was freeeeeezing out and everything was snow and frost covered. And the trees looked cool against the really blue sky. Especially this kind of tree. They looked really...puffy.

This is one of those willow trees, or something, I think, and the effect of the frost/snow on it just seemed really cool. Like a bunch of icicles or something.

I just liked the white on blue effect here. I love Colorado's blue sky. Tis gorgeous.

And Kebbie. Because she's pretty much just the cutest dog ever. This was in the car on the way to Palmer Park. I like her. :-)

Ok, so maybe I'll do another post some other time with more. But at least you all can see some of my favorites. Because I'm sure you were all itching for them. (yeah, right.) Hehe. Well, they make me happy anyway.

Huh?

So, apparently yesterday in Boston there was some bomb scare. And now two guys are being charged with like a hoax that incited panic or something weird like that. First of all, I'm really confused as to why people thought those things look like bombs. I just don't get it at all. And secondly, it makes no sense to me whatsoever that the guys who put them there are being charged with anything. It's not like they did it with the intention of making people think it was a bomb or anything. At least, that's what it seems like to me. I don't know. Seems like people are just being way too uber-sensitive, and then blaming whoever they can once they realize that they made a mistake. Yeah, better safe than sorry, but I don't know. I wouldn't see that thing (there's one little picture of one of the "bombs" and to me it just looks like a Lite Bright of some weird cartoon character) and immediately think, "Oh no, it's a bomb!" But maybe that's just me.

Book-A-Minute Classics

Beowulf
by Anonymous


Hrothgar

Let's build a big old dining hall and call it Herot.

(They do. Then Grendel, an ugly guy, takes over Herot and eats people. Beowulf rips his arm off.)

All

You rule, Beowulf.

(Some people make SPEECHES and tell IRRELEVANT STORIES. Beowulf kills some more STUFF.)

Beowulf

Wiglaf, I'm dying. See that my funeral pyre fits my greatness.

Wiglaf

Ok.

THE END

Yeah, I have to read that for my Middle Ages class this week. Lucky for me, now I don't have to, because I just read the super-ultra-condensed version!
Ah, if only I could get away with it...

(I really do like these book a minutes. They have classics and others. They're quite enjoyable.)

(Crap. I found a section where they do kids books. They're hilarious. Let the procrastination begin...But at least they have Anne of Green Gables!)